Jamie21

I’m a masseur. I ask my clients if they want music. It can help drown out any street noises and add to the ambience. I sometimes pace my routine by the music.

When I do outcalls I take a Bluetooth speaker and have a playlist but the client can play his list if he wants. I agree with Wanderoz about no sound allowing you to synchronise breathing. I try to get my clients breathing synchronised with mine and obviously can watch their diaphragm raise and fall so silence isn’t needed. But it’s really important for connection to synchronise a slow deep breathing pattern especially at the start. Great observation by Wanderoz.

I remember a lovely US client saw me at his hotel when he was visiting London. He always liked to leave the TV on with news playing. It didn’t distract me but was unusual.

That’s an issue with hotel visits; noise from the corridor or other rooms. When I see female clients in hotels though it can be the opposite problem. Females can get very noisy when close to orgasm. I’ve had some knowing looks from hotel staff in the corridor when leaving my clients room because of the noise that was being made during the session. Often the client is unaware she was making loud noises. So now I try to play louder music for these sessions.

I think people are wildly inconsiderate. I also think it’s really challenging for some people to hire and their nerves get the best of them.

Yes I agree, I try to understand the nervous guys and to reassure them. I forget how difficult it can be making an exploration of your sexual desires. But I wish they’d only book once they’re sure!

Definitely agree with Jarrod. I never understand it. I’ll get a text asking if I’m available for a massage on x date /time. I reply quickly with details of my availability and then.....nothing. No response not even a message saying “I changed my mind”. Why do that??

I’m professional, I have a website, I take my work seriously, I prepare for clients, I make myself available, I cancel personal appointments all to accommodate a client’s request....then as happened today my client who booked yesterday messaged an hour before the time to cancel.

I understand things happen, but an hour before the time? I believe in a lot of these situations the client has just changed their mind or got cold feet. It’s very disappointing.

Other times I’ve had a client book a couple of weeks in advance. Lots of messages went back and forth to make the booking. Including details of what he wanted. I messaged him the day before to confirm (as I always do) and he replies by saying “oh sorry I forgot mate, I’ve got something else booked now”. So I guess had I not checked he’d have just not turned up and I’d be waiting with everything ready. Why book it if you then aren’t so interested that you even note it in your diary?

Even worse, I had a request for a 4 hands with a masseuse and me. The client had specific requests which I was able to meet by contacting one of the masseuses I work with. She made arrangements for the date, so did I. It took a lot of time to schedule it and find the right masseuse. Then, the day before the client cancelled because of “issues at home”. Fortunately he did agree to pay to cover the costs my masseuse incurred (she was travelling a long way for the session) which was decent of him. But the worse thing is all the time wasted.

I think there’s an attitude that sex workers time is unimportant and we can be treated with disregard. If something better comes up they choose to either cancel at short notice or just not turn up. I definitely value my clients who book and do turn up, they get great service. I’ve learned the signs that indicate whether someone is unlikely to turn up. If they book and don’t show up I’ll never book them again. If they cancel last minute without genuine reason they’ll also never get a booking again.

I agree words matter... especially when texting! I learned that skill from dating guys who wanted something more from me but I didn’t want more than friendship.

Yes indeed words matter. He’d send messages using words like “love” and “we are brothers”. I couldn’t respond in the same terms. Very difficult indeed to let him down without hurting his feelings.

I understand why you acted like that and I'm sure you instinct has kept you out of trouble. Some escorts might consider someone with that interest as a potential retirement.

 

I'm sure many young and handsome men hire for different reasons but according to some of the stories I've been told guys who want a special kind of deal with escorts usually punch waaaaaay above their weight.

Yes I think some might do that. I got the impression my guy wasn’t wealthy and he was younger than me. It wasn’t a retirement opportunity and to be honest I don’t think I could have kept up with him. He’d usually cum three times in a session. That’s no retirement!

I had a client fall in love with me, well I say love but I think he was just infatuated. I was the first guy he ever had sex with and I think after about 5 visits I could tell he was becoming obsessed and it wasn’t a healthy provider / client relationship.

I’d get lots of messages from him saying how much I meant to him etc. It became really difficult to manage and I think I should have been a bit more blunt at the beginning to say I didn’t feel the same way but he was really nice and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I couldn’t say “look this is a transaction, I like you but I only have sex with you because you’re paying me” which is of course true but very difficult to say when someone is infatuated and reads the passionate sex for more than it is.

I started to distance myself by being unavailable when he wanted to book, and not engaging much with his messages. Eventually the contact reduced and fortunately he moved abroad but I still get the occasional message.

Since I started doing sex work it’s the single most difficult thing I had to deal with and I really don’t think I know how to deal with a similar situation if it happens again. We all want clients to feel attractive and desired but it’s so easy for a client who may be looking for a relationship to confuse that professional response for genuine attraction and a willingness to start a relationship.

If my client is horny it makes me horny.

@Jamie21 is going to have a king line of men when we get to travel to London again.

Bring it on!!

I'm not sure where you are located, but if you were near me, I would definitely be coming to see you!

I’m based in London

See my website sensualtouchco.com

You’ll be most welcome if you ever visit London.

All of this advice is great, especially about the high levels of professionalism required to do it properly. I’ve been doing sensual massage for 5 years now and am always learning new things about the work.

However the single most important tip I would give is to treat each client as if he is the most beautiful and sexy guy in the world for the time that he is with you. Give him your total focus, pay attention to how he reacts to your touch (everyone has different areas of their body that get them going - often unusual areas, so explore them) and treat him like he’s your hottest date regardless of any attraction you may or may not have. I learned that not every client is who I’d go for if it was a dating situation but there’s always something you can find that is attractive about him. Some of the most erotic and sexy massages have been with guys I’d not normally be attracted to.

You also need to decide what your limits are and stick to them. Only once did I have a client pressurise me into doing something I wasn’t happy doing and I decided after that to be really strict on what’s included and what isn’t. I do include fucking (as top) if the client wants it but I don’t charge extra for it because I say to them that it has to feel right for both of us. That way I’m not under pressure to perform if it’s the 4th client of the day for example. If they want me to bottom I do charge extra. I think it’s important to be clear in your offering what’s included (subject to any legal restrictions on what’s possible in your jurisdiction). And whilst the erotic and sexual parts of the massage are important don’t forget that you must give a great proper massage. Learn good effleurage strokes, learn head massage, have a speciality (head massage is good). Important to be a great masseur as well as able to bring a guy to climax.

Doing naked sensual massage is a fantastic job, meeting new people and helping them explore their sexuality. I’m glad I’ve been able to open up new experiences for my clients.

Yes I’m aware of the risks. My preferred payment method is cash, and I always state that. However I find that many clients prefer to pay by card, so I offer that option. Or direct transfer from their bank to mine which is certainly very easy here if they use internet banking. The money is transferred instantly and I can see it on my phone.

I don’t keep a large balance on my PayPal just in case I have an issue with them. My main complaint with PayPal is their rubbish customer service. I took a card payment using their card reader one time and the thing crashed so the client put their card in the reader again and this time it worked ok and payment was taken. Later in the day my client messaged to say he’d been charged twice, yet on my account I only had one payment credit. I refunded my client one payment to put him square (he’s a regular, he was fine about it) but then I was out of pocket and my money was somewhere between PayPal and my client’s credit card company. It took ages to resolve with PayPal because of having to deal with their annoying Bot customer service chat and then misinformation from humans when you eventually get to speak to someone.

You don’t get that kind of problem with cash!!

I told my client that next time he shouldn’t stick it in twice....and I said I’m talking about his card in my card reader not his cock in my hole...there’s no limits on how many times it goes in there ?

I take credit cards, or PayPal. Never had a problem. I mostly do sensual massage and it crosses over into escort work or probably better described as sex work in general. I’ve not had any issues with clients reversing payments but then I don’t take bookings from the type of client who might be prone to do that (although who can tell?).

If someone fails to pay or reverses the payment without good reason then certain things would happen: they’d never be allowed to book again, I’d share their details with other escorts/masseurs so they are warned (we have ways of doing that..) and in extreme cases the police are involved. Escorting is legal here so no problem to inform the police of clients who do a runner.

I view taking cards as legitimising the work. There’s nothing wrong about doing sex work so why should it be pushed to the margins by being cash only. If card merchants want to pretend they’re being ethical they can stop people paying for gambling sites, alcohol and tobacco with their credit card too can’t they?

Yes you probably are overthinking it. Be bold and ask for what you want when you book and again at the start of the session. Explain how you want to feel as well as what you want to happen if you’re struggling with scenarios. It’s then easier for the escort to come up with ideas (because they’ll usually have more experience than you) about activities to help you get into that feeling.

Don’t worry about making the escort like “a piece of meat”; that’s the job and no decent escort will be worried about being considered essentially a fuck toy. If you want to create the scenario where you treat them like that ask for it and they’ll be that for you. Whereas if you’d like them to be your loving boyfriend for the session that’s possible too. I’ve been both in the same session before for a client who liked the switch of vibe after a certain point. An escort is there to fulfill your desire and make your wishes into reality. If it’s something they’re not comfortable doing they’ll tell you when you’re discussing the booking.

I don't send photos but I do have an RM account with one non-explicit photo. I do almost invariably make my first approach using the RM chat function, but I don't ask anyone to view my profile, and some I've hired didn't look. At an intellectual level, I know that the ground rules are, or should be as you and @HoleTrainer set out, but from reading these forums it seems that it's not unknown for escorts to operate differently, so I err on the side of telling a prospective hire more rather than less about myself.

Actually you’re right there with putting a non explicit photo of yourself on a profile (or sending it) because I appreciate clients who send a face pic if they’re comfortable with that. I share mine with them if they ask. It humanises things. So that’s the exception...I’ll happily accept a face pic but not a cock close up, a pic of their hole or a nude because those are just not necessary.

Some escorts do want to see them but as I said previously, those guys are doing the work more for their own sexual gratification than to please their clients so the service you’ll get will reflect that motivation.

I don't care what my clients look like, so when someone sends me pics, I assume that they lack an understanding of the nature of our service relationship. Sometimes this is simply due to being blinded by insecurity and needing to feel assured that they won't experience rejection for their body upon arrival. This is understandable. I don't therefore, simply write everyone off who sends me photos as a time waster. However, many inquiries begin with a confident showoffy photo that is offered as a sort of 'bargaining chip', almost, as mentioned above, like the person messaging me is trying to flirt with me and putting his physical appearance forward as the first indicator of what he has to offer. Again this feels like someone misunderstanding the fundamental nature of our service relationship. I can't pay my bills with your good looks. And although I enjoy my work immensely, that is ultimately what I am making my service publicly available in order to do- pay the bills, save for my future- not to meet attractive men. I tend to see the sending of pics in this type of vibe/context as a clear sign that someone is not a good match for me and usually don't engage much further or try to redirect someone into booking an appointment, which generally kills the inquiry since that's not what they actually want.

Well put. I totally agree. In fact I strongly prefer not to see pics before I meet a new client. What they look like is immaterial to my service and doesn’t affect how I am with them when we meet.

I do enjoy the surprise of seeing what they look like when they turn up...the person I imagine is often quite different from the person who arrives. It’s fun and exciting to guess what they might be like.

I agree it tends to be clients inexperienced at hiring a sex worker who send pics. Maybe they do think they’ll get it free if they’re hot. But I think it’s more often that they’ve got insecurities about their body and so want some affirmation that they’re ok. That’s understandable, and of course they get that positive feedback. But guys; you’re hiring someone for sexual services, they’re a professional, if they’re a good sex worker you’ll never know if they weren’t attracted to you.

Thank you @Jamie21 perhaps you could share with your friends here a couple of your videos

Thank you @Jamie21 perhaps you could share with your friends here a couple of your videos

Yes of course...there’s plenty of excerpts on my Twitter @massageforhim

I’m hung, I never realised it when I was younger and hadn’t had much experience because I compared myself with guys I saw in porn, and my cock seemed similar to theirs or even a bit bigger.

Then when I started to become more experienced with guys I realised my cock was much larger than most and that guys liked playing with it.

I think it’s true that guys (and females) do favour a big cock but it’s definitely important that the guy knows how to use it and isn’t arrogant with it. The biggest sexual organ is the brain and someone with a big cock but who is stupid or ignorant definitely won’t be a good sex partner.

Being hung has helped me in my porn work and as a sensual masseur. It’s definitely an attraction for my clients. But I realise you can’t just rely on being hung, you need to be good at sex too.

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Thank you

Jamie x

ironic, a client and I were just talking about me going to London. It was on my bucket list for 2020, but of course travel was all out of whack. If the stars align and I can make it, I might be able to make the leap lol.

It’s a pity. I’ve got a few regular US based clients who visit me when they are in London. None have been able to travel in the past year. I really hope this pandemic ends soon!

I’m a masseur (and I’ve done some escorting). Your approach is excellent. It’s exactly what a masseur would prefer to hear. It shows you’ve read their bio, you’ve made your decision and you provide all the information the masseur needs to confirm the booking.

I like requests such as yours. If I get requests that start “hi” or “how much do you charge?” or worst of all...a dick pic, then I’m almost certain they’ll never book. Those are red flags. They just ask lots of questions or want to engage in sex chat. You quickly get used to who the time wasters are.

Arrival fee!! That’s a new one. I bet she charges extra to suck the other tit ?.

You sound like you’re on the same page as me. If you ever visit London and clients want a duo session let me know! I’m not as hot as you but the client will get a great service from two professional guys.

Use good quality escorts. The top guys know everything and will never ever be indiscreet.

If I turn up at a client’s place I’m dressed smartly, I’m discreet and could be viewed as your lawyer or accountant.

You said this very well! Definitely bridged that disconnect, and it makes sense. And I see it. That’s why I told one of the escorts before we met: If I take my time out to meet another escort 1 on 1, it can’t be a situation where you’re ready to rush off to the next client after 30 minutes.

 

However: I went ahead and went out on a limb to meet one of the advertisers who I mentioned in my earlier post. I’ll just say: I think the other thing that will probably be a “block” for me, is that I find some guys have ways of working that I may ethically don’t agree with (and even I have been subject of disapproval by some on the board on things).

 

That said, I’m almost feeling lucky to have not been in a worse situation the other night. The escort guy I met up with had arranged a 3 way visit for a client (he met him on Grindr, which is another way of working I don’t regularly pursue, but he uses it religiously). The client wasn’t able to afford the MSRP of having us both. But he said what he could pay, and escort agreed. Well, after the client arrived and paid us upfront...we started the action, but before we could get into the “main course”, the other escort decides that he wasn’t being paid enough, and was only going to do vanilla service.

 

At that point, the client is like...well we agreed to do that. And I’m like, hey...I’ll go ahead and continue, it’s not an issue for me even though it is less than what I’d normally do. But the guy was from Grindr. You don’t always get regular price advertising on Grindr. It’s like the Groupon of escorting. The other escort is like no, I don’t want to do all that. Then the client starts asking for the donation back, and I’m just there like...trying to mitigate the situation. Other escort isn’t budging. Client is getting angry.

 

On his way out, the client said; “you guys go fuck yourselves”. And this is at the escort’s hotel. Which is a security breach. But then come to find out, the escort didn’t even have his client’s phone number. The client also agreed to pay the rest the next day, but I’m telling the escort, how would you have gotten it if you didn’t have his phone number to begin with? I always ask every client to include name, age, and phone number. It’s just a responsible thing to ask.

 

I don’t mention this to bash the other escort, but it’s an example of the things one can run into, dealing with other guys in the biz. I felt so bad for the client, I almost wanted to run out to the client and say, “call me...I’ll meet you for no charge next time.” I was telling the escort, the “client” was from Grindr and he was already here. There’s no guarantee he would have become a regular or even paid us the rest of the funds, but it certainly guaranteed the client won’t come again. I’ve been in very few confrontational in-person situations with clients, and that was one I would have never let go down on my watch.

 

Other than that, the escort seems like a guy with a good amount of common sense and class. But we work so differently, that I almost don’t feel right about it. Like for one, he wanted to do the 3 way on a PULL OUT SOFA. I’m like, what are you doing? I would never do a session like that. Put a sheet over your bed if you must.

 

But it just goes to show, when it comes down to it...we may both have the same end game, but it doesn’t equate to being on the same page on things when it comes down to running things.

You said this very well! Definitely bridged that disconnect, and it makes sense. And I see it. That’s why I told one of the escorts before we met: If I take my time out to meet another escort 1 on 1, it can’t be a situation where you’re ready to rush off to the next client after 30 minutes.

 

However: I went ahead and went out on a limb to meet one of the advertisers who I mentioned in my earlier post. I’ll just say: I think the other thing that will probably be a “block” for me, is that I find some guys have ways of working that I may ethically don’t agree with (and even I have been subject of disapproval by some on the board on things).

 

That said, I’m almost feeling lucky to have not been in a worse situation the other night. The escort guy I met up with had arranged a 3 way visit for a client (he met him on Grindr, which is another way of working I don’t regularly pursue, but he uses it religiously). The client wasn’t able to afford the MSRP of having us both. But he said what he could pay, and escort agreed. Well, after the client arrived and paid us upfront...we started the action, but before we could get into the “main course”, the other escort decides that he wasn’t being paid enough, and was only going to do vanilla service.

 

At that point, the client is like...well we agreed to do that. And I’m like, hey...I’ll go ahead and continue, it’s not an issue for me even though it is less than what I’d normally do. But the guy was from Grindr. You don’t always get regular price advertising on Grindr. It’s like the Groupon of escorting. The other escort is like no, I don’t want to do all that. Then the client starts asking for the donation back, and I’m just there like...trying to mitigate the situation. Other escort isn’t budging. Client is getting angry.

 

On his way out, the client said; “you guys go fuck yourselves”. And this is at the escort’s hotel. Which is a security breach. But then come to find out, the escort didn’t even have his client’s phone number. The client also agreed to pay the rest the next day, but I’m telling the escort, how would you have gotten it if you didn’t have his phone number to begin with? I always ask every client to include name, age, and phone number. It’s just a responsible thing to ask.

 

I don’t mention this to bash the other escort, but it’s an example of the things one can run into, dealing with other guys in the biz. I felt so bad for the client, I almost wanted to run out to the client and say, “call me...I’ll meet you for no charge next time.” I was telling the escort, the “client” was from Grindr and he was already here. There’s no guarantee he would have become a regular or even paid us the rest of the funds, but it certainly guaranteed the client won’t come again. I’ve been in very few confrontational in-person situations with clients, and that was one I would have never let go down on my watch.

 

Other than that, the escort seems like a guy with a good amount of common sense and class. But we work so differently, that I almost don’t feel right about it. Like for one, he wanted to do the 3 way on a PULL OUT SOFA. I’m like, what are you doing? I would never do a session like that. Put a sheet over your bed if you must.

 

But it just goes to show, when it comes down to it...we may both have the same end game, but it doesn’t equate to being on the same page on things when it comes down to running things.

That story makes me smile, I’ve been in a similar situation once. There’s a few guys I know who I’d never work with again, either because their clients are from Grindr (although I’ve had a few off there before it banned me...but I learned those clients are not ideal for me.) or because they do drugs or are unprofessional (they turn up late or are scruffy.

It’s very bad to change your mind about what was agreed in the middle of the meeting. If my client had agreed to limits before the meet but then they asked for extra service during the meeting I’d be annoyed. It makes the rest of the meeting difficult if I say no and it puts me in a position where I feel compelled to agree. Your colleague should have kept to his agreement with the client. I think you handled it as best you could.

I’m very careful who I work with now, especially if the client wants me to perform with the other guy or girl because I need to know my partner will do a good job for the client. Anyway my preference is to work one on one with the client but it is interesting to observe how others run things if it’s their client I am assisting with.

I think I know what you mean. I’ve a couple of friends who escort and those meets are great, we fuck (usually filming for justforfans etc) or just for the fun of it, have coffee, chat about the work or anything and it’s great. But when I’ve got together with other guys who work in the business they’re often flaky and random with responses and arrangements similar to what you describe Jarrod.

I think that for many guys working as escorts the life is chaotic and unstructured. They don’t approach it as a business which means they don’t make plans or have schedules, everything is ad-hoc. The next client may call and so if they’ve committed themselves to something already then they’d miss the client, so everything ends up being provisional just in case a client books. The business forces this approach because of the way clients book...I’m horny I’ll book a guy to turn up in the next hour...that means escorts have to be ready at short notice a lot of the time.

I never take those 2am calls where they ask for me to be available now, but I can see how if you’re in need of the money you’d end up taking bookings like that and live a random type of schedule.

Because I’m great friends with a few escorts (and work with them too if clients book us together) then I always hope that a similar friendship can be built with new escorts I meet but I’ve no great expectations. I think you’re right. The job is difficult and it makes you quite transactional in relationships if you’re not careful.

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Cheers Jamie