soloyo215

Just venting, I guess. I've always know that as a traveler, I have to be very careful about who I choose to travel with. Being a good friend (or family, of course) does not mean that you will be a good travel companion for me. I am currently on vacation in a rather luxurious resort, definitely out of my budget (how I managed to pay for it is another post) in the Dominican Republic. The facilities are only 4 months old, so everything is brand new. We even have a butler assigned to our entire stay. Excellent Caribbean weather, amazing dining, activities and shows. The thing is that I am traveling with my in-laws and my husband. Six people altogether, one married sister in law and her husband and his two single sisters. I've been to many parts of the world with my husband, and he's worked in the travel industry since 1980, so he's an experienced traveler. My in-laws however, are making my point of how much I fucking hate traveling with groups. Yesterday I had a great day. Normally husband and I take a day for self-care, so we did that yesterday. We went to the resort spa, got haircuts, got pedicures, etc. It was great. In the evening we decided to have dinner with the group, and it turned out to be such a miserable event. Hypochondriac sister in law shows up in a wheelchair because she apparently "can't walk". Did the same number at the airport but walked perfectly fine when she thought nobody was watching. Her conversation was about how miserable her stay has been since "she's sick" and "allergic" to everything that happens to be offered to her, except the butler's cock, since she's been ridiculously coming on to him since day one (he's the one pushing the wheelchair, how seductive!). The husband of my other sister in law was pissed because during breakfast, they went to a restaurant that had a dress code and he had a tank-top, and was turned away. He went on and on and on about how much he's "paying for premium service" and not getting what he paid for. Then he complained that they didn't clean the room. He spent the day in the room and never set the button for the maid to clean the room, but that doesn't matter. He's not supposed to do anything and the staff "must know" that it's ok to clean the room with him in it. He was finding everything wrong in every single thing that they did, served or said during dinner. Being the only one able to speak Spanish, I told the servers that he's pissed and looking for an excuse to snap. Finally he wanted to go through some door in the restaurant and couldn't for some reason, so he started yelling at everyone, making a scene about opening "the fucking door". The other sister in law has some kind of mental disability that impairs her cognitive skills, so she has to be explain things ten times. Then she tell the server that she's allergic to garlic, and we are in an Italian restaurant. So it took forever to first find something she can order and then prepare it without garlic. Husband and I just decided to ignore everything and have our own side conversation about our wonderful day. Then there's the fact that there's almost nothing for gay men here. This area has very little for us. Our massages were done by women, and my husband told me that his masseuse did find a way of touching his balls. I guess mine knew better. I've been looking for anything to do or anyone to hire, but nothing. Next to the resort they offer "massages" by some shady characters, they cost about 10% of what we paid for the massage in the resort, and they are done outside in a balcony of sort, where they have about 10 tables next to each other. When I asked if they have a private room for massages, they seem to understand that I wanted a HE, which I was on the fence on, but then they said that they have about 5 different Haitian women for me to choose from for the HE massage. Having been in this country several times I know better than bluntly asking for a male masseur, so I left it at that, plus the place looked too seedy. So here I am looking stupid, in a luxury hotel, but rather bored and avoiding the group I was supposed to have fun with. I proposed taking tours and they declined, so I know that I have to change my mindset and have the different type of fun that one has during certain types of vacation. If anyone knows anything about providers in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic, please let me know. I only found one provider in RM, and he's not a good fit.

Yes, it's a little rude in my opinion. Plus if that's what's in his mind, it can give you an idea of how it might go. He might want to give you Dollar Store treatment.

My guess is that the premise is that once you meet him, and once you get to see his wonderful personality or other attributes, you will be so charmed that you'll overlook the fact that the picture is deceitful. Another guess is that they are in denial, as it happen with people who keep wearing 90s clothing because they looked good in it back then. They convince themselves that that's how they still look. Another guess is poor self-image, too afraid of showing how they really look. I don't see any of them as good/bad, more as a "you decide how to deal with it yourself" thing.

No, but following. He's handsome.

To say the least. Seriously, look into that people pleasing thing (trust me, I know a lot about it). It can get you killed one day. I don't have any Grindr horror stories because I've never been in it, precisely because of what I just read, and because I prefer in-person meeting people. Of course, nowadays it's almost impossible, but I am part of that almost.

The first thing that came to mind was "No shit!" I try to be sensitive, but in my experience there are very few bisexuals who really enjoy sex with both genders. There are many who use it as a way of doing precisely what you describe and attribute it to their sexual orientation, which to me sounds more like an excuse for them to make money doing the minimum, or to disassociate from what they are actually doing. Others just use it as a marketing strategy, stemming from the premise that bi and straight are supposed to be more desirable and consequently bring more business. I honestly thing that we should always try to be thorough when we see a profile that we like. I personally try not to be blinded by the things I like reading about and ignore the ones that might be red flags or signs of possible dissatisfaction down the line. That scrutiny should be with all people we see as potential hirings. I'd think is other than sexual orientation, there's more that those providers have in common. That will give me a better picture of what I tend to gravitate towards. Of course, easier said than done when you see a profile of a person who looks really nice. I find your post interesting. Thanks for sharing this.

Not an expert, but as a consumer, I'd suggest to think about what makes people interested. A great physique does help, but I've left or stoipped watching guys with great physiques that are boring as hell. The physique is only one aspect of engaging the audience. Audiences nowadays have the attention span of a gold fish, so catching their attention mihg require more than just looking good. I'm not sure I agree with it all being "about the cock" only. Yes, it's as good and important, but the same thing that happens with the physique, a great cock that does nothing can get boring. Then there are the ass-liking people, some of which are quite thrilled by that more than penis. Just my thoughts, not law.

I know I'm not a provider, but I've done plenty of work in non-profits dedicated to the physical and mental well-being of men, especially gay men, including a sector of the provider community that is typically at higher risk, so something that can be mentioned is that yes, condoms definitely help reducing the chances of an STIs, but does not eliminate them. Some STI's can be acquired orally by just kissing, and there are other things that are not necessarily considered STIs that can also be acquired with sexual contact, such as a the flu, crabs, and others. My point with this is that it's important to remember that there's always risk, and what we can do is reduce the level of risk, not eliminate it. Yes, condoms help and are recommended for those who want to use protection, but we should keep in mind that all they do is resuce risk. It's a false sense of security to think that using condoms will not require ongoing testing if you are sexually active. Also, there is a sector of the provider community that takes good care of themselves, which also reduces the risk of spread and transmission. I imagine you are greateful that the provider who called you did so. There's another sector of the provider community that is at a higher risk since they just work on the streets. Of course, that provides a higher health and personal safety risk. Regardless of the use or non-use of condoms, as a sexually active person, I still make sure that everything is ok and get tested for things. I have a good relationship with my doctor, and (now a) she has conversations with me where I am candid about who/what I've done, for her to determine the appropriate testing recommendations. My concern is that some people might just feel that they don;t need to test or that they are completely safe because they use condoms. Just my two cents.

Never done it and never occured to me, but great idea. I've had a vichy shower and body scrub, but never showered with the masseur. Love the idea. I always schedule a 90-minute massage, mostly because I take some time to shut down my mind and really relax, but using some of the time for showering sounds really good. Thanks for the idea.

I remember a pair of twins who did porn and were providers too. Unfortunately, it was a long time ago, early 2000s, and also either one or the two of them got in trouble with the law and went to jail. I haven't read this before posting, but there's a story about one of them. Other than that, all the twin/brother thing that I have known of is either 70s-90s porn, or stories that I have been unable to verify. Personally, I did get together with twin brothers, and also with father and son, and with two brothers. Hey, I'm allowed to brag a little. 🙂

Absolutely you made the right call. Thanks for sharing.

Glad that you got out before the appointment. If I get bad vibes from an exchange with the provider, I normally trust my instinct. Not even because of anything bad happenning, but more because I will be uncomfortable throughout the session, which defeats the purpose. I also read discussions about havibg a degree of trust when something doesn't look or feel 100% right. I wonder if you could share details? What happened? What gave you bad vibes, and what made you want to cancel?

I actually post reviews with no expectations of having a response to it. The negative reviews I've left were not replied to, but the profiles were taken down. One of them reapeared with a different name, the other is not longer in the website. No response could be a good thing or a bad thing. Hard to tell. I wouldn't dwell on it. Didn't know that a provider can have reviews taken down just because they don't agree.

I think that this practice is included as an option in the providers' profiles in providers' websites. That can give you an idea of who's up (or down) for it. In my observation, like every other practice, there are some who love it, some who don't and some who specialize in it. I know of a masseur who seems to be quite dedicated to that practice (most definietly not a critique or complaint)

You won't husr anyone or anything by being prepared for protection. The use of condom (and any other object for that matter) is something that can be discussed in the conversation that leads to the encounter. As you can see, many see it as a matter of preference, and some are quite judgemental around using condoms (or not). If you are a paying customer, it's ok for you to expect to receive a service to your satisfaction. That does require to speak up about protection and about everything else that you deem important in the encounter. No one is to impose their preference on you when it comes to safer sex.

Absolutely, but you can find West Africans in East Africa, Japanese in Cuba, and Chileans in Brazil. And all of them all over USA. All of them advertising.

Didn't know about the ignore feature. Thanks for sharing about that. I have no plans on using it, though. I don't block people. I put them in their place.

I think that's a matter of what you feel comfortable with when you hire. Also, the reaction to that has to be different from different people. I for once, use humor when someone I'm with shoots earlier than expected. I just say "you didn;t last me a round" and laugh it off. Also, whet you do and how you handle it AFTER is as important, and different people tkae that in different ways. Up to you. Some like don't give it too much importance, but some might.

Start earlier. Happens to me too. I just wait.

What's your sexual position? CEO of my own sex life.

Hello. My two cents. I don't think geography influences the size of the penises of the gentlemen who live in a given location. If you use websites where providers advertise, their profiles specify those things that you can decide are important to you in your decidion to hire. The profiles clearly state penis sizes, sexual position, as well as other details. Thugh here you will find reocmmendations for specific providers and events, I don't think that it will be likely to see someone telling you "Go to this stae because it's full of tops with large penises". There are websites like rentmen that can help you search and narrow the results based on your specific criteria. Best wishes.

The panorama seems to be changing. As the market keeps getting saturated with providers wanting to make money, their quality keeps lowering. It's a sad reality. I have experienced some providers who have't been responsive, but I've also experienced some who have responded, but way later, I mean weeks later. As others state, there are many reasons why a provider might not get back to you, and they range from poor attitude towards their own work or their clients, to legitimate reasons around their availability. I think it's good advice to keep those who have been responive, let the rest go, and not to get hung up on an unresponsive provider.

I think some of us do walk faster. For being gay? I couldn't tell, and trust me, I love observing men walking. I guess this gives me a research project. 😁

You can require a condome from a provider. I think the level of risk and safety should be defined by you if you are a client, and placed in your profile if you are a provider. What you don't have is living afraid and concerned after the fact, and having to get tested and living with the constant concern for doing something that you are not comfortable with. As a client, you can require the protection that you feel comfortable with, just like providers provide information of what they do and how.