Njguy2

I’ve had this happen. I think I’ve written about it previously but I’ll mention it again here because it’s relevant.
I did an outcall one time to a client and his young daughter was with him when he answered the door. In fact we used the room she had been playing in for the massage. The client had intended we use a garage (integral to the house, a townhouse over 3 stories) but it wasn’t suitable so he moved the session to the ground floor play / tv room. As I was setting up the table he asked her to “go upstairs to mummy while daddy has his massage”….
Once she was gone I checked with him that he understood the nature of the service, as in we’d both be naked and it would include sexual activity and he confirmed all ok. He’d clearly seen my advertising etc so couldn’t have been in doubt but given his wife and daughter were upstairs and knew he was having a massage I did wonder…
What’s worse is he didn’t even lock the door and during the session I could hear them upstairs. I asked him if this was ok and he was adamant we’d not be disturbed.
I didn’t meet the wife, or daughter again fortunately as I think it would be even worse to see them afterwards. The client behaved like it was all routine…maybe it was a turn on for him because it certainly didn’t seem to inhibit him…he was hard as soon as he got naked. 
I really don’t mind if there’s others in an adjacent room. I’m also fine if they know what’s going on. I’ve done live shows and workshops including having full sex and things like being a demo model for the use of sex toys so it’s not a problem to me. I also have clients who are married and they both have massages from me while the other one watches.
However in every situation it’s been agreed beforehand. It’s just polite and respectful to ask, and of course some situations such as the one above where I knew his daughter was upstairs are very disconcerting. He should have told me that might be the case when booking. 
I think that for most people they want discretion and privacy in such situations. If you as a client have any circumstances where your place isn’t going to be private then it’s best to let your provider know then he can decide. The default expectation both ways is of privacy. 


 

Yes you should have told him your roommate was there. Reverse the situation. Would you be comfortable if you were going to his place and unexpectedly found his roommate there?

If I went to someone’s home, expecting to be alone with the person and see that other people are in the house without being told, I too would leave. It would not feel safe. It’s weird that you wouldn’t tell the therapist that you had a roommate or think that you should’ve. Would you have appreciated walking in to the masseur’s studio and encountering a roommate or spouse he failed to mention? 

In my opinion, the issue with deposits is that they only benefit the provider, offering no protection to the client. Deposits place all the risk on the client, creating an undesirable unilateral condition.

You might try exchanging phone numbers, or give him yours. Unless he is being monitored by a pimp or trafficking org, you could work something out by text on Google translate.
I don’t know who is being trafficked and who isn’t, but I think it’s reasonable to assume this guy is either best case underpaid or worst case trafficked, especially in light of the costs of living in NYC. If you keep seeing him at the spa, consider tipping him generously in the room so the tip doesn’t make its way to a potential trafficker’s pocket, and leave another small tip at the front so they are not suspecting funny business. Say you spend $150 total. That’s low for 90 mins in NYC with extras you like. You’re still getting a deal.  You could spend $200 and not be crazy for doing so. More than that will get you into private erotic masseur territory, so maybe not bother with the Asian spa at that point. Something between $150 and $200? What do others think?

Wow and I believed them all when they said they were virgins. 

You’re very strict! I understand why given the model you operate. My model is different so I can go along with it a few times because it doesn’t cause me any hassle (they cancel before the day so I’m not incurring costs etc. By the third time they cancel with some lame excuse I usually say to them that if they’re anxious then to talk to me.
These clients tend to be inhibited, usually not out, often exploring their sexuality. Their chat reveals they have a lot of misconceptions about gay or bi sex. I don’t want to be difficult to them; one day they might actually pluck up the courage to come for a session and that would be fantastic for them. I like helping clients with their sexuality and helping them to be comfortable with their sexuality. Those kind of clients are lovely because they’re so appreciative of what you do for them. 

My experience is that most guys (not all, but most) will offer a "session rate" as @MikeBiDude called it. Typically, I'll ask "what are your rates for one, two, and three hours?" It gives them the opportunity to offer a "session rate" without me having to ask about a "discount." 

Sorry but it’s gone. You fell for his talk. There’s lots of debate on here about deposits, so I won’t add to it but I will say that if you’re given a ‘family crisis’ type story to justify sending money then the best and only sensible thing to do is say “I hope things work out for you” and then end the conversation and find a more professional provider. 

Hello all, this is Matthew, the owner of this profile .. I was, indeed, hacked!  It's absolutely embarrassing the way this person was conducting themselves and I hate one of you lost money, but glad it was only one and it was only $50. Thank you so much to my loyal clients that reached out to let me know about this!! I was not in New York (been at my home in Charlotte, NC since returning from my last trip to Chicago in early March), and they changed the phone number and email - so I wasn't getting any notifications. The support on rent masseur is not great, so I don't understand how this happened! But I was able to recover control and change the password.  I've been in the industry over 8 years now and take pride in my work! Many clients all over the country can attest to this, and I always conduct myself in a professional way! I have not ever required a deposit to see me, my work speaks for itself when you experience my session!! I do have the Venmo name they used and will be reporting it. To the gentleman that unfortunately got scammed by this dead beat - I will gladly credit you this as a discount should we ever meet!
These are the two profiles I have, and it's the same NC phone number on both
mattydeuce on RentMasseur
RENTMASSEUR.COM View my profile on RentMasseur.com  
https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/34915/
 

Hasn't happened in awhile, but if a guy needs to shower, I tell them to shower. 
I'm not precious about it. 
That's the kind of shit a grown adult should know to do before meeting up. 

The massage itself is great so honestly I’m fine either way! I always let him take the lead and enjoy being surprised. Not knowing if it’ll happen or not is part of the fun for me. 
 
I escorted for three years starting in college and a bit after I graduated, and while the line of work wasn’t quite the same I can sort of relate to his side of the business. Work is work ultimately and I wouldn’t take anything personally. 

This is great news…. 
No one wants to be walking around with a hard dick, and then not remember what to actually do with it….. 

You can ask, but don't be shocked if the experience is affected.
It's why I never continue a conversation when someone begins negotiation.  I thank them and move forward.
If you get your price, that's great, but it always going to be the elephant in the room with any escort with decent business sense.

Good bed massages are possible, but most of the guys offering bed massages do not give good massage services. It’s difficult to do so on a bed. More often the bed massage approach is really more of an escort type session. It varies. A table is a sign of professionalism, being intentional, and taking their work seriously. I personally would stick to guys who bring and work on their own tables. 
As for the parking, tough tits. The masseur made the decision to stay in that hotel or that neighborhood. He either isn’t thinking about client convenience when making lodging decisions, or he just doesn’t care. You might infer his attitude and approach extends to his service. If you’re on the fence, I would pass since the chances of him disappointing you are so high at this point.
- OR if he’s really hot to you, consider hiring him for true escort services instead of (or in addition to) massage. Assuming he offers escort service. Yes it’s more money, but the value to you may be much higher and your expectations won’t be shattered when you discover he’s only mediocre at massage. At least you’re still going to have a great time. You can get a great massage from a skilled, if perhaps less attractive, man for a reasonable price any time.
I lived in an historic high rise downtown building in Dallas and occasionally clients had to pay for parking, maybe up to $10. Most of the time they could use the two hour free guest lot on the premises. The few exceptions applied for longer appointments, certain times, or the client preferred the paid lot for security. It made sense for me because my day job was walking distance away and my clients were seeing me traveling dozens of miles in every direction. Being central meant that none of them had to drive a long ways across to the other side of the metro area. Some complained about the parking, even here on the forums. Oh well. If that’s the worst they had to say, I am doing pretty good.
Since then I have taken the feedback and let it inform my choices. I have been very intentional about my studio location. It’s on a residential street in a nice safe neighborhood with ample free parking right in front. It’s new construction. The area is central to my new metro with convenient freeway access. Lots of shopping and restaurants within walking distance too. I pay a significant premium for all these things. The client never pays for parking, never has to walk far along a low traffic street. ATMs from every major bank are a block or two away. Even a gay owned pub and whiskey bar is a block away for clients to enjoy before or after. It’s all by design, to be convenient for the client.
When I travel, I look for the same types of things, with client convenience in mind. I pay a premium for it too. Keep that in mind when you book traveling masseurs. The nicer the experience they provide regarding location, often the more they are paying out of their pocket to visit your city. You want quality.
Be willing to pay for quality, too. A so-so bed massage you pay $200 plus parking for is not the same as a pro massage from a good provider renting a house in a nice neighborhood with space for you to park for free and for him to set up a large table, towel warmer, etc. I argue those things are worth the $200 sticker price, assuming he does good work.
I don’t even charge that much myself. I charge my regular rates when I travel. Currently $150/hr. I stay booked and fill cancellations quickly because my value proposition is high and my cost is low. It’s easy to tip my services, and most do because you aren’t paying top of the budget prices to begin with. It feels better to me when a client willingly pays more to show their appreciation and support of my work. Better for him, better for me!
Please do tell us what you decide and how it goes.

Even if the provider accepts your reduced option, I have to think the massage experience may be cheapened. I would look at the cost as all-in. If you’re not willing to pay the rate plus parking, pass this time until the provider stays at a location that doesn’t have additional expenses. 

I beg to differ.  I think the emotional repression you see in "Fellow Travelers" exactly fits with his character.  He was so deep in the closet, so practiced at it, and so wary of the consequences of even peeking out of the closet that he couldn't get far enough out of it to have a fully emotional relationship with another man.  I think what you saw was Matt Bomer playing exactly the character he was supposed to be. 

Tipping isn’t exactly “mandatory” in the US. 
It’s a “pressured norm” in the US. 

For this very reason, I never schedule 90-minute sessions. You pay massage therapists for their time, so if they short you, you should compensate accordingly. By using the word “relationship” a couple of times in your post, it also sounds like you’ve grown attached to your favorites. At the end of the day though, you’re just a client to them. 90 percent of the masseurs in LA overcharge anyway, so take your hard-earned cash elsewhere if they begin to cut your appointment times short. If you absolutely can’t live without their massage, then bring it up and they should understand. If not, move on!
Again, so many take advantage of the service they’re providing and are getting paid $150+ an hour for just a mediocre massage. I know everyone in LA seems to be millionaires but these guys are making the same per hour as someone on a $300K+ annual salary. For that kind of money, their hands shouldn’t be coming off your body until the 90-min mark.

The one thing I'll say (and then leave it to wild speculation) is that for those of us who have been around or close to intelligence agency employees, this board is not their target market.  This clientele is not their target.
I'd never say 'don't worry at all' and be sloppy, but that's more for those here who have a lot to lose with a family, a wife or conservative career.  Being brought up on charges of human trafficking is highly, highly unlikely at this level.
Sure, it's possible.  But then so is winning Powerball.
 

I validate your points here. Some clients have particular preferences, but most of them don’t. My suggestion: take the initiative to tell your masseur about your preferences upfront. If not in your booking process then shortly after you arrive. The pros will adjust on a dime, at least for any item over which they have control. We can’t read your mind though. Communicate. Don’t like my music? Just say so and I’ll change it!
Aside on lighting. I have two skylights in my studio. I have no option to dim the light from those during the day. I otherwise have only dim mood lighting and I turn on my dimmable recessed ceiling lights to a medium to low level before the massage to make it easy to see and move around, dress/undress and again after the client has had a chance to slowly adjust after their massage. I keep the dimmable lights off during the massage, leaving only a couple table lamps with dark color shades and mood lights. It’s particularly nice at night.
In my experience, the vast majority of clients don’t like making a lot of decisions upon arrival. When I ask too many questions, they tend to get annoyed, antsy, or indecisive. A lot of them have NO preference for any of the items I might mention. They enjoy some brief small talk to connect as they undress and then quickly want to get on the table and feel totally relaxed and ready to enjoy some good therapy. Sometimes I slow them down with a big hug first. I could ask a dozen questions like:
Which room scent do you prefer?
How much pressure?
How much light?
What music do you enjoy?
How is the volume level?
Can I adjust the headrest for you?
Would you like a bolster?
How about a pillow?
Would you like me to be more conversational, or quiet?
Do you have any injuries, sensitivities, or areas you want me to avoid?
Are you ok with your feet being massaged? What about your head? (These are the most common requests to avoid on the body)
Blah, blah, blah…but I don’t. The inquisition could go on and on. And you know what? The default preselected options I already provide for all these items works really well for 95% of everyone seeing me. They either like it as-is, or have no preference anyway. So I just saved some time and client frustration for the 95% by preselecting everything. I don’t even have to ask. The other 5% who have very particular preferences tell me at the beginning, or somewhere along the way, and I adjust. Sometimes it’s after the fact and I just shake my head and say they should have said something. Then I add it to my notes so I will have everything adjusted ahead of time for their next visit.
Much of my approach is about reading the client along the way. For example, if the client seems uncomfortable with the headrest, I will ask about it and offer to adjust. The client sniffles repeatedly, so I offer tissues which I keep close right under the table plus a small trash can. The client responds physically to my pressure in a way that prompts me to ask if the pressure is ok. The client is sensitive when I touch around his underarms or feet or whatever so I ask if he wants me to avoid it. I ask if it’s ok to touch them in an erotic way. I notice a limited range of motion when I bend the knee and ask if it’s ok to continue. I notice the client goes quiet so I stop asking him questions and chatting. The client expresses pleasure when I touch him in a certain way, or a certain area; verbally, with their breath intensity and pace, moans, and the like. Conversely the client winces or tenses up and I ask them about it to make sure they are comfortable and see what I need to change, if anything. I could go on…
Basically I read my clients to prompt my questions and maybe that leads to one or two questions rather than a dozen for every client every time before we start. It saves us both time and energy up top. I like to ask just two general questions of every client:
1) Is there anything about your body I should know before we start?
2) (about 10 mins into the session) How is everything feeling?
The rest comes up by reading the client. 

@Jay_lucas  The business model that a practitioner utilizes doesn't have to be static approach of request deposit/don't request deposit, it can adapt to the market they use as a home base versus when traveling (this shouldn't be rocket science).  In looking at the two major platforms (RentMasseur and RentMen), and conducting a simple profile search of the word "Deposit" only 32 of 4,306 (0.74314909%) of Rentmasseur practitioners and 68 of 10,688 (0.636622%) of Rentmen practitioners outrightly state that a Deposit would be required at some stage of engagement.
Practitioners choose what business model works for them best.   Scanning only a couple of profiles on each, it was clear that for some of the practitioners it wasn't required in all instances and for others it was a hard and fast rule.   Note there maybe other practitioners that utilize phrasing in place of "Deposit" but I don't think that would move the numbers much.   Good luck with the search of practitioners that meet your needs.   As for myself, a practitioner who would require a deposit isn't the business model I prefer.

^Agree. This is work for us, NOT a vacation. Part of that work is making it seem as though it is. A true vacation to me is going where I want, with who I want, when I want, and I am paying for it with my own money because I value and choose everything about the experience and do not have to perform anything for anyone, or be beholden to anyone for my time or attention or sex.
Good for you @Thelatin for finding an arrangement with two guys you like for such a relatively low cost. I understand it may be a big total dollar amount out of your pocket for the three days, but it’s actually a low fee per day per person when you break it down. If it works for them and for you, great. For me, I stand to make the same or more over three days taking several clients without having to entertain nearly 24/7, so the economics of it make less sense for me.
I couldn’t do a “vacation”, however glamorous it may be, for $500/day… I currently charge $500 for two hours which my good clients regularly pay without hesitation. I charge $1k for five hours. Some of my select long term loyal clients I will do more like 7-8 hours +/- for $1k. That’s in line with what you’re paying for TWO guys, and you’re getting the extra benefit of nearly 24/7 company from each. Wowza.
The meals and drinks, etc are not part of our compensation, by the way. Sure it costs you and it feels like you’re treating us, but that’s just a necessary and customary cost of longer term hiring. Feeling like you’re treating us is part of the emotional benefit to you. Not that we don’t enjoy food, beverages, sometimes gifts and so on, but we can’t pay our bills with meals and drinks we consume with our client or an article of clothing he buys for us during an afternoon out. All of these things are for the benefit of the client, to enrich his overall experience, to make him feel great, as much as some of it is a practical matter for us. We all have to eat.
All that said, I really enjoy longer term hires. The best ones are clients with whom I’ve built up a good working relationship over many shorter hires. They say it’s worth every penny and more. It’s like giving someone the best day (weekend, week, whatever) of their life. Or at least the best day they have had in a long time. For some, it’s once. For others, it’s once a month. For all, it’s special.

I'm in England but love to travel around Europe, particularly Eastern Europe.
Bucharest is a fantastic city- interesting architecture in a number of styles, the biggest spa in Europe (Therme), great day trips (Carpathian Mountains, Bran Castle, Peles Castle), friendly people, much cheaper than the bigger/Western European cities. I've not been since the war in Ukraine so I don't know how much that has affected things. Timisoara, another city in Romania, is just beautiful.
Glasgow is a fun city, a bit rough around the edges, and for my money more interesting than Edinburgh. Not that Edinburgh is a bad city, just a bit more sedate. If you're looking at Scotland though, you need to see the scenery- the Isles, Glencoe etc. I love Loch Leven and there's a lovely little hotel by the waterside and an incredible seafood cafe very close.
Vienna is a fantastic choice. Loads to see and do. It's very close to Bratislava, a city I adore. Easy journey by train and even nicer is the catamaran trip along the Danube.
There's lots of interesting cities in Eastern Europe to consider,: Ljubljana, Riga, Vilnius, Kaunas, before you get to the heavy hitters of Prague and Budapest.
Reykjavik is incredible but quite pricey. Blue Lagoon is closed just now but the Sky Lagoon is just as good.
Athens if you've not been before.
Istanbul is amazing.
My favourite is Malta. It has it all- architecture, food, scenery, beaches, friendly people and English is one of their official languages if that's a concern. There's a friendly gay scene in Valetta although it's small as you'd expect.
Enjoy your trip.