soloyo215

Excellent point, and I don't disagree. I didn't intend to neither put down those who actually volunteer, nor to refer to specific individuals. I'm talking about the culture, which allows for more generalizations. No way am I suggesting that there aren't any youth who are doing a wonderful job at volunteering, especially those who I've seen at pet shelters.

There has been a shift in culture in that sense (IMO). Many young people seem to think that ranting online about the environment, being disorderly in marches and displaying similar behavior online and offline is what volunteering and activism are. Also, a lot of the inititatives are now sponsored by private companies for PR purposes (which don't do much for the community, especially long-term), and (at least in my city) there have been protests and activism against non-profit organizations that are supposed to help communities and not only aren't, but they have discriminated against the communities that they are supposed to serve. Some of those places now have questionable reputations. The older generations can still volunteer, but I have seen (in my circle, at least), a lot of disappointment, and an attitude that they are the ones in need, so they perceive volunteering as taking away from their own needed resources.

Looks expensive and he doesn't list any certification, experience or massage training.

Kind of. I think that masseurfinder tend to have more therapeutic-only masseurs, but I have seen that site used as cover for those providers who want to keep their offering of extra$ on the down-low. I believe both sites allow advertising of providers who don't have any formal training or experience, so in that sense, they are both freestyle.

Hello. Welcome to the forum. I can only speak for my experience. The massage parlors I've been to in NYC are more full of young masseurs who look exactly as you describe them. I myself, prefer people who are not in their 20s. Here are my thoughts: Yes, it's possible to find a masseur who is more mature. However, that doesn't guarantee a great experience. One of my worst experiences getting massages was with a mature man who was quite unprofessional (though not at a massage parlor). It's possible to make a request when calling. I went to the East Men Spa recently, and I got a masseur who was in his 40s, and I got a great experience with him (massage only, didn't offer extras, and I didn't ask for extras). I didn't ask for a masseur of a certain age at that time, but they had him, and he was great. The other Spas I've been to have offered young (or young looking) men. As masseurs, I have received a range of experiences in terms of the quality of the massage. That means that you can get a good massage experience with a young, well-trained man, and you can get a horrible massage from an older man. My suggestion is to just call and ask. So far when I've made specific requests they have been able to accommodate (though sometimes it has taken time). So some places are willing to work with your requests and accommodate within reason. I forgot which facility had this gentleman, who is in his mid 40s, provides a great massage, provides extras (and as a side note, if you are into men's size, he will not disappoint you). I booked him in private, but I saw him listed as part of the staff in one of the places, (but now I can't remember or find it). It is not a black-and-white thing. No one can't tell that it's not possible to find a masseur who can fulfill your requirements. It is a matter of more likeliness. In my opinion, you can just reach out and inquire. There's nothing to lose by just asking. Those are places of business, and I'm sure that they want to cater to all clients who they can make money of. If you find what you're looking for, I'd be interested to know.

I did work at my local MLK Day of Service several times. This year I was away in a different city. I have volunteered plenty in my lifetime and at this point I feel that the younger generation seems ready to take the reigns. I agree that there should be more people involved in volunteering in general.

Your Man in Arlington brought a point related to geography. Snow hasn't slowed me down because I live and work in cities with transportation that runs in spite of snow. I imagine that people who need to drive might have to consider the transportation issue during the snow. I think the providers might have more accurate info. I wonder if they get more bookings, more cancellations or both.

I don't see myself having any of that done, but I don't hate them. Like every fashion trend, some look really good, some look really bad.

Lat year I had my first one, so in my 50s I only have one but plan to get another one to cover a scar, next year. I haven't, I just started. I only have one that I just retouched, so no. I think that the tattoo thing has evolved from what it used to be. People seem to be more open to not judge people with tattoos, as before. I mean, I remember once hearing some radio evangelist trashing and bashing people with tattoos, stating that people who have then are these lost, empty souls who now belong to Satan, or something to that effect. It was just disgusting hearing that. The newer generations seem to be more accepting of them and less stigmatizing about it (just my observation and experience).

They should make a documentary about a day in your life.

Loved that episode. Well made. And I agree about people giving too much weight to reviews that can't be fully objective, can be quite inaccurate and can be fake.

Personal attacks and replies to them are not a "varies story and nuance". That is always unnecessary, even within the topic. I'm keeping it real myself.

Pass.

Yes, definitely. I posted before about my trip to Spain last September, where I was in a mainstream hotel, and booked a massage. I was asked if I wanted a massage from a "chica or chico" (girl or boy) and I said chico. I wasn't expecting anything to happen other than a nice relaxing massage after using the pool and sauna at the place. Boy, was I wrong! We almost break the massage table. It was surprising since the whole event didn't look like it was going to be conducive to sex. I also am one of those who sometimes want the massage and the extras, and sometimes I am more interested in the extras than the massage, though not always. In fact, there have been times when I've been offered a HE and I've declined. Like Sam Miller, I look online to see if I can get a sense of the provider or place being willing to offering extras. I like having the option and decline if it doesn't feel right for me at the time.

I guess this thread just went down the drain over a fart. Like a fart, to me, that discussion has been released and dissolved in the air. So I'll try to get back to the original intend of this thread, which is about terrible, less that wow providers. In the past I posted about providers that gave me horrible experiences, but they are no longer advertising. Hopefully they are out of business. But I do want to mention my experience with this masseur, which, by the way, the massage was excellent. He was very skilled in that respect, but his behavior and the overall experience wasn't too professional. First, there was the music. He seem to have the free version of streaming music, and a few times while I was in "the zone", my happy place was disrupted by some loud car insurance commercial. That killed the mood twice. The second thing was it seems like he liked or something because he seemed to have some kind of excuse to touch or talk about my penis. At some point he rubbed the tip of my penis claiming that I was "leaking" (I wasn't, never been a pre-cum person, nor do I have any prostate issues, plus I am quite sure I'd knew if I wasn't). Then he talked about my penis twice, pretending that he was doing some kind of narrating while massaging me (I have experienced professional narrating during the massage before and it's been ok). After the massage, he started inquiring if I'm married, and invited me to happy hour at a bar where he hangs out. Nothing wrong with that, but his tone and body language was what came across to me as predatory. I felt more molested and relaxed afterwards, even though he is a skilled masseuse. So to me, good massage skills is only one thing that needs to be considered to have a good experience. All the other elements of the experience are as important.

Thanks. That's the vibe I got. I wonder why the sign says just "Men Spa" instead of "Morning Dew". How was Jeff?

I looked for threads on this place and couldn't find any. I found threads about HK Men's Spa and 27 Spa, but not this one. I am in NYC this weekend, and discovered a place named Men Spa in the West Village. Has anyone heard of it? The thing is this: I was at the facilities, but not necessarily to the Spa, although I was at the Spa for the massage. OK, I went to RM and found this guy I wanted to try, and he gave me his address. The address was to that Men Spa, that apparently he uses after it closes or something (I hope I'm not getting him in trouble). So I saw him there and he told me that the place is a spa that is open 7 days a week. Looks like a new place. So even though I was there tonight, but not in the capacity of a client to that Spa, I'm also curious to find out more about that place. Has anyone been to that place. It's around 7th Av and Perry Street. I searched to see if there are other threads about it, but didn't find any.

And?

He looks like he's from South Philly.

I am not trying to top anyone (that way). Just came to post that I find that fascinating.

For that, I have a husband.

You shouldn't be. Taking down the profile and coming up with a new one is actually a practice that I have seen several providers incurring in. An honest, objective review is precisely the purpose of having reviews in the website, not for others to be mislead to believe that every single client is satisfied with the service. I don't necessarily believe a specific good/bad review, but I do get a good idea of what to expect when I read all or most reviews, mostly because I started seeing patterns and themes. If you get a bad experience, it is ok to give a bad review. However, it's always going to be subjective. Some people consider a "bad experience" things that are not important at all to others. So your review might be influential to those who just take them as factual information, or who will think that they will have the exact same experience. I gave bad reviews to two providers, one of them was a terrible experience, terrible massage, terrible facilities, terrible atmosphere (the Steve Wilkos show in the backgrounbd) and discovered a camera pointing at me. There's no way that I would have given a good review simply because he might come back to me complaining. The other one was also a bad and unprofessional experience, there were people passing by as I was receiving the massage, and the place was a mess, not to mention how bad the massage was. The first bad review guy disappeared, is no longer in the website, and the second guy changed his profile several times, then disappeared. It's not ok to give a good review if you didn't get the desired experience. However, I know well that some people can't provide meaningful reviews, so it's not that people will/should take your review as law.

I think that the rules should be defined by the people involved. It's not that there's some ordinances or actual regulatory agency to enforce them. My husband and I do not just isolate our rules and boundaries to relationships with others or sex outside our marriage. Our approach is more holistic. Only one rule: be responsible and act responsibly in every aspect of your life. That means, we both have to trust that we are going to make responsible decisions about everything, ourselves as individuals, our lives, our relationship, our finances, our personal safety, eveything. I approach all my decisions from having a sense of responsibility towards me as an individual, me as a member of my family, as a professional, as a friend, as a citizen, and as a lover, so I'm not going to do anything that will place myself or my loved ones in harms way, or will hurt them. We've been together for 21 years and so far, I've never needed to discussed any of his flings or who he gets involved with. Neither of us are interested in bringing another person to our relationship in a romantic way, and he hates threesomes (don't know why), so we have our things outside of our marriage. Sometimes we share about it, sometimes we don't. I just trust he's an adult who will know how to handle situations and people as they appear. Polyamory is supposed to involve formal relationships, that is, involving decisions about living situation, fiances and emotional support. That's how I understand polyamory. However, I just live and let live, so if people consider themselves polyamory outside of those parameters, I'm nobody to judge (unless they want me or my husband involved).

I think that releasing that list (which I agree, at best it will be heavily redacted) is more for the public's morbid pleasure of knowing something, and with some kind of agenda attached to it, probably with the intent of creating controversi for the media to have yet another field day of "experts" giving opinions about it. It's just a show and it says nothing to me, other than what I already know which is that there are people who can afford the luxury of paying for inappropriate sexual relationships.

I have experienced providers recording me without my permission, at least twice. And that is when I have noticed. I don't like to ask, nor do I like being asked about it. Personally I don't need mementos of my encounters, but I certainly dislike the feeling that I might be recorded without my permission.