newatthis

He had been on my radar for some time. Joined his OnlyFans. Had trouble getting timely responses to my request for a date in Seattle. Finally scheduled a day and time about a month out. Confirmed several times. The day before the appointment (his choice of time) he messaged me that he had accepted a dinner invitation that evening, but if I could move our appointment he might be able to "squeeze me in." I told him I was on a tight schedule also and politely cancelled. For the $ I was not interested in being squeezed in. This was last spring. 

I appreciate you being vulnerable in disclosing this information - super helpful because I think this is frequent thought. 
and I think you’re in a really good place to expand your experiences.  Lots of new clients have issues w guilt & shame around the idea of paid sex & all that entails.  You don’t express any of that.  So, that’s a huge win already & you’re ahead of the game.
With more experience you will gain confidence.  And for me, it’s been liberating & empowering to own my desires and make it happen, without shame, guilt, apologies or explanations.  Hiring providers also forces me to confront my own hangups - because to get what I want, I must communicate that clearly to a provider and come to agreement. I can’t just think someone might know what I’m thinking or expecting.  I’m not talking about a scripted encounter - but the basics and anything that might be a necessity.  I’m also in a relationship, so that forces clear communication with my partner about things I used to consider uncomfortable.
This is a huge opportunity for personal growth - depending on how you look at it & proceed. And lots & lots of pleasure. Enjoy !

Recently visited NYC for a bit and went to a handful of different spas and tried different masseurs and wanted to share my experiences with folks. Want to note I had extras and left happy after each encounter, but quality of the experience significantly varied.

27 Men Spa

Overall, I think this was my favorite place. It’s a very clean space that has the right ambiance. It feels the most relaxing out of the three that I’ve been to in nyc. 

Max: massage was decent, and extras were nice. Didn’t ask for more tip, which made me inclined to tip him well at the end (I did 60% tip). Definitely more on the sensual side of massages, but didn’t rush into it which I appreciated. Red Bull can.

Sebastian: gave a really strong massage and incorporated good sensual elements all throughout. Favorite extra out of all the masseurs I’ve tried from nyc spas, and he was kind about it. Didn’t ask for more tips, but at the end he used a translator to say that he hoped for a generous tip (80% tip).

Chelsea Men’s Spa

I’m quite disappointed in the service I’ve gotten here. I don’t think it’s worth the money and the massages were more like light touches than actual massages. Table shower facilities were clean, and the massage rooms were clean, but preferred 27 Men’s Spa’s facilities much more.

Kevin: Did the table shower and massage and 2 mins into the table shower he immediately started doing some sensual elements, which I prefer a build-up rather than going straight into it. Scrubbed my back and then I flipped over and he used regular soap. Asked me to stand up and proceeded with some sensual elements. Went back to the massage room and proceeded with a mild massage. He spent the last 10 mins just smacking my foot repetitively which was odd. Wasn’t a fan to be honest, also was rather aggressive about asking for tips (asked for 120% tip for extras). Not my favorite.

Daniel: better than Kevin and also had a similar flow with the table shower and massage, but had a much lighter massage. It felt like he was just floating with his fingers and also just seem so disinvested. Was a very cold experience, not a fan either. 

HUSH

Facilities were the worst compared to the other two. Dark, grungy, and you can hear the staff talking through the walls which made it difficult to fully be immersed. They also used a YouTube video with ads for the background music, which was distracting to have the masseur skip ads every time the video finished. Walls were also quite thin so I was able to hear Kpop from the next-door neighbors.

Omar: kind and polite, and was the only masseur to ask me where my problem areas were. Massage was good, and added some sensual elements towards the end. Politely asked if I was interested in extras without asking for more tips, which I appreciated.

Feel free to DM me for more details if folks are interested, happy to share, or if folks want to exchange stories too I'm happy to do so

Not really, guess it's easy to get head in LA. I'd be open to it for a good review. 😘

if you don't know taz, you clearly don't know much about montreal

if you don't know taz, you clearly don't know much about montreal

if you don't know taz, you clearly don't know much about montreal

I’m not. I flew to London last year to meet Jamie and I’m annoyed I only arranged for one session.  His posts are an incredible turn on. He’s every bit the skilled professional we’re led to believe and a man of many talents. I’d kick in for a crowdfunded trip to nyc, or bring him out myself, not share him for a second, but write all about it with pics and videos, though I think that would be the end of me.  Who’s in for a Winter pick me up? 

Bullshit 

I'm just the opposite.  If the clothes don't start coming off during the first song, I stop at 1.  Period.  I'd guess that 99% of the time that's been a reliable indicator of whether the dancer is going to be generous with his body or tease me along hoping to make lots of $$ with minimum effort.  They don't necessarily have to end up totally naked by the end of the 1st song , but the willingness to do so tells me everything.
 

So I have been a member of this site for 3 months now.    I believe some thoughts,  ideas and feedback are in order.
 
When I first arrived here,  I wasn't sure what the site really was.   When I discovered the forums,  it really is much like the fitness site  "Realjock", where I have been a member for years.
I was intrigued and to be honest,  quite fascinated something like this even existed.    Very positive initial impression.    Now on my 3 month anniversary,  there are a few of my thoughts:
 
1.  SITE AMONG THE BEST AND WELL RUN:    My initial impression was correct.   I like the site,  most of the discussions and dialogue.   I appreciate the moderators (and approach taken).  Never have seen moderators in action before.    Some of the extras,   the "points"  the categories are kind of interesting.     I'm still waiting for my Christmas gift for all the participation....jk.
2.   MEMBERS LARGELY FRIENDLY,  OUTGOING AND ACCEPTING:    There are really good men here.   Sure,   I heard initially there would be a few exceptions  (and I've now seen that in action).   A number have reached out to me,  welcomed me and have been very supportive and friendly.    Those very few that are petty,  are largely ignored and ultimately blocked if warranted.     I'm someone who wants to learn from those you respect and appreciate.   That is by far the majority here.
3.  DIVERSE FORUM DISCUSSION:   I'm an educated professional person.   I really like being able to discuss  "shop talk"  conversation,  but also engage those who talk about legal issues,  finance and a whole host of other things,  including various parks and museums.     There are things discussed that are new to me as well.    You never know what you'll find.
This was indeed the "gem"  here.    I never would have guessed.
4:  TO THOSE WHO RUN AND MODERATE THE SITE:   Just know the larger picture.   You have provided a place for men to come and share,  to feel involved and learn.   Those who have been members for years  clearly show they have a stake in the site,  the quality of association and participation.    Friendships,  mentoring,  so many things happen here every day.   Just know I'm pleased to be associated and I look forward to gaining more insight as time goes on.   I'm an optimist by nature and generally run my life in a positive way.   This site seems to follow the same basic principles.
 
Thank you for all your work,  time and effort.   You definitely get an "A".   

I visited Montreal over Halloween weekend and went to Campus Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. Usually got there after 10. Thursday night was a little slow (it was raining off and on), but Friday and Saturday were really busy.
Mathieu / Matthew
Handsome, hairy, muscular bearded guy. Agree with another post that he is really big and beefy. Hairy all over in a good way, I especially liked his hairy chest and torso. He's friendly when approaching you and is willing to chat a bit and not pushy about lap dances. I did have a dance with him, and he took everything off by the middle of the first song and it got better from there. It was really hot. Unlike the rest of the dancers who wore tight boxer brief style underwear, he wore blue bikini cut briefs which really showed off his dick, ass and thick hairy thighs.
Max
Dark hair, clean shaven, muscular with shoulder and chest tattoos. Wore a black NY Yankees baseball cap. I was standing at the raised area in front of the pool table behind the drink ledge, and Max stood in front of me just one step down. He was standing so close, and I couldn't stop staring at the muscles of his broad back and his handsome profile. I got a lap dance, and it was great, very slow and sensual.
Damon
He's a tall blond guy, clean shaven, no tattoos. I chatted with him a few times, and he seems really nice and friendly. He's from Quebec but could pass as a corn fed Midwestern guy. His bright green boxer briefs looked really great on him, and it showed off his big dick.
Sam
Muscular, bearded with a very hairy chest. Also had a dance with him. The first thing he did was pull my legs towards him so I was in a bit more of a reclining angle. That was unexpected but also hot. It seemed to help him maintain body contact, so that was all good with me. I liked brushing my face against his hairy chest and squeezing his muscular ass and feeling his strong arms. As was mentioned in another post he has an OnlyFans. 
Alex
Muscular, smooth body. He has a handsome face with stubble. Wore a Blue Jays cap. Very friendly, personable and chatty. Beautiful XL dick. In the back his light kisses and hot breaths on my neck made me delirious. He'd also kiss closer and closer to my mouth which was so hot, and I liked how his stubble felt against my face. At one point in the dance he was straddling me facing away, and he bends forward. So he's in my lap grinding against me, and I have full view of his muscular back tapering down to his tight waist and sweet ass. Also his skin is so soft and felt so smooth over his muscled chest, arms and back.
Valentino
I think he's gorgeous, I could stare him all day. He has a few more tattoos on his arms and a small one on his neck since the last time I saw him. His arms, shoulders, chest and ass look bigger and his abs are more lean and cut. Stage performances were great with a lot of fast acrobatic dance moves. Sexy all around, but his second dance where he shows his hard dick just makes my mouth water.
Mossimo
Very tightly muscular so more on the lean side rather than beefy. He has a lot of tattoos. His second dance he reveals a dick that's really long and hard that sticks straight out.
Zayne
Handsome young blond guy. Looked great from when I saw him before, but he also looks like he's put on more muscle. I think he was only there on Friday night, but he was very popular.
Chuck Conrad
I didn't know who he was at first, but he looked familiar (he's one of the porn stars mentioned on the Campus website). Big hairy chested guy with a long beard. He was there on Saturday, and did a 2 set on stage. 
So that's the short list that I can remember, but there were plenty of other great looking guys there. Campus seems to have a lot of regular dancers and also a solid group who rotate in. Over the course of three nights there were probably over 20+ guys (maybe more) who danced and/or worked the floor.
Overall the trip was great fun. Guys were hot and the lap dances memorable. Already thinking about when to plan my next visit.

I think sometimes clients send a face pic or a body pic voluntarily because they want to be reassured that the escort or masseur likes them. I’ve had clients send pics voluntarily and ask me if they’re suitable to come. Of course they’re suitable! 
They don’t realise that it just doesn’t matter to me what they look like. It matters to me that they want to book me because they like what they see and what I might be able to do for them. It’s about them accepting me much more than it is about me accepting them. The irony is that being hired is the greatest turn on. 

 
 

Don’t be ridiculous…..we’re gay men. 
You know damn well, anyone over 29….is ancient!

Long-timers (like @Luv2play and me) know that the "winner" in the eternal Campus/Stock competition cycles and recycles over the years.  What I miss are those years when both places (not to mention Taboo) all had large stables of dancers worth spending time with, and not just on the occasional weekend night or two!

Would you be willing to indicate which are willing to get sensual?  Private message if you'd prefer.  Thanks.

This is definitely a tightrope we walk as providers.  Because of the intimate nature of the service Iprovide, the cold detachment just doesn't feel right to me.  Especially since my general approach is to cultivate regular ongoing situations.  A personal connection of some sort becomes inevitable.  Especially as you learn to navigate a regular client and his desires, quirks, hangups, insecurities, etc.  You have to do it with a degree of empathy.  You can't leave your humanity at the door when you walk in if you genuinely get off on providing a client with a top shelf experience.
All that said, boundaries are of paramount importance.  And you find opportunities to assert those whenever you can.  
As a bona fide gym rat, I find myself observing the relationships that clients develop with their personal trainers, and sometimes it seems an apt parallel.  These folks spend enough time with their clients to really get to know them, and real friendships can develop.  But the framework for that friendship is always there: one is paying the other for a service that makes their life better.
I often have regulars text me on off days/hours.  Usually it's a reference to something funny we talked about.  I was initially unsure of how to handle this kind of thing.  But ultimately, we're humans who have a regular ongoing interaction.  So I do often engage, but I'm careful of doing it immediately.  Happy to engage, but you don't get my full immediate attention until it's our designated time.   
To me it's all about ways to maintain boundaried connections. 

Is it ?
Because if you're hiring a "straight guy" to have gay sex, I'm pretty sure there's some acting involved somewhere in that mix.
I have been told many times that I am outwardly "straight" in my demeanor. I am also married with kids...so again...seemingly "straight".
Just none of that's the case.
Am I "acting" ? Am I deceiving ? No.
People often see what they want to see. Doesn't mean your outward demeanor is deceitful. I see no reason to walk around like less of a man simply because I used to go to sex parties and let multiple men fuck me up the ass and cum down my throat.  People are complex creatures. Not everything fits into easily defined categories. I've known plenty of men who are married with kids, love their wife/ play football/drink beer and drive a pick up truck, who occasionally like to pick up a teenage boy at a road side rest and fuck his little white ass and cum down his throat.  Identity and biology don't always match up.
That guy in the truck and the teenager cruising the parking lot would likely never set foot in a gay bar..but because they are both "acting" the part of normative macho straight men, the gay sex is no longer "gay". It's just sex.
Bromosexuality is very exciting to some men.
 

My favorite provider is guy married to a woman. A guy with three kids. The sex is passionate and enjoyable for the both of us. I was married and had kids as well. Now I am single, and have no interest in marrying a man. I'm more of a loner; I'd rather live by myself. I prefer "straight acting" (whatever that means) providers. It just makes me more comfortable, especially in public settings. That's just me, my personal tastes. The guys I fooled around with in high school and college all would fit into the "straight acting" category. The sex and interaction with them in the bedroom was usually passionate and full of energy. It was clear they were enjoying the gay sex. With only one exception those guys have all gone on to have wives and kids and "traditional" lives and family. Are they gay? Straight? Bi? Whatever! Call them what you want. Call me whatever you want. You do you. What you need. What makes you happy and comfortable. I'll do me. No politics. No confining labels. Just different strokes for different folks.

I’m willing to bet we all agree on how gravity works, but we most certainly do not all agree on how to define human sexuality and its related terms. The analogy, therefore, simply does not apply.
Sexuality is fluid. The question “is this provider straight?” presupposes that it’s a 100% black or 100% white issue. It’s not. A man can be straight and enjoy a m4m experience. Some would say he is not straight in that case. As far as the man is concerned, he still identifies himself as straight. Who is right? That whole discussion is a separate issue. How do we define straight, gay and other identities? WHO gets to decide what applies and what doesn’t and to whom? WHO decides on the exceptions and clarifies the nuances? You will never get 100% agreement from everyone on the answers to those questions - AND I’m not attempting to get agreement on those answers in this thread. That is why I put it aside; those answers are beside the point.
I posit that sexual orientation and identity, however someone defines those, are irrelevant to a successful provider-client business transaction. My point is: a provider can market himself as “straight”, perform as if he’s straight, and deliver an experience the client wants. When the client believes the provider is straight (according to the client’s own definition of “straight”) and enjoys the experience, he’s happy. Nothing else is relevant. Period. Even if the provider is straight-for-pay, or technically bi, or whatever. Feel free to argue about how you define all of those sexual identity terms elsewhere. It’s an interesting discussion to have. However, with regard specifically to MY point, those definitions are irrelevant.
Worst case scenario: the provider is not straight, knows it, and deliberately fools his clients by acting out a persona, a character. At the end of the day, if a provider markets himself as straight (but really isn’t), dupes his clients, and then sexually enjoys men in the privacy of his home and inner thoughts, that’s his business. The client doesn’t need to know. What difference does it make to the client as long as the client is convinced of the provider’s straightness? That’s still a successful business transaction for the client and the provider. That’s why I’m questioning how relevant a provider’s sexuality is in the first place. If he’s a good actor, all else works out regardless. And if the provider is genuinely straight (by any definition you want to apply), fine. Same outcomes. What does it matter?
 

I see people's pov here, but to clarify:
- I didn't mention he is disgusted by having sex with another man, he is just not turned on by it. It requires more concentration to stay hard without ED meds
- he didn't cum because he wanted to, I asked him if he could. If you rub the penis long enough, it will cum. 
- I didn't hire him because he is straight, but because he is a hot young virile man. I would prefer hiring a gay or bi guy though, because there's a higher chance that someone gay or bi could be into having sex with me instead of someone straight going through the motions. 
- I don't think it's a power dynamic where I am asking him to do something he doesn't want to do. He is not desperate and told me he only does this because of the allure of making a lot of money quickly. You can look at it also that he is taking my hard earned money using his good looks to entice me. 
I had a good time. We smiled and hugged in the end. It wasn't a traumatic event for anyone, just 2 people exploring life and learning more about it and themselves. 

Oh dear this forum is becoming like twitter. You took my comment, rephrased it; “that’s like saying” and then critiqued your reinterpretation! 

What I said was have great sex with people you like. Look beyond the label that society gives them (gay, straight etc) and see the person and what attracts you to them.
Personally I’ve found that the more I’ve explored the wider my taste has become. It’s like continually trying new things to broaden your mind. In the past I have let societal labels prejudice my opinion of whether I am attracted to someone, so I didn’t do anything with them. Now my mind is more open to different people and I’ve discovered that attraction is way deeper and more complex than I had believed when I was constrained by labels. 

You missed the part where I said “with other people you like”. 🙄

Sexuality runs the gamut whether it’s preferences in partners or preferences in practices. I don’t buy into the argument that labels don’t matter. Otherwise, one’s preferences aren’t allowed to matter, and you’re expected to be all things to everyone. 

However anyone wishes to identify themselves sexually is OK, just respect it. What you may think about their self identity is another matter. 

Do I find some straight guys hot? Absolutely! Both providers and IRL. But, in this hobby, I wouldn’t look to engage a straight provider - but that’s more about my “shop local” thing. Could that change? Possibly. I may not be looking for a straight provider, but if the gent ticks all the boxes otherwise, I could be open. Straight guys IRL are another matter. Unlike some other guys I know, I’d never make that first move - I figure if he wants it, he can make the first move, which has happened, and which has resulted in some fun times.
At the end of the day, each of us like what we like for whatever reasons. I may not get the whole strictly focused on straight men only thing, but I also don’t get some of the practices gay men engage in with other gay men. As long as it’s legal, (this hobby notwithstanding), no one is getting hurt, and the parties come out of it satisfied, go for it! 
 
Just my tuppence. 
BBD 

 

Who cares! Just have great sex with other people you like, as many as possible, at the same time. Labels are so limiting.