Friday Funnies

[+ azdr0710]

browsing around looking for the filming locations for "Blazing Saddles" (what else would I do on Easter?!) led me to this classic scene with Carol Arthur, wife of Dom DeLuise.......

 

 

and that led me to this earlier clip of her with Dom and Dean Martin.....Carol died this last November....and that's Dean Martin's oldest son, Craig, as the bartender

 

Edited April 5, 2021 by azdr0710

[mike carey]

[+ oldNbusted]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=2752597568398677

 

Alternative link:

[Guest]

Sexist/PI commercials you wouldn't see today....

[+ Just966]

The worst part is that in a harsh winter this is completely accurate.

Moreover on the Atlantic Coast of Canada.

Luckily I'm in the most southern city of our nation, the glorious Toronto,

And this year we had one of the warmest winters on Record. ☀?

And on the praires we had a decent winter but that still means a few weeks of -40 C but you just dress up and head out for your hour hike! Anything around -35 C and below was cross country skiing weather:) Luckily we had snow from 2nd week of Nov until March 13th and then first bike ride March 15th!

[mike carey]

A little bit clever.

[lonely_john]

Not sure if THIS belongs here but it really made LOL!

[samhexum]

[mike carey]

This isn't so much 'funny' in a laugh out loud sort of way, more 'makes you laugh' in an smh way.

[BuffaloKyle]

Dog got loose on the track and took first place!

 

[mike carey]

Design Matters.

 

 

And the thread it comes from:

[mike carey]

Grammatical joke lifted from Twitter:

 

Wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

Wife: OK. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

[Guest]

What the wife said is just the type of response I might give in real life...

[gallahadesquire]

[gallahadesquire]

I don’t get this.

[samhexum]

(below)

 

I don’t get this.

 

T.G.I.F.= THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY

Y.W.I.F.= YOU'RE WELCOME IT'S FRIDAY

(IT TOOK ME A MINUTE TO GET IT, TOO)

[gallahadesquire]

Thanks. It could have been “N.P.I.F.”

[mike carey]

OK, I take your point that this may not be a 'funny' as such, but whatever. I saw it on one of those compilations.

 

Dear Atheists: How is it that cavemen survived the asteroid but the dinosaurs didn't?

Reply: Social distancing, they stayed 65 million years apart.

[gallahadesquire]

To FlatEarthers:

 

The Earth can’t be flat. If it were, the Cats would have pushed everything off the edge already.

[Guest]

OK, I take your point that this may not be a 'funny' as such, but whatever. I saw it on one of those compilations.

 

Dear Atheists: How is it that cavemen survived the asteroid but the dinosaurs didn't?

Reply: Social distancing, they stayed 65 million years apart.

According to the Bible, the earth is only 6000 years old, so someone who thinks the Bible is the word of God wouldn't believe in the asteroid or dinosaurs to begin with...

[+ azdr0710]

[lonely_john]

SUPER LONELY! ???

 

width=443pxhttps://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2F736x%2F66%2F26%2F80%2F6626809fdefbb19af23085f76bc07ada--im-single-living-single.jpg&f=1&nofb=1[/img]

[Guest]

[mike carey]

An own goal by the mother, you could say.

 

[KrisParr]

It’s almost Friday. True story:

 

So I get an email this morning that an order from my mail order pharmacy, scheduled for delivery today (and requires a signature), would be delayed until tomorrow. That’s a problem since I’m going to be out of town. A few minutes later, I get a phone call (recorded message) with the same information, but if I want to reschedule, simply call this 800 number and they will be glad to deliver at a more convenient time. Cool. I call the number.

Hello (computer voice) ... and the usual half dozen prompts to be sure it’s me. Finally, “how can I help you?”

Reschedule delivery.

No problem.

Then a litany of my last 3 orders ... a plea for me to enroll in a medication packaging plan, and eventually it takes me to the main menu.

I repeated, “reschedule delivery”

“She” replied, would you like to hear your order history?

Fuck no. Customer service.

Do you mean, “representative?”

Sure.

Human comes on the line. I explain the whole situation. He tells me to call UPS.

But YOU called ME with YOUR fucking phone number! Why didn’t you TELL me to call UPS in the first place?

No response from human.

So I ask, can you give me the number for UPS?

I’m placed on hold, and eventually get the number.

===

Thank you for calling UPS (computer)

Please enter a bunch of digits from your tracking number.

Okay.

“Your package is on the truck scheduled for delivery by 8 pm today”

Wha??

Would you like to reschedule?

Uh, hell, I don’t know.

Just a reminder- your package requires a signature.

Whatever.

=======

5pm - doorbell rings - my package, which supposedly requires a signature is on the doormat and the UPS driver is headed down the street and sort of waves.

=======

Ah, technology. Ain’t it swell?