soloyo215

Not my thing (officially), but I posted this: Not something I consider, but not against it either.

Interesting statistics. Right on time for my 2025 travel plans.

If you have the means and interest, I'm sure you can have a good idea of what a fair compensation is. Be ethical about it.

The way I see it: In Facebook, everybody is happy In X, everybody is right In LinkedIn, everybody is a big shot expert In Grindr and RM, everybody has a big one

One of my favorite providers in Mexico has a partner, and what's more, according to him, his partner is not fully aware of what he really does for a living. I also know providers who have children and girlfriends. It's their lives and their prerogative to decide what to do with them. I think it's a little naive to expect that providers are these lonely people or single men who don't have a life and love outside of their business. People are people. Furthermore, why being a provider should be a source of guilt? And why should that be my business as a client? Speaking of clients, how many clients aren't out there who have partners, children, wives, or belong to conservative organizations that go against what they are doing with a provider? The heart and soul of this business is precisely around things that people do "on the side". Like others mentioned, I'd look into why knowing the provider having a partner makes your react. No judgement (ok, some judgement), but not meant to be an attack to you, more as some insights on this topic.

Th I don't do deposits. If that means I cannot see a given provider, then so be it. It's a deal breaker to me. This is one of those things that don't have a solution, it's going to continue being a challenge for both the providers and the clients. I can suggest that you can try asking for deposits and then see if there's a benefit to your business, or if it's impacted positively or negatively. I see no harm in trying to protect your business as a provider and then seeing if it results in something beneficial to you. There will be clients like me who will skip providers requiring deposits, but there will be some who have no problem with it. As you and others stated, your reputation might help clients feel comfortable providing you with a deposit. There's no one solution to this on either side. We're all going to do what's best to protect ourselves and our assets. Best.

I "reach out", but not aggressively. Never had a rejection. The thing with massages is that there really isn't any standard practice or signal. If you feel the vibes, especially if you're not expecting any, chances are it's ok to "reach out". The worst that can happen is that he might place your hand back in place and continue the massage.

Don't hire him, then, and look for one who will be willing to send you pictures. I never ask for pictures. The ones in the websites suffice for me to get a sense of what to expect. I haven't come across a profile without any pictures, so I don't feel any need to ask for any. Size, circumcision status, girth, body hair (or lack thereof) or Peyronie's disease are not of importance to me at all. I've had fun with all kinds. The only physical attribute that might make me think twice is height. I don't prefer guys who are much taller then me.

I guess it depends on the person. I happen to have done work with the ex-offender population, and in that respect I see no difference between people with criminal records and people who don't have a criminal record. The first thing that come to mind is that there are people out there with no criminal record who deserve to be in prison; they just haven't been caught. Second, there's a difference between having a record and being a repeat offender. Then there's the type of offense that the individual has a record for. I wouldn't care if the person has a record for prostitution, for example. If I can, I ask for details. I also am aware that hiring involves a level of risk in terms of personal safety. That all means that to me, the simple fact that a provider has been to prison is something to maybe inquire about details, but not necessarily a deal breaker. I'm not into the "bad boy" fantasy, but I have seen how appealing being in prison has been to many gay men I know.

Difficult to tell if it's age related in the physical sense, or if it's related to the fact that our needs change as we age, or if it's that after some time things can become redundant. Aside from the physical changes that our bodies go through as we age, have you noticed any change in your views, interests, what matters to you? Maturing does contribute to how we approach and or perceive things and events. Also there's the type of guys that you might feel drawn to. I've known so many of use that love "the forbidden fruit", which sometimes turns to be not as satisfying as we picture it in our minds. Some providers are excellent at making the client feel at ease. It might be a matter of being more picky when looking for a provider. There are definitely providers who seem to think that being old and wanting sex is reason for them to up their prices, but there are some who are not of that mindset. I don't think that not hiring anymore for being 60 is a solution to anything. Maybe taking a break for self care is a healthy thing to do, but just not hiring in that manner doesn't sound healthy. Just my thoughts, not law.

Thank you.

I don't care if I have to go out on the street naked to call the cops. If I am held at a place against my will, I will call the cops. I'm not ashamed of them knowing that it's a HE place. They should be ashamed of their criminal activity, especially if they are the ones trying to upsell, which is prostitution.

You might have not done anything wrong. You never know the reasons for it, even when they give you one. I have been denied services for not wanting to send a picture of me. In that respect, yes. Also, keep in mind that the massage industry is getting more and more cluttered with bad and unprofessional masseurs looking for easy money. That means that now we have to navigate for good professional masseurs who have a clue of what they are doing. I also recommend to give it one or two more days, and move on. I wouldn't dwell in wanting to know why he didn't respond, nor in looking into my own behavior to explain it.

Credit cards companies have approved and sent cards to dogs. That's not a reliable form of ID for that purpose. Other forms of ID have your picture and other details, which can also be borrowed or stolen, but OF can cover their backs legally.

I'm not a provider, but as a client, hiring providers has improved my mental health. In fact, that's how I discovered all this. Massages were recommended to me as part of my plan to improve my mental health. I wanted to support the LGBT community, so I googled "gay massage" (I now find the naivete funny). The rest is history. I also know of at least one person who hires as part of strategy to improve his sexual wellness. There's a difference in the degree of, and how people handle their mental health issues. There's a difference between feeling depressed, feeling suicidal, and the root of the depression and suicidal thoughts. Also, some mental health issues stem from internalized homophobia, some of which has escalated into harm. I have not encountered a provider that makes me uncomfortable out of behavior related to mental health, so I cannot comment on that. I also know (as per some of my providers) that the work itself can take a toll on mental health if not conducted properly.

Last night I went club hopping in PV and stopped by Club 69. I was not impressed, unfortunately. The facilities look great, but the guys there look like they were missing their mobile phones. Bored and boring and not engaging at all. At first I thought that it was just me, but then I saw them there just lined up sitting and conversing with each other, not paying attention to the patrons. Strange. Wet Dreams had too many clients and not enough guys (Saturday night, I guess). The place looks great, though I saw some old woman there doing some kind of work on a computer. She was right next to the wet dancer. Odd location. Some of the guys go around asking for tips in exchange of touching their dicks. They were friendly and not pushy. They were just not enough guys. Tried to get in at CC Slaughters, but didn't make it because it was infested with women all over the place. I so hate this trend of women hijacking places meant for gay men. Not the vibe I'm interested in. Ended up at the B-mine again, and had a great time with a young muscle guy. It was less crowded and the guys are always very engaging, friendly, diverse and hot. It's a new club so the staff is also very accommodating. Great atmosphere.

Ambiguity in the lyrics was how we used to express our feelings publicly in the arts, just like Jean Claude Pascal's Nous les Amoureux, written by Maurice Vidalin.

When I started getting massages, I didn't know much about how this is supposed to be communicated and/or negotiated, so I didn't mention HE, sensual or erotic to the provider. However, some providers offered it. My first one started rubbing my penis and asked "Is this the type of massage you're looking for?" I politely said no (not to make him feel bad), but he did offer. Same with others, even when they are sensual, some try to upsale. In other instances when I have wanted more, I have communicated it and asked how much for more during the massage, not before, but with the understanding that more services imply more pay. I say that I understand it costs more. That's how I solve the issue of little clarity. I do know that there are one or two people who want to pay massage prices for escort services. They shouldn't do that, but in my case, in the beginning I didn't know much about any of this, so it's not always that we're all trying to get more for less. I did learn fast.

Yay for me. When I want a good massage, I have just the right providers. Also, outside of the US, there are plenty of masseurs that give you the option. They are great at both with or without the HE. It's just a matter of looking. I do like having the option if I ask for it.

Last night at the B-Mine I saw one or two twink types. I'm sure if you ask they will find one for you.

Since 1996 I put a candle on my window on December 1st to commemorate World AIDS Day. It's been a few years since I gave up expecting institutions to care for it, including HIV/AIDS organizations. Out of wanting a break from my Engineering career in the 90s, I took a part-time job doing HIV prevention education and outreach, and next thing I knew, years later I ended up with a full career in the field. Did plenty of work and activism, became a trainer for prevention education educators and outreach workers, did a lot of great work that made me feel human (unlike computer-aidded design). Though I don't think I was that successful with educating gay men, I do feel Iike I made a difference in other communities (minority women, currently and formerly incarcerated, active drug users). I have good stories to tell from my HIV/AIDS prevention career days. I commemorate World AIDS Day to remember those that I and others lost to AIDS. They will not be forgotten, at least not by me.

I don't think anything about it at all. I had a great time in Rio and plan to return in 2026.

Often, but not always, and I don't necessarily base my decision in what I read here. Sometimes what people post is based on their personal taste, not on things that I look for in a provider. I do, however, look at "themes" in what people post when there are extensive discussions on a given provider, and that can give me more information than one or two personal experiences. I do pay attention to things like "scammed me", "left early", and things that are not very ethical or that we shouldn't expect. However, I don't always look people up here all the time.

I'm in PV now and last night went to the new B-Mine Bar. Great place, similar setup, diverse dancers (some bear types). Of all the people I hooked up with the Bouncer. The place has the open dance floor, VIP rooms, and playrooms where one can do more. It's in the same corridor where the others are. The place is great, new and very welcoming.