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To end the speculation, it’s on!😊 For those who like to plan ahead, mark your calendars for April 11 (Saturday) and April 12 (Sunday), 2026. Information about the activities will be forthcoming at a later date. I hope many of you can attend as I look forward to seeing you!🎉😄

That much is obvious. Helpful hints: punctuation and capitalization are your friends. Using them will make you appear less naive and therefore less likely to be taken advantage of in the future. Similarly, avoid hiring a man who does not use punctuation or capitalization in his communication with you. It shows he is either inexperienced at best or a flake at worst.

No I don’t agree. Some guys are really anxious to go to a bath house (sauna) alone. They want someone to go with who will show them how to behave there and who they can walk around with to get comfortable. If you’re exploring your sexuality or if you’re not conventionally good looking (or you think you aren’t attractive) then bath houses can be intimidating. It’s therefore helpful to have someone who will accompany you and spend time with you there to build your confidence. I’ve arranged quite a lot of sessions at bath houses with my clients. It’s sometimes to take someone who’s never been, sometimes it’s to help guys who want to have sex in public but who want to do it with someone they are attracted to, sometimes it’s to pretend I’m their boyfriend. I think in @ThrowawayAccount’s situation he didn’t get a very empathetic provider. He was clearly too anxious and it seems like there wasn’t much communication between the two of them about expectations. Someone with more patience and understanding would probably have behaved differently to him. It’s a lesson for guys hiring: choose carefully. I’ve had a few clients who seem to be far too anxious to relax despite me trying to help. I think some of these guys are still trying to work out things and they have misguided ideas about sex. They don’t need an encounter with a sex worker at that point, they need a counsellor or someone to help them get over the issues they have about their sexuality.

sounds like a bad incident - but let me say this: sometimes when you are negative it become a self fulfilling prophecy. 1. you went to a bathhouse despite not liking them feeling uncomfortable. How is this his fault? 2. you get there and are uncomfortable, complaining about the room. How is this his fault? 3. you talk about how you will only pay in a way that you can get your money back with the provider (im sure that is going to make him feel great) How is this his fault? 4. you sit there visibly uncomfortable, he suggests maybe bringing in someone else to help. (you don't mention any ideas you have to make you feel more comfortable - you are also an active participant here. he is not a mind reader) How is this his fault? 5. you tell him you now want to leave after he has gone out his way to prepare to meet you, travel to the bathhouse. Of course he is going to be annoyed. he thinks you are probably going to reverse the payment like you suggested at the start. How is this his fault? You willed this into situation into existence and you need to take some responsibly for it. I'm not saying what he did was right - but you literally threatened him that you would reverse payment if you were not happy. Not a great way to start a session. You may want to explore seeing a therapist or counselor and work on anxiety instead of hiring sex workers in bathhouses.

Graciously accept the compliment, don't overthink it.

OMG, guys check out this profile....its a SCREAM. THROATMASSAGE - Male Masseur, Gay massage in New York City, NY | RentMasseur RENTMASSEUR.COM Gay Masseur THROATMASSAGE in New York City, NY offering a wide range of massages ⭐ experienced in therapeutic, sensual, swedish, hotStone, deepTissue. I LOVE IT!!!

If you marry for money, you spend the rest of your life paying for every penny of it.

I completely relate. I suspect with the apps, you kiss 9 frogs to find a prince. But for me, the prince would also be one who saw something cool in you AND might be a FWB. I’m new to the apps. I’ve had 100 or so app “inquiries” (from me or to me) which resulted in five encounters, of which 2 were princes…and I’m neither a spring chicken nor a silver fox (and there are members of this forum who’ve met me and can attest to that 😅) Don’t make it about your appearance. Make it about “the package” including experience, respect, nurture, fun loving etc. Be as fit and energetic as you can be but don’t apologize for what you can’t change. And see it as an excavation where you’re peeling back layers of mud to find a few diamonds

Proper sensual massage doesn’t need to include a happy ending and to call it a ‘happy ending’ is wrong too. If there is a climax it doesn’t have to happen at the end. It’s best if there’s plenty of time after a guy climaxes for continuation of the massage to bring him back down again gently. Head massage and feet massage are great after climax. Rub and tug guys do a perfunctory massage, then grab and grope at your bum and cock in a rush to get you off. They call it a sensual or erotic massage 🙄. It’s nothing of the sort. In a proper sensual massage the masseur and the client are fused together as if they are inhabiting the same body. Their breath aligns, the masseur moves seamlessly through the sequence like it’s a dance. There’s no separation between massage and ‘happy ending’ because the whole thing is erotic not just the last 5 minutes. That’s why I think guys who’ve done therapeutic massage sometimes get it wrong: they do a therapeutic massage and tag on a hand job and then charge sensual rates. You have to think of a sensual massage as a seduction from before the client even gets on the table. Work their brain as well as their body.

Anything a provider tells you is meant to keep you as a client. Try asking for a date without paying and you'll see what he really thinks. From the alternative perspective, if he thought you were a gross old man then he wouldn't have done the extras. Lastly, you should never value yourself based on other's opinions. 😘

I have hosted dancers at my hotel, or traveled to the dancer's hotel, several times in many cities including dancers from Johnsons Ft Lauderdale. I have never had any problem with safety, but I am ALWAYS let down by the personal interaction compared to what I received at the club. Dancers are good at dancing, masseurs are good at massages, and escorts are good at fucking. I've never met one who is good at all 3, including at Johnsons.

Good ones don’t care. Tell them in advance. The ones that are good will reply with something like ‘it doesn’t matter what you look like, it matters how you behave’. The bad ones will either ignore you or be evasive. Then you’ll know which to book won’t you. I see all sorts of clients for massage and more escort style work. Some are old, some disabled, some have scars, some are big, some are skinny. It really doesn’t matter except for practical purposes (like will you fit on my massage table, have you got any conditions or injuries I need to know about). As for what you look like, it’s immaterial. I care most about will you turn up, will you be respectful, will you participate and enjoy yourself. Go for it. Anyone who declines your business because of what you look like isn’t a real provider. If you find someone you’re comfortable with you’ll find your confidence grows each time you see him.

I typically craft my initial reply to address everything in the client’s initial text that I can answer. I usually start by pasting a stock response and then modifying to personalize, answering anything else the client brought up. How we reply definitely matters and I believe makes a difference in my business. I try to answer the what, where, when, and how much questions so the client has all the basic information to make a decision. I also make an effort to be friendly, but this doesn’t always translate easily in text form. Tone varies, but I avoid mirroring the gruff, sometimes rude messages I receive. I try not to take it personally. By putting in a lot of effort responding thoughtfully to tons of messages that never go anywhere, I pick up the good clients along the way and keep them as reliable regulars requiring less maintenance. The bad ones drop off once they make themselves known. It takes work up front, including lots of annoying exchanges and dealing with rude people. However, I will never win those good clients over if I just reply with a rate. It’s like mining for gold. Lots of long, patient sediment sifting. I can’t complain to the gold flecks about all the dirt I had to pan out to find them. Every once in a while I even find a nugget. It’s work doing the work, but it’s also work getting the work. When you do enough of both, your schedule fills up and you reap the rewards. The strategy I like best is to make yourself so busy with good regulars that you don’t have to deal with the bad apples. They can’t occupy space in your schedule or your mind! It takes years of patience to get there. People on these forums are, on average, better clients than who we deal with on a daily basis. Anyone spending time asking questions about the best way to craft a message to a provider is going to be levels of magnitude better to work with than the guys we sometimes complain about. Providers mention the rude, unserious, flaky, or people outright taking advantage of us all the time, but most of you here are not those people. It’s unfortunate you have to be the recipients of so much disdain when you represent fewer of the reasons for us feeling our frustrations. You are here reading and listening when the people that most need to hear it would never take the time nor give the bandwidth to hear it out, much less take it to heart. The times I post about bad actor clients I relent later, thinking this is the wrong audience. With few exceptions, my COM clients are great men. I’m sorry you guys have to bear the brunt of so many providers venting about things a lot of you here you either don’t do, or correct when you learn from collective wisdom here how to better conduct yourselves. Thank you for being the best clients.

Ok as someone who is a provider and performer in porn let me give my perspective: It can happen, and be quite unexpected. It’s certainly happened to me on occasions when I’ve been with clients and when making porn. We’re all human and can have off days (or just be tired from a sequence of clients). It’s also happened with guys I was filming with when they couldn’t get hard. It’s actually more common than you might realise, especially with guys who have sex professionally. I know guys who inject their cock with trimix before a film shoot because they want to be sure of getting hard. The most important thing is to understand how best to react to it if the guy you hired isn’t hard. You shouldn’t make an issue of it. Try something different, do some massage or stretching together, focus on touch, intimacy and breathing. You’ll find as soon as you remove the expectation that he should get hard then more than likely he will get hard. But if you make a big issue about it then you can be 100% sure it isn’t going to happen.

Hey, I just want to clarify a few things since there seem to be some assumptions being made. What I do is a side gig, not my main source of income. I own and run my own business, and I actually have plenty of free time—so I split it between bodybuilding, travel, and my regular clients. I don’t have sex with friends or do “friends with benefits.” Friends are just friends. Every session I’ve ever had has been with someone I’m genuinely attracted to. I always ask for a photo and screen carefully beforehand to make sure there’s chemistry on my end. I don’t take any pills or drugs (other than 420 occasionally). I’m just a very sexual person who enjoys real connection—and I don’t vibe with how people act in the general dating world these days. What I do has become a space where I get to share fun, safe, and genuine moments with kind people I actually like. Many of them have been with me for a long time, and it shows in my reviews. I don’t see just anyone—I care more about energy and kindness than looks. My clients know what I do, my hobbies, and how I run my business. And for clarity, I only ever see one client a day, maximum—sometimes two if I’m traveling and it’s logistically right. I don’t work in volume; I focus on quality and make sure every experience is authentic and unrushed. Sometimes sessions aren’t even sexual—they’re just human connection. So please don’t assume or compare me to others in this industry. Here’s a recent photo of my current physique. where is the guy on here who laughed about hanging tits during my process? lol.

https://img3.pillowfort.social/posts/c379db54115a49836ab1_small.jpeg https://img3.pillowfort.social/posts/cee9dc868136e95beb48_small.jpeg

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Would I electively be circumcised as an adult? No. Are there legitimate medical reasons for circumcision in an adult? Yes. Would I be circumcised as an adult for a legitimate medical reason? Yes. Am I glad that I was circumcised as an infant? Yes

I’m really sorry you had such a difficult experience. No one should walk away from an encounter feeling unsafe or unsettled. At the same time, threads like this often reveal that both sides made decisions under stress or uncertainty. That doesn’t minimize what happened to you — it just means that now, with some space and hindsight, you can take steps that give you more control and peace of mind going forward. Here are a few thoughts that might help next time: - Since anxiety is part of this for you, you may want to choose the location — whether it’s your home or a hotel where you feel comfortable and there aren’t distractions. - You’re buying time, not a guaranteed emotional outcome. When nerves kick in, sticking to what was agreed upon can help keep everything grounded. - For the next few encounters, consider seeing only well-reviewed, established providers until you feel steadier. It can make a huge difference in easing the anxiety you described. What happened to you clearly shook you. I hope your next experiences are much smoother and actually enjoyable — they absolutely can be with the right structure around them.

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Some care and some don't. I always give my age, height and weight so they aren't surprised. Do that and you should be fine.

Thank you all for your great suggestions. As expected, we were only able to cover a fraction of the topics I would have liked to during the limited time we had. While I sent a long list of questions and subtopics to inspire the hosts, it was ultimately up to them to select what they most wanted to ask. As always, you are all welcome to “ask me anything” any time. I realized after listening that I mispoke when I plugged this site, saying THE company of men dot org (when it’s simply companyofmen.org). Sorry about that. I know that it’s the latter but goofed up in the moment. People will find us here, I’m sure. A quick google and it will pop up, with or without the “The”. Here is the podcast for any who are interested in listening to the interview. The interview portion starts right at 16:00 minutes in, if you want to skip their intro stuff, news stuff, etc. Gayish: 463 Sex Workers (w/ Simon Suraci) PODCASTS.APPLE.COM Podcast Episode · Gayish Podcast · 11/06/2025 · 1h 17m

A pimp would be a hard stop for me. It makes me doubt whether or not the escort is working under compulsion and not as a consenting adult.

I stopped reading after this. Never pay in advance. That stops most problems.

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