Jamie21

Dame Vigorous Fluffing, mistress of the bell end.

Yes, a lot of restaurants automatically include a service charge as part of the bill, which is usually 10% so you don’t need to add a tip as well unless you’re being extra generous. If you’re in London in summer and you happen to visit a certain masseur...ahem...then the tip can be considerably more than 10% though. Just saying

Any amount is welcome and there’s no expectation. But even more welcome is booking again, recommendations and gifts. A client once sent me a couple of pairs of expensive sexy pants (underwear for Americans here) because he knew I liked them. That was fantastic. Another client invited me to his club which was interesting. In the UK tipping is much less prevalent than the US and is usually around 10%.

I think I’ll be strict now: If they flake on me once, I give them a second chance. If they flake twice then it’s either no more bookings or they pay full price up front. And flaking is cancelling on the day or just no showing. Cancelling the day before is ok, things happen.

You’re so right, it’s always worth reminding myself that visiting me or any other provider must be pretty daunting for someone who’s never done anything like it before. For me seeing clients is fairly routine but I guess from their perspective it’s a big thing and takes a lot of courage. It’s good to be reminded of their perspective - thanks!!

I’m a masseur. I ask my clients if they want music. It can help drown out any street noises and add to the ambience. I sometimes pace my routine by the music. When I do outcalls I take a Bluetooth speaker and have a playlist but the client can play his list if he wants. I agree with Wanderoz about no sound allowing you to synchronise breathing. I try to get my clients breathing synchronised with mine and obviously can watch their diaphragm raise and fall so silence isn’t needed. But it’s really important for connection to synchronise a slow deep breathing pattern especially at the start. Great observation by Wanderoz. I remember a lovely US client saw me at his hotel when he was visiting London. He always liked to leave the TV on with news playing. It didn’t distract me but was unusual. That’s an issue with hotel visits; noise from the corridor or other rooms. When I see female clients in hotels though it can be the opposite problem. Females can get very noisy when close to orgasm. I’ve had some knowing looks from hotel staff in the corridor when leaving my clients room because of the noise that was being made during the session. Often the client is unaware she was making loud noises. So now I try to play louder music for these sessions.

Yes I agree, I try to understand the nervous guys and to reassure them. I forget how difficult it can be making an exploration of your sexual desires. But I wish they’d only book once they’re sure!

Definitely agree with Jarrod. I never understand it. I’ll get a text asking if I’m available for a massage on x date /time. I reply quickly with details of my availability and then.....nothing. No response not even a message saying “I changed my mind”. Why do that?? I’m professional, I have a website, I take my work seriously, I prepare for clients, I make myself available, I cancel personal appointments all to accommodate a client’s request....then as happened today my client who booked yesterday messaged an hour before the time to cancel. I understand things happen, but an hour before the time? I believe in a lot of these situations the client has just changed their mind or got cold feet. It’s very disappointing. Other times I’ve had a client book a couple of weeks in advance. Lots of messages went back and forth to make the booking. Including details of what he wanted. I messaged him the day before to confirm (as I always do) and he replies by saying “oh sorry I forgot mate, I’ve got something else booked now”. So I guess had I not checked he’d have just not turned up and I’d be waiting with everything ready. Why book it if you then aren’t so interested that you even note it in your diary? Even worse, I had a request for a 4 hands with a masseuse and me. The client had specific requests which I was able to meet by contacting one of the masseuses I work with. She made arrangements for the date, so did I. It took a lot of time to schedule it and find the right masseuse. Then, the day before the client cancelled because of “issues at home”. Fortunately he did agree to pay to cover the costs my masseuse incurred (she was travelling a long way for the session) which was decent of him. But the worse thing is all the time wasted. I think there’s an attitude that sex workers time is unimportant and we can be treated with disregard. If something better comes up they choose to either cancel at short notice or just not turn up. I definitely value my clients who book and do turn up, they get great service. I’ve learned the signs that indicate whether someone is unlikely to turn up. If they book and don’t show up I’ll never book them again. If they cancel last minute without genuine reason they’ll also never get a booking again.

Yes indeed words matter. He’d send messages using words like “love” and “we are brothers”. I couldn’t respond in the same terms. Very difficult indeed to let him down without hurting his feelings.

Yes I think some might do that. I got the impression my guy wasn’t wealthy and he was younger than me. It wasn’t a retirement opportunity and to be honest I don’t think I could have kept up with him. He’d usually cum three times in a session. That’s no retirement!

I had a client fall in love with me, well I say love but I think he was just infatuated. I was the first guy he ever had sex with and I think after about 5 visits I could tell he was becoming obsessed and it wasn’t a healthy provider / client relationship. I’d get lots of messages from him saying how much I meant to him etc. It became really difficult to manage and I think I should have been a bit more blunt at the beginning to say I didn’t feel the same way but he was really nice and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I couldn’t say “look this is a transaction, I like you but I only have sex with you because you’re paying me” which is of course true but very difficult to say when someone is infatuated and reads the passionate sex for more than it is. I started to distance myself by being unavailable when he wanted to book, and not engaging much with his messages. Eventually the contact reduced and fortunately he moved abroad but I still get the occasional message. Since I started doing sex work it’s the single most difficult thing I had to deal with and I really don’t think I know how to deal with a similar situation if it happens again. We all want clients to feel attractive and desired but it’s so easy for a client who may be looking for a relationship to confuse that professional response for genuine attraction and a willingness to start a relationship.

If my client is horny it makes me horny.

Bring it on!!

I’m based in London See my website sensualtouchco.com You’ll be most welcome if you ever visit London.

All of this advice is great, especially about the high levels of professionalism required to do it properly. I’ve been doing sensual massage for 5 years now and am always learning new things about the work. However the single most important tip I would give is to treat each client as if he is the most beautiful and sexy guy in the world for the time that he is with you. Give him your total focus, pay attention to how he reacts to your touch (everyone has different areas of their body that get them going - often unusual areas, so explore them) and treat him like he’s your hottest date regardless of any attraction you may or may not have. I learned that not every client is who I’d go for if it was a dating situation but there’s always something you can find that is attractive about him. Some of the most erotic and sexy massages have been with guys I’d not normally be attracted to. You also need to decide what your limits are and stick to them. Only once did I have a client pressurise me into doing something I wasn’t happy doing and I decided after that to be really strict on what’s included and what isn’t. I do include fucking (as top) if the client wants it but I don’t charge extra for it because I say to them that it has to feel right for both of us. That way I’m not under pressure to perform if it’s the 4th client of the day for example. If they want me to bottom I do charge extra. I think it’s important to be clear in your offering what’s included (subject to any legal restrictions on what’s possible in your jurisdiction). And whilst the erotic and sexual parts of the massage are important don’t forget that you must give a great proper massage. Learn good effleurage strokes, learn head massage, have a speciality (head massage is good). Important to be a great masseur as well as able to bring a guy to climax. Doing naked sensual massage is a fantastic job, meeting new people and helping them explore their sexuality. I’m glad I’ve been able to open up new experiences for my clients.

Yes I’m aware of the risks. My preferred payment method is cash, and I always state that. However I find that many clients prefer to pay by card, so I offer that option. Or direct transfer from their bank to mine which is certainly very easy here if they use internet banking. The money is transferred instantly and I can see it on my phone. I don’t keep a large balance on my PayPal just in case I have an issue with them. My main complaint with PayPal is their rubbish customer service. I took a card payment using their card reader one time and the thing crashed so the client put their card in the reader again and this time it worked ok and payment was taken. Later in the day my client messaged to say he’d been charged twice, yet on my account I only had one payment credit. I refunded my client one payment to put him square (he’s a regular, he was fine about it) but then I was out of pocket and my money was somewhere between PayPal and my client’s credit card company. It took ages to resolve with PayPal because of having to deal with their annoying Bot customer service chat and then misinformation from humans when you eventually get to speak to someone. You don’t get that kind of problem with cash!! I told my client that next time he shouldn’t stick it in twice....and I said I’m talking about his card in my card reader not his cock in my hole...there’s no limits on how many times it goes in there ?

I take credit cards, or PayPal. Never had a problem. I mostly do sensual massage and it crosses over into escort work or probably better described as sex work in general. I’ve not had any issues with clients reversing payments but then I don’t take bookings from the type of client who might be prone to do that (although who can tell?). If someone fails to pay or reverses the payment without good reason then certain things would happen: they’d never be allowed to book again, I’d share their details with other escorts/masseurs so they are warned (we have ways of doing that..) and in extreme cases the police are involved. Escorting is legal here so no problem to inform the police of clients who do a runner. I view taking cards as legitimising the work. There’s nothing wrong about doing sex work so why should it be pushed to the margins by being cash only. If card merchants want to pretend they’re being ethical they can stop people paying for gambling sites, alcohol and tobacco with their credit card too can’t they?

Yes you probably are overthinking it. Be bold and ask for what you want when you book and again at the start of the session. Explain how you want to feel as well as what you want to happen if you’re struggling with scenarios. It’s then easier for the escort to come up with ideas (because they’ll usually have more experience than you) about activities to help you get into that feeling. Don’t worry about making the escort like “a piece of meat”; that’s the job and no decent escort will be worried about being considered essentially a fuck toy. If you want to create the scenario where you treat them like that ask for it and they’ll be that for you. Whereas if you’d like them to be your loving boyfriend for the session that’s possible too. I’ve been both in the same session before for a client who liked the switch of vibe after a certain point. An escort is there to fulfill your desire and make your wishes into reality. If it’s something they’re not comfortable doing they’ll tell you when you’re discussing the booking.

Actually you’re right there with putting a non explicit photo of yourself on a profile (or sending it) because I appreciate clients who send a face pic if they’re comfortable with that. I share mine with them if they ask. It humanises things. So that’s the exception...I’ll happily accept a face pic but not a cock close up, a pic of their hole or a nude because those are just not necessary. Some escorts do want to see them but as I said previously, those guys are doing the work more for their own sexual gratification than to please their clients so the service you’ll get will reflect that motivation.

Well put. I totally agree. In fact I strongly prefer not to see pics before I meet a new client. What they look like is immaterial to my service and doesn’t affect how I am with them when we meet. I do enjoy the surprise of seeing what they look like when they turn up...the person I imagine is often quite different from the person who arrives. It’s fun and exciting to guess what they might be like. I agree it tends to be clients inexperienced at hiring a sex worker who send pics. Maybe they do think they’ll get it free if they’re hot. But I think it’s more often that they’ve got insecurities about their body and so want some affirmation that they’re ok. That’s understandable, and of course they get that positive feedback. But guys; you’re hiring someone for sexual services, they’re a professional, if they’re a good sex worker you’ll never know if they weren’t attracted to you.

Yes of course...there’s plenty of excerpts on my Twitter @massageforhim

I’m hung, I never realised it when I was younger and hadn’t had much experience because I compared myself with guys I saw in porn, and my cock seemed similar to theirs or even a bit bigger. Then when I started to become more experienced with guys I realised my cock was much larger than most and that guys liked playing with it. I think it’s true that guys (and females) do favour a big cock but it’s definitely important that the guy knows how to use it and isn’t arrogant with it. The biggest sexual organ is the brain and someone with a big cock but who is stupid or ignorant definitely won’t be a good sex partner. Being hung has helped me in my porn work and as a sensual masseur. It’s definitely an attraction for my clients. But I realise you can’t just rely on being hung, you need to be good at sex too.

If you like massage movies and are ok with subscribing...my justforfans has over 100 videos showing massage building up to fucking and happy endings. https://justfor.fans/MassageForHim There’s previews on the Twitter @massageforhim. Thank you Jamie x

It’s a pity. I’ve got a few regular US based clients who visit me when they are in London. None have been able to travel in the past year. I really hope this pandemic ends soon!

I’m a masseur (and I’ve done some escorting). Your approach is excellent. It’s exactly what a masseur would prefer to hear. It shows you’ve read their bio, you’ve made your decision and you provide all the information the masseur needs to confirm the booking. I like requests such as yours. If I get requests that start “hi” or “how much do you charge?” or worst of all...a dick pic, then I’m almost certain they’ll never book. Those are red flags. They just ask lots of questions or want to engage in sex chat. You quickly get used to who the time wasters are.