Jamie21

Yes PrEP is self protection. If a client asks me to fuck them bb then I find myself asking them if they’re on prep for their own protection. I notice some younger clients ask for bb but they’re not on PrEP, which is surprising. I wonder why anyone would risk that. I know my status is negative (I test very regularly) but why would they just rely on me saying I’m negative? I wouldn’t rely on that, which is why I take PrEP (and obviously because of my work). I counsel them to take care of themselves and go and find out about it. Here in the UK it is available free of charge on the NHS.

No, and quite difficult to prove. I mean I can show them my prep pills, the prescription etc but it’s still no guarantee of anything. No one has asked for proof. I’m fine to use condoms though I prefer not to.

That’s a very straight forward request to ask. I’ve been asked for similar things in the past and fulfilled them for a client. More commonly it’s for a guy to watch me have sex with his wife or partner, but I’ve also done it for single guys to watch me with another provider (both male and female) who I arrange. The client just gives me his requirements and I set it all up. I’d say the best location is a hotel which I also arrange in some instances (I know the best hotels to use). Usually the person watching is just a voyeur and won’t want to participate at any point, but not always. You’ll need to make it clear to the provider whether you want any part in the scene. Also instructions on whether the couple are to acknowledge your presence, follow your instructions or include any specific positions etc. I’m sure you’ll find a provider who knows female providers who will work with him so just find a guy you like and ask him the question. Be prepared to pay a large deposit. Something like this takes a bit of coordination (2 providers diaries to align) and financial commitment to set up and there are too many guys who simply have the fantasy but who get cold feet once the time comes (especially the “it’s a surprise for my wife” crowd 🙄). So no provider will take your request seriously until you pay at least half the cost up front. I certainly don’t entertain “wife surprise fantasists” not in the least because I’m not going to be part of any surprise for her. You’ll need therefore to demonstrate that you’re serious about it and not someone who gets off on the thought without any intention of seeing it through. Good luck with it! Interested to hear how it goes.

I don’t own a watch, I’ve never worn one. Perfection needs no adornments 😂

There’s a site you can use to check problem numbers. Here in UK there’s also a site (national ugly mugs) that helps provide resources to sex workers to protect themselves including sending out warnings about threatening clients.

Same thing happened to me. Client was in phone by his nickname on some site and I didn’t have his actual name. It went on for a few sessions so I couldn’t refer to him by name. Thankfully one time he booked he signed off the text with his name. I was so pleased I probably over used it during his session. Now I always put the right name in my phone and nickname in brackets as in “Donald (cumdump79)”. Obviously the nickname sometimes provides guidance as to their preferences 🙂

Not quite. If they cancel on me once it’s fine, things happen (illness, emergencies, travel problems etc). If it happens twice without good reason, I simply don’t take another booking from them. Never. Sometimes they forget they messed me around and they approach me again to book but I decline saying they flaked previously. Most of my clients are regular returning clients. I built up regular clients over the years because I think that’s the best way. Give a professional top quality and always fresh service and people return. There’s so many poor operators in the industry (flaky providers are more common than flaky clients) that if you’re professional and skilled you stand out. Regular clients are reliable; a trust and respect has been created. When you know the other person there’s more of an obligation. With some first time clients I guess it’s easy for them to cancel or flake because the other person (me) is ‘just someone doing sex work’ …and I do get that vibe when these type of people book. I’m usually right. It’s amazing how the patterns of the flaky clients repeat. I don’t get many of these now but I book them in anyway and give the benefit of the doubt, but with a 75% expectation they’ll cancel or no show. After some trial and error this model works well for me, other models work too depending on the market where you operate…but the fundamental and essential element of any way of working in this industry is to give a fantastic and professional service to your clients. Each one is special.

It sounds like you’re not happy with how it’s working though? Maybe I’m misreading you and that everything is fine but it doesn’t seem like it from what you say. sorry to hear it. I agree if they want to use you then they have to comply with your booking arrangements and availability. Same with me, and I work on a different model. But if you find that there’s insufficient clients willing to hire that way then perhaps the model isn’t right for the market? It’s then a decision to change the model or change the market. Since the market is difficult to change it leaves you in a quandary. The scene is flaky here too. Yesterday I had gone to the trouble of lining up another masseur for a 4 hands a client wanted. He had specific requirements about what he wanted and the type of masseur to work with me. So I booked the venue and set it all up. The client confirms and agreed the rate which included my rate for the more escort type service he wanted. Then an hour after it’s all set up he messages to say he can’t afford it. Probably looking for me to discount it. I just said “ok thanks” and cancelled the appointment. Waste of time for all of us, but nothing I can do about it except note it for future when he inevitably contacts me again… Everyone has to find the model that works for them. If yours works that’s great but I get the feeling from your posts that it doesn’t work as well as you’d like it to, and that the market needs to change to fit your model. Good luck with it but I think you’re going to find the market prevails unfortunately.

It is an issue for me, yes of course if it is because I have lost an opportunity for income. But it happens and it can’t be avoided. I guess I decline 30 to 40% of requests because I cannot do the time the client requests or they want a discount (I never discount). On top of that I get a few clients booking and then cancelling beforehand for various reasons. And occasionally a no show (which is very rare; I can recognise the signs and screen out those clients). It’s frustrating to ‘lose’ so much business but because of my commitments (other work etc) then I can’t be available 24/7. I’m very flexible with my time so if clients book a day or so in advance I can usually accommodate them but lots of people want to book last minute and unfortunately that is challenging for me.

It does, but as the client is paying then it’s their prerogative to choose the time and manner of booking that suits them primarily, not you. I don’t think you can legitimately complain that clients aren’t booking far enough in advance or at suitable times to fit your travel schedule. Ok so if that means they miss out on you it’s tough (on them as well as you) but I do think it’s necessary to adapt yourself to the market… even if the market seems unfair or wrong.

If a client cancels on me last minute it’s my problem. I don’t expect compensation for it and I don’t take deposits (too much of a disincentive to book). If you’re offering compensation as a courtesy that’s fine (and good of you) but if an escort or masseur cancels on you last minute then they wouldn’t offer compensation except perhaps for an alternative time or a discount on a future booking if they want to retain your goodwill.

I don’t agree. They’re the client…they choose the time that works for them. If I’m free then fine..it gets booked. If I’m busy then sorry I can’t do it and we all move on. If they mess around a lot with scheduling it’s always my option to simply decline to engage or block them, which I do occasionally. This is a customer service business. I’m not expecting my customers to consider what else I’m doing or whether my plans get messed up etc. They want to see me at a certain time so it’s then over to me to decide yes or no. It’s as simple as that. What else is happening in my life / schedule is my issue not theirs. I don’t travel to other cities, all my business is in London. That makes logistics simpler. I think if I travelled it would make things too complicated but still it would be my choice to operate like that and so my issue to deal with the complications.

Yes I agree. That’s why for me the invitation I’ll accept is when it’s an adjunct to the massage, usually immediately afterwards. If a client invites me for a social event like dinner but it’s not after their massage then I’d decline because I agree with @Mrprofessionalthat the situation becomes too difficult.

I’ve a few regular clients who ask me for dinner or drinks after a session (these sessions are full service, massage and sex) and I have accepted the offer, which I should add is not ‘on the clock’. It’s a pleasant thing to do and I’m flattered to be asked. One time a client took me for lunch to his club at Annabels in Berkeley Square (after a morning session) but equally it can be just a coffee and cake in a coffee shop. Last week I saw a client at his home and stayed afterwards for some tea and a slice of his home made cake. The cake was moist and sweet…I told him it was just as tasty as his bum had been earlier. So I had some more (cake, not bum). Although I wouldn’t assume to speak for others I suspect most masseurs will appreciate being invited to eat or drink with their client as long as it’s an adjunct to a session and they have time to spare. Getting to know the client helps make them more comfortable during the massage and I think enhances the experience (both the massage element and the intimacy element).

I think it’s bad form to do that. Once a time and date is settled and agreed I try my best to stick to it and will very rarely ask to alter it. I cancelled a client a month ago because I’d double booked myself by mistake (caused by confusion over time zones) but would never cancel or reschedule because the time no longer suited me. I think sometimes what happens is the escort has a better offer or is trying to squeeze in an additional client or activity, so he tries to reschedule to make it all work. It isn’t very professional to do that and I think would annoy clients so I don’t do it unless it’s essential. Once an agreement is made then it’s not going to change unless I’m sick. Unfortunately on the other side you do get clients who book but then cancel last minute or even fail to show. Today I had a client booked for a certain time during the day but he asked to bring it forward by half hour. I was free so I agreed. No problem. It works both ways…people get delayed or sick so I’m always willing to take these things into consideration.

I’m happy to shower with clients, preferably before the massage as a kind of starter. The shower at my massage studio is kind of small though so it’s not conducive to two bodies in there, it can be done but isn’t ideal. If I’m doing an outcall at the client’s house or hotel then a pre and post massage shower is fine. Some clients like me towelling them dry before getting on the table and that can lead to some ‘fluffing’ of their equipment so to speak 🙂

And then complain when you don’t like the answer 🙄

Yes I think he missed that. I’m a provider, I describe myself as a sensual masseur, but if my client wants it then I’ll go much further than a sensual masseur usually would I guess. My rates aren’t cheap though.

Tending to plants must be a very satisfying thing to do. At the start of the pandemic (sorry to mention it) I began to grow my own food. It was one of those things that in a moment of utter crisis one does to retain some semblance of control. You know… ‘there’s going to be no food in shops so I’ll grow my own’ and cue visions of sweet red tomatoes, big potatoes being dug out of the fertile soil and cucumbers the size of my largest dildos. That sort of thing. The reality? 6 months later…small green tomatoes, fewer potatoes than were used to actually grow them and a cucumber that certainly wouldn’t satisfy either end of me. So my dreams of self sufficiency died and the supermarket still delivers food. I agree with @Shawn Monroe that the gym is an essential. I don’t feel right unless I’ve worked out. Weights, run, swim, yoga. These things sustain me both physically and mentally. There’s no set time for it though, as you might expect from me.

Thank you! I’ve lots of stories to tell 🙂

I realise with clients I have to be on time, so I really try hard with that. Also where I do most of my massages I have the space for the time booked (plus around 15 mins either end) so I do have to be careful to start and finish on time especially if another masseur has the space booked afterwards. If I’m seeing a client on an outcall at their hotel or apartment then I usually turn up on time (max 10 minutes late) but I’m flexible about when I leave (if they’re ok with that) so it always goes on longer than planned, sometimes by over an hour because I lose track of time especially if there’s no clock visible. I don’t wear a watch, never owned one. I remember one time I’d been booked to meet a client and another provider at the client’s hotel. It was about an hour drive away. The plan was that the other escort (who I knew) would start with him first and then I’d join them for the second half of the session. The client wanted a one on one session and then a 3some as part two. Fine, so it was planned for me to join them a couple of hours after they started. At the right time I set off from home and feeling very happy with myself I arrived at the hotel exactly to the minute at the right time (no waste by being early 🙂). I had the room number so I went to the door and knocked. Assuming they’d be on the mid session break and ready for me. I could hear some scrambling going on as bodies moved quickly and then the door opened slightly and my escort friend appeared around it, I assume naked as he didn’t open the door far. “Jamie… er you’re early??” he said. “Oh am I? I’m right on time, it’s 2pm we said didn’t we?” I replied. “Yes 2….and it’s only 1pm now” he said “we’re not ready for you….can you wait a bit?”. “Oh sorry….er..yes, no problem, I’ll be downstairs, text when you’re ready” I replied. In my anxiety to not be late or waste time on a longish journey I’d misread the time on my phone, and in my car. I simply hadn’t noticed the hour being wrong and I was indeed a whole hour early for the session. I waited downstairs in the hotel bar while they finished part one. When they were ready (at 2pm) my escort friend texted me to come up. The client thought it was funny I’d been early and had to wait so it was fine. A good session was had and I guess at least I wasn’t an hour late. I still have trouble understanding time though. It wasn’t until secondary school (aged 11 or 12) that I could read a clock face and on that occasion obviously I had trouble even with a digital clock! @keroscenefire With difficulty! As you can see above…is the answer to your question about how I manage in a ‘through-time’ world. I set alarms on my phone and am very careful with checking times for bookings. But being ‘in-time’ is an advantage in many ways because you’re always really present in the moment. I’m always open to explore (there being no agenda or timeline to keep to) and I discover things serendipitously by just being curious and having the inclination to wander off without any plan and see where I end up.

I think this difference in expectations around how people respond to questions about time recording and usage is interesting because I’d say many people working in the sex industry have a flexible approach to time (the work lends itself to that). I’m an ‘in time’ person, which means that for me time is a flexible concept. When I’m doing something then I can easily lose track of time because I’m focused on the thing at that time. I struggle to estimate how long things take (example…I know from experience my usual journey to a regular destination takes about an hour and that there’s usually traffic but in my head the journey without traffic should be 45 minutes….so I ALWAYS expect it to be 45 minutes and I am ALWAYS surprised by the traffic). I hate being early because it’s a waste of time, and if society was more accepting of lateness I’d say that ‘within half hour of the agreed time’ counts as on time for me. Others being late doesn’t offend me as much as it appears to do for some people. So I don’t count time, I don’t measure how much time I spend on things and I don’t differentiate between work time and non work time. Sometimes I’m doing what is called paid work at 3am in the morning (usually that’s sex work of course but it could equally be my other work) and sometimes I’m doing recreational stuff at 3am. I do stuff when it feels right for me not because the clock says it’s time. It just depends how I feel …because as I said, time for me is an entirely flexible concept only tempered by societal restrictions which force me to be on time for some things (like client bookings!) and to sleep at night (sleeping up to midday is great!). For someone who is ‘through time’ then usually they’re thinking about their carefully planned schedule. They focus on the ‘next thing’ rather than what they’re doing now. They’re never late, they compartmentalise time and are extremely good at measuring it. Anything that comes out of the blue to mess up their agenda causes all sorts of anxiety as they try to adjust and get back in control. I’d say (and it’s a big generalisation but …too bad!!) that doing sex work is difficult if you’re a ‘through time’ type of person. The job calls for flexibility, the ability to be present in the moment and to be relaxed about an ever changing schedule. That environment would drive a ‘through time’ person crazy. As I said these are extremes on a linear scale, people can be a bit of both but generally you can see who falls into which camp. Both have advantages and disadvantages.

Some days it seems like all I do is reschedule my calendar…. Other days I might have a client or two. Sometimes weeks go by, sometimes there’s one every day. It’s all so random. Like most people my time goes on mundane stuff such as trying to remember website passwords, opening impenetrable packaging, pairing up socks that have lost their partner and scrolling Twitter to make myself feel unhappy or inadequate.

You can, although that adds time. I’d probably look the other sex worker up and see what kind of stuff they did but I wouldn’t go so far as meeting them unless the client was paying for that time too, which seems extremely unlikely. Consider that I could be doing alternative paid work instead of meeting another provider to see if we’re compatible for a client’s group session…. The other thing is that whilst I love group sex and attend parties ‘off the clock’ I prefer seeing clients on my own or just with sex workers that I’ve worked with previously. I guess it’s because at the parties I can decide whether or not to do anything but if it’s a paid gig then I’m feeling obliged to engage with anyone and everyone. Plus I’m not ‘at work’ so I can relax more.

Yes. Although I know lots of other providers and we collaborate and share info. Some are friends, some acquaintances, some just contacts. I’ve found that all are happy and willing to provide advice and help.