JB_Studio38

I been having people message, with seemingly no indication that they put any effort into reading my ad or anything before contacting. Just a bunch of vague messages. I’m trying to plan a trip ASAP so I can change the scenery from my current area. But it’s like, people are contacting not even giving the most basic details. It’s nice when a person sends a pic and a paragraph. But sometimes even that falls short because, they’re expecting something to happen on limited deadline. Like, all that info included only to learn they have to fly out the next day or something to where nothing can be coordinated in advance. What are people thinking? Am I expected to just be: Him: Hi Me: Sup Him: Available? Me: Yes Him: When Me: Now And then somehow, we just magically meet up? If they want 1 word, I’ll give them one ☝word

I was actually just there couple months ago for about 4-5 days. First time I actually worked the city, since I last visited in 2010 for a day. I was surprised, I had a great time. The first 2 days I had friends present, the other 3 days I was on my own. I stayed in the quarter and parked, even walked to/from different venues. I think the scariest part of the city were the roads (drivers and giant craters covered with nothing but a cone) and a palmetto bug that flew towards us on the balcony on bourbon St. Crime has gone up in many major cities. Kansas City has issues , St. Louis has issues, Denver has issues. I was showing some friends around in Kansas City couple weeks ago, sirens were going off everywhere, people fighting in the street. Many of the big cities are having issues. That’s part of why I almost want to just stop working big markets all together, and stick with smaller (not small, but smaller) It’s just the traffic can be much lower. I think if you just watch your surroundings, don’t get too inebriated, have a 2nd wallet when going “out” (I never go partying with my full wallet, I have spares that usually have nothing but an ID and just enough cash/credit for the night). I also don’t buy in-calls are any safer than outcalls. Hence why I ask for confirmation and screen in the first place because: most people with ill will, are more likely to come to you, versus you being able to track where they live (the Boston Craigslist killer is an example). Just have to get an idea about them ahead of time and anyone acting dodgy, keep it moving.

I think what it is: lot of providers want to be listed under the major city. Problem is, RentMen map feature is very precise, moreso than RentMasseur. The city of Los Angeles probably only covers a small square, before you end up listed under something different, like Huntington Park. Idk why, again one of the mysteries of the 2 sites. For example; in St. Louis: that is a very small area to pick from. If one moves the ad to just a few miles (like literally, one side of a city park even) to the next neighborhood, it’ll show up under a different city. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with specifying what neighborhood one is in. But seems to fare better listing under the main city.

Easier said than done. In my experience: most, except for the few extra kind clients: are not going to book a room for a provider. Why? I don’t know. But like I said elsewhere, if I was actively seeking action, I’d be willing to do BOTH. Host and travel. Both people should be willing to do both. That way if one option doesn’t work for the other, the odds (going back to that gambling thread) are in both favor. Doesn’t mean you have to necessarily be hosting/ready to travel 24/7 or in that moment, but better to be able so you’re not reliant or pressuring the other person to. That’s why I decided to ask for deposits. My hosting situation varies based on location, but for the most part it’s the same: I have to book accommodations majority of time. Which I don’t mind, booking a hotel gives me the opportunity to create my own ambience and have privacy, in addition to the possibility of hosting another booking or encounter. Assuming hotel rates are in the $60-$100 range, it shouldn’t pose an issue. My last hotel room was under 75 and it was clean, comfy, and bug free in a central suburban neighborhood. However in some cities, $150+ a night for even basic accommodations make it challenging, in which case I’ll either prefer Outcalls or will do longer sessions only. In most smaller or medium sized markets: in-calls may be most of what any can get. Many are likely married. Hard to make much if one doesn’t host, because majority also can’t host. Though I get your concerns, I think if you’re in a position to host from home, count your blessings and let it work in your favor. Gay men have to let go being dubious about having other (gay or etc.) men in their home. You’re better off in the comfort of your own, than to go to some mystery place that you have no idea about. There’s been times I’ve left the comfort of my host to visit a client, and wasn’t thrilled it because the environment or ambience was subpar. Usually doesn’t happen all the time, as many client’s place are much better than a hotel, but it’s something may come across when doing Outcalls. Back when I had a full time incall: I pretty much hosted all the time and only did Outcalls to hotels. However, people would sometimes flake or no show…which compelled me to let it go. And now, hosting is different.

My motto for anything that doesn’t have an exact cause: please go see a doctor. I had to encourage a friend in San Diego earlier this year to do the same. In fact, I was telling him: go to the nearest hospital and apply for financial assistance if you don’t have the means…this is no joke. I had a nagging cough for a few weeks (went to a doctor within 3 days, tested negative for strep and Covid), but ended up going to the emergency room one night because it got just that bad. Waiting for it to “wear off” wasn’t happening. I have asthma so, it’s not something I’d wanna delay. I can’t necessarily say the case for this person, but regardless: it could be MRSA and worth having immediate attention. If it were a cut/injury: I’d be taking time off or wrapping it with a bandage.

Right…and gambling is what I describe it if…IF one chooses to do it that way. For example, I “gambled” going to Houston with no pre-booked appointments (though I had a few contacts from previous advertising in the area…non of who were available). But normally I don’t do something as foolish and stupid as that anymore. Maybe in my 20s. But now I know better, and I would have been better off going an alternate direction but…live and learn. At least I know not to do it again. But, what I was describing was: I didn’t think “odds” accurately described the biz. You can’t even put odds on it. That’s like a bad bet on PowerBall and mega millions lol.

Hmm, well like I posted in another thread: sometimes no matter the experience, some people get to where they can’t afford it. Idk the exact validity of that. Or, with the options that are out there, lot of guys.. both free and paid, are always switching up their hookups. I see it all the time. I enjoy having regulars myself but, if it were as easy as that in all areas…few would be posted up on RM “Available now” all the time. I reached out to one provider in my area with some feedback about a client who was being a pain in the…bussy about booking: turns out he told me he only sees him about once every 3 years. Wouldn’t surprise me but, that’s a long stretch that I’d hardly consider a regular. I most recently finally come across a DECENT return client who isn’t with the drama, high maintenance requests, canceling and rescheduling multiple times in a day (true story).

Right, except where does one draw the line? I did mention it CAN be like a gamble, but I don’t feel it has to be. Of course there’s strategies to use…because nobody wants to keep putting money into ads and taking trips, in a way that isn’t going to bring about a decent return 🤷🏾‍♂️

Had a chat with someone about this the other day: There shouldn’t be this idea that we’re “gambling” and playing by odds. I feel that trivializes our work and also gives the impression that nobody can be in control of their coordination. I think once people change their views towards the biz, things will be better.

I occasionally hear some clients say they don’t like to hire guys with tattoos. I don’t necessarily feel complimented or advantageous, but I recognize that’s their preference and it’s fine by me. I personally like a tattooed man…and guys who have them catch my attention quick. I wish I had some myself, But I also think about guys like Cutler X and Adam Dexter (both Black, big dick porn stars) like myself 😜 who seemed to get plenty of ass without any… I don’t think there should be any expectation. I think it’s as much of a choice as having a beard, or driving a luxury car (and both of those tend to either be: because you desire to OR because you’re trying to promote a status). Maybe someone needs to drive a luxury car because they need the reliable power to haul luggage up steep hills, and luxury when you pull up to prestigious client’s hotels. I feel tattoos are simply a person’s personal expression, I don’t think it says anything more or less about the person. For a little while: I used to feel tattooed guys were all self-absorbed jerks, because I was meeting a lot like that at one point. But this past year: I met a really sweet and selfless guy with a tribal sleeve, another guy I’ve known for years who has a few: and he’s one of the most down to earth, selfless guys out there. Then recently met a totally selfish guy with no tattoos. So…threw that notion out the window 🪟 lol Exactly… other thing too: temporary tattoos are becoming quite popular as well. Some guys who may have tattoos might not actually be “permanent”. I experimented with some myself for awhile: but the problem is: Americans are obsessed with something being “real”. Instead of just complimenting and appreciating a design, they have to be nosy and pry more. And I personally don’t like being related to anything “fake” or not real, because nothing about me is fake. That said: a tattoo is on my bucket list: however, unless someone has a friend who is an artist that can offer them tattoo work: Ink can be expensive, and I just haven’t found a place in my life (or budget) to do that type of work. I tend to invest my money into clothes, car maintenance, jewelry, travel. Not that tattoos are less significant than those, but it’s just: those are my priorities. Plus the idea of having to nurse a wound. I know with tattoos there is a certain amount of that required. I routinely get bit, scraped, cut or jabbed by something doing my hobbies: (the other day I sliced the end of my thumb and didn’t even realize it until I felt a burning when washing my hands…and all I could think was: Hope I don’t have to give someone a massage today, even though I need the biz) 🤦🏾‍♂️

I don’t doubt what you say, because either or both could be true: but I‘ve come across impulsive people without tattoos and people of higher social background than me (including clients) with tattoos. One guy I know is a neonatal nurse for a hospital (which is basically a baby doctor). I didn’t even know he had a huge back and a few other tattoos until we started fucking 😂 They sure look delicious on you 😋

The dedicated GPS (i like Garmin) are usually always on point majority of the times, when going from town to town. It’s just when it comes to navigating countryside areas, that they seem to occasionally off track. Or sometimes on a route that isn’t favorable. I usually like to verify on Google phone map first, and then use the dedicated gps as a hands free or, especially in areas where data signal is thin: a regular gps will still work.

This. I would 💯 Mark this as the solution to this thread BUT: I don’t think women should get more credit. I think all these things are valid and should be taken into consideration. Partly why I am advocating for a revolution in the industry. Not that we have to go marching down the street, but: simple things to improve the market. Something as simple as: no selfie pics in the bathroom on profiles. It may look hot, but that’s Grindr content. Not content to sell something for. In fact, on my profiles: I have many “selfies” that don’t look like selfies, because I want to portray a professional photography look. At the same time, how can we do that if guys aren’t taking it seriously? When it comes to #2, I’m doing all of that how I can. That’s why I couldn’t rely on RentM for full info because: they could edit out certain things and/or: people skip over it and don’t read. When it comes to #4, hard to tell who’s to contribute. I’m sure it’s been that way long before I was around. In fact, I think just the simple fact of being able to hookup as gays so freely, is probably considered a payment for some. Compared to eras before of stigma, being arrested in a park, gay bashed etc.

I’m so over talks about how “strong” The economy is. Yeah people are spending again after Covid, but it’s all on themselves and small ticket items. The stuff on the news and the bubbly stuff about local restaurants booming is all smoke and mirrors. For example, there was an article about how one of the coffee shops and some other foodie businesses were doing so great here during Taylor Swift and NFL draft. Why wouldn’t they be? Everybody loves food and coffee. I didn’t make shit either of those weekends, just had 2 clients flake out. But I had a group of friends come to town for a couple days: and it was like 4 guys to a room, 2 to a bed. Why are the rates of hotels in some cities on a weekend, not affordable enough for 2 guys to share a room or have their own? They can talk about the economy all day long: But I’ve already seen a lot of specialty shops go out of business. They can interview me, and I’ll tell them the REAL truth lol.

Is he Black, White or Latino? Because before I even lived in KC, I used to rarely get any serious bookings then. There was a brief time initially in the 2010-2012 era that I was was busy to my liking here, but after that I usually found myself just getting a hotel for the night, and keeping it moving to my next destination (usually DC or someplace or the east coast). But otherwise, that would sound about right. I’m down to 1 regular in the area at the moment. But our last session got cancelled. I’m surprised he has any regulars at all. Maybe if a person is okay to host at the last minute, drop of a dime with no deposit like is common here, perhaps. But I was discussing on another forum: I tried working like that here, and it was chaos. Can’t plan anything, never know if it’s okay to start a project or accept plans, for fear you have to abandon it or turn down an appointment. Even the hookup apps work the same way: one guy was trying to come over to me ASAP. Then he said he had to cancel, but then he was on his way again. I was playing games with him the whole time too, and was like: darn I left my wallet at home: can you get the hotel instead (I was about 30 miles from home). Of course not. That’s how 99% these KC guys are. They want you to host asap, and then they flake. 🤦🏾‍♂️ The thing is: we can deserve better if we ask for better. I don’t even like to take stuff on “now” notice even if I need to because: it lets guys know it’s okay to do so again the next time around. Then they get an attitude when you can’t. And if another escort flaked on said client: I can’t see the satisfaction of not being someone’s first choice. Only time I can see it being “okay” to do stuff short notice, is if you see the escort and meet around the same time on a regular basis. Lot of the Kansas City guys would call out the blue, wanting now: but never available when I said: “I’m hosting NOW/TODAY, can you make it?” So yeah, I am just trying to make an exit unless on the off chance I get an alternative solution. On top of that, some of the escorts here are scamming just as much as the bad clients are. It’s sad. Tragic. I can’t think of a market I’ve had to endure more financial stress except perhaps Nashville, Tampa and Orlando.

Ha. And I’m also wondering why there’s so many ads in my area. There’s nothing going on here. Idk if the number of “available now” ads matters too. Fridays used to always be guaranteed bookings. Not so much around here. Then one of my supposed to be a regular got the other day 🤦🏾‍♂️ And I wasn’t gaslighting myself when I said what I said what I said in a couple other another threads. These guys can be ruthless. Am I an escort or MMF fighter? Nobody should be being mean or disrespectful on the phone. And after that: I decided to just go ahead and put my top shelf price back up to $300. Because it’s like, $25-50 difference is what? In the long run, that’s just going to get me $25-50 less than what I need.

Yeah, A4A…I just don’t know. I’m trying to hang onto it, but it doesn’t work everywhere. I think I managed to earn 2-3 clients from it when I was in Seattle last year…It still has its place. But also A4A used to be $10 a month, versus $30.

Right, talking about paying to park: those fucking bastards in ATL are ruthless. I have driven and parked in most every big city in the country, including Chicago, SF and DC, all notoriously limited places to park: I have never walked out to find my car booted on a Saturday night while parked on a city street, except in Atlanta 😆 That said, nowadays I’m the one reading the WHOLE parking sign..making sure I get it just right. Denver is also another one, might as well take a picture and pack a lunch to figure out their parking restrictions lol. DC can be a hard city to navigate though. However it always makes sense to get exact addresses. There should be no reason someone is getting hotels mixed up. I like to make sure I get the exact name, and address of the hotel. I’m not about to go dashing out, just because someone says “I’m at the Marriott airport, U avail?” Even in Kansas City, there’s 2 embassy suites off 435. But they are both in different towns. I have to get the exact address (which is often in plain view on the hotel telephone). However, some residences can be difficult to find…especially the basement type units common in DC. And then the parking can often take you way away from where you need to be. I remember earlier this year, I had a client contact me in San Diego for a 4som. It was kinda last minute, and even though I arrived in like 30 minutes, I spent 10 minutes circling trying to figure where to park. There was nowhere to. That wasn’t included with the address. Finally did find something…which took an additional 5 minutes to walk from. For me, I still use 2 GPS sometimes. The car gps is so I’m not reliant on looking at my phone, but I still use Google maps on my phone to glance at once I get closer, and to also detect any traffic backups that might be happening before I set off. The phone is also better at picking at exact addresses. Big GPS systems often only get you nearby, I find the phone to be a bit more accurate. Some client’s places don’t even show up properly on gps at all. I’ve had many times where I’ve been sent to what I thought was the address, but it was over shot by a couple blocks. that’s why many gps systems “aren’t liable” for you driving into the lake.. even though it told you to 😆 hell I’ve had twice where my gps took me thru unpaved roads, even getting stuck once because it was like sand. Most recently, I was in Louisiana and tried to take a short cut: guy jumps in front of me all aggressive, saying the street is a designated landing 🛬 strip 😯 I’m like dude, my gps said I could short cut here…but he wasn’t hearing it lol. Thought I was about to get rounded up and sent to slavery the way he came at me 😂

I feel that about Mintboys…I’m on it but, the traffic just not happening. Lots of older ads. Last I had a client there was a pretty decent one though.

Oh yeah, I am working on lining up an exodus asap. I cannot continue working the Kansas City/St. Louis/Missouri market in general, I feel like I’m having recurring mini panic attacks throughout the week….In the meantime just trying to eat and hydrate, exercise and keep myself looking and feeling healthy so it doesn’t show on the outside. I know I have to be ready for when a client does reach out. I have things to fill my time with, but going days/all day without any bookings is disappointing. July was a bit of a damper because I had like 3 different big expenses going all at once and couldn’t do anything out of town. All I could do was go hard (no pun intended) and try to work with the base I’m in: But I just feel it, it’s not where it needs to be. No matter how much I put available now, or market: I just can’t get enough out here. Then I paid for my RentMen ad Sunday and so far, only 1 new client and 1 regular this week. There are some fun clients in the area, but some are just downright vile and toxic. I’ve had at least 2-3 highly emotionally abusive regulars: they come on strong and sex was always great, but they would regularly start arguments with me in between bookings, or play mind games. Eventually I’d have to burn their bridge. Other escorts would have took them for their money and cut them way sooner. Then most all the new inquiries here are always last minute short notice, clear across town. Idk why people can’t just be like: Hey I’m going to be available xxx day, and would like to meet at xxx time. That’s part of why I can’t drop my deposit policy because, I have to do a lot of last minute running around out here. Running around costs money upfront… Just the other day, had someone contact me to come to Kansas City airport. That’s almost like DFW airport. Depending where in town, that can be an hour away. Most times when I go there, I’m planning to set aside minimum 4 hours of my day. 1 hour to get ready, 1 hour drive, 1 hour (usually longer) with client and another hour to drive back. And I’m supposed to be ready to do that on 10 minutes notice? At least call me in the morning or early afternoon, and plan it at night 🤦🏾‍♂️ When I tell him what time I could arrive: no response until the next morning, saying he fell asleep but will look me up next time. That’s why some days I feel a certain way because, I spent funds on the ad: but didn’t earn back and it’s been almost a week. But I also realize the exposure is for the future, and takes time for it to work. And as mentioned: They can’t always mitigate how a market works or the level of difficulty it is to make it work.

Hmm…not always though. I’ve said it before but, RentMen simply isn’t the King that it seems. There are some cities where I don’t get any biz from RM. Sites like A4A, here, and even RentMasseur have often times done better for me. And in small towns, forget it. Might as well get on Grindr and sell backstage, versus trying to find anything on RM. The odds are just that low. I feel any place that gets potentials and providers in a space that they can mingle, is worth using to an extent. In reality, I think Instagram is the true king…but it’s a lot going on. There’s clients who I follow and they follow me. But it’s not catered to any one subculture. Then Twitter is global and a porn pit stop. At the end of the day, seems it’s best to use as many of the platforms that’s available, to maximize connections.

Exactly, but at the end of the day: Well, not that I don’t care but…it’s a discussion forum. The advertising and sweet talk is plenty in the ads. And in person. I’ve gotten over the whole “be sweet and kind when you post here, or you’re going to ruin your business”. Well by all means, don’t bring up anything, and just let everybody make the same mistakes and not learn any input from the other side. Great. That’s not realistic.

Of course non p4p guys who are hooking up with you are putting in more effort than the guys who are paying you. Ah, no. Trust me on that. Most non paying guys out here, are putting minimum effort. It’s actually the clients who seem to be showing more effort. Part of why I’ve cut back on dating and hookup apps, is because I got tired of the low effort mentality most of those guys come to the table with. I rather meet someone at a nightclub or thru friends… You're the one trying to convince someone else to give you money. You should expect to do more of the work to make it happen because that is kind of what you are getting paid to do. Convince someone? You know how this works right? I’m not trying convince anyone, they are actively seeking and I just so happen to be offering. It’s not that kind of sales business. There’s already a need to be fulfilled. You're competing with Grindr and Sniffies. A lot of the things you want from your clients are things they are paying to avoid. If I have to deal with all the same crap I normally deal with on Sniffies and Grindr, get my own hotel room and pay some money on top of that, I'm just going to keep the money in my pocket and go back to Grindr and Sniffies. Well, maybe that’s what you need to do then 🤷🏾‍♂️ I mean…at the end of the day, hiring an escort isn’t promised to be the exact accommodations you want. We’re not Hotels.com that you can just call up on a moment’s notice and get a room. Granted: some days I can accommodate like that, but most times…I don’t get people to show up when I am. I started during a time where one could do well just doing outcalls. I did that in one city for like 2 years. I rarely ever hosted, but I was always getting calls to the best hotels, condos, and homes. Every once in awhile I would host, but it was when I wanted to stay in the city for the night. That said, the idea that we’re competing with guys from apps: It’s not as it seems. If a person wants to browse and hookup for free, they’re going to do that. If they want to find someone to pay, they’ll do that too. When I look at my clients, and then look at guys on apps (even though I’m aware some clients also use apps), there is no competition. Partly because the concept is different. Even in small towns where there’s low/no competition on apps or RM: it’s still not any easier. Either they aren’t gay, or the ones that are, generallyy don’t want to pay.

claiming they can host then demanding a hotel fee right before the apt (in one case the provider met me in the lobby of a hotel which I assumed was for his comfort Well I already addressed the above, in another thread. I do think providers should be upfront about their situation with hosting if it’s not necessarily readily available. In that case, a deposit to cover at least a portion of the room, would be better than just having the client show up and not be checked in. That’s why I do it…And I think it’s a low drama way of doing biz. Client sends deposit, I can book the room, and all is well. Versus the drama of: A) booking room before I substantiate the client is serious about an appointment, only to be told “I didn’t book an appointment”. Or B) waiting for client to show up and then meeting outside for hotel and collecting payment (which is tacky and doesn’t give me time to get my ambience situated). Everything else you mentioned, it does sound ratchet. But again, you might be picking the wrong guys or tighten up your filters. Especially when you say you “left your wallet” in someone’s hotel room. And again you say you walked out of another hotel room. And then a 3rd time you mentioned going to someone’s studio apartment. I think I know what the issue is: Maybe you need to stop going to guy’s place, and just host yourself? You wanna know something: in my personal hookup life, I learned to stop going to guy’s places for first meetups. I kept having shitty experiences too. Now, when I’m on the road or have my privacy at a hotel…I either make guys come to me, or I bring them back to my hotel. I only “travel out” for paid clients. Every once in awhile, I’ll have a couple guys that I go to their place who I can trust. But even then, there’s been guys I went to, and had to stop going because they turned disrespectful. Why am I going to waste my gas and energy visiting someone like that? I almost feel some people get off on being a dick and having guys come and go, back to back. I don’t do that shit anymore This is why I encourage clients to not RELY on the escort to host. We’re both adults. You can be ready to host just as much as I need to be expected to host. Even if you’re married. There’s hotels. Some accept cash, most will accept a re-loadable type of card. Call ahead. Perhaps wait until the escort arrives, before booking the room. If he doesn’t, you’re not at a loss. Now there’s even dayuse if you can’t stay the night. If I have to host and I’m not doing it from a place I already live in, there’s going to be a deposit.

It’s not that I don’t understand. It’s just: Jokes aside, I always say: I can’t speak on what another escort did or didn’t do. That’s not to dilute your experience by any means but, everyone has a way of doing things that suits their needs. I know I don’t disappear or change my terms. That can happen whether there’s a deposit or not.