soloyo215

I think being upfront about your looks and how you feel about them can be helpful, but I also know that some exploit it and use is to charge more. IMO, a good provider understands that the client and his needs come first. Best.

I had the intention to hire, and I did. Not sure why I'm reading "rules" that (a) I don't need, and (b) seem to accommodate more your personal style/taste. This is business and last time I check, I am entitled to shop around and decide what/who to go with, and explore, research the service provider before making a decision. I am quite sure that providers do the same with clients. Again, seems like you are basing this on your experiences, which seem to be unpleasant but not remotely close to mine. In any event, thanks for your feedback.

I have learned so much here. Thank you for your responses. Some things that I got: It's not well perceived that I reach at multiple providers at the same time. In my case it worked out well, but apparently it's not recommended. To some the reply, for as long as it's a reply and it's not a rejection, is OK even if it's "to-the-point". The side discussions are entertaining and educational. Thank you all.

Thanks for your perspective, but it seems full of assumptions, probably based on many past bad experiences. Sorry that you seem to have been burned many times. I just realized that I didn't add that after each reply I actually replied back with the purpose of (a) not wasting their/my time and (b) keeping the lines of communication and possibilities open. I made sure that all three knew where I was standing. To provider 2 I used money as an excuse to dismiss him, but I was polite ("I'm sorry, you are out of my pay range. Maybe at a different time. Thanks for replying"). I'm not sure how that's being a "time waster" or "fucking annoying". With provider 1, I had a little bit of an exchange, and I appreciated his rather caring tone. Wasting his time was not what I got from that text exchange, even after he said he's not available to meet (and no, I was not looking to get off with him via text). With provider 3, I definitely didn't waste his time since I actually extended my time with him (and paid accordingly). I'd strongly recommend not to jump to conclusions, though I see how your past experiences might have influenced your reply. Thanks for your reply. Is there anything that you recommend prospective clients to do differently?

I searched for this particular topic and didn't find anything specifically about this, which is why I am posting. A little context first. I went to a conference in Orlando last week, and I managed to talk my employer into letting me stay in the hotel where it happened for an additional night. I planned to treat myself with a provider for that night and return home happy. Went to RM and identified three prospects. I texted them with provider 1 being my preferred of the three. I sent the exact same initial text to reach out to each one of them (something along the lines of "I saw your profile, liked what I read, I am interested. Are you available?") Their initial responses were quite different. Provider number 1: "Aww thanks!! I'm just not available this weekend. How long are you in town?" Provider number 2: "$XXX for one hour $XXX per hour for 2 or more". Provider number 3: "Hey there, thanks for checking out my profile. I can be available. What part of town are staying in? Typically my rate is $XXX for the hour. I'm located in the xxxx area." I went with provider 3 because provider 1 wasn't available, and provider 2 didn't entice me much to further the communication. I dissed provider 2 because it didn't show much people skills. Questions to providers: Do you craft your initial reply, do you just answer based on the initial text, or combination of both? Do you think that how you reply matters (of course, aside from being polite and basic communication manners) and makes a difference in your business? Questions to clients: do you care about how the provider replies, or does it impact your decision of going further (of course, based on the premise that it's not rejection or unavailability). BTW, Provider 3 was excellent. I ended up extending my stay.

I was in a similar place when I started. I kind do the same since I never crave the same thing from the same provider. But once I'm clear about what I want, I let the provider know, and it's never been anything too difficult to do.

You learn something new every day. Never thought that the greeting can tell about client reliability.

I wouldn't feel weird, but I'd let him decide if he wants to say hello or acknowledge me. Some providers prefer not to have any contact with clients in public, and I respect that. Never experienced seeing a provider outside the business setting regularly, so I don't know how I'd react.

I'm a client, so I do not know how a provider might handle the "consultation" (I personally don't see it as such since to me that's the same as having communication about expectations and interest, but again, I'm not a provider). A good way of ensuring that it's free of phishing and malware, you can use screen recording software to create a copy, and then send him the file, of course, explaining that the file is not attached to any website. Also, it could be something that you communicate in person, that what you want is in a video, and show him. There's also the possibility of just being able to articulate it in words (unless it's something too complex to describe in words).

In my dating history, I've had guys hung up on things that I've shared with them, on religion, family history, my last name, my ethnicities, my change of careers and past relationships. Some have become quite annoying, repeating and bringing up the topic. To me that has been a reason to end it. I've brought the question directly to them, asking why he keeps bringing up the topic, and if there's anything that bothers him about it. Never got a direct answer, and what I get from the whole interaction is that he's being passive-aggressively, showing that he has an issue with me. What issue? I do not know, but also don't care to find out. A person who is unable to get that he's making me uncomfortable by constantly bringing up a given topic, and continues doing so in spite of my boundaries, shows that he might be a boundary trespasses, being disrespectful from the get go. Just my experience, I can't tell that that's the case with you and your date. I'd suggest to just ask him what's the deal with him bringing up the matter.

Just my experience. The vast majority of the young guys I've been with (hired or hookups) are "too much enthusiasm, too little essence". I don't discard younger guys, but I scrutinize them more when hiring or hooking up, even now when I am their "daddy". The rest of the daddy thing I just see as a preference the same way that some prefer certain physical attributes or activities.

Interesting reading. I personally don't like the way the story is told. Seems biased towards presenting only the salacious side of the story and portraying only him as the wrongdoer. I'd like to know the background of the accuser, and also how Equinox ended up hiring that guy without a background check (or hiring him anyway after a background check).

As others have said, in a settled way or directly, you can communicate what/how you want. I doubt that the provider will be offended, annoyed or hurt by you telling them what/how you expect things. Best.

I think I understand. I relate to that situation. That is one of the main reasons why I rarely bottom. Very few tops (in my experience) are not that great at taking the time when someone is not into the power top or aggressive top thing. Some of us have to be led to like it, and some tops are just not that experienced in that. I agree about communicating that with him, especially now that you have had encounters with him. I'd suggest that you can frame it as trying something different or new, as expanding your range of activities. No need to mention anything about him not knowing how to do things. He actually might know and he's just not sure what approach works best for you. You can use your history to improve your encounters. If he's a young man, chances are that he's still in the learning curve of the business. Properly communicated, he can become the top of your dreams. Aside from just communicating what/how you prefer, how you present it can also help it become a better way of connecting with him. Turn the negative into a positive. Best.

I find that unprofessional. Some of us can't care less about discussing politics, and as a client, the provider is supposed to provide an environment that leads to what he's paying for. The provider's job is to give the client a good time, not to make a political point.

Welcome. Feel free to ask questions, research the discussions and read as much as you'd like.

Without details of the interactions it's difficult to establish any thoughts on it.

Thanks, great information, but that doesn't address the question I asked.

Even if that's a socially acceptable norm, which I don't think it is (times have changed, though people, injustices, violence, rape, prejudices and sociopolitical nonsense haven't), it still doesn't answer my question or address my point, which is, have there been instances when the "assault" to use your wording, has been welcome? In my experience, many people (including a lot of the "me too" people) complain only and exclusively when it works for their purpose, not labeling it "assault" when they like it. The "Me too" thing to me is a big fat failure. As some comedian pointed out, it became a tool for discrimination. The hashtag sign is also the pound sign. It makes more sense to call it "pound me too". It has not done a single thing to advance any rights, to end violence, to raise awareness. What it has done is creating more segregation more violence and more discrimination. Rather than a news story, there's research to support my statements (just go to Google Scholar or Pew Research and do a search on the effects of the Me Too "movement"). The Me Too Movement had migrated from a defender of the vulnerable, to a censor and then political machine that only serves to water down and detract from the Movement's original, righteous purpose. And of course, there are many of us who rely on reason and don't support any nonsensical definitions at people's convenience. So I ask again directly this time, what do you do when you like the "assault"? Is it still "assault"?

Assault? Sounds a little dramatic. Unwanted advances, boundary crossing, poor judgement, harassment, not respecting personal space maybe, but assault? To me assault involves a level of aggressiveness where you need to physically defend yourself, not fend off unwelcome touch. REGARDLESS, I agree that it could be quite uncomfortable. However, if I could ask, had there been instances when you have welcomed such "approach"? I ask since this has been the topic of many conversations I've had with friends, family and in many other social settings for decades. The thing is that the vast majority of the time the person complaining does so only when they feel the touch and groping is unwanted, neglecting to recognize the other times when the same touching and groping has been welcome and wanted. Of course, I don't know you, which is why I inquire. Every time I have a conversation about this, that's my starting point. Many times we focus on the touch we don't welcome, neglecting to recognize that the same approach is used with the touch we have welcomed from other people. Just my thoughts, not law.

For real? There are ads stating that?

Great information. Thank you for your efforts and for sharing it.

I have no interest in shaming or attacking you, though I do understand that some might be pissed (for lack of a better word) to find out that the reason is not happening is money, especially after so much support and advice was provided. When this thread started, I remember suggesting to plan for the worst case scenario. This might not be the "worst" scenario, but it's most certainly not the one expected. If it's not going to happen for you, what do you plan to do to move on from this, if at all? What's next, start trying to save money to make it happen in the future or forget about the whole thing? I'm not judging you or attacking you. Financial reasons are legitimate reasons to not proceed (though finances change). What's next for you? Hopefully you don't obsess and get creepy when you see him, nor it becomes too awkward, and hopefully you can come up with the money in the future. But how you handle this from this point on is important.

Seen him in porn and he seems to be the real deal. Versatile and willing to do a lot.

There are certain words, but to me is mostly about the overall tone of the ad. I find some ads written in a way that I find off-putting. As for specific words: I'm a top Repeating that they are a top millions of times in a paragraph (looks like they are trying to convince themselves of it) straight Worship Don't waste my time