Question To Providers & Clients About Companionship

[Elite_XL]

My question to both of you guys is about the general expectation, when and if, there is a meeting more towards companionship rather than anything sexual.

The reason for asking this is that, I get the impression that it should be relatively free because we are being invited to a place to spend time with them while having the dinner or whatever being paid for.

What would also be the thought of a provider on this. Would you charge your regular rate, discounted or depends on the situation? If so, how much?

Keep in mind that Im asking for general curiosity and to understand both perspectives. I see it as still being a job for a provider, as we need to tune into the general conversation and vibe. Either way, let me know what your thoughts are.

[Keenan]

As a provider I'm being paid for my time whether it's going to get dinner with the client or spend time in the bedroom.  As a result I would charge my regular rate either way.  If it's a regular customer and depending on how frequently there might be times when I give a discount here and there but in general I charge for my time and whatever happens during that time.

[Mark_fl]

8 minutes ago, Keenan said:

As a provider I'm being paid for my time whether it's going to get dinner with the client or spend time in the bedroom. 

I get that the "legal line" is that you are paid for your time, but I think that is rarely the case. From what I've seen, providers have quoted rates based on what my expectations are, and how 'invasive' we might be.

I would think if I got to the point with any provider that I wanted to spend social time at dinner or some event, it would be because we have a mutual like for each other, and paying all expenses of the day would be ample, plus maybe a small gift. Otherwise, for me, I would find the experience off-putting.

Paying someone to be intimate with my old, hairy self is one thing,  but I'd like to think I'm enjoyable to spend time with. If they didn't feel the same way, it would suck the fun out of it for me anyway, and I'd rather pass.

[DenverDad]

As a client, I always expect to pay the provider’s asked rate, whether we are going out to dinner or just cuddling or fucking. I cover all expenses for the time also. 
 

As a consultant, I charge by the hour, no matter if I’m just sitting in a meeting or building an app. I’m getting paid for my time and my expertise. I see no difference between my situation and providers. 
 

 

[Keenan]

46 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

I get that the "legal line" is that you are paid for your time, but I think that is rarely the case. From what I've seen, providers have quoted rates based on what my expectations are, and how 'invasive' we might be.

I would think if I got to the point with any provider that I wanted to spend social time at dinner or some event, it would be because we have a mutual like for each other, and paying all expenses of the day would be ample, plus maybe a small gift. Otherwise, for me, I would find the experience off-putting.

Paying someone to be intimate with my old, hairy self is one thing,  but I'd like to think I'm enjoyable to spend time with. If they didn't feel the same way, it would suck the fun out of it for me anyway, and I'd rather pass.

If it's a mutual like then the provider might see it differently but at times the like is more "one-sided".  By that I mean the client feels something while the provider doesn't.  It's part of the job of the provider to make each client feel special.  If it's something that you'd expect that the provider doesn't charge their regular rate then before arranging something make sure you talk with the provider and make that known.  The provider could be fine with it or want to keep it strictly business, meaning they still charge the rate for their time.  It shouldn't be off-putting rather it gives you the answer you are looking for, move onto the next provider.

[+ SidewaysDM]

17 minutes ago, DenverDad said:

As a client, I always expect to pay the provider’s asked rate, whether we are going out to dinner or just cuddling or fucking. I cover all expenses for the time also. 
 

As a consultant, I charge by the hour, no matter if I’m just sitting in a meeting or building an app. I’m getting paid for my time and my expertise. I see no difference between my situation and providers. 
 

 

I agree completely DenverDad. You should pay provider for their time, no matter how you spend it with them. I generally book for 3 hours. I enjoy the BFE, so that usually entails eating a meal together, which I pay for. Having an enjoyable conversation, and then that naturally leads to a natural and organic vibe, to enjoy some great sex. Every minute of that time should be paid in full…….if you go over you should pay for the extra time, and give a good tip, if the service was excellent! 

[mike carey]

This is likely to be a contentious subject, but I don't think it should be. As far as I can see, a relationship between an escort and a client is professional. Full Stop. Until it isn't. But, as with most things, the devil is in the detail.

'Companionship' can range from a stand-alone engagement, where company is demanded by a social situation, or one where it is desired, just to be with someone else, in public or in private, for a time.

It can also be in the context of an existing arrangement that involves the more usual escort pursuits. As I see it, an escort is entitled to charge for companionship time as he sees fit, whether it's for dinner after an appointment or a separate commitment of time. He can offer his usual rate, a lower (or higher!) one or comp the extra time together. He can even share his time for some activities without charging at all. That is his decision. He could do it for personal reasons, or because charging less, or not charging for certain activities, was part of his business strategy. But I don't think a client has any right to expect it, or for an expectation to grow from having it happen before that it was now how the relationship would work all the time.

Don't get me wrong, there is no reason why escort-client meetings should not be compensated in different ways or to different extents when the circumstances of the meetings differed. If an escort values a nice dinner, or a weekend at a resort paid by a client, there's no reason why he wouldn't choose not to charge an additional fee. But there is also no reason to expect that he will. As the client, propose the meeting and the activity and ask his fee. Entitlement can be disconcerting.

@Elite_XL, I'm not sure whether the impression you had that it should be relatively free is what you see as a general consensus, or what you see as good business sense. It's good to see someone engage openly and thoughtfully on the subject. But that just seems to be the way you operate.

[Redwine56]

28 minutes ago, DenverDad said:

As a client, I always expect to pay the provider’s asked rate, whether we are going out to dinner or just cuddling or fucking. I cover all expenses for the time also. 
 

As a consultant, I charge by the hour, no matter if I’m just sitting in a meeting or building an app. I’m getting paid for my time and my expertise. I see no difference between my situation and providers. 
 

 

But what if your client is so pleased with your work that he offers to take you out to dinner.  Are you going to "charge him for your time" when he is buying you dinner?  I believe there are times when exceptions can be made.  Of course, the feeling to spend time together has to be mutual.  

[+ purplekow]

I usually hire travelers and usually early in the evening.  After the initial festivities have been completed, I sometimes will ask the provider to join me off the clock.  I offer the invitation very specifically as off the clock. If the provider says yes, it is likely that he does not have another client in the near future and he has to eat anyway and he knows he is going to get a nice meal at a good restaurant.  I consider it as a tip and I do not expect anything in return.  If he does not wish to have a meal with me or if other plans supercede, that is fine too.  I do not mind eating alone or to making a meal for myself.  

 

Edited Monday at 04:37 AM by purplekow

[BigK]

21 minutes ago, Redwine56 said:

But what if your client is so pleased with your work that he offers to take you out to dinner.  Are you going to "charge him for your time" when he is buying you dinner?  I believe there are times when exceptions can be made.  Of course, the feeling to spend time together has to be mutual.  

When I do occasionally offer to take an escort out to dinner, I clarify ahead of time that it would be off the clock.  They are under no obligation to accept my offer.

Anybody I’ve made the offer to has accepted it, and I think it’s generally because we explored areas of mutual interest while we were meeting.

[Elite_XL]

45 minutes ago, mike carey said:

It can also be in the context of an existing arrangement that involves the more usual escort pursuits. As I see it, an escort is entitled to charge for companionship time as he sees fit, whether it's for dinner after an appointment or a separate commitment of time. He can offer his usual rate, a lower (or higher!) one or comp the extra time together. He can even share his time for some activities without charging at all. That is his decision. He could do it for personal reasons, or because charging less, or not charging for certain activities, was part of his business strategy. But I don't think a client has any right to expect it, or for an expectation to grow from having it happen before that it was now how the relationship would work all the time.

@Elite_XL, I'm not sure whether the impression you had that it should be relatively free is what you see as a general consensus, or what you see as good business sense. It's good to see someone engage openly and thoughtfully on the subject. But that just seems to be the way you operate.

I do agree that this is a bit of a controversial topic that seems to differ in preferences. 

There are also lines in the relationship that can get blurred quite easily and very quickly. One sided lines where emotions get intertwined between the client and the provider. Expectations shift, and its complex to walk back into what it was before.

There are times where it is mentioned about meeting off the clock, which is fine, as long as it is told. Other times, it is not mentioned whatsoever. When it is not mentioned, thats when expectations arise, miscommunications happen and one party gets upset.

Why does this seem like such a sensitive topic to some though?

[Redwine56]

40 minutes ago, Elite_XL said:

I do agree that this is a bit of a controversial topic that seems to differ in preferences. 

There are also lines in the relationship that can get blurred quite easily and very quickly. One sided lines where emotions get intertwined between the client and the provider. Expectations shift, and its complex to walk back into what it was before.

There are times where it is mentioned about meeting off the clock, which is fine, as long as it is told. Other times, it is not mentioned whatsoever. When it is not mentioned, thats when expectations arise, miscommunications happen and one party gets upset.

Why does this seem like such a sensitive topic to some though?

Whenever the almighty $dollar$ AND emotions are involved, it is a sensitive situation.  

[+ purplekow]

35 minutes ago, Elite_XL said:

I do agree that this is a bit of a controversial topic that seems to differ in preferences. 

There are also lines in the relationship that can get blurred quite easily and very quickly. One sided lines where emotions get intertwined between the client and the provider. Expectations shift, and its complex to walk back into what it was before.

There are times where it is mentioned about meeting off the clock, which is fine, as long as it is told. Other times, it is not mentioned whatsoever. When it is not mentioned, thats when expectations arise, miscommunications happen and one party gets upset.

Why does this seem like such a sensitive topic to some though?

It is all a matter or expectation and the fantasy portion of hiring.  If one has to pay for dinner and for a dinner companion and for sex before or after (or in the bathroom during) it is a lot of hits to some clients' ego.  Also paying for that meal and the companion to be there, confirms that this is a fantasy and not by any stretch of the imagination, a date or a friend.  On some level clients know that, but on the level of buying a lottery ticket and imagining on what one would spend the money, some clients suspend belief and like to think the provider actually wants to be there so why should he pay.    For the provider, I think, it is a matter of getting paid  for overtime, as some think of themselves as an hourly employee.  If the boss brings in donuts, in lieu of overtime,  the employing may be enjoying eating a particulrly loaded Bavarian Cream, but he would likely be doing something more enjoyable unlesse he is being paid.   

One also has to recall, that some clients have no difficulty paying for time in bed, in the restaurant, on the ride back and forth, in the bar before, in the club afterwards. and some just do not have that kind of cash.  So those of us who are not as financially well settled, may have escorts who have many clients who do not think twice about it.  

I did have an escort who I saw regularly for years.  One day he calls to let me know he needed to talk about something and could we have lunch. Without full details which are complex, the question of who was going to pay for this came up.   The escort said, the escort never pays unless he wants to do so.  We did not have lunch and we have not seen each other since.  There are details which might make this statement less entitled,  but ultimately, at the time, a rift was formed by this along with some other minor things and it  built up to be basically an irreparable situation.  

[SecretProvider]

1 hour ago, Elite_XL said:

Why does this seem like such a sensitive topic to some though?

Because in your OP you are suggesting that providers should give clients their time for "relatively free".  

I don't know how long you have been in the game, but 'companionship only' time is quite often more strenuous than a sexual event. it can be very taxing.  After posting this, clients will be reaching out to providers and saying "well you should be spending all night with me because I hired you for one hour for sex and now I want someone to go to dinner with, and a walk through the park with etc etc. and Elite said it should be free." 

 

I charge for my time, and what we do in that time is up to the client. My hourly rate decreases for longer bookings. 

 

[mike carey]

@SecretProvider, I read Elite_XL's comment differently, but as I said in my earlier post I wasn't sure if that was how he intended it. I read it as saying that he had gained the impression that being relatively free was the general view of others, not that he had previously thought it was the case. Rather, that he was now unsure. As others have opined, it is not the general view, although some clients believe it should be.

[DMonDude]

One provider i hired spent a bunch of extra time with me after the actual session. We hung out, talked, got boba tea (his suggestion and he paid for mine) and then got lunch (also his suggestion, but i paid for his), then i dropped him off at a non-escort related obligation he had to go to. It was like the whole afternoon/into the evening, after the time i initially hired him for explicitly came to an end.

Was time he definitely could have went home and probably got another client in if desired or just relaxed, but maybe it was just more convenient for him to hang out till he had to do his other obligation, i don't know. There was no direct discussion about it from my end. It kinda just happened. And this was my first time hiring this guy, he was not a regular. He also wasn't new to the biz, so i don't think it was a newbie mistake type thing either. Great experience, but i was pretty puzzled by it at the time in a "why would someone do something that nice for me?" way 😆.

So i think kind of like @purplekow said, there is definitely something to be said for "off the clock"/non-work time with providers. Sometimes there definitely are blurred lines. Kind of like @mike carey said, it's a professional/work relationship until it suddenly (probably situationally) isn't. Like he also said. Maybe it's just something left to be pleasantly surprised by if a provider offers that, but the client shouldn't expect it. But also maybe doesn't hurt to ask if worded/presented correctly and you've got some rapport with the provider, at minimum.

Ultimately though, i still go into anything with providers expecting to pay their normal rates. If a provider specifically agrees/offers to hang out "off the clock" like the provider i mentioned did, then i think it makes sense that that's when things could operate differently in terms of what the client is and isn't paying for. But then that's not client/provider time at that point, it's their own leisure time. If it's escort time, regardless of if you're in the bed or at a fancy dinner. We clients should still be paying their normal rate in addition to things like food/drink/event ticket/transportation/etc.

[Elite_XL]

1 hour ago, SecretProvider said:

Because in your OP you are suggesting that providers should give clients their time for "relatively free".  

I don't know how long you have been in the game, but 'companionship only' time is quite often more strenuous than a sexual event. it can be very taxing.  After posting this, clients will be reaching out to providers and saying "well you should be spending all night with me because I hired you for one hour for sex and now I want someone to go to dinner with, and a walk through the park with etc etc. and Elite said it should be free." 

 

I charge for my time, and what we do in that time is up to the client. My hourly rate decreases for longer bookings. 

 

That is definitely not what I meant and Im sorry if I worded it wronglyor caused misunderstanding.

My point was that there is a mixed understanding on what the duties of a provider are, whether its for companionship or merely sex. Both of which can be demanding in their own way. 

Some seem to have an understanding for providers to be strictly for sex, which is fine. However, when one asks to spend extra time with them. The rate is something that should be clarified. 

[+ Jamie21]

If my client has initiated the ‘companionship’ session then it’s my normal rate. These sessions can sometimes have scope creep. It starts as ‘let’s have dinner and watch a film, what’s your rate?’ but during the film he suggests ‘come to my room for drinks’ and then it ends up with something more and it’s awkward to decline or to upsell in the moment. Also of course my time is my time and I could be seeing another client at full rate so why would I charge a lot less to the ‘companionship’ client for the same time? So it’s the normal rate, perhaps slightly discounted because these sessions usually last a bit longer. 

However if the time with the client was initiated by me, as in say after the paid session I like his company and I say ‘let’s go for a drink’ or he invites me out and I like him and want to go then it’s no charge because I’ve crossed the line from professional relationship to social relationship. Once that line is crossed though he’s never a paying client again. You can’t dip in and out. 
 

[56harrisond]

Companionship and rates discussion

 

[DenverDad]

7 hours ago, Redwine56 said:

But what if your client is so pleased with your work that he offers to take you out to dinner.  Are you going to "charge him for your time" when he is buying you dinner?  I believe there are times when exceptions can be made.  Of course, the feeling to spend time together has to be mutual.  

As a rule as a consultant, I don’t socialize with clients outside of work unless I initiate it and then it is always off the clock. Since I consult for a company vs an individual, the dynamic isn’t the same as a provider and client. 
 

I agree with others here that socializing off the clock totally changes the provider/client dynamic for me. But in the end, it a choice for each party involved and for each situation. Respect the other parties’ decisions and don’t get butt hurt if they say no. 

[Mark_fl]

There are rent-a-friend websites where you can pay a fraction of what you would pay a sex worker if that's all you wanted.

If you wanted to pay a particular guy because you find him attractive and it might lead to more, I think you should be prepared close to their going rate.  

If you truly want platonic friendships, rent one from a non-erotic site.

I think after you have a relationship with a provider and you both enjoy each other's company, it's possible that the provider might enjoy a meal or event with you and have you just pick up the tab. Providers are people, just like clients. They aren't emotionless drones. They may be better able to avoid emotional attachment caused by sex, but their type of work gets to know you in a way that most of your friends even don't and that can be bonding in its own way.

Edited Monday at 03:45 PM by Mark_fl

[TMB]

Overall, I'm in agreement with @mike carey but I also see @purplekow's point.

As a client, my view is that the provider is the ultimate decision maker about what time he will provide, for what and at what cost and I have NO problem with that. I would not expect any time spent with them to be free for any reason. Even if a provider requested meeting up before a session or going for dinner after, I would expect to pay for his time as well. If the provider makes it clear it's off the clock, then great. But in this case, to be honest, I'd be a little worried about a catching feelings situation, one of the "blurred lines" I think people have referred to previously and I would want to clarify where he's at on this. If it's just friendship then that would be great!

I see @purplekow's point, though, that at certain rates, even if both would like to spend more time together, it's just not realistic for the client. But, again, my view is that it's on the provider to decide to offer a lower rate, etc. 

I think for me, I just feel uncomfortable haggling over the price of access to someone's time or body. I take at face value and respect whatever rate a provider offers.  If it's too much for me, I move on.

[+ Pensant]

In my lengthy experience, the occasional dinner or after-session drinks were, at the provider’s suggestion, off the clock. I must be a charming companion! Nonetheless, it’s entirely up to the provider. I also am unlikely to consider going to dinner with anyone with whom I’ve not developed a mutual non-physical attraction.

[Seamusss]

As with everything in this business, it’s all about supply and demand, so if a provider charges their normal rate for a companionship-only meeting and there are clients willing to pay, all the more power to him. I have a regular who I pay a half rate to for companionship-only meetups. The arrangement works well for us. It makes sense to me in the same way that  a non-sexual massage is usually charged at a lower rate than a sexual one. 

[aiseeya]

As a professional, my hourly rate is flat notwithstanding the occasion. So I will gladly adopt the same approach ie pay whatever rate the provider quoted. If the provider quoted different rate for sex/ non-sex activities, thats 100% his discretion. What I can decide is whether I have the necessary financial means to pay. If not, keep browsing.

On the topic of off-clock activities, thats entirely up to the provider, he is the decision maker. If not discussed upfront, best assume its 'on-clock'. 

One of my regular would pick/drop me from/to airport free of charge whenever I visit his city - he offered and made it clear that it would be 'off-clock'.