ShortCutie7

Right, unless I’m reading the graph incorrectly, the implication is that over 15% of people in West Hollywood are male escorts… that is not possible.

Exactly, and from down here I can barely tell the difference, so why lie? At that, any guy over like 5’10 is gonna be towering over me.

Totally, but unfortunately this homophobia is so deeply embedded in society that it is the default assumption even in accepting (or fellow gay) company.

He knew I was nervous and was definitely waiting for me to initiate. There was also no natural chemistry (I could tell immediately he was not attracted to me), so the entire encounter was kind of awkward. All that said, I did have a great time and don’t generally regret it.

It’s exactly the argument you’re mentioning that makes my point- society associates “gay” with “sex”; “straight” is considered the default so is not thought of in as sexual a manner. Literally every single person I have come out to has asked a followup question about or relating to my sex life… even if the question is something seemingly innocent like “how do you know?”, the answer would be inherently sexual (“I know because I get aroused when I see a handsome man, not a beautiful woman”).

My regret from my first time with a provider (just over a year ago; you’re not alone) was not verbally asking for what I wanted sooner- he had clearly read and understood what I had written, but when the time came was more go-with-the-flow and we didn’t do certain activities until the session was almost over and I realized I would have to ask for it. Your coworkers probably won’t see him entering or exiting your room unless they are nearby. If they do, you can easily make up something like that he is a friend who lives in the area visiting your room to catch up.

Yes, Bozo did exactly the right thing. Just the act of inviting him to a hotel (let alone following through) would have implied ulterior motives even if there were none.

Exactly! Something about it just feels wildly inappropriate to talk about/nobody’s business. I wouldn’t ask a straight friend about their sex life; why should they know about mine?

I wouldn’t say I’m “out” or “in”- I don’t come across as obviously gay to the vast majority of people, but some people definitely know. If anything, I probably come across as asexual (think Sheldon Cooper), but I frankly don’t presume anyone to be thinking of my sexuality at all. It actually mostly depends on context- there are only a handful of people I have told outright, so they are the only ones that know for sure. Otherwise, the majority of my family/family friends and my coworkers from my day job assume I’m straight, while my coworkers from my side jobs (in largely gay fields) and acquaintances from these fields assume I’m gay, although there have been instances during which certain cohorts assumed I was straight (which was hilarious given the context). Philosophically, I don’t like the idea of “coming out” because it places an emphasis on an aspect of my life that is very minor and doesn’t impact anyone I am not pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with. Beyond that, coming out to my mother was extraordinarily difficult and painful, and I don’t wish to have to go through that again, nor do I believe I should have to with anyone else.

I don’t think I worded that clearly enough- I meant that it’s not realistic for a client to expect a provider to turn down another client for any reason. For example, it is not realistic for me to expect a provider to turn down a poz client.

That’s great to hear coming from an escort!!

Absolutely, any business owner has the right to run their business as they see fit and set proper boundaries, but that also means that they would have to be willing to turn down potential paying customers, which is not a realistic expectation from the rest of us as clients. My point is that the financial component changes the dynamic from it being a regular Grindr etc hookup.

I totally see where you’re coming from and know I have stuff to work on, but I think the “ick factor” would still be present if it were a woman/vagina. I was raised Jewish and the only shame I carry tied to being gay is that I will not be able to live a traditional lifestyle with a wife/kids/etc. I HATE the label “queer” and you may not self-identify as such, but others would say that anyone who is not 100% straight is “queer”. PrEP has never been said to be 100% effective. It also hasn’t been around long enough for anyone to truly know the long-term effects.

Totally! This is part of why I hire: providers are more likely to be more cognizant of their sexual health. But the second somebody BBs with anyone after getting a test, it renders the previous test invalid. Exactly. Even if there was no health risk, there’s just something “icky” about it to me.

True! But my point is that providers have a different vetting process from other guys.

I’ve posted a lot on this topic so won’t beat a dead horse, but this is a point that I don’t believe I’ve hit before because it should be obvious: Generally speaking, it is a provider’s job to play with anyone willing to pay. This “anyone willing to pay” may not be truthful about having an STI, may not know if he has an STI, and may not necessarily even be asked by the provider if he has an STI. When you are playing with a provider, you are also playing with all of these men he has played with. While the provider can do everything in his power to protect himself, nothing is 100% effective.

This reminds me of a restaurant story: When I was a child, my parents and I regularly ate at a restaurant that gave 10% off on Mondays (except holidays). We ate dinner as usual on a typical Monday and when we got the bill, my parents noticed that the discount had not been applied. When they asked the waitress, she seemed surprised as well and took the check back to management. When she returned, she said “ohhh today is a holiday eve, so no discount.” We never ate at that restaurant again.

Sometimes these fantasies get triggered and it makes my day… “Greg” posted this sexy pic (cropped for privacy) today…

Wow, hope he’s real!

These points are part of why I DID like the book- I thought the lack of realism in the tone was exactly what the show needed to work.

Yep, my tipping in restaurants has changed a bit over the last few years: 20% the pre-tax amount pre-Covid. 22% the post-tax amount when we were coming out of quarantine. Currently I tip around 20-23% the post-tax amount. As @arnie indicated, I’ll tip a higher rate than that for an inexpensive meal (not the server’s fault if I order the cheapest item on the menu instead and of the most expensive).

Wow, out of curiosity, what was the tip-off? I know very little about these things.

No experience, but messaged a while ago- NYC hosting location is in Williamsburg… newer pics are incredibly hot!

1- No 2- No 3- No, BUT there’s one specific issue that if I get the sense a provider would have a strong opinion on in one direction (whether by him posting about it on X or having some key words in his profile), I would not hire him because I would feel unsafe.