soloyo215

Now that's the Florida I know.

The masseur is in control of how far things go, which is why it costs us, clients, less. However, in my experience, there's no specific rule or "protocol" that I know of. How things go can vary by country. In USA, RentMasseur had the option for providers to offer erotic massages, which can clear the path to further communication. Back then I asked for that option, and depending on something (my mood, I guess), I'd ask for certain things right away (such as if he could massage me undressed - never got a no). In other instances, I felt his body close to me during the massage, and I'd give hints of interest in more. His reaction will determine if I'd go further. I am respectful of boundaries if it doesn't. In that situation, several things have happened: (1) things evolve silently and as it becomes less massage and more extra, (2) a change in direction and back to massage [annoying and makes me feel rejected, but oh well]. (3) the masseur inquires if I'm interested in more since he's also interested in more [that is, $] too. I initiate when I know that it has been talked about before the appointment in the first communication, and also when I feel his body close and touching me (I take that as an invitation). I do it physically, rarely I say anything. I also initiate when I know that he also has a RM profile, which to me implies that he's open to more (of course, for more). He initiates when we both start naked, or when I don't have a full idea of what to expect, when the initial communication is not fully clear. What others have said cannot be emphasized more. Let him do his job. Things will evolve. Not sure if this helps. This is just my experience.

Some idiots convince themselves that vaping isn't smoking, so yes, it doesn't surprise me that something like what you wrote happens. I've heard people talking that nonsense, I have witnessed, and also have witnessed people vaping in places where smoking isn't allowed because "I'm not smoking, I'm vaping", having to get thrown out by security.

Odd question. If a person asks me that I'd really recommend him to get his vision checked. Questions: Do you look, move or act like a law enforcement officer? Or maybe there was something in the conversation that made him think that you were looking for certain information? Hopefully it's not like he's developing some kind of paranoia.

My two cents: "Ask me" in my experience has meant willing to do things, but for an additional charge. Seems like a way of up-selling extras. I'm sure that's not the case with all, but that was my experience.

Ensuring that you're not getting ripped off is not being an asshole. That said, I've found no specific best rule or best practice. Any action around how payment goes always carry a risk, IMO. So far it's been only one person who asked for cash upfront that turned out to be a terrible experience. I was new to this whole hiring thing and didn't know better. Asking for cash upfront was not the red flag, or at least not the biggest. The subject of cash upfront has rarely come up, in my experience. When it does I've stated that I prefer to pay after and the provider had agreed. Can't comment on overnight or weekend-long services.

There is a way. It's called a profile.

Which?

Sad to hear. Doesn't bother me whatever people decide to call a person's death, for as long as it's respectful.

I'm so sorry to hear. My condolences.

I've known that they sell way more than coats since way back when I was able to get curtains. Quality everything in USA has been degrading for decades now too. No surprises there either.

Posting the link doesn't violate copyright. That has been discussed and decided in courts for decades, mostly around sites that provided links for downloading pirate copies of software and media, but it applies to most-to-all posted links. Case closed. About the picture, I don't know. Probably. I haven't read the fine print of the sites where they post them. It is a private site, and the user agreement might involved acceptable use of the images used, though it might be around releasing responsibility from the site if people use them for other purposes.

When I was young and hooked up with other men, sometimes I not only gave a different name, but created a complete persona, different work, different type of family, I even faked accents, or faked that I wasn't proficient in the language I was speaking. Other than getting a cheap thrill out of it, I had no reason to fake my name (at least consciously). I'm sharing this just to say that there might not be a deep, complex reason for not wanting to give his real name. Aside from the standard having something to hide and a lot to lose, sometimes it's just a way of detaching from the work and keeping his personal life personal. Good connection or not, the provider might still see it as work-related, and not part of his personal life. Just my thoughts.

Out of curiosity, do those people who ghost you are of certain age range, on the younger side? I'm inquiring because I work close to people who do HR things (hiring, posting jobs, etc.) and it seems like ghosting people have become common by company HR people after conducting interviews with candidates, sometimes at the time when they are about to or promise that they will make an offer. I'm not an expert in that area, but what I hear is that the newer generation of hiring managers are incurring in similar practice that they do in social media. And by the way, I've heard about that ghosting thing in hookup sites, in social media and even in private forums like this one. I have been ghosted, but I don't take it on me or my looks or anything about me. Some people are just jerks. Regarding sending pictures, I have a couple of times, but normally I don't. Didn't get ghosted when I sent my pictures, and got ghosted in communication where I was never asked for one.

I don't have a clever name for those, but reading your post makes me wonder if there is a market for that type of "service". What I'm thinking of is when I was young, the way some men approached me (sometimes offering me money, sometimes not) seems like they would have been happy with a person who can't care less because the client can't care less either (about interacting or what/how the person is doing). There are social hookups that seem to be similar, where one person or both don't necessarily have any interest in interacting with the other person. In a provider/client setting, it's quite unprofessional to act that way if the provider is offering something and not delivering. Now we are stepping into not meeting clients' expectations. If that's the case, I'd also go with "unprofessionals", I like that term.

I'm sorry that happened, but I'm, glad to read that you didn't lose money or more time. There are plenty more out there. There are some providers (and non-providers, for that matter) that are too used to lie to get out of something. I've known people that compulsively tells whatever comes to mind to get out of a commitment, even if it doesn't make sense. I agree with dodging a bullet. Best.

Yes, with a provider and in other settings. Terrible thing.

Well said, and thank you for sharing this. Those words I quoted I found to be your most powerful words. I personally live and let live. That said, both sides of the coin do exist. Opportunistic young men trying to get older men's money are real, and are out there. Manipulators, hagglers and people who love taking advantage of the elderly do exist, and they are real. So I don't attack either side, those who are legitimately in love with each other in spite of age (or socioeconomic status), and those who are in it for what they can get. We are all living in the same planet.

I agree, yes. Sex is not viewed by many as anything healthy, leave alone making it legal to sell it. Unfortunately, this is where we are in the United States. I also don't believe for a second that the raid has anything to do with fighting illegal activity.

Other than letting them know as soon as they start slipping into that pattern, I don' think that there's much else to do. It's their behavior and business. They should not be taking their customers for granted that way. DrownedBoy brought good points about certain behaviors being the result of getting too comfortable (I'm paraphrasing and interpreting) and being inexperienced. In the past I have ended relationships with providers because their behavior have changed, and not for the better. I have let them know that I do have expectations every time. Drug use and mental health can impact the work that they do.

I'll never be the same at a wedding reception.

I agree on both points. I am living proof that there are changes in attitudes. 20 years ago it was unthinkable for me to have a tattoo. Regarding people's treatment of their distaste for tattoos as "despicable monsters" as you put it, that's fairly common with all kinds of other preferences, from race, age, height, body type, to circumcision status, you name it. Never understood the "strong emotions" around certain things.

Yes, of course. I was only pointing at the people who my community deemed as "street people".

I come from both a religious background and a generation that associated tattoos with "street people". Used to be that only certain sectors of the population had them. They used to symbolize some kind of gang, having served prison time, and people with tattoos were part of circus attractions as something extremely exotic. I believe that there are remnants of those views on tattoos today, along with social and religious stigma, associated with certain behaviors. Of course, there's the matter of personal preference. My personal views have changed to the point that I have one now on my left arm. Having a tattoo or two is not a deal breaker to me. However, having face tattoos, and having the head, neck and face areas covered with many, especially to the point where the face is no longer a face but a canvas, that makes me react. My reaction normally is "Why on Earth?" not one of rejection. Under the tattoo is a human being, even if he doesn't do it for me as a provider.

Back to the original topic, to me it's a red flag when there are way too many of those "pet peeves". It's like those personal adds where some have more of half of it stating "no this, no that, be this, be that, have this, don't bring that", ad nauseam. I'm not sure how many of those are too many, but at some point the provider might start coming across as demanding or off-putting for having so many preferences or "requirements". If they remain in business is because there are some clients who are ok with those pet peeves.