Jamie21

I don’t like it much either. Couldn’t see what was wrong with the old design. Why do they change it so much? Just let it evolve slowly, don’t make wholesale changes.

It sounds like it’s intimacy you seek, and approval from other men. This need not be a sexual encounter: intimacy does not have lead to anything sexual and it’s best if that is not an obligation on you (or on the masseur). This is why I suggest a massage with a sensual masseur would be a good starting point for your exploration. Pick one of similar age, who seems to be understanding and empathetic (most are if they do this kind of work). Tell him what you’d like, with your limits clear. The session can unfold naturally and you only do what you’re comfortable with. Initially that may mean just being naked with a guy and enjoying his touch, his presence and most of all his approval. Once you’re comfortable with him you can go further in future sessions.

Lisbon? Porto? The Algarve? Do you want city activities or a resort? The sea will be cold for swimming…so maybe avoid that and do Lisbon. There’s plenty to see if you like history, great eating options, lively nightlife, Christmas markets and midnight mass. The people are friendly, it’s inexpensive and easy to travel around and it won’t be too busy with tourists. Bairro Alto is good in the nighttime, eat late and explore the area.

The few well known clients I’ve seen (a politician, a tv entertainer)- didn’t ask for one. I was invited to a party one time and sent an agreement to sign but it all seemed too shady so I declined 😂

Confidentiality agreements… could be he’s prepared to sign one rather than he requires one. High profile clients sometimes require such an agreement if you’re hired to entertain them.

Me too. Wasn’t easy for him. He’s back to his old effervescent self now, and is avoiding those nefarious types who led him down that path.

Could work but make sure they’re both ok with it before you hire, including what you want them to do together. Your experience with each separately may have been great but the dynamic changes a lot when there’s 3 or more of you. As always communication is key. If clients hire me to work with another guy (called a duo session) then they usually ask me to come up with some suggestions. There’s 5 of 6 providers I know well, have worked with and I know what they’re into. Similarly they know me so if the client wants us to focus on each during the session, as well as him, then we can do it. Some clients have seen me in films with other providers so they hire us for their session knowing that we can work together. It saves the risk of the guys they hire not working out especially given hiring 2 guys is costly. The other advantage of asking one guy for his suggestions is you can ask him to set it all up. Saves you liaising with 2 guys. What you might find with 2 guys who don’t know each other is that even though they might say they’re ok with what you want…when it comes to it in the session it doesn’t quite come off. I’d also suggest don’t book 3 guys. Not all at same time anyway. 4 is a bit awkward. If you want multiple guys hire someone to join a bit later and have him join as someone else leaves. A fresh person livens up the session after the first guy has done his thing. Your main hire can be booked for the whole session. It’s the best way for a longer session.

You sound sensible. If you’re able to do sex work and stay sane and clean of drugs etc it can set you up nicely. The trouble is it’s very difficult to keep grounded, especially if you’re young. I started at a more mature age, which has helped me keep things in perspective. The work can be exciting, well rewarded and it gives you a lot of flexibility, but there’s a dark side unless you’re careful. Had I found sex work at 19 I’m sure it would have eaten me up. A friend who started it around the same time as me found the dark side and it nearly got him. He’s younger than me and threw himself into the work, encouraged by the attention he got. He was fit, sexy etc and flew very close to the sun. He got involved with the wrong people and ended up on meth. His looks went, so did most of his money. He managed to hide what was happening to him for a long time but eventually it was unavoidable and he sought help. He gave me all his cash (not in a pea box unfortunately) to look after while he got himself back clean. Now he’s back to his former self but no longer escorts… just a bit of porn filming.

No it’s not true. That comment by the sociologist is I suspect made based on her assumptions rather than direct experience of the work.

This I agree with. You’ve got to feel comfortable with the person, it’s fundamental to being able to enjoy the session. I have a website where I write about my work (no names!) and quite a few clients have said they booked me because they read the website and got an idea about what I’m like. So I think also look to see if he has a website or other media where you can get an idea about what your potential guy is like. Social media can also give you an idea but it tends to be very curated.

Unfortunately there will always be chancers. When I get someone asking for a discount I just say no and don’t engage in any debate or negotiation because it’s very draining negotiating that on top of the other arrangements that need to be decided (like the day/time/duration/content/location details). You pay my rate or you find someone else. Got to be really strict about that.

Probably a lawyer who provides specialist legal advice alongside a blow job. In a way you still get fucked.

I don’t do therapeutic only. My massage includes therapeutic work but is sensual: my definition of sensual includes oral, rim, kiss, prostate massage etc. The client will usually reach orgasm and the massage is done naked (part way through). What actually gets included depends on what the client is comfortable with. Other masseurs might have a different definition of sensual and have different ideas about what is included, that’s why I say to ask them. Oh and I think it’s really important that it’s a great massage done well.

Can of worms…. There’s no standard definition so you should ask the guy what he includes for the rate quoted.

Thank you. I do have a relationship with a client, although it is more of a friendship and we have a lot less sex now that he’s no longer a client!! But actually I really value the friendship. Yes, I’m mostly a top for clients (if it comes to that) and generally I prefer that role. I think it’s a result of being large; guys kind of assume you’re always a top. But I like to be versatile and bottom sometimes. The thing with doing sex work is you tend to be a people pleaser…you don’t prioritise your needs.

I do that kind of session for a few guys. They’re not interested in sex as such although it sometimes happens but it isn’t the purpose of the session. The purpose is companionship, for a short time such as a few hours (I don’t do overnight or days). Has been to meals, a walk, accompany to a sauna (some guys are scared to go alone), a theatre trip. You need to check the person is compatible, even more so than in a sex focused session.

Hello @Rod Hagen! Yes I’d better explain that one ha ha. Maybe ‘ruin’ is a bit misleading. ‘Impacts in unexpected ways’ is my experience. It makes me less spontaneous with my partners (not clients) either because I’ve been busy with clients or they book last minute and I change my plans to accommodate them because it’s business and that impacts on my sex life with partners. The work is so random it makes it difficult to have a relationship. Other impacts are the expectations people have. I find they expect me to be a certain role which in ‘non work’ sex which I don’t necessarily want to do. I guess I hadn’t anticipated these things, having not thought about it deeply before starting this kind of work. There’s upsides too! Like all the practice helps 🙂

I don’t necessarily see it as a ‘they versus us’ binary power dynamic. It’s much more subtle than that. There’s a mutual dependence. Why do I do sex work? Well it’s partly for the money of course, and because I like the flexibility of it but it’s also because it meets a need for me. Not for sex (tbh it rather ruins your sex life) but it meets other needs that go beyond the need to earn an income. Things to do with identity and being desired etc. So in that sense my client has a great deal of power over me even though he’s the one hiring me.

I think it’s not them being entitled.. The request for an Uber is simply a power dynamic playing out. The bottom line? Sex is about power in its various facets. Everyone who is in any way successful in this industry understands that implicitly.

You don’t have to agree to it though! If you don’t want to pay for his Uber then don’t hire him. The reason some ask for an Uber is not necessarily entitlement, it’s usually more to test the client’s motivation. I think it works quite well if you’re unsure whether the client is genuine or not.

Sleepyboy.com in the UK.

No such thing as Midtown in London! Its City or West End. Or if you want to be less specific, Zone 1 on tube. Faster to get to those locations by tube or bike than it is to take an Uber most time of the day…

Like any job some people do the job just for the money and some do it because it’s their vocation. A client will be able to tell who’s in it just for the money and who’s in it because they genuinely enjoy the work. Why shouldn’t a provider who discovers he’s good at the work not get paid for it just like any job? If you enjoy the work you don’t see clients as ATM’s but as customers to keep happy (because that’s a big part of the job satisfaction) and as individuals to value (because that’s what being in a people business is about). The providers who see clients as ATM’s don’t last long in this business because it’s all about repeat clients.

Once had a client ask me “is it in?”….. I’m 8 inches and reasonably thick. I replied “couldn’t miss”. He was annoying anyway…always asking for a discount and last minute bookings.

This. This sums up my view to the work. Sex is a mind business. I find most bottoms are good to take it quickly, they want the load of course. Never met one who (once he was over the anxiety of taking loads) didn’t want to be bred. I find it difficult to cum in there sometimes if the bottom lacks skill so I’ll need to do some hand work to get close and then dive in so to speak. Most of the time there’s been a nice slow build up through massage and lots of erotic play which gets everyone close!