DWnyc

I like the talk too. One of my selection criteria is if a provider seems they can engage. Which is why the act that many put on at the negotiation stage of one word grunts or “I’m too busy to even talk to you” is a turn off beyond the immediate physical aspect.

Bingo Which of us has not complained about our jobs to someone at some point, including about compensation, even though most of us wouldn’t trade the security of a paycheck without a backstop or real probability of a better alternative.

I think that holds for providers who top as well

The most frequent reason I’ve been offered discounts is because the figurative rent check is due, and a discount is better than a zero revenue alternative, or it’s a means to getting more overall (tips, extended or repeat bookings, referrals). Most providers are business people first and foremost, and they’re not going to take a loss or a lower margin just because they’re going to enjoy part of their job more than they otherwise might. I think there’s a little game some don’t understand especially if they consider themselves above average. The seasoned provider will see through that, and just as he might tell someone he appreciates their humor / intelligence / kindness / power in real life etc (when he actually sees the self perception) he can play on that and validate with a gesture that brings in more in the long run. That’s smart business.

Same writing style, same compliment said a different way (he’s so funny, he knows how to tell a joke, he makes me laugh … etc) and you know something funny is going on. And I assume when providers reappear with a new name/account it’s because of a negative review that was actually genuine and cut too close.

Well I have been told that the size of the tip (of donation) is what brings most joy

Exactly - they’re often the ones posting on this issue repeatedly.

I would expect either me or the person I’m meeting, whether a provider or a dentist or a long lost relative visiting town to confirm at least the day before and definitely the day of. Not hard to do in this era of instant comms. “I’m about to leave, ETA xyz, are we still good?” has saved me from much hanging around for someone else running late or not wasting time on someone who can’t or won’t make it anymore. A provider who will ditch you because of a more lucrative opportunity or because they can’t keep to schedule for whatever reason can do so regardless even at the last minute. Don’t be the cause of any uncertainty at their end.

The only point on AI here is that there are people who will be fooled now more than they would have been (checkout new apps available to everyone that allow you to create a mock app on your phone in seconds), just as they may have been when photoshop first became available - and the larger point about personal responsibility for one’s self still overrides. Everything else (eg the point about seroconversion between tests) opens up debate on those issues. That could be fine and informative for many whether new on here or not. If we can tolerate noise on all resulting discussion.

It’s just good practice for Thanksgiving

Yes and I’m not disagreeing (and include clients as potential fakers so no issue there) and actually doubling down on the point - Ie take responsibility for yourself and don’t rely on info from others that can be wrong for whatever reason. Because there are many people out there who will actually be satisfied with a quick glance at a piece of paper or an image on a phone (in hookups as well as what we are describing here). Especially among some of our demographic in this forum who think they can free-ride off public health efforts while weighing their fear of “discovery” (eg doctor/insurance records) / effort on their own part (if everyone else taking PREP why do I need to …) And partly I’m trying to say something new since this topic of personal responsibility comes up repeatedly.

No - it just doesn’t constitute an appointment

Just thinking about those folks (whether providers or clients / regular hookup partners) who knowingly (not accidentally or in ignorant bliss) misstate status … Given the technology out there including now with AI, do you really think it’s inconceivable someone could fake an HIV test result if that’s all it took to make the questions stop? I believe fake COVID tests and injection records overtook fake driving license and green card sales on the streets of New York at one point a couple of years ago …

Tell typical NYC provider they’re no good as a provider and they’ll roll their eyes and likely comment on your performance as they show you out the door. Comment on their ability as an actor and be ready for a total meltdown.

Even if I did all the above (told you I was coming to town, that I was happy to meet up, would text this week) that doesn’t constitute an appointment.

They’re not the provider, you are …

Some may be pragmatic (as they see it) and assume it maximizes clientele and doesn’t put off those who could be offended by an “in your face” or sermonizing on status or prep use (same reason some undetectable on ART will only say “positive”) We’ve discussed here before how many have not stated status accurately - we know because they themselves have volunteered this to us or in other profiles - I know at least 2 in my geography and both made some fumbling noise about having forgotten to update their profiles, I just checked and after more than a year they still provide an incorrect status (not just blank) At the end of the day it shouldn’t really matter if you’re already ok seeing a provider if you protect yourself per your own tolerance level - and that can mean lots of different things

You just killed the need for this site …😉

That’s not the only reason many don’t want to pay deposits to providers but why is this not true? Pretty much every disclaimer or terms and conditions for cash sites makes it clear that they can and will share data with the government if requested and that they will proactively report anything they suspect violates their rules which includes transacting in illegal categories.

Unless you’re advocating the abolition of free market economics that makes no sense

Or the perception of it perhaps. I’d say social conditioning is as or more important. People would be making different choices if media (including porn) presented different ideas of what is attractive (and perhaps by implication, healthy). Some don’t have a problem with partners indulging in PNP, unprotected sex (even with PREP in the mix though that’s not universal and recent) or other eating disorders that keep one “not fat” but might be causing havoc elsewhere in the body (or mind). And as you say we’re talking prostitution not long term relationships - where an old or fat partner (however defined and for the purpose of discussion here) benefiting the provider means they might not reject them. And a compliment paid to a client tapping into their perceived sensitivities may be smart for business even if potentially offensive to others and may not even represent what that provider really feels on such issues. And I can imagine some providers and others I’ve met saying something like “actually I’d rather have a fatty than a …” (fill in the blank … racial slur, height, age, disability related filter “ etc).

As an aside - when I’ve seen pics of spouses of providers - or in some cases even met them - while many are indeed magazine cover gorgeous like their partner … they’ve often been surprisingly “normal” and sometimes do fall into “not good looking” / “less good looking” buckets some of us obsess over. Including obese. The kind you wouldn’t expect to say typically”I’m dating a porn star …”

And here’s where a provider can help you. Set up an appointment with someone who doesn’t think you’re roleplaying or at least will go along with you to your face, and practice, ease into it, if they’re good they’ll know what to do. The way most hookups go or darkroom encounters will likely see you feeling frustrated and maybe saddened with how your partner may react.

Ive noticed the same thing re younger providers less interested in regulars. Seems like hookup culture where part of the excitement seems to demand someone new. A lot of Penny wise pound foolish behavior as well.

The whole session is typically roleplay of some sort. Even a provider being “normal” and kind with someone they wouldn’t spend time with in real life. Who cares if the client is lying - the time wasting could come from any way he presents himself and that’s what needs to be weeded out. If he shows up let him act out his scenario. Politely tell him he needs to get his ass literally over there and pay like everyone else for the handholding to commence.