DWnyc

Not unheard of for providers to suddenly express panic / fake disappointment at what might have been etc as the one hour mark approaches while getting ready to rush you out  … with an option to extend at your choosing with a more leisurely and satisfying conclusion 
 

Have you been on any dating sights lately?? 😊

Hey guys this is an interesting and important discussion … let’s not get it shut down by the moderators so let’s keep it civil please! 

Hey guys this is an interesting and important discussion … let’s not get it shut down by the moderators so let’s keep it civil please! 

And for obvious reasons the under-40 clients disappear eventually (I used to be one).

Condoms prevent more than just HIV. And people need to worry about more than HIV
Syphilis is spreading in the gay community because of the prevalence of PreP and condom use is no longer standard.
https://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/stdfact-msm-syphilis.htm

I do wonder how many folks on prep for prevention or the drugs to maintain undetectable status can adhere to it all the time, especially when “partying” and so forth.
Wish there was a test to see how effective the level of prep is in your body at any time. 

Hey guys this is an interesting and important discussion … let’s not get it shut down by the moderators so let’s keep it civil please! 

Hi... but I don't recall ever meeting you.

Hey guys this is an interesting and important discussion … let’s not get it shut down by the moderators so let’s keep it civil please! 

listening to your gut might have saved your life that night. 
how unnerving; you clearly did the right thing. stay safe. 

As I was packing for my hotel stay in NYC, I grabbed my lube and it was sticky. I attempted to wash it and it felt into the sink I had just shaved in. Now it was sticky and covered in hair. I attempted to wash it and as I was doing so it opened. I was annoyed and said fuck it and threw it out.
I went to my sex room and as I was opening the nightstand remembered I have that, poppers and a doosh to my let early 20’s hook up. 
I then went looking for a fresh bottle. I didn’t have one so I said alright, I guess no fucking on this trip, I’ll just get head.  I wasn’t planning to fuck. I did buy a new brand Sunday morning from a sex shop in Chelsea. Hope that clarifies. 

I have mixed feelings about this - it has happened to me frequently though perhaps not on this scale.
on the one hand we are donating for providers time - regardless of what goes on.
but there’s an element of liberty taking if choose to extend time (separate from if extra time is needed because of client choice or approval)
I try to clarify why we are going over whenever it happens and nip it in the bud when it’s clear there is expectation of extra $. happily there have been many occasions where we have gone over because the provider said something like “I have nothing else, let’s keep going” or “I’m enjoying this as well” or most graciously “we lost time because I did xyz so let me make it up to you” - but I don’t expect it to be the norm 

With due respect, can you not see how similar things could be said / sincerely believed by those on Prep (“I am hiv negative … not my problem, not theirs”) or undetectable (“I can’t transmit so …”) 
absolutely not saying anyone should knowingly lie about (what they believe to be) their status, however …
 

With due respect, can you not see how similar things could be said / sincerely believed by those on Prep (“I am hiv negative … not my problem, not theirs”) or undetectable (“I can’t transmit so …”) 
absolutely not saying anyone should knowingly lie about (what they believe to be) their status, however …
 

I’ve learnt the painful way (being publicly shamed and losing a friend who was insulted by my ignorance) that I needed to get familiar with the science of undetectable status.
As with prep, It can take some getting used to if you’re from the generation that was told condoms are the only barrier between you and potential death. 
Anyone active not familiar with what undetectable means should read and research, don’t just rely on us here.
But remember, relying on someone just relaying their status (undetectable or on prep) should not be sufficient even if it is 100% accurate as of the date they received results (and I’ve come across many who’ve lied for whatever reason). 

Reminded me of a bizarre experience: 
As a provider takes me up to his hotel room he asks “do you like groups?” And while opening door the I see he has a friend there … I say I’m not donating more than agreed and I’m told the other guy is free as they’re sharing a room and it’s late and he has nowhere else to go. I ran out claiming I felt ill and it was nothing to do with them (my gut said this was weird and scary so get out without angering them). I got abusive texts the whole night saying I owed him double the amount discussed (for 2 people).
 
 

That’s a separate issue from assessing a providers professionalism on whether or not - for a premium product they are offering - they have taken care of the basics
I’d be fine if a provider texted as I was on my way (or he was on his way) and said “this is really embarrassing , but I’m  out of lube and don’t have time to go get more before you get here … could you bring some / do you have some?” - at least it would mean they had thought through the experience they were responsible for.

I have mixed feelings about this - it has happened to me frequently though perhaps not on this scale.
on the one hand we are donating for providers time - regardless of what goes on.
but there’s an element of liberty taking if choose to extend time (separate from if extra time is needed because of client choice or approval)
I try to clarify why we are going over whenever it happens and nip it in the bud when it’s clear there is expectation of extra $. happily there have been many occasions where we have gone over because the provider said something like “I have nothing else, let’s keep going” or “I’m enjoying this as well” or most graciously “we lost time because I did xyz so let me make it up to you” - but I don’t expect it to be the norm 

He’s definitely not the only one among providers I’ve come across (not necessarily engaged). And I’ve likely missed others - it’s not an easy question to ask, while some handle it very professionally in tone (even then who knows if it’s accurate or they’re telling the truth) others can get extremely annoyed, convey they feel insulted etc.
The misrepresentation can’t be justified … but maybe there’s warped logic for them in their interpretation of “equivalence” of their actual status to that they list … in terms of public health implications.
And there’s the obvious point that they may lose some business based on people using that as a selection criteria.
(And I’m not singling out providers here - I think it occurs frequently in online hookup profiles as well).
 

As I’ve related elsewhere I’ve frequently had providers refuse to meet because of a conversation on playing safe before confirming (even though their profile says they offer it), or trying to get me to change my mind once we do meet even if they’ve agreed. 
I carry my own because I’ve lost count of how many providers don’t have them but have every other exotic product, toy, etc you can think of. I sometimes get a bit of satisfaction quashing that brief glint of “I don’t have any, damn, we’ll have to go ahead without them”.
 

I have mixed feelings about this - it has happened to me frequently though perhaps not on this scale.
on the one hand we are donating for providers time - regardless of what goes on.
but there’s an element of liberty taking if choose to extend time (separate from if extra time is needed because of client choice or approval)
I try to clarify why we are going over whenever it happens and nip it in the bud when it’s clear there is expectation of extra $. happily there have been many occasions where we have gone over because the provider said something like “I have nothing else, let’s keep going” or “I’m enjoying this as well” or most graciously “we lost time because I did xyz so let me make it up to you” - but I don’t expect it to be the norm 

3, which was annoying. 
 
Thank you. I don’t want to elaborate beyond what I’ve posted. I take prep and went to get a prescription for PEP but was told it wasn’t necessary because I haven’t missed doses. I do have to be celibate for a while which I’m not super pleased about. 

It’s still incorrect.
I find that to be evil on a level that is hard to comprehend. 

I’ve learnt the painful way (being publicly shamed and losing a friend who was insulted by my ignorance) that I needed to get familiar with the science of undetectable status.
As with prep, It can take some getting used to if you’re from the generation that was told condoms are the only barrier between you and potential death. 
Anyone active not familiar with what undetectable means should read and research, don’t just rely on us here.
But remember, relying on someone just relaying their status (undetectable or on prep) should not be sufficient even if it is 100% accurate as of the date they received results (and I’ve come across many who’ve lied for whatever reason).