soloyo215

It's extreme and a terrible business practice to shut donw a client who has paid his due and tipped well simply because he's not available on queue. That attitude is terrible to have on both sides over the other. Even when I don't have the intent to rehire, I am polite and pleasant, and I don't need to lie or give excuses. A simple "I am not available at this time" should siffice. There have been times when I am not available for different reasons, not just financial, and I still use the same line. Some times I have added, "I'll reach out to you when I'm ready" or something similar when I want to actually reach out later when I can or want. I don't ignore providers I have received services from, and I've never gotten attitude from any. If a provider is in high demand, I doubt the he's going to reach out to prospective clients blindly, as that seems to be more of an indication to the contrary. I just never see the usefulness of nastiness or attitude, and I think that a provider placing a client in their no-rehire list over simply not being available at a given time is as bad as the client placing the provider in his no-hire list for the same reason. I'm not a provider, but if I have a set rate for services, I can't care less for where the money is coming from, shouldn't matter if the money comes from this week's pay check, a trust fund, accumulated wealth or the welfare system. That's on the client to know where the money will come from. That's just me and my opinion, not law.

Ask. It's the best way of having clarity. I have seen providers who have actually done the opposite. They removed therapeutic from their options. I think it's ok to inquire, especially since there has been a change in their profile. Nothing wrong with inquiring for clarification.

I have been to similar situations. I reply, politely stating that at this time I am not interested in scheduling something. However, it doesn't bother me to receive another text from him. I'm ok with that. Also, I might change my mind, I in fact have changed my mind and seen providers that I deemed "good but not great", and it's been good. I don't need to go to any of the extremes. I don't have to say why I'm not scheduling him. It's business, and they might even feel the same about me; I might not have been the best client. It's just bsuiness, reaching out to customers. Again, it doesn't bother me that they reach out, but if you feel differently, you might want to find a way of stating that you are not interested in receiving furhter communication. There are nice ways of doing that, but it's up to you.

Back shoulders. Most of my therapists spend a great deal of time on my lower back, which I'm fine with, but I believe that some spend too much time on that part of my body. My favorite masseur is in PV, MX. He starts from the neck and he does stretches, and twists my neck. Nothing sensual or erotic about his massage, but it's a great massage.

Which is why I said "I wonder", so what exactly is your point?

No different than the rest of the world. Some are cut, some are uncut. I have been with chinese, japanese, philipinos, thai, cambodian and korean, and I have seen both cut and uncut in all of them. I know that some gay men treat the cut/uncut thing the way people treat their religious beliefs, so I wonder, if you have interest in a particular person, will it be better to just ask? The fact that they are from Asia or of Asian descent shouldn't make a difference in finding out. Just my opinion, not law.

I still have my dirty, disgusting and constant sexual desire towards every other man I see. Of course, my brain reacts faster than my body, and my body certainly isn't the 24/7 walking erection that I was back in the day. I still function well when I need it, with a little help here and there. The additional help (magic pill) is optional, for when I have a more expensive provider.

Sure. They want others to address them as "they", but they still refer to themselves as "I", not "we". How convenient.

The whole thing looks to me like publicity stunt. The long coverage, the bragging, I mean, background stories about activism and elitism by victimhood, and the fact that not taking HIV meds is not as horrible as it was back when there was less known and less treatment for it. When I compare that action with when in the 90s people did that and actually died, or when there have been people who have set themselves on fire, or going on long hungre strikes, then you see how silly that guy looks (or should I say "those guys look"? Or maybe "guys" is not correct to use, so "those *** look"?).

Maybe he's one of those "gender queer" types who uses they as his pronoun. In any event, it's insane, but I wish this is the first time I see people pulling that nonsense.

I have heard and read similar posts expressing the same. You try some, you like some, you keep some, you love some more than others. I've also known of others who prefer finding one or two and forget about the rest of the universe, and that works for them. You were able to reach out to the other providers and work everything out. It shouldn't be different with the one that you have. Keep in mind that he doesn't know any of what you thought to make him the one to reach out.

I graduated from NYU last year at... not 22 anymore. Same here and with all the males in my family. We look better older. My two cents. This is not exactly a regulated profession, there's no code of ethics. That means that each provider establishes his rules as he sees them fit. If a provider wants to give a dicount or discriminate based on looks or age, there's nothing anyone else can do other than deciding to becoming or not his client. I imagine it will feel great to be told that because I'm beautifull I'll pay less, but if it doesn't happen, who cares. I personally have a dedicated budget already, and if a provider is above it, too bad, too sad.

Depends. Some men are not that great at cleaning that area, some are, and some actually like it dirty. I have met guys who treat the cut/uncut thing the way some people treat politics. I have a hard time understanding people who have this polarizing mindset about it, but again, I have my own quirks, so whatever, I just let them be.

None. Let him be. Especially since he has safer sex with you. The only difference between him and many others is that he lets you know. Providers are in a high-risk line of work, that's no secret. Having first-hand knowledge and details about it might cause concern, but the way I see it, it's just awareness. I've herad of The Eagle in NYC. Seems to be the one of that type of establishment that has survivied. In my experience, the sex party scene in NYC is almost exclusively unprotected sex. Rarely have I seen a person using protection. And that's since way before PreP. That's not exactly that cut and dry. It depends of what you do and through which orifice. This is best thought of as levels of risk, rather than in absolute terms. Doing something increases or decreases the risk of transmission. That's why health educators (like I was once upon a time) use the term "safer sex" instead of "safe sex".

You might be right. The newer generation seems to be more into spontaneously doing things than planning ahead. I see a similar effect in my work with the younger crowd, "planning" to them is just making a mental note a few minutes before the meeting. Just my opinion, not law.

The provider might need to have a saying on it, so I believe that as much as we could suggest you to propose availability and timing, you might still need to obtain the input from the provider. When reaching out, have an idea of the setup, including timing, so you can let the provider know. Also, providers might have experience in setting up a 4-hour session. I guess that depending on what is expected to happen, it could be as simple as scheduling a time/space, or as complex as bringing and setting up equipment and gear, or traveling. How simnple or complex the session will be can determine the logistics of it. (I feel like I said a lot and nothing at the same time).

Yes. Your point?

Again, not judging. Just curious. What do you mean versatile is too much of a risk? Risk of what exactly. I'm just trying to understand. If you're not comfortable replying feel free to ignore.

Long ago I learned that people have preferences, some people have fetishes, and some people are just very clear about what does it for them and doesn't do it for them. I want to agree about just "enjoying men", but I have to admit that there are quite a long list of men types that I want nothing to do with, leave alone get sexually involved with. I wounldn't judge. It might be just the craving of the hour that will go away as soon as it's satisfied, or it might be tied up to preferences, fetishes, even trauma. I just try to meet people where they are.

Not sure if this might help, but versatile doesn't mean that you have to do everything with the provider; it means that they are willing to top or bottom (at least in some instances). That might expand your choices. Any reason why they have to be strict bottoms? Is it off-putting for you to know that they are capable of topping another human being? Not judging, just inquiring.

Happened to me. A provider was much older than in the pics. The thing is that he still looked great, so I didn't mind. If his current appearance was not that great, then I might have made a different decision. I didn't hire him again, though.

I think that some of those rather shady proividers show signs one way or another. At least that has been my experience. Yes, some providers block people befor the reviews. It's an ongoing and known issue for many of us. What I wonder is if there's anything that can realistically be done. Also, to be honest, let's put things in context. What did we have back before RM, reviews, ability to search people's information online, etc? We had to either rely on word of mouth or take higher risks with providers. That means that even with reviews that we can't fully trust, it's still better than how it used to be back in the day, for both clients and providers. It's definitely not a reliable system, but it's definitely much better today, especially since forums like this exists where people can support each other with information about providers and by clients. When it comes to reviews, what I do is that I read as many as I can (when there are many), and I start noticing a theme emerging. That's where I find some information that can make sense and feels more reliable. Another issue with reviews is that two people might have completely different experiences with the same provider, and none of them are wrong. First, there are many poor reviews ("I didn't like him"), reviews that are just downright stupid ("I didn't like the curtains of the place"), and reviews that concentrate on parts of the experience that are not important to you ("He shaved"). I look for reviews that talk about punctuality, time spent, delivery of what he offers in his page, and of course, overall performance. So yes, one cannot just blindly trust reviews.

I guess. Philadelphia continues as racially segrega... I mean, a "city of neighborhoods" as it's always been.

Maybe I need private tutoring?

I actually like the guys who don't show off their muscles. Just my own personal taste, I find flexing and intentional display of muscles off-putting. The muscles are visible and noticeable anyway. So not intending to put people down, I am more curious about muscle worshiping. I don't get it. What is it about the display of muscles that makes people throw money at them?