maninsoma

I just don't understand the premise of your story. These two brothers don't want to do this, but they came up with the idea and presented it to you -- presumably out of the blue because you said the thought of being with them together hadn't even entered your mind? Assuming what you wrote is true (not calling you a liar, but what you wrote does read more like the beginning of a bad erotic short story than a telling of real life events), if you want to go through with it then go ahead. How are you making them do something they don't want to do if they came up with the scenario, including the limits? None of it sounds particularly exciting to me as I've never had the fantasy of doing it with brothers or twins.

Actually, she was uncharacteristically quiet which was fine with me. She probably couldn't bring herself to be nice, so she said very little of note beyond acknowledging the natural beauty in the Bay Area and wine country in the north bay in particular.

I haven't taken that kind of sh** from anyone since I was 18. When my stepmother was bad mouthing me at the Thanksgiving table, I told her to mind her own business since she raised a daughter and son to be thieves. When she raised her hand to slap me, I stood up and told her I would beat the sh** out of her if she laid a hand on me. (Anyone who knows me knows how uncharacteristic that is of me. This was a truly horrible woman.) Many years later, shortly before her death, when my father discussed them visiting me in California I told him point blank that at the first negative comment I would leave them on their own, wherever we were, and I wouldn't see them again the rest of the trip. I told him to only make the travel plans if he knew he could convince her to not be her usually nasty self. I came out while still in high school in the 1970s in a very small town in the midwest. I'm not interested in allowing someone else's bigotry into my personal space. I'd rather become estranged from family members if their thinking is so twisted that they think it's loving to insult and harass me.

Guess what? Most people who work are "controlled" by others to some extent, whether it's their boss, a legal system that dictates appropriate behavior in their profession, the customers/clients who pay them, etc. I'm sure I wouldn't continue to get paid if I told management where I work that I was now going to only do what I wanted because I was no longer interested in being "controlled" by them. I know that escorting is a much more personal line of work so the "controlling" might be perceived as even worse, but personally I have to chuckle at the notion that someone would think a request to remove nail polish is an attempt to control. It's a request, one that can be denied. If you're a provider who wants to keep his nails polished, then simply tell the client you won't do that and then the client can choose to move on. It really isn't that hard. "Controlling" to me conveys something a lot more significant -- like coercing someone to do something they don't want to do by threat, intimidation, or inducing some mind altering substance to the scene. Like a pimp exploiting someone sexually, or someone attempting to blackmail the other party, or someone forcing or manipulating someone to put their health at risk. There sure is a lot of histrionics here, attempting to equate a rather benign request (can you remove nail polish, not can you take a knife and slash your torso 10 times because I like the sight of blood) to some hugely offensive act that requires castigation.

If you are referring to Rentmen reviews, I don't put much stock in those. Maybe a lot of those reviewers didn't leave comments because they cannot see them in other reviews they've read (i.e., they don't know they can use a VPN as a work-around to see the written reviews), so they just assume it's standard practice to leave a rating and that's it. At any rate, I'm much more likely to give weight to feedback here unless it's posted by someone with no history of commenting on other providers.

I agree that it's petty to send someone on his way, after he's prepared himself for an appointment and traveled to a client's residence/hotel, simply due to something like nail polish. I agree that if that issue is so important to a client that he should screen for that in advance, not at the moment someone shoes up in person. Or pay for the service you requested if you decide to cancel at the last minute. The rest of it is just intellectual nonsense. Unless we're going to start arguing that all sexual preferences are wrong, that we should all find every person potentially sexy, then just accept that people have their likes and dislikes and that sometimes those are congruent with dominant culture messaging but other times they are not. Kudos to those who truly are more open to a wide variety of people, and I think the best escorts are those who are able to see the sexiness in a much wider array of people than most of us can.

Asking someone to change a feature like nail polish or even facial hair where the provider has photos posted that shows both states (polish and no polish, clean shaven and with beard/mustache) is reasonable. If the provider states he doesn't want to remove the polish or shave, though, the client should just politely move on. The reason why I think it's a reasonable request is that the provider is marketing himself with different looks, so presumably he isn't wed to looking one specific way. It would be entirely different if the provider's photos only showed him looking a specific way. I certainly wouldn't support contacting someone who has facial hair in all of his photos with a request to shave. The alternative for a client who cares is to simply ask the provider to describe what he looks like in the moment, and then simply pass if he has attributes the client doesn't like. I assume a provider would prefer clarity ("Oh, you have a beard right now? If you're willing to shave, I'd like to meet you but I am not interested in men with beards") rather than the client simply saying, "No thanks" and then ending the conversation. The former at least gives the provider some information he can use in his business, i.e., how much business he might be losing due to certain choices he's made, and then he can decide whether that matters to him. The latter tells him nothing other than that someone called him and then decided not to book. I don't understand the notion of "fragility" on either person's part here. The client is a client, spending money for an experience of his choosing. The provider is marketing a service. Surely both parties can simply accept that not all clients are going to be compatible with all escorts. There's no reason to get upset that someone isn't interested unless the person is a jerk about it.

I hired him once many years (a couple of decades?) ago. I remember being satisfied but not much else.

I don't know whether these calendars are still being made, but I know that for at least a few years there were calendars featuring handsome priests.

It's true that if the underwear comes off, it really makes little difference what the guy was wearing when he arrived. I was thinking more of some porn scenes I've seen, where guys keep on stockings and garter belts during the entire scene. I know some will respond sexually to that, but not me.

Do I like the look of nail polish on men? Not particularly. Would it be a deal breaker for me? Absolutely not. I'm definitely less turned off by nail polish than I am when I see men wearing undergarments designed for women. It isn't misogyny. It isn't that I don't think men should be allowed to express their gender identity however they want or, for that matter, simply wear whatever clothes they want. It just doesn't fit in with my sexual fantasies, though. I'm definitely more into a jock or hot-guy-next-door image, so a guy presenting as more femme just doesn't turn me on.

I do think that changing one's name repeatedly in response to negative comments made on this forum is a mistake and only makes him look worse. I know nothing of the guy and don't even know who's being discussed, but one of my biggest red flags is a provider who changes his name repeatedly. I'll give an example of another way an escort can handle this, without naming names. There's an escort where some clients posted that the escort had bad body odor. A few clients replied that they had hired the escort in question and didn't notice any body odor. Whenever this escort's name came up over a period of years, there would be another post either stating he had bad b.o. or asking whether his b.o. was still an issue. The escort in question never changed his name. I don't think I've ever seen him post here (at least not under his escort name), so I don't know how aware of this forum he is. I don't know whether he asked certain clients to defend him here, but I was one of the clients who posted that I had hired him and hadn't encountered any body odor; I did not do so due to a request from him but rather to give my perspective that that wasn't an issue the couple of times I hired him. Years later I still think this "does he or doesn't he have bad b.o." reputation haunts him, but it hasn't ruined his business since the majority of posts about him are positive. I can only imagine how different the outcome for him might have been had he just kept changing his name every time someone asked about him on this forum since that would just saddle him with a second attribute: someone who is attempting to hide from some clients' negative experiences. If an escort is generally well liked because he pleases his clients, I don't think it matters if there are stray, negative comments or questions. It's only when someone doesn't have clients who are going to post contrasting positive experiences that an escort has to worry about the clients who were dissatisfied for whatever reason.

Offer to reimburse him for his room (that way you won't be on the hook for damages/extra costs), and then tell him you will only be paying for one hour of his time per day since he obviously doesn't understand the concept of being hired for multiple days. Sure, guys need time off to go to the gym, reply to emails, etc, but requesting that you pay for a separate room for him is beyond the pale when, presumably, you are paying a fair amount to be with him for multiple days. He's either hoping you are a sucker and will go for it, or he simply isn't cut out for the type of escorting work where the escort and client actually spend time together just hanging out. Actually, I am just joking. I wouldn't offer to pay the guy's room at all. I'd just move on.

A lot of providers have left A4A. In San Francisco there used to be several pages of "Pros." Currently there is about 1 1/2 pages of providers within San Francisco, and then some other ones in other Bay Area locations.

I'm not necessarily recommending this guy since (a) I hired him 15 or 20 years ago and (b) it wasn't the most satisfying encounter I ever had, mostly due to the guy's aloofness, but I still remember how large his cock was -- length and girth. WestCoastMike

I agree with that. It's why I reply with a "it's been too long for me to tell you much" statement when I get a PM about someone I met years ago.

Not for me. Does this guy really change his name that often?

Well, unless he was joking (and it doesn't sound like that was the case), it sounds like he at least finds your body sexy. I'd interpret his unsolicited compliment as flirtatious, but depending on what you mean by "hitting on me" that may or may not have been happening. Sometimes people make flirtatious comments but they don't want to actually follow through with any sexual interaction.

I don't live in the EU, but given that VPN hides location information that might be a work-around. As to why this is happening, it's actually the US websites that are blocking traffic from the EU because they don't want to abide by Europe's stricter privacy laws. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/25/business/media/europe-privacy-gdpr-us.html

Just worked for me using Chrome on a Windows 10 laptop, wifi at home.

Well, if she knew who I was and kept stalking me I might have pursued that. Given that this occurred in a neighborhood I don't frequent, I wasn't worried about her continuing to harass me once I got far enough away from her that she couldn't keep following me.

I would change that to "Don't talk to the police if there is a chance you broke the law." Getting paid by someone and having sex at the same time is illegal most everywhere in the USA, so it's obviously good advice for an escort or masseur to not discuss their work with the police. Tangential story: A couple of years ago, I was a "suspect" in the police's eyes because some delusional woman accused me of stealing a change purse from her. The situation was actually very odd. I had just stepped off a bus and suddenly this crazy woman confronted me, saying I had bent over and taken the change purse she had just dropped. I assured her that I didn't bend over, didn't pick up anything, and had no idea what she was talking about. I went to dinner with a friend, and then to a bookstore. In the bookstore, my friend said to me: "Isn't that the woman who accused you of stealing her purse?" I looked over and, sure enough, it was her and she was on the phone with the police giving a description of me. We left the store and a police car pulled up with their lights flashing. I knew what was going on, so I stopped and just told the cop exactly what happened. It was odd to be put in a position to be frisked on a busy public street, but I understood they were just doing their job. They took my driver's license and discovered I had no record. When they decided to let me go, I told the policeman that I wanted to make sure that they let my friend and I get far enough away before they let the crazy woman go as it creeped me out that she had managed to follow us for over an hour while we walked around a neighborhood with neither my friend nor me noticing her. I think the cop was a little surprised by my request, but I explained that I didn't want to leave the theater my friend and I were on our way to in a couple of hours only to find her again. Who knew that what lengths this crazy person would go to retrieve her change purse from me that I didn't have?

It isn't that person's position to prove anything. That's the responsibility of police in terms of the arrest, and then prosecutors if it goes to trial. As I speculated up thread, we don't know what other information law enforcement has on this masseur. If there is no evidence of a crime other than the client's statements, I doubt this will get very far in the legal justice system.

While I'm inclined to join the chorus of outrage and assume that the masseur did nothing wrong, I'll play devil's advocate: Suppose the client really did just want a therapeutic massage. He used an app not known for erotic massages, not Rentmasseur. Even if the client got an erection while being massage (and we don't know whether that happened), that doesn't mean the client wanted sex. Physiological arousal doesn't always mean someone's mental status is congruent with that. So maybe the masseur just misread the situation or, worse, charged ahead without any indication that the client wanted more than a therapeutic massage. As to it taking so long to arrest the guy, that could mean a lot of things. It sounds like the client reported the incident to police right away, so perhaps they didn't make it a priority right away. Or maybe the police were attempting to set up a sort-of sting to catch the same masseur doing something similar with a different client so the case wouldn't be just the word of two people. As to holding the guy without bond, there may be other factors involved in that decision such as criminal history. I think we are all inclined to think that nothing wrong could have happened other than the client freaking out because we are members of a site that discusses escorts and masseurs. And while I'm inclined to view the client's reaction as way overboard and am skeptical of the treatment of the masseur (i.e., is he being treated differently because this involved gay sex?), I'm also not willing to just jump to conclusions based on the very little information presented in that article.

Your last paragraph is interesting. Assuming it involved a client, I'm not sure I understand your response. Surely some guys hire because they have some sexual issues and it's easier for them to be with a professional who (hopefully) will help them figure things out. It sounds to me like this guy was into you (he wouldn't have resumed repeatedly otherwise), but for whatever reason had a hard time letting go and just enjoying the moment. If his discomfort was due to bottoming, maybe that's something he's still working on. If it was just discomfort being with someone in an intimate way in general, that's an even bigger struggle. I guess I don't understand why any provider would get annoyed with a client like that instead of simply recognizing that he was in a position to help a guy explore intimacy in whatever way he could. I could understand getting annoyed and wanting to end things if it was a hookup. In a provider-client situation, though, I'd suggest that having an open mind and heart when with someone who seems to be struggling is just part of an escort's job. Unless, of course, you don't want to provide a service to clients like that and simply view your service as giving a "wham bam thank you man" to horny men.