DWnyc

A real provider seeking a deposit is typically not doing so for money but for leverage if something goes wrong as they see it (or if they are crooked, even if it doesn’t). That’s why you’ll find some saying something like “even just $1” or $10 etc The scammers will typically focus just on the money and seek to maximize that.

People in law, management consulting and finance etc typically have code names for clients so if overheard confidentiality remains. They also never speak to clients if running into them publicly. Doctors do the same and will never talk about treatments or discussions in public without invitation. Hobby rules should be the same.

Some just thrive on conflict wherever and however if manifests. Psychiatrists text book examples. Borderline personality or narcissist who feel numb and invisible unless in conflict. A giveaway is when some report back consistently on all the fights they’re recently had, how many people were rude to them that day etc

I have noticed an increase in instant message only lists posts - not sure what’s driving this

I’m pretty sure I see him on the regular online dating apps so he’s around

In which case surely the takeaway lesson is, try negotiating it won’t do you any harm …

For some clients it’s an extreme form of the emotions attached to reaching out to a potential hookup online - anything that seems like a rejection (ie a delay) from a provider is sort of the worst kind for these guys - it’s like even when I’m paying I’m so undesirable etc. Not that they are - but I think there is this very fragile ego in a lot of clients on this matter. Smart providers pick up on it. Nice ones put that awareness to good use. The other ones …

I’m sure he can pull it off if the accent is thick as well

have experienced all of them more than once (upselling in general, and conversely for requesting condoms) also had a session cut short because “im Not feeling well, nothing to do with you, and I won’t charge for all the time …” right after he checked his phone … and I’m pretty sure arranged either a hookup or a longer session client. Re condoms vs bareback upsell - it’s been discussed here before but my experience has been providers generally prefer bare and condoms require more effort for them Hence upsell. If one reveals how important something is to them, an upseller may think “what’s totally easy for me is very valuable to him, so I’ll redo my pricing …”

Yup very common. And given I think I’m a generous tipper I don’t think I’m on any of these mythical databases as someone who needs a reminder on this.

Well the best providers will go to considerable lengths to ensure the client had the experience he craves …

I’ve heard a recurring narrative from providers of how they once had a bumper year, thought it was going to last forever, and blew through everything and their luck changed (eg their benefactor left town or found someone else).

I don’t know about “standard” but the lowest I’ve been quoted in NYC recently was $450 for two hours for two people, by someone well reviewed. He started quoting that for one hour for himself only. A series of no’s from me (with bluster on how he knew his worth) then expanded the choices he laid including dropping hints that he was dining with his hot local friend … maybe he needed to cover expenses on the assumption something is better than nothing. The lowest I’ve heard of recently for one hour is 200-250. Again by someone reviewed well on here and elsewhere so”legit” … I’ve generally found providers far more flexible on pricing than discussion here suggests, and I rarely negotiate - it’s the provider throwing out terms.

Related, I’ve been asked when actually meeting a provider whether I’m interested in p n p - even if I’ve said no or kept quiet when planning. And they’ve clarified they know some clients don’t want a written or potentially recorded verbal trail. I know this triggers some here, but it’s also reiterating the point that use by clients and providers is more widespread than profile listings / initial back and forth may suggest. And more generally that you can often get a sense of a provider’s general vibe without specifics listed.

Yup wouldn’t really fly in New York or San Francisco but it might in some rural areas or states (or countries).

Providers like this need to be “outed” - with the ability for them to defend themselves of course which is why forums like this are good. At some point if what you say is accurate this becomes akin to extortion, preying on client fears for safety, discretion etc - would help to know who he is if you’re comfortable sharing. The few times I’ve tried to leave without fully paying a donation for reasons I consider fully justified, it’s turned ugly; the most disengaged / high / drunk / entitled / narcissistic (etc etc) provider still wants his cash at the end of the day.

In more than one of these cases I’m pretty sure specific individuals were targeted using the location feature - so someone already on some kind of list was lured into a trap where they generate evidence to use against them, rather than it being a general trap for anyone unlucky to engage with the cop.

I don’t have a specific time to wait. I’ll reach out to multiple people as it’s rare I'm looking for a specific person, more looking to fill a specific schedule, and I like to have options. Took me a while to realize in the early days that providers don’t have dedicated 24/7 call centers servicing them so I don’t mind the varied response times - as long as we don’t get into the dynamic of them expecting me to be immediately responsive when they choose to engage, and that it should turn into a booking no matter what. If any only reply after I’ve made other plans, I’ll either politely decline or say now won’t work maybe later (and if they show fury at that, they go on the crossed out list). And if they’re reasonable I may even engage a little with full disclosure I’m getting info for the next time and it saves back and forth if there is a next time.

Providers aren’t always the most rational or strategic. Though I can see someone interpreting a “no” as “I didn't actually enjoy our session” and so determining you’re no longer a realistic prospect worth cultivating. Not unlike the online hookup world where the etiquette seems to encourage ending on a positive note but it being acceptable to ghost / block the minute you walk out the door. Later in the month isn’t odd. I’ve even had providers reach out for later the same day if I’ve indicated I’ve enjoyed the experience - I don’t think they’re assuming you’re made of money as much as trying to monetize an apparently positive experience.

No individual can determine whether something is “too” expensive - the market does a fine job of that. If supply (of what you’re offering and at what price) has insufficient demand - it’s too expensive. if on the other hand you are turning people away you’re likely underpriced and the market will welcome you raising prices and making a fine profit. Whether or not you make ends meet (and then some) has nothing to do with what a client will be willing to pay. If you have financial goals unmet with what you’re doing, you need to reevaluate those choices as many of us likely have had to do.

I like the talk too. One of my selection criteria is if a provider seems they can engage. Which is why the act that many put on at the negotiation stage of one word grunts or “I’m too busy to even talk to you” is a turn off beyond the immediate physical aspect.

Bingo Which of us has not complained about our jobs to someone at some point, including about compensation, even though most of us wouldn’t trade the security of a paycheck without a backstop or real probability of a better alternative.

I think that holds for providers who top as well

The most frequent reason I’ve been offered discounts is because the figurative rent check is due, and a discount is better than a zero revenue alternative, or it’s a means to getting more overall (tips, extended or repeat bookings, referrals). Most providers are business people first and foremost, and they’re not going to take a loss or a lower margin just because they’re going to enjoy part of their job more than they otherwise might. I think there’s a little game some don’t understand especially if they consider themselves above average. The seasoned provider will see through that, and just as he might tell someone he appreciates their humor / intelligence / kindness / power in real life etc (when he actually sees the self perception) he can play on that and validate with a gesture that brings in more in the long run. That’s smart business.

Same writing style, same compliment said a different way (he’s so funny, he knows how to tell a joke, he makes me laugh … etc) and you know something funny is going on. And I assume when providers reappear with a new name/account it’s because of a negative review that was actually genuine and cut too close.