DWnyc

In my early hiring (pre prep and ART) I once spent half a session debating this issue (condoms can make you unable to perform) with a provider. He told me that discussion was worse than a condom to kill his hard-on. I’ve never understood it but it’s a commonly held view and teenage girls frequently hear it too. And once culture started changing post prep / ART it became part of the fun to see what excuse a provider (chosen as he agreed to protection) would try to get out of it (lost them, they’ve expired, used hem for cock rings …)

I played around with AI augmentation on my pics when we were redoing our web page. I would totally pay for one hour with AI-me. Get used to it. I think it’s like make up for women now - almost required in the biz. The issue is where it gets to a material difference rather than just making someone look “their best” (and you see them on what is claimed as an off day). The guy the OP mentions doesn’t hide his Twitter where he looks a little … different. So it’s not like he’s hiding that and perhaps doesn’t see anything wrong in this.

100% agreee - assuming they’re pricing what they feel they are worth at the level expected ill be more inclined to tip if I feel something happened above and beyond what was discussed - not sure why it should be expexted at less than reasonably expected performance when my post tax dollars go to someone off the books with no revenue share for anyone else And any provider holding his hand out for more without me volunteering a tip, or telling me (sometimes even before the session has begun) that I need to tip (sometimes even with a threat of what they might do if I don’t) - forget it.

They’re referring to -/ it’s harder to stay hard (they claim) when wearing a condom

Not sure what the rules are about posting links to other sites - but there are a lot of places where you can see grindr like listings focused on this scene. I’ve looked through trying to understand but I Honestly don’t get it - it’s no judgement, I really just don’t get it.

No ambiguity from their marketing materials who is doing the screwing

I think many don’t even make it to sex. Just don’t get it. I’ve made the mistake of joking about it with one or two providers and unleashed lengthy descriptions engagement with their clients into this stuff - bizarre.

I always assumed providers want to get people off RM as soon as they can to avoid explicit discussions on money and anything else they don’t want “out there” and to start whatever background checking they wish to do with additional info available. I find it amusing when the same providers who are adamant even in their descriptions before the first outreach that you should only ever text - try to send you back to RM to send a message or two to allow for reviews.

Not to bring up a topic that never seems to go well on here, but just because a provider doesn’t list PNP on their profile doesn’t mean they’re not doing it in their private life. I’ve twice experienced providers having reactions which I’m pretty sure we’re based on one of the liquid varieties enjoyed before I arrived and I had to deal with them being the only person around. Many states have some kind of Good Samaritan laws; in theory you won’t get in legal trouble or face questions as to how you got in the situation you find yourself if you call an ambulance for someone in distress (suspected overdose, heart attack, stroke etc)

Why the question re blue state cities (as opposed to red state ones)? Not trying to get political but are you more worried about one category than the other?

Re time allocated - check beforehand if a provider is including shower time, get to know you chat time in the session calculation etc. Misunderstandings can occur. You can’t force someone to spend time with you in this business if they don’t want to, and it would hardly be pleasant if they felt forced, but the providers who have tried that stuff with me will never get rebooked so the long term loss is greater for them.

For some the thrill of being with new providers and experiencing variety (if available in their market) is part of why they engage in the hobby vs seek out fwbs or partners if they have them.

I don’t need or want providers to climax - they can save it for another client or someone they actually want to be with. I often tell them this and it often provides some relief (of a different kind). I also want to avoid a situation where they’re done and they hate every remaining minute where they can’t trick themselves into feeling it’s enjoyable for them. On a couple of occasions though they’ve actually wanted to climax during a session themselves - which surprised me. nothing to do with me - more I guess moving from one situation to the next, not building up tension, if not seeing others that day trying to switch attention to other areas of their life perhaps … once I was surprised as given only a few seconds warning and asked where I wanted it, and on another was requested to stay a few mins to help the situation in what I thought was an attempt at upsell but apparently wasnt.

I hope this is the case … My criteria is when I text and say “Hey how are you …” they don’t reply “Sorry, who is this?”

Particularly if the have a long list of “here’s what I won’t do” but that amount pre tax is around $500 an hour … 4 hours a week = $2000 … so start doing the math and it doesn’t take long to be better off Than most New Yorkers

As discussed elsewhere there the culture of “I know my own worth”, “I don’t want to deal with cheap clients” etc can disrupt what should be easy market dynamics (ie it works or it doesn’t work so move on). And all this gets internalized by some to equate their rate to self esteem etc What should be the freest market becomes tangled with all sorts of 21st century / millennial entitlement

Which is a good reactive hit rate … no provider should complain at that

Exactly my reaction when someone I’ve politely told it’s not going to work comes back with a revised proposal isn’t “you’re not professional, you don’t know your real value, you’re undermining the market” - it’s “you’re being realistic and trying to close a deal, good for you for trying“ (and also “let’s drop the martyrdom act”)

Among those that consider it a city … 😉

What’s surprising may be that- if your numbers are correct - they don’t actually disclose that fully. And then they still expect to be paid on the basis of vague descriptions of service or claiming the payment is for time rather than anything specific. No problem if everything is really fully disclosed. But it often isn’t. Many providers don’t hide that they are intentionally vague and openly mock those they can lure in.:

The economics is fascinating for those that can make it work (that doesn’t mean lucrative - it’s just one of the few examples of very free market economics in labor and price clearance) Most female providers see very little of the sums charged Most regular service providing models (eg law, audit) see fees go to owners of the business who (unless sole or limited proprietors) aren’t actually on the frontlines dealing with clients who expect service based on the value of the fees to them When people say “I know my value”, with no disrespect to anyone intended, I roll my eyes a little - unless I’m sure they know what all the aspects of that word they have fully thought through. And I bite my tongue when I want to reply with something like: I know the value of what I’m prepared to hand over to anyone for anything as well, as I know what it took for me to earn it

Not only market research but also marketing!

I actually don’t negotiate with providers -. at most I’ve accepted revised terms after their persistent efforts while doing nothing myself. And that’s not just my opinion, it’s my experience in multiple instances with providers well regarded on here and elsewhere, and the experience of many I know personally. And to be clear: my non negotiation position is not because I put providers on some pedestal. I don’t respect or disrespect a provider arguing they know their value and won’t budge from that - it’s irrelevant as what I care about is if the terms work for me. I’d rather move on to someone else if the terms don’t work for me as initially stated, and I wouldn’t want to be literally exposed with someone resentful at the circumstances of being there even if they accept them voluntarily. When I say that’s not how the world works (negotiation does in fact occur) I’m not saying it’s the case for 100% of providers or interactions. So you can have your position on this, and the world can still work a different way for a significant number of people / experiences. What I’m saying is it’s not 0% (no negotiations) and occurs frequently enough to be considered normal.

More than once I’ve found a surprise guest. More than once I’ve had the offer they stay, for a fee. On two occasions I had reason to leave before the session was over and was nervous for more than a split second about being outnumbered in a situation I wouldn’t want the world to know about.

So let me ask again - why did the OP pose the basic question in this thread? Market research? Or if he finds most of his clients assume he’s straight what does that mean to them given they seek him out (that’s his sex life of choice outside work and he happens to be doing this because it’s a job, or that he is guaranteed to be dismissive or insulting once the session begins etc) And why does he think most of his clients assume he’s straight? Reacting to something deliberate on his part? Or not doing something to correct a perception (but again based on what)? The provider-client interaction is almost always an act on part of the provider (and the better he is or wants to be, the client may even leave thinking at least part of it wasn’t) - so the supposed straight man can pretend to be into it (we’ve all seen the porn on the straight guys who discover the joy of being with men, or find their bills being taken care of justify showing they enjoy gay sex whether or not this is sincere etc). Or he can exaggerate or make up condescension (“you can’t get a girl … you’re not a real man …” type stuff) and downright humiliation even violence. Or as some have expressed here - it can be irrelevant and he just follows instructions and leaves the client with what he wants - and that’s no one’s business but theirs.