Provider Wants a Longer Session; I don't

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I'm curious what other clients and providers think of this situation. 

We're looking to hire this weekend, and none of our regulars are available. I've been chatting with a couple of guys, including one who is visiting this weekend. He's a bit younger than we usually go for (late 20s), but seems very experienced and mature. We live in Brooklyn, about 25-30 minutes outside of Manhattan. He doesn't seem to be able to host. 

So we initially discussed a two-hour visit at $400/hour. That seems reasonable, especially if he's traveling to us. He then responded that, given the distance, he wants three hours.

I have two issues here. First, I don't want three hours. That's too long, especially for someone we've never met. Second, I don't like a hard sell. To me, spending 30 minutes traveling to and from an appointment where you make $800 is a pretty sweet deal. So the insistence on a third hour just feels greedy. 

Thoughts? 

[jmichaeliii]

I have been on the other side of this trying to convince a provider to do a multi hour session.  He must do well enough that he is comfortable calling those shots and maybe he feels the travel may cost him a chance at another client.

The bottom line is that it is his business to run as he chooses and if he was professional about things, you just need to move on or go with the extra hour.  I find some providers can be fickle with travel even if they have no other option.

[Gilfson]

That does seem greedy. I live in LA and will travel to clients sometimes that are up to 2 hours away. When a client is far all i ask is for 50 dollars for travel expenses. 50 fills up my car and a lot of the times the guys only want an hour. I wouldn't make that drive unless they fill up my car as well. But wanting an entire extra hour when you are already paying them an above average rate is definitely greedy.

[viewing ownly]

Find somebody different who is willing to see you for two hours. I understand where he's coming from to a point, but at this stage, it's not going to go well for you with him if you bend to his demand, or if he decides after all that he'll tough out a 2-hour session - with an attitude, based on his age. Whenever I've had a provider want to alter what I've already arranged and I follow through anyway, it ALWAYS goes poorly. Fortunately, it's infrequent.

[Luv2play]

When.a provider has an above market rate ( altho $400 is not uncommon in Manhattan) I usually ask for a small reduction in the second (and third hours if applicable). So $700 for 2 hours and $900 for three. 

In this case I don’t consider 30 minutes travel time as unusual at all. In large Canadian cities like Toronto and Montreal that is the norm. And in all these cities there is a subway option if Uber doesn’t work.
So I would agree this provider is setting a very unreasonable condition of a third hour at $400. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

5 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

Find somebody different who is willing to see you for two hours. I understand where he's coming from to a point, but at this stage, it's not going to go well for you with him if you bend to his demand, or if he decides after all that he'll tough out a 2-hour session - with an attitude, based on his age. Whenever I've had a provider want to alter what I've already arranged and I follow through anyway, it ALWAYS goes poorly. Fortunately, it's infrequent.

I want to be clear, this was all in the initial conversation. We didn't set a two-hour session, and then he came back with three after we'd confirmed. 

[+ FLOutdoors]

I am having a similar issue with a provider who a) quoted me $400 an hour  for a two hour session and b) told me it would need to be $450 an hour if I insisted on the hotel that was convenient to me here in South Florida, and around a 40 minute drive for him. I told him I’d likely pass.

Edited May 15 by FLOutdoors

[+ JamesB]

I'm not going to speculate on why he's asking for 3 hours when you requested 2, that's his choice. What I will say is this: a 30 minute commute for an outcall is completely reasonable. Typically, multi-hour appointments come with a discounted hourly rate, which he's not offering. My advice? Look for someone else.

[BrooklynIrish]

I think we probably will pass. Because if I haggle he’ll be unhappy and that will ruin the appointment 

[+ ApexNomad]

4 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I'm curious what other clients and providers think of this situation. 

We're looking to hire this weekend, and none of our regulars are available. I've been chatting with a couple of guys, including one who is visiting this weekend. He's a bit younger than we usually go for (late 20s), but seems very experienced and mature. We live in Brooklyn, about 25-30 minutes outside of Manhattan. He doesn't seem to be able to host. 

So we initially discussed a two-hour visit at $400/hour. That seems reasonable, especially if he's traveling to us. He then responded that, given the distance, he wants three hours.

I have two issues here. First, I don't want three hours. That's too long, especially for someone we've never met. Second, I don't like a hard sell. To me, spending 30 minutes traveling to and from an appointment where you make $800 is a pretty sweet deal. So the insistence on a third hour just feels greedy. 

Thoughts? 

You could simply say that since this is your first meeting, you’d prefer to keep it to two hours and see how he responds. That initial meeting with a new provider is important — you want to feel comfortable, and he wants to feel valued and respected. In my opinion, the worst thing you can do is get into a negotiation or back-and-forth. The longer that goes on, the greater the chances of the encounter feeling strained.

[cany10011]

For me the longer the drawn out conversations and negotiations prior to a meet up with an unknown provider is inversely proportional to the experience.  I had this experience in Paris recently - nice hot russian bottom online but he kept on changing the parameters of the meet (i.e., no longer overnight but only 5 hours, no bottoming but he was OK upfront, the fee involved, as well as the date of the meet). He seemed nice online so i decided to go through with the meet against my judgement and was counting the minutes for him to leave. 

 

Edited May 15 by cany10011

[Gilfson]

27 minutes ago, BrooklynIrish said:

I think we probably will pass. Because if I haggle he’ll be unhappy and that will ruin the appointment 

Please don’t haggle either you’re comfortable with what he wants or he’s not for you. As a provider when I tell people my rate (300/hr) and they counter with 150. It drives me crazy and I probably will not meet with a client after they do this.

[marylander1940]

5 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I'm curious what other clients and providers think of this situation. 

We're looking to hire this weekend, and none of our regulars are available. I've been chatting with a couple of guys, including one who is visiting this weekend. He's a bit younger than we usually go for (late 20s), but seems very experienced and mature. We live in Brooklyn, about 25-30 minutes outside of Manhattan. He doesn't seem to be able to host. 

So we initially discussed a two-hour visit at $400/hour. That seems reasonable, especially if he's traveling to us. He then responded that, given the distance, he wants three hours.

I have two issues here. First, I don't want three hours. That's too long, especially for someone we've never met. Second, I don't like a hard sell. To me, spending 30 minutes traveling to and from an appointment where you make $800 is a pretty sweet deal. So the insistence on a third hour just feels greedy. 

Thoughts? 

Your money your choice, he'll be making $800 in 2 hours and that's good enough for most escorts! 

 

Edited May 15 by marylander1940
Misspelling

[+ KensingtonHomo]

25 minutes ago, Gilfson said:

Please don’t haggle either you’re comfortable with what he wants or he’s not for you. As a provider when I tell people my rate (300/hr) and they counter with 150. It drives me crazy and I probably will not meet with a client after they do this.

I don't even haggle over price. I do consulting and my rates are not negotiable.

The issue is that we want two hours, and the escort wants three, ostensibly because the distance he has to travel. 

[cany10011]

3 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I don't even haggle over price. I do consulting and my rates are not negotiable.

The issue is that we want two hours, and the escort wants three, ostensibly because the distance he has to travel. 

Or you can do the 3 and ask him to leave after 2 hours. Or, maybe have him strip the bed and do a load of laundry before he leaves. 

[Gilfson]

12 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I don't even haggle over price. I do consulting and my rates are not negotiable.

The issue is that we want two hours, and the escort wants three, ostensibly because the distance he has to travel. 

i totally understand your issue i was referencing what someone else said!

[+ Jamie21]

What he’s saying is the minimum rate is $1200 and for that he’ll stay 3 hours max. If you want to chuck him out after 2 hours that’s your call! 

I think half hour travel for an out call is fine. It’s not long. I’ve travelled up to an hour for out calls (even those booked for just an hour), although at a premium rate.

Don’t bother trying to negotiate. It always sets things off badly. If clients try to negotiate my rate I’ll not go ahead with accepting the booking. 
 

 

[Whippoorwill]

I was a professional consultant for many years, in a different industry. I charged:

X $/hr in my office 

X $/hr PLUS travel time to an outside location calculated on the time spent traveling x 50% regular hourly cost

OR

X $/hr PLUS a travel fee that I set based on $$/mile. 

Either of those formulae eliminate the need to differentiate based on number of hours spent working. They were intended to result in the same cost; some people preferred the $$/mile which is most standard; others, the 50% charge. 

It's a simple business proposition. If I were spending time on behalf of a client (either working or traveling) it had to be compensated. Why would I travel to an outside location and not get paid for that time when I could be in the office working with someone else and getting paid? The fees were published in advance.  

Hiring a male provider is a different business and arrangements are perhaps a little looser, but the same principle applies. 

 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

31 minutes ago, Whippoorwill said:

It's a simple business proposition. If I were spending time on behalf of a client (either working or traveling) it had to be compensated. Why would I travel to an outside location and not get paid for that time when I could be in the office working with someone else and getting paid? The fees were published in advance.  

Hiring a male provider is a different business and arrangements are perhaps a little looser, but the same principle applies.

If you were working in NYC, did you charge for the 20 minute train ride? When I consult, I expect the time I spend traveling between cities to be covered, but I wouldn't charge to get from my hotel to their offices. 

Also, this provider cannot host, which I presume means he's staying with a friend, not renting a hotel. We could have come to him for an hour or two.

[Nightowl]

I guess I’ve been lucky.  My favorite provider has taken extra time with me when we’ve both been enjoying ourselves and we’ve sometimes lain naked, chatting in each other’s arms after the paid session was over.  It was incall, so that makes a difference, and it wasn’t in NYC….

[Whippoorwill]

Not NYC but SF with a compact business district, where everything is a quick walk or at most ten minute taxi (or today Uber) ride away. That's no different than the time you'd take between appointments anyway. I should have been clearer...I was thinking of an hour-plus drive to Silicon Valley. 

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

You just say no, thanks and move on.

You can dissect this a million ways, which the minutiae will likely be well-worn on this thread, but ultimately it's a pretty simple solution.

He doesn't give you what you seek.  You look elsewhere.

You deserve to get what you want.

 

Edited May 16 by BenjaminNicholas