JB_Studio38

Fortunately, the online circuit is mostly safer than the streets and other means. Most of the scariest incidents here among gays and sex in America is: usually from Grindr, hookup apps or random drunken nightclub “freebies”. Generally those situations occur because there’s a lack setting boundaries (also known as being “difficult” to some).

And to add; nothing is difficult about what I’m asking. It’s all very elementary stuff. If you can go to RentMasseur, or RentMen, look thru profiles, and go thru the trouble and difficulty of contacting your interest: It’s a piece of cake logging onto Venmo or Cash App and clicking 1 button to confirm a session. The real part that’s difficult? TRUST. T R U S T. And it seems to lack for some. For example: the other day I was trying to book a client who contacted me. I mentioned my deposit. No, he only pays cash (lies). Okay, I’ll make an exception (any time I have to say that, they rarely pan out anyway). Then I asked for something like a pic (I don’t normally but he just wasn’t giving me enough essential info about him/what he was looking for, and I felt like I needed a pic before I was going to travel to the next city and meet him). He’s like nope, doesn’t want to do that either, and that he’s cancelling. There’s a difference between being discreet and being uncompromising. You can’t just go around and expect providers to run things the way you want them to be. Plus, when I sent a cancellation fee request: he had his picture already public on the payment app 🤦🏽‍♂️ There’s even tons of discussions out on Reddit about these topics:

Who is most other escorts? Not the same ones people mention who flake out or don’t answer their phones when the client shows up? It’s not necessarily about making things more difficult, it’s just having the right to run things the way a person sees fit. I don’t have to do what “most” other escorts do, because not all escorts have the same circumstances as one another. Plus, unless you ask you really don’t know what someone’s situation is. They can display whatever they want you to hear in their ads, or likewise leave out whatever. In my case, I have to address hosting because that’s often the majority of requests I get. So I’m telling people I can host, but I’m not just able to take it any way they want to show up. It’s not just showing up anymore. I need deposit. That’s not being difficult, that’s called boundaries. And running an individual show. Now I have asked myself the same, and I have been either feeling the effect from it or just from the general MonkeyPox stuff that’s been slowing things down already. So I have relaxed on outcalls for the time being. However incalls still need to be handled a certain way.

That I’m aware of. There’s a site I browse in UK called Saafe and they actually have a “warnings and wasters “ section on their forum that discreetly allows users to post bad incidents and even a separate section for non threatening situations where an in person meet may not have occurred, but could be a proceed with caution situation (hint hint @Kevin Slater and our dear mods as this forum becomes so much more innovative than ever before 😉 But I’ve seen the reports. London and the UK had some real loonies. But probably not nearly much more than here.

I do simply state that in my ad. Most recently I had to make it a little clearer. Though I never implied I couldn’t host. Many times especially on RentMasseur where it doesn’t layout the profile with profile text first: few ever reads my ad. That’s why on occasion I’ll hide my number because, they just look at pictures, click my number, yet have no idea about what my limitations and preferences are to the most essential details. I even say in my ad what my hosting hours are, to correspond with hotels (anytime after 11 a.m. or before 3 p.m. is not a good time to schedule unless I’m there consecutive nights). people still contact me asking to meet outside those times. I will admit part of the confusion lies with the layout of RMass. There’s lots of info but nothing that directly points to directions before contacting. I should ask when people click our number, we need to be able to have a message in there of our own.

I’ve come up with a temporary solution from now until I can get back into a full time incall spot: Going to be adding an extra $100 to bookings where I have to host. Leaning more towards $100, but maybe $50-75 as a midpoint. Regardless if I have 1 or 3 clients booked that day. Just like restaurants charge the cost of a bottle for 1 glass, I pretty much have to let the hotel be more profitable. Having to go out and get a hotel from home or even when I’m already traveling is costing me more than just money. It’s time looking, booking, etc. dealing with incompetent hotel staff/annoying guests who come 5 in a group, take up 15 minutes to check in when I have a client on the way: also stresses me out. And I just haven’t been getting paid enough to do it. Example: last Friday I booked a room to host on Priceline, pre-paid $87. But upon arrival, there was mixup that the hotel couldn’t charge the 3rd party’s credit card. Half hour waiting went by, and decided I just throw down my card and have them charge it until they figured it out. That amount is still tied up on my account, right when it’s time for my RentMen ad renewal, which is also $80. I can’t keep covering the costs to host. People need to just get it out their heads that everyone can just easily host them anytime on a dime. It’s costing me money out of pocket to do so, and I’m not earning enough back when it’s only 1, maybe 2 clients who book in a day. There’s an (female) escort in San Francisco who charges an extra $200 “rush fee” for same day bookings and I think an extra to host as well. I’m not necessarily going that route, but it’s time to start adding onto rates where it takes extra time and money. Many clients just want to hear a 1 number rate, and expect it to cover every situation. No. If it costs me more, I have to charge more.

“allegedly agreed to pay $80 for a brief sexual encounter with an undercover detective, it was reported. “ These are not rates quoted by actual *ex workers, they were quoted by the “fishers” and the cheap price reeled in the “bait” That said, how disgusting and predictable. Polk County in Florida, I used to live there briefly. Was actually the last county I lived in Florida. I probably only got 1 actual client in the area, but all other times I would go to Orlando, Tampa, etc. That area is just nasty and trashy to begin with. I don’t even know how these people even got trapped in the first place. But that’s also why I have turned down 2 “invites” to come to Florida this year. I just refuse to go back, unless like in November: it’s a special commercial event that I’m getting paid to attend, and have all accommodations paid. But to go and try to “tour” for clients: absolutely not. Unless I have one booked in advance for an overnight or weekend. The people in ”leadership/power” in Florida, are just trash. Dirty, filthy, nasty trash lol. And then business there is less than what it should be because half are afraid of getting “stung” by shit like this. It’s the absolute worse. I hoped we were headed in the right direction with criminal Justice reform, it seems to still be “held up”. If we are going to give so much reverence on national television to the Queen of England, than for fucks sake: at least take into account that she never placed bans on individual sex work.

I think that could be the effects of “dual income” providing. Perhaps if they have extra things going on, they can ask for a higher amount. Good for them, not great for those hiring. That’s why I prefer to be in the 175-250 range to start. Even though I am getting more variety and better quality of clients, it still seems like the amount overall has dropped off a bit. I can see somebody else being like: I’ll just do this “on the side” and get my 1 or 2 $500 client per month and I’ll be straight. Fantasy doesn’t always become reality…

I would just ask, “Are you comfortable being in the nude while doing the massage, or is that not something you offer?“ And it’s either yes or no at that point. Can’t control whether a person gets mad or not…you can decide whether you want to continue things the way they are or look elsewhere.

Right? You would think…but it’s not. Often times if one tells a client they’re getting a room “just for our meeting”, they’ll say, “well don’t get it just for me”. Well then what do you want lol. Some people contradict situations beyond what is reasonably called for. That’s why I no longer book anything “just for” one person, and I tell them no: I’m not booking it JUST for you, I’m going to stay there overnight too. And/or take more bookings if I need to, if I’ve paid for it. But since you’re priority and it’s no guarantee I will fill in an extra booking, it needs to be settled accordingly. What I decided to do for now is up my deposit for incalls moreso than for outcall sessions. Outcalls are generally much easier. I have considered before to stop offering incalls in my local market, but it’s next to impossible because that’ll be 99% of all bookings. It’s disappointing that so many clients can’t host in one area. But like someone said, when everybody is married or DL, this is what you have to work with.

This is what I need and I’ve tried to arrange here and there. I sorta have an agreement like this where I host from in one city. It has a private separate entry to use. But it’s small overall and not somewhere I can be full time. I also knew a guy in Kansas City and his partner who has an Airbnb they lived/rented part time, but they wanted to rent it full price and not allow guests. Sucks because it’s prime location. I’m about ready to just re-land in another city and get a regular spot. Hotels suck. But so do apartments. I’ve been shopping around and literally can’t find anything I’m interested in. Either doors are too close, or it’s upstairs, or parking is an issue. Or out of budget. I wouldn’t mind a private cottage in the woods somewhere. Sometimes houses aren’t really discreet if they’re too close to each other.

Well, that’s a more complex topic and I don’t think that belongs to this thread. Here’s the thing: I DO have other sources. The main thing is hosting. It’s easy to throw suggestions out without really taking into consideration the other person’s circumstances. Last thing I need is someone to harp and try to criticize a situation. Don’t go there with me ✋🏾 Unless you ask me personally what the situation is, don’t make assumptions. Plus I know people who are in better shape than me financially, in other lines of work…and they can’t host either. So it has nothing to do with living “week by week”. Let’s just be clear on that. And I should mention: I do host part-time from a place in 1 of the cities I reside (and this is partly why I can’t take on a extra work because I’m not in the same location full time), however that’s only when I’m in that city. When I’m in the other area I reside, or traveling to a different city, I don’t have accommodations to host readily available. Doable when I’m traveling but not so much when I have to leave “home” and go to a hotel. It somewhat worked back when I first came to the area, but then the clients kept booking more last minute, not minding to book more in advance, or they wouldn’t be available on the days/time I could give them. So I’ve tried to just switch to outcalls only in particular areas.

Namely because the hotel check-in process, always seems to go wrong. In the past couple weeks: I’ve had 3 hotels that couldn’t get my key card to work, and another that had some issue with the 3rd party I booked on. Each time, anywhere from 15-20 minutes gets burned up, which is time I need to get settled. All the while, the client is waiting and I’m looking bad. I always try to tell clients let me get to the hotel first, and then I’ll notify you to come. But very often they want a specific time and then show up early. It doesn’t leave room for something to go wrong. Not to mention, hotel prices are barely making any sense. I may not ALWAYS have funds available for a hotel + deposit. Sometimes the friends and family, AAA, points, come in handy but not always. It would be great if more clients can host, because it puts the expectation on us to “always be ready” at home even when we can host. I don’t even get the hotel clients much where I currently live, like when I lived in Dallas and Orlando. I almost want to tell clients they need to book a hotel if they can’t host at home either. But then they’ll expect me to discount the rate, etc. if they agree to it at all. Most aren’t going to, even when they know they can’t host.

Bravo 🙌🏾 However, idk if turnover rate can necessarily be attributed solely on the basis of client behavior. It could be a myriad of things. At the end of the day, many providers are being exposed to people who may not be their type. I’ve grown to learn: screen, screen, and screen someone. But just yesterday I had a client show up and I almost sent him home. Not because of his looks, but because he failed to include some other details about himself, and his “iPhone emoji” was not an accurate portrayal of him. But even that gave off a weird vibe. Most clients are okay sending pictures, but it’s starting to be a little bit of a red flag if they don’t. I don’t like surprises. There’s really no reason these days to not include a picture when approaching providers. Sometimes it almost “annoys me” that someone intentionally doesn’t show what they look like. Iif we’re going to meet, you might as well anyway. Atleast a body pic/half face I also don’t think that bad =bad and good =good all the time. Similar to how it’s no different if God escorts get bad clients. Lot of it is down to market, city, website.

This is a good policy, but idk… Cancellations for us (or me) tend to come with a lot of inconvenience. It’s hard to just brush and shrug something off. I admit personally: I can be bad at keeping doctors/etc appointments here and there. However, they often schedule them so far in advance, and it’s more hassle trying to “be there” versus just seeing me with a day or 2 notice. Another thing that happens every so often: you get to the client’s place and nobody answers. This has happened a few times, but fortunately many have hit me back and apologize, “sorry I fell asleep/was downstairs, etc “ There’s been times I’ve driven long distance to hear that, and I’m just hit with a wave of disbelief 🫢 But imagine if they didn’t? That is unforgivable. Have that happen enough times, I wouldn’t want to give a 2nd or 3rd time. It does surprise me though how places in the business world handle cancellations. Most seem pretty lenient. However they often are just stationary in an office and have clients booked on a schedule the whole day. Not us.

One thing that’s worth noting: over the past few years in the states, RentMen has pretty much become the monopoly site to be on. The only other sites to “shop” are either A4A, hookup apps or some of the very underground sites like “escort alligator”. I will have to say, fortunately I get far less “my other guy for $100” stories. Most of that though, tends to be from the A4A brigade. I think I’m going to take the step and remove myself from that platform, because it’s simply not making me hardly any money nowadays. I get the hits and exposure, but over the last couple years it’s really gone downhill. Not to mention they won’t allow rates and their mobile version barely allows any advertising or suggestion of being a professional.

What I would want to know is: how are the rent boys faring? It’s one thing to say somebody can get ‘em cheaper in another country, but what’s the situation like for them? Remember here in America: clients expect us to host, and have nobody else in the house/hotel, etc etc. All that costs money. On top of that: clients want to be protected from stds, this and that virus, etc. I can do clients for $100: but I’ll need to be setting 3-6 times the amount to make up for it. Do I really want to be seeing 3-6 times the amount of clients? Do YOU want to see someone who has to see 3-6 times the amount of clients? And let’s just face it: people out here probably aren’t really buying s*x like they may do in some other countries. many profiles on Grindr and Adam are about how such and such doesn’t pay and that said person should go and get a “job” (when reality it’s more of a projection of how much of a cheap ass and tight wad they actually are even if money wasn’t involved). That’s why I said awhile back: I rather ask $250-500/hr-couple hrs and be okay, than to do half that and still not be able to fill in enough clients to make it worthwhile.

Or Mexico… But then again, 100-200 likely goes further than here. Like hotels in even mediocre cities are running in that range.

It seems more popular in the larger cities. Hard to find that in some markets. My biggest pet peeve annoyance in the biz and just hookups in general: it’s often a problem that someone can’t host. Either they are married/partnered or live with family/roommates. I also feel clients often times assume we can host them at any hour at short or unexpected notice. I have heard of providers who refuse to host clients at all, they’re usually out the game after a year or 2. In some cities, probably most cities: if you can’t host, that cuts you out of like 50-75% of business. In Kansas City and other “closeted” towns, the numbers can be worse. More like 90%. It would be nice if I could use a hotel for a few hours in my local city, because when I’m here I am not hosting short notice. But many hotels: they’re too cheap to hire housekeeping after 2 or 3 p.m. So any sort of “check in” is billed as an entire night. My solution has just been to have clients book and send a deposit, and the days I get a room: that’s reserved as a day to host and be available.

You mean escorts should be able to see the ratings of clients… But then again, you do have a point. Escorts can see ratings of other escorts as well.

What country is that?

I think that is more of the issue than the actual transaction. Falling for more than 1 guy at a time can be a bit much.

Absolutely not. I beg to differ. And as an update: he did make due on his end after I reasserted that THERE WAS an expectation to get paid for the session. He told me he wanted to go with X amount and was going to send the deposit, and I would be meeting him in the city location he was at. That never happened. He psyched me up all afternoon and then ghosted me over the weekend, until I reached back out to him and find out what happened. By that time he was, “already home”. So then: why the F*CK did you make like we were going to be meeting? Complete waste of my time! the communication I posted was only a snippet…it wasn’t everything. There was some other stuff leading up to that, which included some explicit questions. I will admit: I have been that flake “client” (not technically but figuratively) this past weekend. I had agreed to do something Saturday with someone that had been planned a month ago. I was all for it, up until the day of. I hated to cancel, but I felt I would have to “kill” myself in order to do it, so I manned up and gave the person a detailed reason as to why I could not attend. I seen him read my messages, but no response. So it’s nice to see the other end of how people would handle someone who flakes. Each time, I see they cut me off and don’t bother. The message to me always shows I guess I wasn’t that important to them anyway, and maybe God showed me a reason to flake 🤷🏾‍♂️ This is #1 irony pet peeve lol! Sometimes I joke: if I want a client today, I need to engage in something else that will be very inconvenient to break away from. That’s when I’ll get a request lol. I can literally be sitting in a hotel room free all day long, or even 2 days long: bed made, dick out, horny as a rock. Then the moment it’s time to check out, someone asks to meet. That’s why I stopped doing that and have cut down on the same day bookings without deposits. I have also made a disclaimer that I’m not always available for same day bookings, unless they really hit me up like first thing in the morning for LATER in the day. Like last night, I had this beautiful middle eastern guy hire me (I will say: it seems the clients are getting younger as I’m getting older 😆). He hit me up at like 4:30 in the morning. I was sleep but that gave me enough time to schedule him later in the evening when I arrived to his city. Hmm…well, sorta but not really. Moving to a different city can fortunately change the whole game. Often just visiting a different city, never fails to get things chugging along again. The less competition, the better in most places. And competition isn’t always in the form of other escorts, but of what the general gay scene is. 2 cities that come to mind are Milwaukee and St. Louis: Both can often go from $0 to $1,000 and back to $0 week by week. But because they are both very White and very Black…you’re either hot to some or, just another “one of them”. The dichotomy is: a force to be reckoned with. A city where I’m able to stand out without having to indirectly compete with “demographics” would be great. If Hawaii and Alaska weren’t so far out, I’d of moved there. May have to settle for Maine or Key West instead.

Well it’s the pictures of cases that seem to be causing so much alarm. We as gays are very attuned to our appearance and stigma. Sometimes not being deadly and not leaving scars doesn’t mean that you won’t be out of work, looking ill, or unable to have sex for 2-3 maybe even a whole month. However, being a sex worker still isn’t really much more of a factor than it would be for anyone else active in the MSM community. It’s not like, you’re less likely to get it if you don’t exchange money for it. And it’s not like I’m having clients round the clock either. If you take a typical single, gay, attractive, under 60 (because I know many sex parties and orgies are usually the guys in their 40s and 50s) who’s living in the city and has their face plastered on every hookup app: I can guarantee you that the amount of miscellaneous sex partners they have, would put an escort to SHAME.

Well that is true…because as I said above, it’s all about those boundaries (which I say for lack of better word). I don’t like the word boundaries in hookup situations because it sounds like a power game…which I’m not trying to do. But I say boundaries in terms of “I want to accommodate you, but I can’t simply accommodate you on YOUR terms. You have to be willing to FIND OUT what I can and can’t accommodate, and then work and adjust to that. If a dude wants to be stubborn and pigheaded and only want to do things his way, it’s not going to work. I think that’s the most annoying part of living in one of the cities I’m in regularly. So many of the clients didn’t want to give me any options, when I could see them: they didn’t want to. When they hit me up, it was always super short notice “are you available NOW” types. When I would be like, yes I can meet at such and such time, they would say it’s too late or not respond. Then I would end up having to drop them as a client. So now I had to find a new city to live because a whole city of clients couldn’t be bothered to show much consideration for my time and schedule. Which they think is, sitting around in bed waiting for them Day and night.