Question re HE Ending

[asiantwunktop]

Feeling kinda dumb asking this but I’m pretty new to the gay massage thing. Found an Asian HE massage place in NYC by accident - masseur at a men’s spa kept grazing my bits and I got hard, and he ended up taking care of it. Super efficient handjob. Was totally hooked and went back again, same thing. 

 

For context, I’m an Asian guy in my 20’s. I’m signed with a modeling agency (most commercial work and some beauty campaigns, I’m too short for fashion lol), whatever - I could find someone on Grindr but something about this is hot to me. The masseur looks around my age, also Asian. Most of the clientele I’ve seen passing in and out are older, maybe 40’s-60’s. 

 

I went back a third time today, things went a little differently. The guy started playing with me earlier on and more aggressively. When it was time to turn over, he started stripping, complaining that it was getting too hot in the room. He took my hands and encouraged me to touch his body, and I ended up sucking on his nipples and tasting his cock a bit. He ended things the usual way, only difference is I was playing with his hole when I came. He got in really close and stroked my face and gave me a little kiss, and then it was over. 

 

Is this standard? Should I be flattered? I always assumed this stuff was just standard jerking but I definitely got more than I bargained for. And my biggest question (lmao) was I supposed to tip more than usual? I already tip 40% because he’s cute and I know you’re supposed to give extra at these places, but I wasn’t sure if the hands-on perks meant I was supposed to give more. Appreciate any insights on this. 

[Boaxxx]

First, lucky you. Second, 40% is plenty IMHO. You must be quite the looker. 😉

 

[asiantwunktop]

15 minutes ago, Boaxxx said:

First, lucky you. Second, 40% is plenty IMHO. You must be quite the looker. 😉

 

Thanks for the input! I did think more than 40% would be pushing it, as much as I enjoy him. And shucks, guess I’ll take it as a compliment then 🫠

[Boaxxx]

1 minute ago, asiantwunktop said:

Thanks for the input! I did think more than 40% would be pushing it, as much as I enjoy him. And shucks, guess I’ll take it as a compliment then 🫠

Was it the same guy each time?

[asiantwunktop]

24 minutes ago, Boaxxx said:

Was it the same guy each time?

Yes, I should’ve clarified - it’s the same guy. Obviously taste is subjective but I think he’s the cutest guy there so I always ask for him. 

[viewing ownly]

What you described looks standard to me. You're known to be a very generous tipper, and the person you see appreciates you for that, and is comfortable to be doing more with you as a client. However, understand that you are at a place of massage, and are fortunate that you're getting a nice bonus with your experience, so if out of the blue you just get a massage only, don't get angry, just find somewhere else to go!

[PaulM]

This is more typical once you’ve established a rapport with the therapist.  You two are obviously comfortable with each other and things may continue to escalate as you go back for more massages.  However, never expect anything and you won’t be disappointed.  You may go back and have a “normal” massage and ending.  Don’t take it personally- could be an off day, or the therapist has other things on his mind, etc.  Remember , it’s a business transaction and 99.9% of the time does not turn into anything outside the room…..try not to mistake it for anything other than that and just enjoy the time spent together.  

Edited April 8 by PaulM

[+ sniper]

If it was 40% of 60 bucks, it was woefully inadequate. 

If you still only tipped 40% after the escalation, it's going to go one of two ways next time...either he's just really into you and it will continue or you disappointed him monetarily and he's going to dial it back.

From your description it's not impossible he's just into you and that's not normally on the agenda.

 

[asiantwunktop]

23 minutes ago, PaulM said:

This is more typical once you’ve established a rapport with the therapist.  You two are obviously comfortable with each other and things may continue to escalate as you go back for more massages.  However, never expect anything and you won’t be disappointed.  You may go back and have a “normal” massage and ending.  Don’t take it personally- could be an off day, or the therapist has other things on his mind, etc.  Remember , it’s a business transaction and 99.9% of the time does not turn into anything outside the room…..try not to mistake it for anything other than that and just enjoy the time spent together.  

The massage itself is great so honestly I’m fine either way! I always let him take the lead and enjoy being surprised. Not knowing if it’ll happen or not is part of the fun for me. 
 

I escorted for three years starting in college and a bit after I graduated, and while the line of work wasn’t quite the same I can sort of relate to his side of the business. Work is work ultimately and I wouldn’t take anything personally. 

[asiantwunktop]

15 minutes ago, sniper said:

If it was 40% of 60 bucks, it was woefully inadequate. 

If you still only tipped 40% after the escalation, it's going to go one of two ways next time...either he's just really into you and it will continue or you disappointed him monetarily and he's going to dial it back.

From your description it's not impossible he's just into you and that's not normally on the agenda.

 

It’s $60 for an hour but the first time he asked if I’d like to stay an extra 30 minutes, which came out to about $90. I tipped $40. The second time was the same; the third time with the “extras,” I wasn’t sure what to do and gave him the usual. Honestly I’m fine with just the massage and the standard jerk - he’s great at it. Would hate to think I stiffed him on the tip, though. I don’t like under-tipping anyone in general, and I’ve gotten fond of him. 

[soloyo215]

On 4/7/2024 at 11:07 PM, asiantwunktop said:

Is this standard?

Nothing is, there are no specific rules for what goes on in those rooms, or how far a provider will go. Feel good if you feel good, set boundaries if it doesn't feel right. The provider will do the same.

On 4/7/2024 at 11:07 PM, asiantwunktop said:

Should I be flattered?

Yes, in my opinion. Seems like the provider either likes you or wants a larger tip.

On 4/7/2024 at 11:07 PM, asiantwunktop said:

And my biggest question (lmao) was I supposed to tip more than usual? I already tip 40% because he’s cute and I know you’re supposed to give extra at these places, but I wasn’t sure if the hands-on perks meant I was supposed to give more.

Scratch the part about the larger tip. "Supposed to", I do not know. I can only speak for my experience. What I do when I feel that the provider has gone the extra mile (or the extra inch, rather), I do tip more. However, a 40% tip is a little high. It might be that the provider might be taking it as you wanting more for a higher than usual tip, or again, maybe he just likes you. Since it's a 40% tip, personally that's quite high. Use your discretion, enjoy, but don't go bankrupt over it.

Edited April 10 by soloyo215

[Simon Suraci]

19 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

However, a 40% tip is a little high.

^Not for your typical Asian spa place. They are inexpensive to begin with and on top of that, the individual guys working on you are making only a fraction of the fee.

Compare their work and fees to an independent masseur in the same area. NYC is expensive for either avenue spa vs independent when compared to most of the country. If the spa charges you less than $100 for an hour of massage AND you’re getting gratuitous extras, I’d say 40% is still a very modest tip. Consider tipping more.

What is appropriate depends on what the spa is charging in the first place. A low starting fee absolutely justifies heavy tipping, and the Asian massage places typically charge under market for comparable services. This is also a reason to be wary, since some of them rely on human trafficking labor and that is why they can charge so little.

A high starting fee is a different story. Some spas are only paying their employees 40% of the fee, but it varies. Consider that when you tip too. Another option is to offer to hire the guy you like privately off the spa clock. You’re not supposed to, but this happens all the time and the spa is none the wiser. 

@asiantwunktop what is the spa charging you for their services? For example, a 60 min massage?

[asiantwunktop]

58 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

^Not for your typical Asian spa place. They are inexpensive to begin with and on top of that, the individual guys working on you are making only a fraction of the fee.

Compare their work and fees to an independent masseur in the same area. NYC is expensive for either avenue spa vs independent when compared to most of the country. If the spa charges you less than $100 for an hour of massage AND you’re getting gratuitous extras, I’d say 40% is still a very modest tip. Consider tipping more.

What is appropriate depends on what the spa is charging in the first place. A low starting fee absolutely justifies heavy tipping, and the Asian massage places typically charge under market for comparable services. This is also a reason to be wary, since some of them rely on human trafficking labor and that is why they can charge so little.

A high starting fee is a different story. Some spas are only paying their employees 40% of the fee, but it varies. Consider that when you tip too. Another option is to offer to hire the guy you like privately off the spa clock. You’re not supposed to, but this happens all the time and the spa is none the wiser. 

@asiantwunktop what is the spa charging you for their services? For example, a 60 min massage?

The trafficking element has been weighing on my mind lately, which is partially why I was wondering if the “extras” are standard - something in the vein of if he’s engaging with me for fun or at least of his own volition then he’s hopefully working there of his own free will. I know when I escorted I was definitely more generous with clients I liked. (I understand at this point that there really isn’t an industry standard haha)

They charge me $100 for 90 minutes, and I tip $40. I have considered hiring my guy privately, too, to make sure he pockets all of the money. Language barrier makes that a little tricky but I can figure something out (I only speak Korean (badly) and French (fluently, to everyone’s confusion)). 

 

[LookingAround]

That’s a very low tip. 

[Simon Suraci]

16 minutes ago, asiantwunktop said:

They charge me $100 for 90 minutes, and I tip $40. I have considered hiring my guy privately, too, to make sure he pockets all of the money. Language barrier makes that a little tricky but I can figure something out (I only speak Korean (badly) and French (fluently, to everyone’s confusion)). 

You might try exchanging phone numbers, or give him yours. Unless he is being monitored by a pimp or trafficking org, you could work something out by text on Google translate.

I don’t know who is being trafficked and who isn’t, but I think it’s reasonable to assume this guy is either best case underpaid or worst case trafficked, especially in light of the costs of living in NYC. If you keep seeing him at the spa, consider tipping him generously in the room so the tip doesn’t make its way to a potential trafficker’s pocket, and leave another small tip at the front so they are not suspecting funny business. Say you spend $150 total. That’s low for 90 mins in NYC with extras you like. You’re still getting a deal.  You could spend $200 and not be crazy for doing so. More than that will get you into private erotic masseur territory, so maybe not bother with the Asian spa at that point. Something between $150 and $200? What do others think?

[soloyo215]

On 4/10/2024 at 4:19 PM, Simon Suraci said:

^Not for your typical Asian spa place. They are inexpensive to begin with and on top of that, the individual guys working on you are making only a fraction of the fee.

Compare their work and fees to an independent masseur in the same area. NYC is expensive for either avenue spa vs independent when compared to most of the country. If the spa charges you less than $100 for an hour of massage AND you’re getting gratuitous extras, I’d say 40% is still a very modest tip. Consider tipping more.

What is appropriate depends on what the spa is charging in the first place. A low starting fee absolutely justifies heavy tipping, and the Asian massage places typically charge under market for comparable services. This is also a reason to be wary, since some of them rely on human trafficking labor and that is why they can charge so little.

A high starting fee is a different story. Some spas are only paying their employees 40% of the fee, but it varies. Consider that when you tip too. Another option is to offer to hire the guy you like privately off the spa clock. You’re not supposed to, but this happens all the time and the spa is none the wiser. 

@asiantwunktop what is the spa charging you for their services? For example, a 60 min massage?

Good to know. Learned something new. Thanks.

This is why I keep it in I statements.

Edited April 13 by soloyo215