Encouraging Providers to Participate more on Forums.

[+ PhileasFogg]

I think the constructive contribution of providers is important.  

Not unique to any public gathering, the challenge comes with the intersection of an uncivil provider, an uncivil client, or both.   Replace “uncivil” with “immature” and my observation is more typical.  

But there’s more upside to providers being heard than downside.  Combine that with great moderation like we have here, and it’s a strong net positive. 

Edited 12 hours ago by PhileasFogg

[Mark_fl]

What's also been nice is that you can more easily determine which providers respect the clients and which are condescending. 80% of the providers who post here are great. Sadly those who are anonymous are anonymous for a reason. If we knew who they were, we would stay far away.

Edited 5 hours ago by Mark_fl

[DznNYC]

This forum could be a real asset to providers.  Being newer to RM, I only have 500 characters to communicate who I am and what I offer.  This offers a chance to communicate more thoughtfully and give guys on the other side of this industry a more complete view of who I am. 

But this can be a treacherous place for providers!  Many of us have scaled back participation for that reason. 

There's some really dominant toxic voices.  There's a loud peanut gallery that seems to make a hobby of comments ranging from critical to derogatory about providers they've never met or hired.  ("Needs to hit the gym," "Terrible tattoos," "Too girlie!" "Looks older than he lists,"  "PNP means he's a junkie!" "Smoker!")  There's a strong risk of slander, against which it's all but impossible to defend yourself.  (I've watched it happen to providers I know well and trust!)  And there's some known scammers - about whom we all warn each other - regularly contributing as though they're legitimate clients.  

If there were more to be gained here for us to participate, it would probably draw more of us back.  A sub-forum to promote ourselves?  Would anyone actually take advantage?  Maybe not. 

Worth noting: Every client I've met who uses this site - contributor or lurker - has been a top notch guy, just doing their research a bit more thoroughly.  So the issue really does just seem to be the loudest most toxic voices.  

[+ KensingtonHomo]

22 minutes ago, DznNYC said:

There's some really dominant toxic voices.  There's a loud peanut gallery that seems to make a hobby of comments ranging from critical to derogatory about providers they've never met or hired.  ("Needs to hit the gym," "Terrible tattoos," "Too girlie!" "Looks older than he lists,"  "PNP means he's a junkie!" "Smoker!")  There's a strong risk of slander, against which it's all but impossible to defend yourself.  (I've watched it happen to providers I know well and trust!)  And there's some known scammers - about whom we all warn each other - regularly contributing as though they're legitimate clients.  

And we all know who they are. My question is, why do the moderators tolerate this behavior? 

[Nightowl]

14 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

And we all know who they are. My question is, why do the moderators tolerate this behavior? 

I’ve wondered the same thing.

[Mark_fl]

1 hour ago, DznNYC said:

 ("Needs to hit the gym," "Terrible tattoos," "Too girlie!" "Looks older than he lists,"  "PNP means he's a junkie!" "Smoker!") 

With the exception of the accusation of being a junkie (although even that as you wrote it) these are all opinions. I'm sure all providers realize that they have characteristics that will not appeal to everyone. You can add "too muscular", "too thin" "too tall" and anything else to the list.

Are any of these comments necessary? Of course not. People can and should just move along if they don't like something (although I don't see anything wrong with a comment such as "he's georgious, but really hate tattoos).

If a provider gets bent out of shape by this sort of opinions, he's probably in the wrong line of business. Its an obvious part of putting yourself out there for sale. And you know if you weren't attractive in general, you wouldn't be hired in the first place. So you're likely pretty hot.

[+ Jamie21]

5 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

So you're likely pretty hot.

Yeah I know. Thanks for confirming it for me.
<<stands back awaiting abuse>>
 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

16 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

Are any of these comments necessary? Of course not. People can and should just move along if they don't like something (although I don't see anything wrong with a comment such as "he's georgious, but really hate tattoos).

If a provider gets bent out of shape by this sort of opinions, he's probably in the wrong line of business. Its an obvious part of putting yourself out there for sale.

The comments create an atmosphere of nasty bitterness. It's not just providers who have tattoos or nose rings or are feminine, fat or thin. Clients also present a wide range and are, very likely, less conventionally attractive than providers. What offends my sensibilities is that it assumes all clients are shallow, abs-obsessed, judgmental A-holes. 

We saw a provider over the weekend. On paper, he's "too short" for me. He also lacks abs but is otherwise attractive and quite fit. We initially saw him with another provider who had recommended him. The other provider (B) is more conventionally attractive than the one we fired this weekend (A). But, we ended up hiring provider (A) solo this weekend because it fits Dan Savages three Gs of a good sex partner: Good, Giving, and Game. Meanwhile, Provider B was decent in terms of sexual technique but not particularly giving or game. 

[d.anders]

1 hour ago, KensingtonHomo said:

why do the moderators tolerate this behavior?

You mean, obsessing over where a post should go isn't stressful enough? 😈  Moderating behavior? Have you ever tried that? Would you do it for free? If you start moderating what people write and how they write, in short time the board will be empty. Careful what you wish for.

Most internet forums are archaic. Young people don't and won't participate. God forbid you try to get someone under 30 use to email anymore. Writing takes time, and nobody has time. That's why the HE fraudsters can do so well.

I know from my former hairdresser partner that this question is a longtime conundrum in the intimate service industry. Is it appropriate to socialize with customers? He always said an emphatic no. My partner said it's OK to be friendly with a customer, but never assume they are your friend.

Forums like these are social environments. Some people think it's easy to mix business with social pleasure. It's not. Some guys know how to navigate challenging waters. Others turn into gold fish when facing a shark.

A review site, especially about sex, can't be a friendly place for providers by default. Who is good at accepting criticism? Do you know any actors who love their critics, and want to be social with them? Let's get real.

I've discovered several new masseurs thanks to this forum. I have also learned more about escorting. I would hate for the candid review-speak to end. If there are smart providers who wish to use the forum to self-promote and socialize with customers, then I support that. But they have to know, or learn, what they can do and what they can't do. It's kind of like joining any social club. Human nature sets the rules.

[Mark_fl]

3 hours ago, d.anders said:

 God forbid you try to get someone under 30 use to email anymore. Writing takes time, and nobody has time. 

No. It doesn't take time, and young people have nothing but time, if you look at the amount of time spent gaming and online. Not being afraid of being portrayed as a grumpy old man (I've been old since childhood), I can say what they don't have are the language skills to communicate intelligently.  A generation of texting has removed that skill. 

Edited 5 hours ago by Mark_fl

[d.anders]

1 hour ago, Mark_fl said:

No. It doesn't take time, and young people have nothing but time... A generation of texting has removed that skill. 

I was trying to be less cynical. I agree, young people have plenty of time, but far too many have no interest in what grandpa says or does. I think the "text only" and "photo required" trend, especially with gay sex workers, is only going to get worse before it gets better. The texting generation can skirt by with a failing grade in English, and attractive providers who learn how to do OnlyFans can make millions without ever seeing or visiting with a customer. Times, they are a changing. 

As for the OP's question, moving forward, I imagine trying to get anyone to join a board like this will become less and less easy.

 

[HockeyMan]

The Deli and Spas & Masseurs are not good sub-forms for providers. Review focused discussions benefit clients. This Questions About Hiring sub-forum is better for providers.