Safe Only escorts?

[dcman]

So, some escorts advertising on RM indicate Safe Only but then when you contact them they are BB or Condom....One is left with no choice but  to assume everyone has and STI......which is unfair to those escorts who actually care about their health and the health of the client and the spread of STI and insist on condoms.  I know lots of my fellow RM clients prefer "Raw" "Bare" and that is their choice but would be great if there was a way that escorts could advertise that they are absolutely "100 %  condom required only."

Edited June 15 by dcman

[+ 7829V]

Unless you witness every encounter, you can never truly know someone’s practices, no matter what their profile says.

It is like buying a used car. The seller can promise it is accident-free, but you still take a risk if you rely only on their word.

Protecting yourself is your responsibility. Set your boundaries and take precautions based on what makes you feel safe. Even condoms are not 100 percent foolproof. They are like seatbelts. They greatly reduce risk but do not eliminate it completely.

It is wise to want clear ads, but wiser to trust your own judgment.

[56harrisond]

 

[marylander1940]

2 hours ago, dcman said:

So, some escorts advertising on RM indicate Safe Only but then when you contact them they are BB or Condom....One is left with no choice but  to assume everyone has and STI......which is unfair to those escorts who actually care about their health and the health of the client and the spread of STI and insist on condoms.  I know lots of my fellow RM clients prefer "Raw" "Bare" and that is their choice but would be great if there was a way that escorts could advertise that they are absolutely "100 %  condom required only."

First of all, it's impossible for you to know if someone who claims to be "safe only" barebacks with guys he meets on Grindr, his bf, etc. 

I remember assuming everyone was HIV + in order to protect myself from a disease impossible to be prevented and likely to be deadly... 

PrEP has been a game changer and now we could either do DoxyPep or get a shot/ do a cycle of pills. 

if you feel safer using condoms keep using them.

[TorontoDrew]

I met a provider recently who's profile says safe only. I also mentioned that we'd have to use condoms. We get to the act and he was going to go bare. I had to stop him and say condoms please.

That section of the profile is less accurate than others.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

One must assume that "Safe Only" means just that and if you want to engage in bareback sex, don't solicit that individual's services. 

However, when I reach out to that advertises as "Safe Only", I confirm the assumption of safe sex and state, "I assume you will be brining your own condoms for our playtime."  Then if there is any hesitation on his part, we have a further conversation.

[sky]

Honestly I doubt there is an escort that is 100% safe.  Even if they advertise 100% safe as others have said you can't be sure what they are doing during each appointment or what clients might do.  While no client should do it some clients have and will find a way to circumvent safe sex even if the escort requires it such as discretely removing the condom while topping the escort.  If you are concerned you should always take precautions.  Escorts are a commodity we should treat well and respect.  

[viewing ownly]

You can probably count on one hand the amount of escorts who genuinely use condoms for every encounter. "Getting tested regularly" is the 3-word phrase I'm seeing most often. It's peace of mind - only for THEM. 

 

[rvwnsd]

No sexual activity is 100% "safe," with or without a condom. Each individual needs to determine their own risk tolerance, regardless of what a guy's profile indicates, and use that risk tolerance as their guide. As for what "safe sex" means to an individual, the only way to find out for sure is to ask them. For example, there are individuals who consider having condom-free sex while taking one of the meds prescribed for PrEP as being safe. 

[MikeH10]

this thread is actually v helpful because i've been writing off any provider whose profile say 'safe only'... this opens up potential options 

Edited June 16 by MikeH10

[+ Jamie21]

I do a ‘safe only’ option. It’s a kind of work from home service. You stay at home and wank to my porn. It’s really safe. No one has ever caught anything from it 100% guaranteed. Contact me to book (24-7 service) details below. Service delivered via OnlyFans or JustforFans. Terms and conditions apply. Must be 18+. 

[LookingAround]

Any escort who is "100% safe only" will go broke. 

[Venite]

1 hour ago, LookingAround said:

Any escort who is "100% safe only" will go broke. 

 

 

9 hours ago, sky said:

Honestly I doubt there is an escort that is 100% safe.

On what bases do you make these conjectures/conclusions?

[mike carey]

4 minutes ago, Venite said:

On what bases do you make these conjectures/conclusions?

At the most basic level, it would be that no sex where there is physical contact can be 100% safe. @Jamie21 did offer one type of sex that is 100% safe, if you look back through the thread. 

[Venite]

9 minutes ago, mike carey said:

At the most basic level, it would be that no sex where there is physical contact can be 100% safe. @Jamie21 did offer one type of sex that is 100% safe, if you look back through the thread. 

I quoted the very first sentence that @sky wrote- not the entire paragraph. 
 

Here, they seem to assert that escorts who abide by a strict policy of only engaging in sex using condoms probably don’t exist.  I want to know what motivates this conclusion.

Perhaps you believe the first sentence @ Sky wrote was referring to STI risk when he wrote “100% safe”.  Sky is referring to the practice of always using a condom when he writes “100% safe”, and goes on to talk about what to do “Even if they advertise 100% safe”.

 

Edited June 16 by Venite

[Constantine]

I stopped asking the question a long time ago because essentially every gay man in his 20s barebacks regardless of what they say on a profile. 

[Venite]

8 minutes ago, Quincy_7 said:

I stopped asking the question a long time ago because essentially every gay man in his 20s barebacks regardless of what they say on a profile. 

Lol and this is why I ask: how would you come to this conclusion?

Its one thing to cautiously assume that the person you are having sex with might not always engage in sex using condoms.

It’s another thing to believe that there are no gay individuals in this world who strictly engage in sex using condoms. 

Edited June 16 by Venite

[Constantine]

1 minute ago, Venite said:

Lol and this is why I ask: how would you come to this conclusion?

Its one thing to cautiously assume that the person you are having sex with might not always engage in sex using condoms.

It’s another thing to assume that there are no gay individuals in this world who strictly engage in sex using condoms. 

Because I've had so many encounters with escorts who advertise as safe only and then when we meet in person they want to bb. The craziest instance was an escort who in person told me he only uses condoms and then after foreplay decided he wanted to fuck raw. I don't understand how you can do a complete 180 like that in 15 minutes.

From a safety standpoint, I have to assume that everyone barebacks and protect myself accordingly (which in my case is insisting on condom use).

[DznNYC]

1 hour ago, LookingAround said:

Any escort who is "100% safe only" will go broke. 

Just as a frame of reference here for this conversation:  I've had a grand total of one experience ever where a client has asked that a condom be involved, and that was last month.  With prep and doxy pep and regular testing, I've tested positive for an STI a grand total of zero times since I started escorting.  

The fact of the matter is that the tools for safety have evolved, enabling escorts to be more generous with our bodies than we used to be.  No, it's not risk free.  Yes, it's a calculated risk for all parties.  Yes, it's incumbent upon all of  us active escorts and clients  to educate and protect our own selves.  The best escorts - when asked - will put on a condom.  The best escorts - when asked - will have a frank conversation about safety if bare sex is your preference.  

All that said, if you're engaging in sex with escorts - or anyone really - you have choices to make as to how to protect yourself.   It could be prep and doxy pep.  It could be condoms.  It could be abstaining altogether.  Or - as suggested above - it could be staying home and jerking off to Only Fans.  

[Venite]

3 minutes ago, Quincy_7 said:

Because I've had so many encounters with escorts who advertise as safe only and then when we meet in person they want to bb. The craziest instance was an escort who in person told me he only uses condoms and then after foreplay decided he wanted to fuck raw. I don't understand how you can do a complete 180 like that in 15 minutes.

From a safety standpoint, I have to assume that everyone barebacks and protect myself accordingly (which in my case is insisting on condom use).

You indeed may have had encounters with people who advertise as engaging in safe sex strictly and who begin to attempt bareback.

This does not mean that people who engage strictly in condom-using sex do not exist in the world lol. They do. 
 

I think it’s good practice on your part to *assume* that the person you are hiring occasionally barebacks. 

Edited June 16 by Venite

[BrickBuilder]

I have read this thread a couple of times and it seems to be "provider centric", focusing on the offering or habits of the provider.  The habits or desires of the clients are at least 50% of the issue.  I for one can say I enjoy and appreciate an insatiable cum-loving bottom whore (that is very much meant as a tip of the hat to them and not as any type of dig).  Medical advances have made it possible for me to be able to say that and indulge in it and for the providers to offer it.

I don't know this for certain but I would postulate that most providers are as fastidious or more so about their health regime than many clients.  Prescriptions, testing, etc.  I do it ever 2-3 months.  Many of the providers I hire regularly are at least that frequent if not more.

Providers are giving us what we want....and both sides need to take the precautions appropriate to their needs and level of comfort.  

And as a last note....don't shame anyone..provider or client..for what they will or won't do during an encounter (on or off the books).

[+ Jamie21]

28 minutes ago, AtlTopGuy said:

I don't know this for certain but I would postulate that most providers are as fastidious or more so about their health regime than many clients. 

I agree! I test every 2 months, more frequently if concerned and take prep daily. I encounter some clients who are happy to bareback (fine by me) but who seem unaware of the risks, unaware of Prep, and who don’t routinely test. That’s crazy on their part. 

A recent client wanted to top me bare, all was agreed and fine. I asked him if he was on prep. He said ‘no’. I had to explain it to him. He was fine to go ahead because I told him I was negative on prep but I had to encourage him to go and get informed for his sake. 
 

[DznNYC]

1 hour ago, AtlTopGuy said:

I for one can say I enjoy and appreciate an insatiable cum-loving bottom whore (that is very much meant as a tip of the hat to them and not as any type of dig).

Thank you for saying that!!

I will happily line up to receive this particular tip of the hat.  And I’ll happily accept that label, among others, as being central to my sexuality.  

There are many avowed breeding enthusiasts out there, and we’re extremely lucky to live at a time when we can enjoy that with reasonable comfort and safety.  Many of us who came up in the 80’s or 90’s have fastidiously avoided that kind of thing for years on end and still feel the power of that taboo.  

But if you do your homework and invest time and effort in the necessary precautions, it can be an act that brings two men closer than any other.  And it can be a truly meaningful thing to provide, in either direction.  

And if you’re squeamish about hearing that from a provider, then condoms are still a very sensible option.  Still available at a pharmacy near you. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

On 6/15/2025 at 6:58 PM, dcman said:

escorts who actually care about their health and the health of the client and the spread of STI.... insist on condoms.

You act like this is an absolute truth in this situation.

An escort can definitely care about their health and still bareback with relative safety.

A word from the devil's advocate:  Just because someone is not comfortable with understanding what medical science can currently do, doesn't mean those who do should be castigated.

Edited June 17 by BenjaminNicholas

[soloyo215]

On 6/15/2025 at 7:58 PM, dcman said:

...would be great if there was a way that escorts could advertise that they are absolutely "100 %  condom required only."

There is a way. It's called a profile.