Conundrum

[Connosieurhands]

I hired a provider last night. He quoted $X for a one hour massage. I said I can’t do $X but I can do a slightly lower $Y. He readily agreed. When he got to my place, he said for $Y, he’d only do 40 mins. I was annoyed but he did the 40 min session. I enjoyed myself but he literally at minute 38 said ok 2 minutes left (clock watchers are annoying but I was also being cheap so it’s fair).
 

Anyway, when he left, he left his watch and his bracelet behind. I tried messaging him on the app we were communicating on before but he wasn’t online. He then said can you walk my stuff over to me a few blocks because he had left the area so it would at least be midway for him. Wtf. Like what do you do in that scenario??

 

I could have just blocked him and thrown out his shit but I didn’t want to be a bad person. He didn’t even seem grateful that I walked over and returned his stuff (just a perfunctory thank you). 

[nate_sf]

He left the stuff at your place, he should have come back and picked it up. You were generous to have met him half way - that speaks better to your good nature rather than his.

[+ Jamie21]

Never negotiate his rate. It sets the interaction off on the wrong foot. If you weren’t prepared to pay his rate you should just walk away:  ‘thanks but that’s not in my budget’.
I’m guessing he accepted your counter offer reluctantly probably because he had nothing else (maybe it was a quiet day). But he’s not going to be doing it with much enthusiasm, he already knows you don’t think he’s worth what he quoted you. Then he’s trying it on with you to see if you’ll deliver his stuff because he doesn’t value you. It cuts both ways. 
 

[+ SirBillybob]

Have I got this right?

Clock-watcher serving cock forgets watch he watched, assigning watch-walking client duties off the clock, half-cocked a share of the walk.

Patek Pathétique. 

Edited 3 hours ago by SirBillybob

[+ SirBillybob]

Cuts both ways. Integrity over charm bracelets.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I never negotiate. I either pay what is quoted or walk away. I’ve even had providers try to negotiate once I’ve said no thanks. The only time I did that, I made a deposit and then he continued to negotiate and basically harass me. Then wouldn’t return the deposit (with 48 hours notice). He’s the one of two escorts that’s ever fucked me over on a deposit in 7 years of hiring.

I’m still not opposed to deposits but will never negotiate again. 

[+ SirBillybob]

[connoisseur]

[jmichaeliii]

24 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I never negotiate. I either pay what is quoted or walk away. I’ve even had providers try to negotiate once I’ve said no thanks. The only time I did that, I made a deposit and then he continued to negotiate and basically harass me. Then wouldn’t return the deposit (with 48 hours notice). He’s the one of two escorts that’s ever fucked me over on a deposit in 7 years of hiring.

I’m still not opposed to deposits but will never negotiate again. 

The only time I have been successful is if I offer extra hours.  If they are 350/hr and propose booking for 3 hrs, I often will get their time for 300 per.  I don't push for it but accept if it's amenable to them.  To this point I have not been short changed with the experience.

[Connosieurhands]

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Never negotiate his rate. It sets the interaction off on the wrong foot. If you weren’t prepared to pay his rate you should just walk away:  ‘thanks but that’s not in my budget’.
I’m guessing he accepted your counter offer reluctantly probably because he had nothing else (maybe it was a quiet day). But he’s not going to be doing it with much enthusiasm, he already knows you don’t think he’s worth what he quoted you. Then he’s trying it on with you to see if you’ll deliver his stuff because he doesn’t value you. It cuts both ways. 
 

To be clear I didn’t try to negotiate. I said no thanks too expensive. He responded and said how much could you do and I said $Y. I left this out for the sake of brevity but do you not recommend responding if the provider tries to negotiate if you’ve said their offering is too expensive for you?

[Connosieurhands]

1 hour ago, SirBillybob said:

Have I got this right?

Clock-watcher serving cock forgets watch he watched, assigning watch-walking client duties off the clock, half-cocked a share of the walk.

Patek Pathétique. 

Hahah you win this thread. 

[+ SirBillybob]

46 minutes ago, Connosieurhands said:

To be clear I didn’t try to negotiate. I said no thanks too expensive. He responded and said how much could you do and I said $Y. I left this out for the sake of brevity but do you not recommend responding if the provider tries to negotiate if you’ve said their offering is too expensive for you?

We don’t have escrow options in this context, that offer shared risk naturally emerging with reciprocal yet natural mistrust, and associated safety nets. Escrow principles are not front-led by rigidity. If escrow were accessible there would be more flexibility in terms of resource exchange, negotiation, and contract place-holding.

Thus, my view is that there is scope for any of that without those guardrails. Otherwise, on the whole, our trade constraints may, well, constrain us, while signalling more overtly the dirty little secret that hovers behind escrow in the first place. Life is imperfect. 

Edited 1 hour ago by SirBillybob

[MikeW]

1 hour ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I never negotiate. I either pay what is quoted or walk away. I’ve even had providers try to negotiate once I’ve said no thanks. The only time I did that, I made a deposit and then he continued to negotiate and basically harass me. Then wouldn’t return the deposit (with 48 hours notice). He’s the one of two escorts that’s ever fucked me over on a deposit in 7 years of hiring.

I’m still not opposed to deposits but will never negotiate again. 

This maybe not the right thread, can you negotiate with someone who you have seen for a few times booking them for 60-120 min and when doing 5-6 hour booking see if they are open to lower the hourly rate? I think in this situation it’s ok to see if they are open to negotiating since you are an established client and booking multiple hours. 

Edited 1 hour ago by MikeW

[+ SirBillybob]

Isn’t there an operations manual than would render these discussions unnecessary. 🤷🏼‍♂️😏

[+ SirBillybob]

An hourly rate needs to exist because median session durations trend to 60 minutes. That is the ONLY reason. The rest is negotiable. Don’t ask? … don’t get; don’t discover what’s revisionist in stone. Here, you’ll get answers that others, including me, want you to embrace for their own perspective-anchoring. Talk to your service provider. 

Edited 1 hour ago by SirBillybob

[Mark_fl]

I don't negotiate, but I've been known to say something like:

"Thank you for your response. I'm sure you're worth it,  but that's out of my price range."

That's all. If they want to make another offer, great, but I haven't insulted anyone, and would expect full service should they make another offer.

[Nue2thegame]

I think that you treated him very kindly. FWIW, If I feel that the quoted rate is out of my range, I always politely decline and walk away. Any attempt on their part to negotiate a compromise is likely to leave both of us dissatisfied - him because he likely will feel shorted and me feeling that he would probably be resentful and hold back. IMHO  I never try to negotiate. 

Edited 54 minutes ago by Nue2thegame

[+ Jamie21]

1 hour ago, Connosieurhands said:

To be clear I didn’t try to negotiate. I said no thanks too expensive. He responded and said how much could you do and I said $Y. I left this out for the sake of brevity but do you not recommend responding if the provider tries to negotiate if you’ve said their offering is too expensive for you?

Ah ok. I get clients saying it’s too expensive and I just reply with ‘ok good luck’ and leave it at that. I’m sure some of them hope I’ll come back like your guy did but I think that’s a mistake on his part.

His rate is the value he puts on his service. In this business that’s a very personal value because effectively you are selling yourself. So by reducing his rate, in response to your saying he’s too expensive, he’s effectively selling himself for less than he thinks he’s worth. Is that a good start point for a pleasurable experience? Will he be meeting you with a desire to please or will he be slightly resentful that you knocked him down, even if he responded to your answer on his rate with a reduction? Negotiating the rate is never good in my view. 

My approach is to never ever discount. It reduces your value, it makes the client think less of you and it leaves no one satisfied because the client gets a sub par experience. 

These services aren’t cheap, it’s usually decent amounts $300 upwards. If you’re looking for say $50 off are you really not able to afford the $300? I’m sure that most of the time the clients seeking a discount can afford the full price but they just like the idea of getting a ‘deal’ because it puts them one up on the guy they’re hiring and on all the other clients. It’s just a game.