Responding to clients who say I love you

[Mikegaite]

Each situation is different and context matters, but what are your strategies for dealing with this issue? I always feel my response is an epic fail and unable to strike the right combination of compassion and sincerity.

[Brian Kevin]

I feel love is something different for everyone. While traveling, I've met many people out and about; restaurants, movies, clubs, bars, theaters, hotel lobbys, gyms etc,etc (Male and Female) After a few meetings I must admit I start telling them I love them. I cherish all forms of life, good and bad. Everyone can change, after along rigorous process.

 

What I'm really saying is, love means alot of things, a client will and should understand that love and being in a serious and committed relationship are two different things. I've had a few really good, close and great clients come play into this grey area! No one has ever crossed a line beyond that! I've formed some long term friendships and clients since I've been traveling since I was 19.

 

This is one of those things you'll have to take at your own leisure, really thing about it. Some people consider "LOVE" a taboo and labled type of thing, but I think two mature adults can handle it! the burning desire of a FUCKING HOTT session is undeniable

[big-n-tall]

Not an escort...

 

However, it depends on the situation I guess. Once in the heat of passion I blurted out I love you. At the time I wasn't really thinking about it but latter realized I might have made a faux pas. I really didn't mean it... I meant to say I love fucking you. It was said and I couldn't take it back. Luckily, the guy is awesome, so it wasn't an issue.

 

If the guy says it to you in the heat of passion (and it's not a reoccurring thing with the same client) I say brush it off. If you and the guy have become closely acquainted/have a friendly relationship and he just randomly says it. I say talk to him about what he meant, but only if it bothers you.

 

As BK remarked. There are different types of love... (also thanks Mr. Irons). If you're comfortable with discussing it with him, talk about it, especially if you want to keep him as a client.

 

I have been told by escorts (who've become friends) that they love me and vice versa. I don't love them in a romantic way, but as friend... as a person... I definitely do.

[mike carey]

Each situation is different and context matters, but what are your strategies for dealing with this issue? I always feel my response is an epic fail and unable to strike the right combination of compassion and sincerity.

I know you weren't asking me, and from your careful phrasing of the question you clearly understand the range of contexts in which this can occur. Brian touched on this too.

 

I could easily say I love an escort and in my mind I know that I mean I love him in the context of this hour/night I am with him. If I had said it and you didn't hear me that way, I would hope that you would have pushed back gently to see what I really meant. If you thought I meant I really loved you, run away as fast as you can. If you figured out that I meant I love you right now, but I can walk away, and that if we met again in two months (and if that were the case, I would want to meet you) I will love you again and will be able to walk away again, then there would be nothing to worry about.

 

Work out what the guy means and react accordingly. If you think he really loves you try to ease him out of it gently, he should understand. If he clearly does not, then 'run away' applies again!

[Mocha]

I like this line from one of my favorite artist's album, under the song "where u at?"

 

"They say you never know what you have until you lose it

If you promise your girl something, you better do it

 

You can't tell a woman you love her, are you stupid?

Words don't express your love, you got to prove it."

So yeah...there's a difference between loving, and being IN love. The latter is the one you'd want to be concerned about. Besides, if a guy is full of shit, they'll just say whatever they feel like in the moment.

[LADoug1]

In terms of romantic love I thought I loved an escort but came to realize that despite his sweetness and caring I was in love with a fantasy.

[Rudynate]

I said "I love you"to an escort once. It was just a misstep. I didn't really mean "I LOVE YOU." I meant more that I loved what we did together, or loved our time together, or some such. He is a special man, but I'm not in love with him.

[Kenny]

Love is not a feeling. It's a behaviour, a way of being. Love is something you do.

[jawjateck]

I meant what I said. Just surrender to the passion.

[RadioRob]

Loving someone and BEING in love with someone are two different things. (No, I'm not about to go all RuPaul in here.... bare with me.)

 

I've always been of the opinion that actions speak louder than words. Words can be very imprecise.

 

If the person is obviously thinking there is more to the relationship than client/escort, it's a problem. If it was a moment in the heat, or more of a meaning of "I love what we're doing" or "I love my time with you", great!

[MikeyGMin]

I said "I love you"to an escort once. It was just a misstep. I didn't really mean "I LOVE YOU." I meant more that I loved what we did together, or loved our time together, or some such. He is a special man, but I'm not in love with him.

 

Ditto. I have a regular that I see every few weeks. I love our time together, I love everything we do together. I really care about him as a person and would be there for him if he ever needed anything. I love our arrangement but am always conscious of the boundaries.

[+ purplekow]

I love all the men I am with. Then I come and then not so much.

[Rudynate]

Ditto. I have a regular that I see every few weeks. I love our time together, I love everything we do together. I really care about him as a person and would be there for him if he ever needed anything. I love our arrangement but am always conscious of the boundaries.

 

 

Exactly.

[+ purplekow]

Mike, if we ever get together and I say I love you, please respond "I love you too" that will snap me back to reality. If that doesn't do it, I suggest saying: By the way, it is an extra $50 if i say: I love you. I can guarantee that I will not love you at that point.

[+ Keith30309]

I've found myself restrained from uttering the words a few times... it would be awkward, perhaps uncomfortable, and I've a poor track record in keeping my emotions in check.

 

In thinking about it, I agree with Doug:

In terms of romantic love I thought I loved an escort but came to realize that despite his sweetness and caring I was in love with a fantasy.

 

It's the 2-hour illusion that elicits the feelings and words and, when the time is up, the illusion vanishes in a vapor. It's probably best that way.

[RadioRob]

I'm a Star Trek fan... a visit with my favorite gentlemen are my trips to the holodeck. Yes, when our time is up... it all disappears and to the (not so) straight and narrow.

[+ Truereview]

I'm missing some facts here. Is the client saying it repeatedly or did he/she just blurt it out?

 

If the latter, it is probably a faux pas. Give the client some grace by simply smiling and continuing to do what you were doing. the client will either get the hint or appreciate your grace during an impulsive moment. However, if the client continues telling you this, you may need to set boundaries. maybe you could bring a gag rag next time?

[AdamSmith]

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr02/2013/2/19/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-15644-1361291914-2.gif

[geminibear]

[BaronArtz]

I loved him. I said it. He said he felt safe and protected with me. We got into a sugardaddy relationship, which lasted for about 10 months. It ended in a break up. Now we are trying to be 'friends' but it is not working too well.

[Tigger]

I think some are using too broad a brush for the term 'love' here. I think Mike is talking about a client(s) stating they are 'falling' in love/have fallen 'in love' with him. I think in most cases the difference between liking, general love, and romantic love would be apparent from the context at the time the information is given.

 

I think the only fair thing to do is not see the client anymore. I'm not saying it's the escort's fault in most cases unless the escort is a scuzzbucket who is leading the client on to keep getting hired. If the escort continues to see the client once the client expresses his feelings, how can the client not help but feel the escort on some level must like him too even if the escort says he only likes the client as a friend?

[+ purplekow]

I think some are using too broad a brush for the term 'love' here. I think Mike is talking about a client(s) stating they are 'falling' in love/have fallen 'in love' with him. I think in most cases the difference between liking, general love, and romantic love would be apparent from the context at the time the information is given.

 

I think the only fair thing to do is not see the client anymore. I'm not saying it's the escort's fault in most cases unless the escort is a scuzzbucket who is leading the client on to keep getting hired. If the escort continues to see the client once the client expresses his feelings, how can the client not help but feel the escort on some level must like him too even if the escort says he only likes the client as a friend?

Because the clients are grown men and should be able to distinguish such things. I agree that if it is the case the the client is mentally impaired, that leaving him may be the best solution, but assuming most clients are men mature enough to earn enough money to spend it on escorts, that the client should be held responsible for his reaction to a truthful statement from an escort.

[Tigger]

Because the clients are grown men and should be able to distinguish such things. I agree that if it is the case the the client is mentally impaired, that leaving him may be the best solution, but assuming most clients are men mature enough to earn enough money to spend it on escorts, that the client should be held responsible for his reaction to a truthful statement from an escort.

 

I'm not sure I understand your point. My point is that emotions are powerful things. We can 'say' whatever we want-such as-"I know being with an escort is a somewhat of a fantasy. I would never fall in love with an escort." However, we aren't taking about intelligence and understanding. We are talking about the heart. As the title of a famous song notes, "Why Do Fools Fall In Love". Hearts and love are not rational. As a famous director once said, "The heart wants what it wants." A large proportion of the time it doesn't respond to logic. Unless an escort reciprocates those feelings for the client, why would he want to continue meeting the client? In most cases it's just going to make the client fall in deeper and cause further hurt since the client won't ever be able to have what his heart desires.

[MikeyGMin]

As a famous director once said, "The heart wants what it wants." .

 

Tangent time. Sorry Mike, but you aren't really getting much advice from escorts anyways. :)

 

Do you know who said that? I have used that quote dozens of times to explain the unexplainable when it comes to matters of the heart. It doesn't make it any less true, but I would love to know who the hell I'm quoting.

[Rudynate]

Because the clients are grown men and should be able to distinguish such things. I agree that if it is the case the the client is mentally impaired, that leaving him may be the best solution, but assuming most clients are men mature enough to earn enough money to spend it on escorts, that the client should be held responsible for his reaction to a truthful statement from an escort.

 

 

This is such an important point. A grown man doesn't wake up and suddenly realize that life just isn't worth living if he can't live it with his escort. If he falls madly in love, it's because he allowed it to happen. He started seeing too much of the escort, he discarded boundaries that should have been allowed to remain in place, etc., etc.