Jamie21

It is an issue for me, yes of course if it is because I have lost an opportunity for income. But it happens and it can’t be avoided. I guess I decline 30 to 40% of requests because I cannot do the time the client requests or they want a discount (I never discount). On top of that I get a few clients booking and then cancelling beforehand for various reasons. And occasionally a no show (which is very rare; I can recognise the signs and screen out those clients). It’s frustrating to ‘lose’ so much business but because of my commitments (other work etc) then I can’t be available 24/7. I’m very flexible with my time so if clients book a day or so in advance I can usually accommodate them but lots of people want to book last minute and unfortunately that is challenging for me.

It does, but as the client is paying then it’s their prerogative to choose the time and manner of booking that suits them primarily, not you. I don’t think you can legitimately complain that clients aren’t booking far enough in advance or at suitable times to fit your travel schedule. Ok so if that means they miss out on you it’s tough (on them as well as you) but I do think it’s necessary to adapt yourself to the market… even if the market seems unfair or wrong.

If a client cancels on me last minute it’s my problem. I don’t expect compensation for it and I don’t take deposits (too much of a disincentive to book). If you’re offering compensation as a courtesy that’s fine (and good of you) but if an escort or masseur cancels on you last minute then they wouldn’t offer compensation except perhaps for an alternative time or a discount on a future booking if they want to retain your goodwill.

I don’t agree. They’re the client…they choose the time that works for them. If I’m free then fine..it gets booked. If I’m busy then sorry I can’t do it and we all move on. If they mess around a lot with scheduling it’s always my option to simply decline to engage or block them, which I do occasionally. This is a customer service business. I’m not expecting my customers to consider what else I’m doing or whether my plans get messed up etc. They want to see me at a certain time so it’s then over to me to decide yes or no. It’s as simple as that. What else is happening in my life / schedule is my issue not theirs. I don’t travel to other cities, all my business is in London. That makes logistics simpler. I think if I travelled it would make things too complicated but still it would be my choice to operate like that and so my issue to deal with the complications.

Yes I agree. That’s why for me the invitation I’ll accept is when it’s an adjunct to the massage, usually immediately afterwards. If a client invites me for a social event like dinner but it’s not after their massage then I’d decline because I agree with @Mrprofessionalthat the situation becomes too difficult.

I’ve a few regular clients who ask me for dinner or drinks after a session (these sessions are full service, massage and sex) and I have accepted the offer, which I should add is not ‘on the clock’. It’s a pleasant thing to do and I’m flattered to be asked. One time a client took me for lunch to his club at Annabels in Berkeley Square (after a morning session) but equally it can be just a coffee and cake in a coffee shop. Last week I saw a client at his home and stayed afterwards for some tea and a slice of his home made cake. The cake was moist and sweet…I told him it was just as tasty as his bum had been earlier. So I had some more (cake, not bum). Although I wouldn’t assume to speak for others I suspect most masseurs will appreciate being invited to eat or drink with their client as long as it’s an adjunct to a session and they have time to spare. Getting to know the client helps make them more comfortable during the massage and I think enhances the experience (both the massage element and the intimacy element).

I think it’s bad form to do that. Once a time and date is settled and agreed I try my best to stick to it and will very rarely ask to alter it. I cancelled a client a month ago because I’d double booked myself by mistake (caused by confusion over time zones) but would never cancel or reschedule because the time no longer suited me. I think sometimes what happens is the escort has a better offer or is trying to squeeze in an additional client or activity, so he tries to reschedule to make it all work. It isn’t very professional to do that and I think would annoy clients so I don’t do it unless it’s essential. Once an agreement is made then it’s not going to change unless I’m sick. Unfortunately on the other side you do get clients who book but then cancel last minute or even fail to show. Today I had a client booked for a certain time during the day but he asked to bring it forward by half hour. I was free so I agreed. No problem. It works both ways…people get delayed or sick so I’m always willing to take these things into consideration.

I’m happy to shower with clients, preferably before the massage as a kind of starter. The shower at my massage studio is kind of small though so it’s not conducive to two bodies in there, it can be done but isn’t ideal. If I’m doing an outcall at the client’s house or hotel then a pre and post massage shower is fine. Some clients like me towelling them dry before getting on the table and that can lead to some ‘fluffing’ of their equipment so to speak 🙂

And then complain when you don’t like the answer 🙄

Yes I think he missed that. I’m a provider, I describe myself as a sensual masseur, but if my client wants it then I’ll go much further than a sensual masseur usually would I guess. My rates aren’t cheap though.

Tending to plants must be a very satisfying thing to do. At the start of the pandemic (sorry to mention it) I began to grow my own food. It was one of those things that in a moment of utter crisis one does to retain some semblance of control. You know… ‘there’s going to be no food in shops so I’ll grow my own’ and cue visions of sweet red tomatoes, big potatoes being dug out of the fertile soil and cucumbers the size of my largest dildos. That sort of thing. The reality? 6 months later…small green tomatoes, fewer potatoes than were used to actually grow them and a cucumber that certainly wouldn’t satisfy either end of me. So my dreams of self sufficiency died and the supermarket still delivers food. I agree with @Shawn Monroe that the gym is an essential. I don’t feel right unless I’ve worked out. Weights, run, swim, yoga. These things sustain me both physically and mentally. There’s no set time for it though, as you might expect from me.

Thank you! I’ve lots of stories to tell 🙂

I realise with clients I have to be on time, so I really try hard with that. Also where I do most of my massages I have the space for the time booked (plus around 15 mins either end) so I do have to be careful to start and finish on time especially if another masseur has the space booked afterwards. If I’m seeing a client on an outcall at their hotel or apartment then I usually turn up on time (max 10 minutes late) but I’m flexible about when I leave (if they’re ok with that) so it always goes on longer than planned, sometimes by over an hour because I lose track of time especially if there’s no clock visible. I don’t wear a watch, never owned one. I remember one time I’d been booked to meet a client and another provider at the client’s hotel. It was about an hour drive away. The plan was that the other escort (who I knew) would start with him first and then I’d join them for the second half of the session. The client wanted a one on one session and then a 3some as part two. Fine, so it was planned for me to join them a couple of hours after they started. At the right time I set off from home and feeling very happy with myself I arrived at the hotel exactly to the minute at the right time (no waste by being early 🙂). I had the room number so I went to the door and knocked. Assuming they’d be on the mid session break and ready for me. I could hear some scrambling going on as bodies moved quickly and then the door opened slightly and my escort friend appeared around it, I assume naked as he didn’t open the door far. “Jamie… er you’re early??” he said. “Oh am I? I’m right on time, it’s 2pm we said didn’t we?” I replied. “Yes 2….and it’s only 1pm now” he said “we’re not ready for you….can you wait a bit?”. “Oh sorry….er..yes, no problem, I’ll be downstairs, text when you’re ready” I replied. In my anxiety to not be late or waste time on a longish journey I’d misread the time on my phone, and in my car. I simply hadn’t noticed the hour being wrong and I was indeed a whole hour early for the session. I waited downstairs in the hotel bar while they finished part one. When they were ready (at 2pm) my escort friend texted me to come up. The client thought it was funny I’d been early and had to wait so it was fine. A good session was had and I guess at least I wasn’t an hour late. I still have trouble understanding time though. It wasn’t until secondary school (aged 11 or 12) that I could read a clock face and on that occasion obviously I had trouble even with a digital clock! @keroscenefire With difficulty! As you can see above…is the answer to your question about how I manage in a ‘through-time’ world. I set alarms on my phone and am very careful with checking times for bookings. But being ‘in-time’ is an advantage in many ways because you’re always really present in the moment. I’m always open to explore (there being no agenda or timeline to keep to) and I discover things serendipitously by just being curious and having the inclination to wander off without any plan and see where I end up.

I think this difference in expectations around how people respond to questions about time recording and usage is interesting because I’d say many people working in the sex industry have a flexible approach to time (the work lends itself to that). I’m an ‘in time’ person, which means that for me time is a flexible concept. When I’m doing something then I can easily lose track of time because I’m focused on the thing at that time. I struggle to estimate how long things take (example…I know from experience my usual journey to a regular destination takes about an hour and that there’s usually traffic but in my head the journey without traffic should be 45 minutes….so I ALWAYS expect it to be 45 minutes and I am ALWAYS surprised by the traffic). I hate being early because it’s a waste of time, and if society was more accepting of lateness I’d say that ‘within half hour of the agreed time’ counts as on time for me. Others being late doesn’t offend me as much as it appears to do for some people. So I don’t count time, I don’t measure how much time I spend on things and I don’t differentiate between work time and non work time. Sometimes I’m doing what is called paid work at 3am in the morning (usually that’s sex work of course but it could equally be my other work) and sometimes I’m doing recreational stuff at 3am. I do stuff when it feels right for me not because the clock says it’s time. It just depends how I feel …because as I said, time for me is an entirely flexible concept only tempered by societal restrictions which force me to be on time for some things (like client bookings!) and to sleep at night (sleeping up to midday is great!). For someone who is ‘through time’ then usually they’re thinking about their carefully planned schedule. They focus on the ‘next thing’ rather than what they’re doing now. They’re never late, they compartmentalise time and are extremely good at measuring it. Anything that comes out of the blue to mess up their agenda causes all sorts of anxiety as they try to adjust and get back in control. I’d say (and it’s a big generalisation but …too bad!!) that doing sex work is difficult if you’re a ‘through time’ type of person. The job calls for flexibility, the ability to be present in the moment and to be relaxed about an ever changing schedule. That environment would drive a ‘through time’ person crazy. As I said these are extremes on a linear scale, people can be a bit of both but generally you can see who falls into which camp. Both have advantages and disadvantages.

Some days it seems like all I do is reschedule my calendar…. Other days I might have a client or two. Sometimes weeks go by, sometimes there’s one every day. It’s all so random. Like most people my time goes on mundane stuff such as trying to remember website passwords, opening impenetrable packaging, pairing up socks that have lost their partner and scrolling Twitter to make myself feel unhappy or inadequate.

You can, although that adds time. I’d probably look the other sex worker up and see what kind of stuff they did but I wouldn’t go so far as meeting them unless the client was paying for that time too, which seems extremely unlikely. Consider that I could be doing alternative paid work instead of meeting another provider to see if we’re compatible for a client’s group session…. The other thing is that whilst I love group sex and attend parties ‘off the clock’ I prefer seeing clients on my own or just with sex workers that I’ve worked with previously. I guess it’s because at the parties I can decide whether or not to do anything but if it’s a paid gig then I’m feeling obliged to engage with anyone and everyone. Plus I’m not ‘at work’ so I can relax more.

Yes. Although I know lots of other providers and we collaborate and share info. Some are friends, some acquaintances, some just contacts. I’ve found that all are happy and willing to provide advice and help.

And how are you to know? Well you seem to have answered your question…you’d know by their actions. If it turns out they really did mean the relationship has turned from a business relationship to a friends relationship then the line “I hope you consider me one of your friends” is not manipulative. It’s unfortunate you’ve had bad experiences when that has happened and I can understand your wariness.

Unless it’s genuine….

Not for me. I don’t think it makes much difference. I found making friends difficult before doing this work and it’s the same now that I do sex work. I have a small group of close friends some of whom know what I do and a couple who don’t know the full details (although they know a little). It doesn’t impact the friendship. Making new friends is always difficult for me and I guess there’s a concern over them being critical of what I do for work. But generally I’ve not found people to be disapproving of it, actually they’re usually intrigued and interested. I guess it depends on the social circles that you move in and mine generally tends to be with more liberal minded people generally anyway.

That’s a difficult one. Clients make a few visits, the sessions go well, we chat and get to know each other. Some then consider themselves ‘friends’. But I don’t, it’s work, they’re a client. I’m glad we get on well (that’s kind of the idea anyway….it’s not just sexual) but they’re definitely not a friend. Only one client of mine has become a friend and once that happened I stopped charging him and he stopped booking. Now we are friends, we do different things together as well as sexual things but he’s not a client. No money changes hands. As soon as you start to give discounts to ‘friend’ clients things become difficult. Who is a ‘friend’? What’s the criteria? What if they talk and discover one has a preferential rate? When I started doing this I was given advice by a friend who was a successful sex worker: he said to never discount. Set your rate and stick to it. Once you start discounting, for anyone, it’s a slippery slope. It’s excellent advice.

Although if you have a board, there’s probably a Remco that decides your pay rather than it being exclusively your decision. You do make my point however…I’m the boss in my situation and I decide my pay (my rate), just like you do. Therefore I don’t discount because that’s then someone else deciding my rate. I could afford to do it for less, I’m in the fortunate financial position….but why should I reduce my rate just because some people can’t or won’t pay it?

Yes I cum if they want me to. I’ve never had a client who got mad if I didn’t cum. The focus is on their climax usually, not mine.

Read my blog ‘The Z to A of sensual massage’ on my website for that! 🙂

Why hate you for that? It’s correct. I’m doing it for the money (presumably that’s why you do your job too, or do you voluntarily take a pay cut if your boss thinks you weren’t up to his expectations last week?). I set my rate and I’m not reducing it because someone can’t afford it. The market works very well (it’s almost perfect, there’s very little government regulation, no monopolies, no cartels, clear information) and providers can join it quite easily so I’d say the prices nicely reflect the supply and demand. Browse your providers and pay his rate if it’s what you want. If it’s out of your price range then you’re in the wrong shop. OK so I enjoy the work and so I hope that comes across as I do it, and I want repeat business so I make sure my clients have a great time (and that I’m easy to book and polite to deal with when doing so - that’s just plain courtesy and should work both ways), …..but ask yourself the question: would the meeting happen if you weren’t paying? Perhaps it might, perhaps it might not but we really don’t want to contemplate that too hard because it’s going to let daylight in upon magic.