SoFlGuy

I'm frankly a bit surprised how many people who post on this forum are clearly biased against both sex workers and clients.  The assumption that escorts cannot get any other type of job is silly.  The assumption that all clients are so repulsive that escorts must dislike working is just silly.  I'm not saying that those things aren't true some of the time (though, frankly, an escort with an extremely limited sense of which clients are worthy should look for a different line of work), but these stereotypes seem straight out of some trashy movie from decades ago:  Junkies desperate for a client so they can get their next fix, and physically and personally repugnant clients whose only opportunity for sexual intimacy is by paying for it.  

I offered to look up a providers profile for someone here who was asking for help assessing it and have been receiving requests to do so for others DAILY now (some people haven't even said 'please') so I thought I would post a little 'how to assess and hire' guide and just send the link. 
Disclaimer - *none of this is fool-proof and there is always inherent risk in anything you do. You can walk outside and be struck by lightning today.  Please do not comment with 'whataboutisms' or tales of woe on this thread. I don’t care and I won’t read it. 
 
1. VPN
Use a VPN to view the rentmen site so you can read the text in the reviews. Pages of discussions of what VPN is best are on this site. I recommend Privado which is subscription based, but I use a VPN whenever I turn on my computer or phone.  There is a free site - nl.hideproxy.me that works however you must use Chrome browser on laptop. 
2. REVIEWS
Look at who has left the reviews. Check the client profiles. Did they open the account at a similar time to the provider, or have they been on rentmen for years? Have they left many reviews? Has one provider got 15 reviews but 7 are from the same person? Do they have lots of great reviews and then one bad one? Have a look at the person who left the bad reviews profile - has the person that left the bad review left lots of bad reviews for other guys too? 
Reach out and send a message to clients that have left reviews and ask some questions. Don't ask for a blow-by-blow account- just ask brief question that is relevant for you. eg. Does he have a nice place to host? Did he kiss?)  
Search the providers name here on Company of Men. If you find no threads - start a 411 thread and ask if anyone has experience. This is a GREAT way to see if a 'new' provider is actually a name changer, and just a new profile. This site is a cesspool at times, but it can also be a great resource. Help add to the resource. If you are interested, it's likely someone else is too! Please remember if someone posts a 411 thread about a guy who you don't like the look of - move on! no need to yuk on other peoples yum. 
How many reviews does this person have compared to how long they have been on the site. Keeping in mind – guys located in big cities will have more clients, reviews can only be left by premium members now, and so newer guys take a little longer to get some. Some guys only work this as a side hustle and also might not have as many reviews. 
3. PHOTOS
Have a look at when the photos were uploaded, are any recent? You can see the date added, there should be photos from at least this year. Does it look like any pics were massively photoshopped or changed?  Do they have at least 10 photos? 
If they have blurred face on their profile, are they willing to send via other means? For eg snapchat, whatsapp, facetime. If they are not willing to do this, it is a BIG RED FLAG.  
4. PNP
Does the provider list PNP? If so, what does that even mean?  My advice is to steer clear from providers, or people in general, who do hard drugs. If you like the look of the provider anyway, reach out ask 'what does PNP mean for you?' The results will vary. Some may say 'oh I like to sometimes take gummies' 'I like to do coke' 'I like to do Tina', 'I don't party but I don't mind if you do'. A good rule is: Only go with providers that do the same level of partying as you do yourself. 
OK SO YOU FINALLY CHOSE THE GUY YOU WANT TO MEET- NOW WHAT?
5. Messaging 
When reaching out - Be direct, polite and clear. Use this template - 
Hello, my name is (desired name) 
I'm in (desired city) and I would like to get together with you (Desired date and time) 
I'm interested in (incall/outcall) and doing (desired information) 
Don't message 'hi how are you?' and nothing else. While that may seem fine to message a friend or someone on a dating app, you wouldn't reach out to another service provider (hairdresser, doctor, cleaner, realtor, chef) and just wait for a reply to that. We don't have time to reply to every message that says "hey".
Please don't say 'I’m looking for fun.' 'I want to feel good.' 'I want to relax'. Its lame and it tells us nothing. Tell us exactly what you are interested in.  
If you use this template you WILL get a good response. Especially of you text it. 
 
6. READ. THE. PROFILE
It's extremely frustrating and annoying when 'clients' reach out and ask questions where the answer is clearly written on the profile. 'How tall are you?' "Do you host?' 'Are you cut or uncut' 'do you top' All of the stats, positions, likes and interests, current city + travel dates - there is a wealth of infomation on our profiles, it will save you time to have a quick read! 
Don't ever message and ask 'What are you into?'  It is not relevant and reeks of someone wanting jerk off material. For providers, it is a huge red flag when ‘clients’ message this.
 
7. Communicate what you are looking for. 
Say what you want. We are not mind readers. We have heard it ALL I assure you. 
 
8. Deposits. 
Deposits. To be or not to be - that is the question! Loathe to hear anyone else opinion on this - don't message me I literally do not care what you have to say- I'm just giving my take as I have been asked about it many times now, that doesn't mean I am asking for yours. 
1. New providers should not be asking for deposits.  
2. You should not be sending a deposit to someone who has no reviews. 
3. Same day in-call appointments should not require a deposit.
4. We do receive a huge amount of fake bookings and if you are wanting an outcall - providing an uber if asked is not unreasonable for a new provider to ensure it is YOU who is not a scammer/flake/pranker. 
If, and only IF -  the provider does have plenty of reviews both here and on rentmen, a SMALL deposit is fine, but really nothing more than $50. If you are wanting an overnight, or the provider to travel a great distance - it is reasonable that small amount would be ratioed taking the distance/time into account.  For eg, I do ask for  the equivalent of 1hr fee as deposit if I am to be booked for overnight, traveling interstate or internationally. 
Some factual background - I require all new clients to send minimal deposit and it has not reduced my workload at all.  The only change I experienced was the rate of cancelations has since reduced to almost zero. (last year only 2 cancellations/no shows the whole YEAR) This year after seeing all the nonsense posted on these boards by Couch Critics, Monday Morning Quarterbacks and just total Clowns - I stopped requesting them for new clients just to see what would happen. The result of the experiment was shocking even to me. A cancelation/ghosting rate of 65% for that month. This percentage rate increased when it was a client who messaged ONLY from rentmen messenger, or a burner phone number (yes we can tell if you are using a burner phone). Whilst the vast majority of people who use this forum are the real deal, please understand that if you say 'just trust me I am coming' the truth is – the stats show that you are more than likely not. 
If you are reaching out to a new provider - they have not earned the rank of being able to request deposits. Ask them if they have no deposit options instead – perhaps for a same day in-call appointment may work. If you are reaching out to an established provider, they may have no-deposit options you can do as well. If you are wanting a longer booking, or for the provider to hold a spot open for you on the just the promise that you will arrive and not a deposit - you may be out of luck. 
A well-reviewed provider will not runway with your $50 when they can make $300 or more by actually seeing you -  and maybe make a new regular client out of you (our best hope!).  
 
9.  Have fun. Be Safe. Use Commonsense. 

I've thankfully never had an issue.  I do typically stalk them on RM for a long time to see that they've been around, if they have a twitter I look at that, which leads to IG, Tik Tok etc.  I think I can get an idea if they seem "normal" or not.  I typically hire athletic Latinos.  So if it's a bunch of photos of them on the beach with friends, family, hanging at the gym etc.  Plus if they have been reviewed here, even if it's not a great review I'm cool.  Good Lord, I'm the Magnum PI of this hobby lol. 

I’ve met him a few times- he’s the real deal and is exactly as he describes himself in his profile. 

I appreciate all the thoughts and insights on this. I've also wondered at times: If I had been more attractive in my youth, is this something I would have done? I just wasn't good-looking or buff enough to even make it a viable option. But would have overcome the other barriers? I have no idea! 

Maybe it's a good thing that only a relative few guys were cut out for this. I might be broke otherwise. 

Truer words … well-said. Thank you!!

Exactly.  There’s very little that I do in my life that is for me alone and indulging in this hobby is one of them.  I feel great after a session and always look forward to the next one.  I’m not wealthy but my budget always takes into consideration the physical needs that being with another man satisfies.

I’ve met him a few times- he’s the real deal and is exactly as he describes himself in his profile. 

They tend to be disproportionate in other ways, too

Thank you for your wonderful reply. It makes me feel better for sure and gives me some insight into why he felt comfortable sharing that with me. 

Oh no! This topic again. He can charge whatever he thinks he’s worth. It’s entirely up to him and his definition of his value. You don’t have to pay it. You might want to hire him but if you don’t want to pay his rate too bad! You can’t afford him. Buy a cheaper guy and see how good he is. 
If you think it’s an easy overpaid job why not set up yourself? See how easy it is. What price would you put on yourself for an hour of doing escort work (don’t forget to add in all the hidden costs - time spent trying to look good, being available 24/7, handling time wasters, advertising, paying for the benefits that employees get as part of their job, taking risks with your sexual health….). Now his rate doesn’t seem so unreasonable does it…

That's a very nice tribute.  Sounds like you are also one of the kind people in this world.

I’m not hiring less but I’m hiring from a smaller pool.  As @Pensant indicates, quality options are few and far between and I’m taking a concerted focus on quality (and importing talent for weekend trips is not cheap…so predictable is important)

I’ve met him in the past and found him as he presents himself in his profile. But recent attempts to meet him haven’t worked out for a variety of reasons, including a last minute cancellation on his part. I probably won’t bother trying again. 

I’ll concur with @Nightowl and @Jamie21. With just about ANY hook-up app I’d be suspicious and you probably did dodge a bullet. It has been my experience that the “urgency” is part of the scam. (This I know from experience.) If you’re going to hire better to get referrals from CoM members and forums. 

By the 25 minute mark of straight non-stop fucking, I’ve checked out. I’m planning my week. Dry cleaning, groceries, wondering if I already paid that bill, can I get theater tickets for Thursday, and whether my back’s gonna complain about this tomorrow.

Thanks! I hope it starts the day off well with a smile. It’s my British sense of humour. I hope it travels. 

In addition to everything @big-n-tall said,  I also think a huge part of it is that there’s an element of fantasy built into the dynamic and forums like this can unintentionally disrupt that.
When providers show up here as fully formed people with their own opinions, boundaries, and perspectives, it shifts how some clients experience them. The illusion gets replaced with something more real, and not everyone knows how to engage with that. For some, that breaks the appeal a bit.
So instead of it just being about “why don’t they participate,” it’s also about whether the space allows them to exist as real people without being dissected, challenged, or pulled out of that curated dynamic they rely on professionally.

I equate PNP with drug use like meth or G.  I've never associated the term with marijuana or alcohol use.  I also associate its inclusion in an ad as an indication that the provider partakes, not just that he's open to clients who do, unless his ad has text that clearly spells that out.
A major reason for me to avoid providers who list PNP in their ads: People who use substances regularly are frequently less reliable in terms of keeping appointments.

Thanks for reaffirming a very important point - your humanity.  Anyone can have a bad experience, but short of having a provider become violent or steal from you, it's not cool to trash someone with smears or insults. One of the things I (and many others) carry into any meeting with a provider is respect for the person who is offering himself quite literally for my enjoyment. 
I must say your education background is very impressive AND cool. 👍🏻

I've been watching that show too (DTF St Louis) and took note of that line - particularly because print media was always my favorite form of porn, and in a way it still is. I think most guys prefer video or cam, but I still like the still images. 
When I was a teenager, and into my college years, I rented a post office box so I could subscribe to Playgirl and receive my issues there. This became more comical once I lived alone, but I was still afraid to have the issues arrive at my apartment. What if someone saw my mail?!? Now it all seems so ridiculous, but that was me then.
There was a thrill to visiting the post office box in those days. I'd open up the little door, and my heart would beat with excitement if I saw the magazine curled up in the box (I suppose my dick beat a bit with excitement too). Now with the internet, everything is available instantly, so that anticipation and excitement just isn't there.  

I wouldn't say don't trust reviews on this site. If you've been on this site long enough you can see the posters who have an agenda and the ones generally trying to help others.
From long standing posters who frequently contribute information, I'm more apt to believe the review. New one time posters, who make one review and disappear... far less so.
As others have said take every review with a grain of salt. For one, just because one person has a great time with the provider, doesn't mean another will have the same experience. Second, I know some people on here post stuff I know not to be true. You just have to be able to discern what is useful and what is not... take a chance or let sleeping dogs lie.
So to speak directly to @Tomsell if this post about review trust is in reference to your issues you posted about your encounter with stonefruitnyc... again just because someone has a great time with a provider doesn't mean someone else will. Because you had a negative experience doesn't mean the other reviews aren't true. This site is useful but it can't guarantee you'll have a great or horrible encounter with a provider. It'll just give you a better idea of what could happen and who might be better fit with your desires.

One of the things I have noticed influencing the ease or dis-ease of hiring is the political climate and the at times over vigilant overwatch of hotels, community groups and law enforcement making hiring precarious and both clients and providers skittish~ 
 it seems also that the demographics and f having a private place to either bring a higher two or for a provider to bring a Client to has changed~ so now, sometimes there is a spouse or family or roommates or business operating hours if it’s in a retail space, those things can come into play. Perhaps part of that is the rising cost of expenses for everybody deterring that independent living situation with situational, ongoing permanent, or short term for/long-term availability and affordability~ 

Haven't had the crypto or gift card BS, yet.
My difficulties are AI generated pics, and just a lot of attitude. Along with charging $350-400 and hosting in a $98/night hotel.