The ‘too busy to meet’ conundrum among seekers:

[JB_Studio38]

This isn’t about flaky clients or time-wasters. It’s a general assessment of what I observe across Rent sites as a whole. Clients will contact me and suggest meeting, but then when it comes down to them having the time to set aside: it becomes a problem.
 

Some basic insight about me: I’m a low volume provider, I do not live in the metro area of a major city. I’m not standing on a virtual street corner with a red light 🚨 on, waiting to be picked up. I have my time booked typically only 2 to 3 clients a week, more if I’m traveling and less when I’m home. It’s been that way for awhile. I used to enjoy and be able to accommodate high volume, last minute inquiries: but times have changed. Although I still do it every so often from the comfort of a hotel room, it’s not often that I can come across someone whose schedule matches up with each other short notice.

That said, it’s a bit grating when a seeker asks to meet: but then it’s limited by time restrictions because they are busy with work, family, alternative plans etc etc. It puts me in a position where I feel I have to rush, cancel personal plans, upend my schedule etc to meet. Then suddenly it’s not sexy anymore. 
 

This is especially the case this time of year. With the sun going down earlier, I prefer to spend my daylight hours getting things done. I also live 1-2 hours minimum from ANY sex work action so: seeing a client earlier means cutting out 2-4 hours of my day to accommodate. Sometimes I can do that, most times: guys wanting to meet coincide with other things I already had considered getting done. Things that are many times, may be related to accommodating the session. Sometimes a 6 p.m. has to be moved to 8 p.m.

Of course I always communicate with clients ahead of time and ensure whether or not they have any other plans in the vicinity of our time. However, when I’m actively in a city visiting, it’s usually only 10-20 minutes to get to a client. I can often get there sooner, but I’ve still found myself cancelling plans to accommodate. Say I get a 2 p.m., “are you available today” request. 9/10 they won’t be available after 5 p.m. It’s always, “oh I can’t do after that time, maybe next time”. Then I have to drop my plans or cancel on friends. Over the summer, I had a situation where a client wanted a same day booking on the same day a date of mine booked us a hotel. I hated turning down $400, but I agreed to meet the date first. The client was only in town for 1 day. 
 

In some cases I may have wanted to plan my schedule better, but other cases: I’m having even serious previous clients ask about a booking and then not being able to keep it because they already planned XXX and it leaves no time to meet.

Maybe I’m just a bit intolerant at times, but I hate when someone reaches out for plans and then changes up to say they’re too busy to meet. Or I give them a time, but then anything after 4 or 5 p.m. is “too late”. Or they magically have dinner plans that I was never informed of. 
 

I understand we’re a business but: we’re also individuals. Meeting clients isn’t necessarily a routine thing. A different city, different neighborhood, different schedule is not always easy to plan within a day or 2 notice. But I do appreciate the clients who are willing to allow flexibility in their time. I’m even considering getting rid of doing hourly sessions all together and only offering 1 and 2 day engagements, that way an hour or 2 buffer won’t necessarily mean the entire booking is lost. However I know many seekers aren’t able to extend that much time with a provider at first.

Edited November 15 by JB_Studio38

[SecretProvider]

20 minutes ago, JB_Studio38 said:

Then suddenly it’s not sexy anymore.

It's YOUR job to make it sexy, not for the clients to make it sexy for you.  Getting into the mind frame to make it sexy is what separates the men from the boys. 

 

21 minutes ago, JB_Studio38 said:

This is especially the case this time of year. With the sun going down earlier, I prefer to spend my daylight hours getting things done.

This is your choice. One of the joys for me about sex work is that I get to set my schedule. This has to be balanced with saying No to clients who want to see me at 2am.  You can set out 'open hours' like any other service does - we cannot be available 24hrs a day 7 days a week. We all need to make the choice at times - would we prefer see the client, or would we prefer 'getting things done'?  

But if you want to make money, and you want to be busy, you must be flexible and have an understanding that YOUR schedule needs flexibility to ensure you can get as many bookings as possible.  

23 minutes ago, JB_Studio38 said:

Maybe I’m just a bit intolerant at times

Welcome back to the forum - yes you are. But the way you have been writing in this new profile is a sign that you are doing better with these challenges.

It's true that there are a lot of guys out there that use Rentmen profiles to jerk off to and use us as 'interactive porn'. Some of the clients here on this site for eg, rate, reach out, comment about us, look up and critique our profiles when they have not hired for YEARS and have no intention in doing so. Lots of people will contact you with no intention to meet up and get off on just the thought of it. 

But there are also a lot of people who reach out with intention but also trepidation, and if your sales and marketing skills or bedside manner is not accommodating enough- you wont land the sale.  It's a tough balance to weigh up being open enough for these people and closed enough for the tire kickers who are jerking us around to not drain you. 

[jackcali]

From the client side, efforts to schedule time with a provider can be equally frustrating.  Like most people, I have a job, I have family and social obligations, I cannot host (unless I take a hotel room) and I have personal limitations on when I can meet up (e.g., I'm usually up by 5am, so an 11pm weeknight meeting just isn't going to work for me), so I have limited times when I can meet.  I have reached out to many providers, and actually prefer the ones like you who see a limited number of clients.  But because they also have lives, jobs and obligations outside of escorting, they have busy schedules that may not be compatible with mine.  That's not anyone's fault.  It's just how it is.  

And that's my experience in NYC, where there are many local and visiting providers.  For you, where travel is an issue, I'm sure these scheduling problems are multiplied.  My way to address this is to hire the same provider regularly once we've made good contact, but even then there are scheduling problems that we have to work through week after week.  

I'd suggest you ask in your ad to please give you some indication of when they're looking to hire in their first contact.  Many won't or will be very vague, but some will answer "tomorrow evening" or "next Tuesday".  At least then you have some idea of whether anything is possible.  Other than that, I can only wish you luck.

Edited November 15 by jackcali

[jeezifonly]

J - Try "Thanks for getting in touch. I'd like to meet you - can you specify 2 possible time slots you definitely have open? Day and time please. I can get back to you with more info if you give me solid options to consider. It's likely I can make one or the other work for us both!" 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

From my POV as a client, who has a busy life, I generally include the day and time I’m looking for - it’s generally a 3-4 hour window. If that doesn’t work, I have to move on. And we have 2-3 providers that we have great chemistry with so usually one is free. We also generally plan several days to a couple of weeks in advance. Some providers tell me to reach out the day before. I don’t do that unless it’s a regular. 

[marylander1940]

If there's a will there's a way...

Some people could be problematic and upset to the point of sounding childish if you don't happen to be free exactly when it's convenient for them

 

Edited November 18 by marylander1940

[aiseeya]

I am honestly lost.......what am I reading 😅

[+ purplekow]

Scheduling is difficult at times.  I recently hired an escort and was set for a Friday 5 PM appointment which is a time he selected.  The day before he requested we move the appointment to 7 PM.  Still fine.  The day of he asked that it be pushed to Sunday.  Sunday he called two hours before and asked for it to be pushed back several hours.  I accommodated each request.  The meeting was not one of the best but it was acceptable.  I am retired and have a fairly open schedule, but even for me, these changes seemed excessive.  Perhaps it was the gods of sexual satisfaction indicating to me that this was not a great match, but I did not listen.  

Things happen.  Providers and clients have lives that are unpredictable and subject to sudden changes.  I understand that the OP is frustrated but all jobs have plusses and minuses.  Best to focus on the plusses and deal with the minuses as graciously as you can muster.  

[JB_Studio38]

On 11/14/2025 at 10:09 PM, SecretProvider said:

One of the joys for me about sex work is that I get to set my schedule. 

But if you want to make money, and you want to be busy, you must be flexible and have an understanding that YOUR schedule needs flexibility to ensure you can get as many bookings as possible.  

 

So shortly after posting this: I ended up booking someone at midnight in another town that I took same day notice. He was great. I had to stay in the area overnight, but then the next day I picked up another client. Score 🏆 lol. Unfortunately neither were from RentMen but Adam4Adam and another hookup app. As I said in a different post, RentMen doesn’t get as much traction in the smaller towns. Which sucks considering it’s the most expensive of the platforms I’m on. Then I went on tour couple days later, so I often tunnel vision away from social networking when I’m on tour.

That said, I get what you’re saying. And I do that. Tbh so many people in my regular lifestyle think I’m busy or that I don’t have time. But truth is, I’m very often working on my client’s time. Even the last trip I took: was not planned necessarily on my time. I went as it coordinated with my client’s visit to the area also. I have a couple friends in the twin cities area, and I didn’t even inform them I was coming until the day of I was commuting to my client. Because if some shitty weather delayed the travel, I might have not gone at all; since this particular client also runs on a limited availability…Even though he’s perfectly free, he is only in a city a set few days at a time once a month.

Of course after meeting my main client, I can go back to my own schedule which is often open. But since this post, I haven’t had any issues with clients not being able to meet late. One of my meets, he was actually needing to meet at like 1 a.m., and booked a hotel for me when I got to town around 11, so I could get ready. That was a sweet gesture.
 

 

On 11/15/2025 at 8:56 AM, jackcali said:

I have reached out to many providers, and actually prefer the ones like you who see a limited number of clients.  But because they also have lives, jobs and obligations outside of escorting, they have busy schedules that may not be compatible with mine.  That's not anyone's fault.  It's just how it is.  

And that's my experience in NYC, where there are many local and visiting providers.  For you, where travel is an issue, I'm sure these scheduling problems are multiplied.  My way to address this is to hire the same provider regularly once we've made good contact, but even then there are scheduling problems that we have to work through week after week.  

 

That is true. And I do try to say that to myself at times. That it’s just the way it is. Like even in the case of the client in original post, I didn’t tell him all the details but: I couldn’t get to him sooner because I was waiting for a tire to arrive that got lost in a set shipped a couple weeks prior. It was scheduled to arrive the day he wanted to meet. But I also ASKED HIM the day before if he could meet, but it was “no it’s not a good day, but tomorrow I can”.
 

But I told him, “I asked earlier if there’s ANYTHING I need to know about how late you can or can’t meet” and I did tell him I had a tire appointment around 4. He just said no and to let him know. Well I did let him know, once I knew myself what time I would have everything finished. But then he says 9 is too late. Many clients are fine with 9 pm, but I guess he is one of the up at a 5 a.m. guys. Which wasn’t relayed to me until I was getting ready to walk out the door 🙈 

Fortunately the universe gave me 2 new clients because I was really relying on that session worth $400. But he couldn’t meet the next day because he had a wedding. Busy busy busy. But not my burden to carry.
 

On 11/18/2025 at 1:00 AM, marylander1940 said:

If there's a will there's a way...

Some people could be problematic and upset to the point of sounding childish if you don't happen to be free exactly when it's convenient for them

 

Yeah and those types I don’t even bother trying to accommodate. I spent many years earlier in the escort world, rushing to reach last minute clients. Nowadays, I would never. It’s not worth it, especially if they can’t give reasonable notice.

 

On 11/18/2025 at 3:06 PM, purplekow said:

Scheduling is difficult at times.  I recently hired an escort and was set for a Friday 5 PM appointment which is a time he selected.  The day before he requested we move the appointment to 7 PM.  Still fine.  The day of he asked that it be pushed to Sunday.  Sunday he called two hours before and asked for it to be pushed back several hours.  I accommodated each request.  The meeting was not one of the best but it was acceptable.  I am retired and have a fairly open schedule, but even for me, these changes seemed excessive.  Perhaps it was the gods of sexual satisfaction indicating to me that this was not a great match, but I did not listen.  

Things happen.  Providers and clients have lives that are unpredictable and subject to sudden changes.  I understand that the OP is frustrated but all jobs have plusses and minuses.  Best to focus on the plusses and deal with the minuses as graciously as you can muster.  

Well applaud 👏🏽 to you for having the patience and understanding. Many clients out there can’t or don’t want to be flexible. Some like the control factor of making an escort be there and square at a set time, not understanding that very often: meeting new clients isn’t a routine commute or schedule. If I have dinner plans at 6 and a client wants to meet by or before 7, that’s going to create a time discrepancy. Like I don’t want to go to a session hungry because it could be 3 hours minimum from commute, booking and going back. But I also don’t want to miss out on the session all together, or show up on a full stomach.

One thing I’m finding and I even told one of my favorite clients: there’s starting to be certain times and days that don’t seem to work. I’ve already discouraged 🚫 booking after noon and before 3 due to hotel check in/out times when I have to arrange in-calls. I’m also considering not booking after 5 before 7 p.m., because that tends to conflict with any dinner plans I may have, though when I’m traveling solo I can usually be flexible.

I’m also starting to reconsider Sundays for any travels. I used to like traveling on Sundays but now I’m finding I can’t get going until later in the day. Also the Midwest is just weird with the weather. It was crappy weather Saturday, so I couldn’t get anything done outside. Then Sunday was beautiful so I grilled and did stuff outside. I didn’t have any appointments, even though I was open to take some after 6 p.m. but the client I thought I had, flaked (per my recent post).

And now today Monday, very different weather than yesterday. I probably won’t be open to take any bookings for outcalls since it’s planning to be snowing.

Edited December 1 by JB_Studio38

[JB_Studio38]

On 11/17/2025 at 6:47 PM, jeezifonly said:

J - Try "Thanks for getting in touch. I'd like to meet you - can you specify 2 possible time slots you definitely have open? Day and time please. I can get back to you with more info if you give me solid options to consider. It's likely I can make one or the other work for us both!" 

 

You’d think it’s simple right? Issue is most seem to only be available 1 day, and on the same day of contact. I’ll also add to that, along with the question below:
 

On 11/18/2025 at 1:37 PM, aiseeya said:

I am honestly lost.......what am I reading 😅

I wanted to circle back to you, since you seem to think it’s something to laugh at. But it’s a real issue. I can’t count how many times I’ve had potential appointments fall thru, because it was a last minute or same day inquiry from someone contacting my ad. Then they had no time to allow something to happen.

Usually it’ll be something like, “Hi I seen your ad, are you available TODAY”. Usually they mean in a hour or 2. They didn’t really check with me ahead of time, and often by the time they’ve reached out: I’m not in a position to meet for intimacy with a new person, at necessarily when they may be looking for it.

And it’s not even always down to distance. I remember earlier this summer, I had a client contact me same day. He was going to be a few blocks from me in downtown. Problem is, 2 days ago I had already made plans with a very attractive guy younger than me. The client was already delayed by hours between his initial and 2nd reply back: And by that time, I was still committing with the plans I had.

The client finally replied and wanted to meet VERY CLOSE to the time I was scheduled to meet my date. I didn’t want to bail on my plans, because the date already arranged for a hotel for us as well (it was one of those, let’s get away to the city type of things). 

I tried to schedule the client for the next day but then it’s, “I can’t because me and my partner are driving our RV to Michigan first thing in the morning and etc etc. So I can only meet today.” Mind you…this was in a city I had advertised in days and weeks ahead before arriving. I ended up sticking to the plans with my date, and missing the appointment.
 

It seemed like a great decision, but then the 1st date was just a 1 night situation that didn’t turn into a 2nd date. And I turned down $400 over that shit. So I really kinda wish I had just seen the client instead. But that’s the dilemma with booking last minute, and having limited time to do so. I end up having to pick what I think is right, versus what I actually need. And money is what I really needed in that point in time, because I was already low on clients that trip. However the 2nd time that happened with someone else, I delayed plans with friends and took the client instead.

What makes it so complicated is: I often run my RentMen ads well ahead of going to a city, as I can’t just show up with nothing booked. I strive to get at least one or 2 in advance, but then I still end up getting mostly same day requests once I’m there. And depending on what I have going on, I may or may not be able to take them on short notice.
 

I know some people think things should operate akin to a hookup app or bath house where it’s instant availability: but what we’re doing is very different. Having a phone number up, often means being contacted when I may not be actively looking at the same time someone else is. Even though I can make myself available, I can’t only make it happen when the other person (client) is willing to make the time for it. But if they’re so busy and just trying to “catch me”, it’s not going to work as well.

Also it seems many clients travel, and travel A LOT. However, I know many people in my personal life who don’t travel at all. They’re usually more available. Although it’s nice to have the luxury to travel, it’s going to make it harder to schedule if nothing is planned in advance. I hate when someone hits me up, and then is like: “oh I can’t do tomorrow, I’m going out of town”.

I remember some years ago I said something similar at an auto shop in Orlando. I needed an alignment or something. The guy couldn’t book me until the next day, but I wanted to get going the next day. He says, “well if you go down the street: there’s 10 other auto places you can try. See if they’re available today” 😂 That kinda made me realize, if you’re trying to get something done, don’t expect it the same day from the first time you contact someone. And if do, don’t make the other person feel they’re at a loss because they can’t see you right away.

I just feel especially with escorts, guys don’t seem to care to give enough room to plan. 

Edited December 4 by JB_Studio38

[jeezifonly]

So, Jarrod -

Your availability paragraph on your profile takes too long to read, and contains conflicting generalities - this contributes to the number of guys contacting you when you're not available. 

Truth is, you're extremely appealing, and have chosen a line of work that can maximize return on assets if your location is consistent. But, for whatever reason, you're choosing to remain outside of large markets, you list available places that are rarely destinations for potential clients. We've been telling you for years that you need to make a choice:

A) Pick a high-density city as homebase for current services. Yes, bigger cities are more $$ but there's also way more flextime jobs to help pay rent til the local clients find you. 

B) Find other income source - perhaps another, more mainstream travel-friendly independent contractor use for your male fineness and people skills. 

Let 2026 be your year of positive change!

😘