DWnyc

Easier said than done. In order to survive in my job let alone maintain working relationships in my personal life there is an element of having to be perennially optimistic and concise when my unguarded self would prefer to curse, cry, or go off on a monologue about my mood. Most cultures in the world have standard greetings that are statements rather than questions. “Peace unto you” and the like. In America we ask “How are you doing?” and yet we don’t really have time or interest to stick around for a genuine answer.

With the different legal status of the hobby in Europe - I wonder if the management consulting firms have descended on the industry yet for best practices recommendations! Would be an interesting analysis from McKinsey or Deloitte! Or maybe @Jamie21 and @Simon Suraci can start a new advisory business based on their expertise! (In data management, that is🤗)

Or integrity

I don’t mind a provider contacting me as long as they do so with a tone that makes it clear they are curious to see what my interests may be, offer to help me with answers to questions I may have. I turned the feature off because of one very aggressive escort in New York (and his behavior on this issue was discussed on this forum). One look - not 80 views - resulted in a slew of direct and increasingly aggressive mails. Even with no response from me the tone shifted to “I don’t have all day …” and “what, you think I’m not good enough for you?’. That I didn’t like. If you’re a provider reaching out to me, show humility and recognize the dynamic where we are potentially exchanging things we both want, you’re not saving me from eternal outcast status and I’m not an ATM machine for you.

What else would we talk about then?

I don’t think you can post a picture on MrN. but maybe you can on some of the private networks some providers have discussed.

Well no … when you’re competing against embellishers… if you don’t embellish, you’re screwed as people will discount your honest answer by the industry standard. And assume the “worst” if there’s no answer.

And the latest excuse: “sorry … I’m still on set for my only fans project”

But of course being “honest” would reduce probability of these encounters taking place at all Swipe right takes just a second - the pool of potential matches for anything is greater than it has ever been, but so is the ability to filter out with ever increasing complexity

I guess like a restaurant or bar a provider has different ebbs and flows in numbers and different demographics at different times. A provider I know next to one of the main commuter stations in and out of the city where I live says his best time is 5-7pm on a weekday before men take the train back to the suburbs.

Until the hobby is legalized in the US there probably isn’t much that can be done to breach some key deficiencies in vetting specific to the trade (eg anonymity preferences by many if not most clients and even some providers means a telephone number may be all someone has to go on). And so those needing something like this will have to rely on 3rd party apps designed for a different purpose, perhaps, for the time being.

In parallel elsewhere on here we have ongoing discussions on background checks of clients and providers. Given the information publicly available (and non public information that is easily accessible) it’s not that hard to find out real age for some providers. I discovered someone I was considering was 51 when checking for something else, though his RM profile said 35. As I looked at his pics more closely I remember thinking he does look like he’s aged a little fast for 35 … but he looks pretty great for 51! And reinforced when I met him in person. The other info that is often fudged - organ size for instance - is harder to check beforehand. Though I did once see a 2 inch difference between what was claimed on someone’s online hookup site profile and their RM profile - age height and weight were the same.

I once freaked out a provider when we were chatting as he was describing how his providing work paid for his travels and he walked me through a recent example and I pointed out from what he described he actually made a considerable loss. I also pointed out the lack of logic in one provider’s “I’m not budging” position in a negotiation by taking him through the financial impact on him based on how he laid out his position and why what I was offering was better - and he literally almost burst into tears as he admitted he could see how he had lost maybe thousands of dollars over the years with his approach. absolutely not saying I was smarter than these guys - just that they had the data themselves (I was using it!) but not collating and managing it for their own benefit

Q.How are you doing? A. I’m great! Q. How’s the work you owe me coming along? A. Totally fine, no problems … Q. Do I look fat in these jeans …?

I was channeling the fake Argentine’s Connecticut persona, not mine 😊 The Aussie accent is pretty hot though. And if you can identify a Kiwi from his accent and not call him Australian he will typically melt.

I disagree I talk about it because I see the flaws and lack of corrective mechanisms from abuse, which can actually hurt providers more (because they will likely face financial loss from false reviews, a client can just move on to another provider) I’ve benefited by avoiding some providers (and non-provider situations i.e. hookups) and one electrician … based on reviews on MrN (assuming they were accurate) … so I don’t doubt it’s usefulness including to providers I’ve never said ban it, stop it etc - I’ve never said providers don’t have the right to vet - I’d be stunned if they didn’t and i 100% support a provider’s right to do so But I can also debate or challenge criteria, methodology etc for all parties in how they vet and that’s all. Your moms logic applied consistently would indicate that providers speaking up on this issue a little too much may also have things to hide / know that they employ practices that justify client fears in such situations

That wasn’t my takeaway from the collection discussion. Not even sure how it could be done. False or exaggerated reviews - whether left by providers or clients - is a different matter. But again little that can be done unless the people leaving the reviews expose themselves There are plenty of horror stories about clients having serious trouble from providers as well - we’ve even seen providers on here sometimes come close to condoning some of that. I personally know stories of physical abuse, threats of such, stalking, exposure with colleagues and family and so forth. Some have involved police, one required hospitalization. So the bottom line is everyone should take precautions for their situation as they see fit. We don’t need to get into a discussion of which side carries the greater risk either collectively or anecdotally. But since the discussion has included points such as clients not using apple products are all worthy of greater scrutiny, or (more worryingly) clients needing to surrender some privacy on their identities and associated details in order to engage, we have to contextualize as well.

I assume every age listed is incorrect along with several other of the filtering stats. I assume I could imagine the person in front of me could play someone that age in a movie convincingly though and if they can’t - while not a dealbreaker for me I’d question their EQ more than integrity, My favorite lie that I caught was a Hispanic guy from Connecticut who put on a fake accent and claimed he was recently arrived from Argentina. I asked him a few questions related to his home country, where I traveled to regularly at the time for work, when first meeting, not to diligence but to make conversation and out of genuine interest, and he begged to be let back to his normal persona. But he did explain that his bookings would go up considerably when he presented himself as the exotic visitor with lust that only those south of the equator can channel.

It’s indisputable that providers frequently misrepresent their age. Why then? The bigger question is does it matter since we can all see through it (and some of the other lies or stretches too).

I don’t think I’ve heard anyone suggest We shouldn’t have Mr N. They’ve asked about what it is, we’ve discussed how there’s a mechanism to remove obvious spam or multiple reviews by the same suspected person etc but no one here could have it taken down even if they wanted. Use whatever system you like. And seek the protections you feel you need. And remember it works both ways - while clients likely don’t check Mr N for an escort profile as much as vice versa, many providers have comments there associated with their numbers. Sometimes they’ve been enough for me to pass on someone who otherwise met my criteria.

Applies to providers too. Some providers who are quite vocal on client behavior they abhor and reference the app as a place where justice is done have pretty damning reviews themselves on Mr N (and this may be why some provider numbers change every so often). If a negative review doesn’t mean anything and can be laughed off, why are we talking about it so much? Typically the subject is raised by providers, I think traditionally they have used the app as part of a vetting process if they have one while most clients likely don’t even know it exists.

My hypothesis is most providers in the US aren’t as organized as @Jamie21 suggests, probably because the tax issue doesn’t arise and also just generally having a very basic approach to CRM. And with better record keeping may come better revenues long term, Many questions raised by providers here, as well as points about how they interact with clients, positions they take on negotiations etc - wouldn’t make sense in a more strategic operation. For instance, actual cost of a session to calculate break even and when to raise prices or how much to lower them by and for whom (who is more price sensitive) Return on different promotion methods to evaluate what is working and what isn’t Why do some clients reengage and others don’t And so forth

Not necessarily. Just because something is on the market, priced at whatever the vendor decides, doesn’t mean the product is desired by the market at that price or at all. There are plenty of providers on RM who list but barely have clients or who do any number of other things to keep the lights on. We don’t see the sales side so unlike say Amazon we can’t see a rank in the market.

And at some point perhaps the moderators will haul us all up for not sticking to the OP’s topic and attacking a fellow forum member and then lock this discussion…

I would be stunned if in some cases provides weren’t fully aware of a vulnerable client and encouraged it to some extent for whatever reason