newatthis

If I understood @badger correctly,  he understands that it's ok, or desirable, to be explicit about what he wants -- but he is too shy/inhibited to express himself directly (something I understand from personal experience).  Sharing porn that illustrates what you lust for is one way to deal with that shyness.  Another might be to phrase things a little obliquely, along the lines of "I saw a porn scene once that really turned me on.  They were [fill in the blank]."  Or, a little more directly, "I sometimes find myself fantasizing about [...]."
Absolutely!  Some escorts will naturally push you to explore; others hesitate for fear of scaring you or turning you off.  Letting them know that you're open to new experiences is important.

If I understood @badger correctly,  he understands that it's ok, or desirable, to be explicit about what he wants -- but he is too shy/inhibited to express himself directly (something I understand from personal experience).  Sharing porn that illustrates what you lust for is one way to deal with that shyness.  Another might be to phrase things a little obliquely, along the lines of "I saw a porn scene once that really turned me on.  They were [fill in the blank]."  Or, a little more directly, "I sometimes find myself fantasizing about [...]."
Absolutely!  Some escorts will naturally push you to explore; others hesitate for fear of scaring you or turning you off.  Letting them know that you're open to new experiences is important.

unrealistic sex scenes in the sense that they gay guys performed anal as if they were a hetero couple having missionary sex. We are to assume that neither of the bottoms in their respective shows had ever bottomed before. Yet there was no awkwardness, no reflection of being uncomfortable or in any type of pain whatsoever. In Brokeback the lube used for these first timers was saliva. In Red White and Royal Blue no lubricant at all was indicated, and the bottom acted as if he were a seasoned veteran. 
The anal scenes in Heated Rivalry were much more authentic. Bottom took some time to get comfortable and clearly displayed the parts of being a bottom that take some getting used to. The top continually checked on his partner to see if he was ok. He performed as if he knew what he was doing and that he had definitely done this before. The orgasm was very realistic. 
I wasn't complaining just to complain. I guess I was saying that the anal in Heated Rivalry looked very much like the real thing. The other two movies had gay sex like a straight Hollywood Director might direct it.
I liked all three movies and am grateful that there are any movies at all that show intimacy and relationships between two men. 

All these biases are so Victorian and old fashioned. And especially in this forum. It takes two to tango. And shame on all of you for disparaging our partners in sin. 😈👼🏻

Would it be too much to ask for you to provide some links to the images that have outraged you, so that others might (or might not) share your disgust?

As a 2-decade niceGuy escort, I can tell you your thinking is wrong.  We are paid, and it's not an act.  Both are true. 
 
It's genuine fun and passion that just happens to be paid.  (Ok, those providers who say "I love you" without being asked to, that's laying it on thick) What is getting in the way of it being a long term thing is not that we were/are acting, it's that we aren't an option because of our work and most of the time neither are you because "fill in the blank".
Don't "move on" by telling yourself it was an act.  What a horrible thing to do to yourself, and horrible way to think of him.  Rather, remind yourself that it was good, it is good, and it can not be for many very real reasons.  All those things are true and unchangeable.

yup...I love dark and seedy and (therefore) the old Johnny's.  For me, darkness and seediness are compromised once women are part of the crowd...which is also why old Montreal appealed much more to me than new Montreal

Should I pay a deposit for an Uber driver, and then leave him a tip if he lets me blow him while driving?  I seek exclusively straight Uber drivers (How's that for merging topics 😉)
Any 411 on straight Uber drivers? (I'm not specifying a city, to get as many unhelpful responses as possible)

Especially if he had an ass like Ilya's

“It is profoundly revealing when an individual’s critique of a creative work descends into a dismissal of the emotions portrayed within it. To suggest that a narrative is "dopey" or "unrealistic" simply because it dares to center tenderness over cynicism is to admit to a certain aesthetic and emotional myopia. At the very best, such a stance indicates a fundamental inability to engage with the arts as a transformative medium—one that is designed to elevate the human experience rather than merely mirror the most mundane or transactional aspects of it. At worst, however, this rigid skepticism suggests a far more tragic condition: an apparent incapacity for recognizing, or perhaps even feeling, the expansive nature of love itself.
Art has never been required to serve as a literal, carbon-copy reflection of every viewer’s specific history. The beauty of storytelling lies in its ability to present "the possible" alongside "the real." To argue that a depiction is invalid because it does not align with one's personal observations is a logical fallacy of the highest order. It is a somber reality that some individuals believe their narrow window of experience constitutes the entirety of the world's horizon. The claim that one has "never seen or heard" gay men relate to each other with such emotional depth is not a dynamic critique of the show’s writing; rather, it is a self-indictment of the speaker’s own limited social and emotional ecosystem. Just because a specific frequency of affection has remained silent in your own life does not mean that the frequency itself does not exist.
We must ask ourselves why soft-heartedness and vulnerability are so often miscoded as "weakness" or "inauthenticity." Why is it that drama and emotional transparency are viewed with such vitriol, while the transactional and the "aggressive" are upheld as the only markers of "actual" experience? To suggest that men should bypass the nuances of romantic connection in favor of the mechanical is to advocate for a life that is spiritually hollow.
The arts are intended to stretch the boundaries of our empathy. When we encounter a story that challenges our preconceived notions of how men should behave, speak, or love, the instinct to mock is often a defense mechanism against the discomfort of being moved. Your dismissal of this series as a "dopey" fantasy for an imagined audience ignores the reality that many find profound resonance in these depictions. Truth in art is not found in the hairlessness of an actor or the specific mechanics of a scene, but in the emotional honesty that the performances evoke. If you find yourself unable to perceive that honesty, the fault does not lie with the creators, but with the lens through which you choose to view the world. May you eventually find the grace to see that love, in all its various and "dramatic" forms, is as real as any other part of our shared humanity.“
 
asked ChatGPT to turn my comment into 500 words 🤭

yup...I love dark and seedy and (therefore) the old Johnny's.  For me, darkness and seediness are compromised once women are part of the crowd...which is also why old Montreal appealed much more to me than new Montreal

yup...I love dark and seedy and (therefore) the old Johnny's.  For me, darkness and seediness are compromised once women are part of the crowd...which is also why old Montreal appealed much more to me than new Montreal

yup...I love dark and seedy and (therefore) the old Johnny's.  For me, darkness and seediness are compromised once women are part of the crowd...which is also why old Montreal appealed much more to me than new Montreal

what he said

For some providers I'm aroused on arrival, especially those I've met with before. I am reminded of how hot I find them and I am excited about what's to come. I'm usually aroused throughout but the extent of arousal will ebb and flow around what they are doing. As @big-n-tall says, when they're doing deep work, less. When they're running their hands over my ass, rubbing my neck, making deep moaning or grunting sounds (Ahhhh, Turcoman 🥰) that definitely gets me going. I also find if they are hard it makes me hard.

You spelled cock wrong. 

Yeah, it's all fun and games till you wake up and find your dick in an Albuquerque mailbox. 
Seriously though, it's an interesting test. 

There is no harm in stating your limits in your ad. You have a full time job, you’re only available evenings and weekends, you’re not always able to even answer requests during business hours, and because of it you need to plan ahead and can only take a few clients a week. As a client, I am not put off by this at all. What I am bothered by is having to pull that information out of somebody piece by piece. There have been times where I was only available on weeknights or mornings or a specific day. Having all the information up front saves everyone time and effort. 

Oh, puh-leeze. “Highly religious”? That means nothing. For context, I am 61 years old. I’ve lost count of the number of men who put on a clean shirt and go pray to their God on Sunday morning, who later divest themselves of their tighty-whiteys and are crying, “Oh, God! OH, GOD!” in my bed Sunday afternoons and evenings. Continuing … my parents used to boast of my involvement with the youth ministry at their Church. Little did they know I was taking it up the ass from the youth minister in the boys bathroom at fellowship hall after Sunday services. I suppose one could say that I was “highly religious”, too. (Before anyone gets their Calvins in a wad, I was 17 and he was 19.) Dude still looks good (me less so), and  his parents live in the same retirement community as my parents. So I see him and his wife from time to time. And sometimes I see him in the men’s room for old time’s sake. 
I’m not trying to divert or derail the subject (Ty Simpson). “Highly religious” Southern men are a whole helluva lotta fun when they crack that closet door open. Not to be tacky but I’ve taken enough Southern seed to know. 

Bozo has pre-paid and pre-arranged to be buried with his cell phone, laptop, and desktop.
There will be no privacy/confidentiality issues in a post-Bozo world.
BTC
🤡

I think the hardest part here may not actually be what he does, but that you were misled about it. That kind of breach of trust can feel more destabilizing than the work itself.
There’s still a lot of nuance worth sitting with before you decide what this means for you.
Did he avoid telling you because he was afraid of losing you, or because he didn’t want to deal with the consequences? When he finally told you, did it feel like honesty and vulnerability, or more like “this is who I am, take it or leave it”? Is he truly trying to change his circumstances, or simply hoping you’ll adapt to them?
You’re clearly very invested emotionally. What does he do, in concrete ways, to show that your commitment is matched? And practically speaking, does this situation place more emotional or financial strain on you than on him?
None of these questions are accusations. They’re about understanding balance, safety, and trust. Love can coexist with complexity, but only if both people are carrying their share of the weight.
It may help to remember that the person who feels they have less to lose often has more leverage, even unintentionally. Moving forward may mean naming any imbalance honestly and deciding together what would restore a sense of stability and mutual respect for you — not just keeping things intact.
Personslly, I think this is salvageable if you are both equally invested 

Is it really your mailman's fault?  In my neighborhood,  the mail carriers have a full day's work and someone has to be last.  My own mailman varies the order in which he does his route...he can arrive at my house any time in the afternoon between 1 and 6 pm.

I've been the client in this situation once or twice.  And one time I actually went home without paying (the bliss😁!) without the escort's saying a word.  When I called a few hours later to apologize profusely and make arrangements to pay, he laughed off my apologies...he said he knew I would eventually figure it out.  Talk about trust!

Been a couple of years since I've seen him, but back then I would have rated him ***** for sexiness, customer service, and overall nice-guyness.

Been a couple of years since I've seen him, but back then I would have rated him ***** for sexiness, customer service, and overall nice-guyness.