Why not masturbate?

[Guest]

I remember when growing up that it was seen as extremely embarrassing if it was discovered that you masturbate.

I hear young people continuing this trend today. They say things like, "your only GF/BF is your left hand!"

I've heard other adults in my life complain that they caught their spouse masturbating to porn, and they made a big deal about how it's a "pathetic" and "sad."

 

I've never seen it that way. I've always enjoyed a good stroke session. I'm married, and my spouse knows that I'm masturbate, and I know that he does as well.

My question is... WHY do you think people have such a strong reaction against it? Why does it get a bad rep?

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

It's because people, especially Americans, are ashamed/uncomfortable of anything sexual.  It's ingrained from a young age.

Jerking off is healthy.  It's normal.  It's safe.  It's fun.

Anyone in my friend group who would make a comment against it wouldn't be in my friend group for long.

 

[Guest]

1 minute ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

It's because people, especially Americans, are ashamed/uncomfortable of anything sexual.  It's ingrained from a young age.

Jerking off is healthy.  It's normal.  It's safe.  It's fun.

Anyone in my friend group who would make a comment against it wouldn't be in my friend group for long.

 

Exactly! I have a suspicion that this shame has religious origins, but I think it's against the rules of this forum to get into religious chats.

I just know from my own experience growing up in that kind of environment that anything outside of man+woman(monogamous and having waited for marriage)=acceptable sexual expression. I've even known some people in my religious upbringing past, who said that Missionary was the only acceptable position! (Woman on top = shows dominance, which ain't allowed. Man in charge of the sexing haha. Doggy-style is too similar to "gay guy positions," so that's not allowed by them 😳😂 only in missionary can the man be in charge and the woman can be the subservient recipient of impregnating.) it's really stupid shit!!!

I even see guys sometimes going out of their way in locker rooms to make sure they're always covered, pulling their undies up under the towel. I just think, "come on, guys, how are we THIS ashamed of our anatomy?"

Masturbation is great! I've given myself some of my best orgasms 😂

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, JD-Angel said:

I even see guys sometimes going out of their way in locker rooms to make sure they're always covered, pulling their undies up under the towel.

"SHAME" is a constant in American culture. Perhaps it's origin is religious ( as stated we can't go there ) but whatever the origin, the results still linger.

I grew up in a religious conservative community..yet all the boys walked around naked in the locker room, no towels in front of them, group shower/ no dividers. In wrestling class we'd weigh ourselves cock-out naked to get an exact weight. Sex itself was discreetly discussed but nudity wasn't considered shameful.

NOW, in NYC which used to be like Sodom and Gamorrah, I watch these young guys go through gymnastics trying to pull their underwear while still wrapped in a towel. SO much MORE discreet than how I grew up !

So yeah...it's no surprise they would also be embarrassed about rubbing one out.

Edited January 21 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[ShortCutie7]

I find that some of my family members and friends of the boomer generation have an almost puritanical view on anything sex-related that has nothing to do with religion.  I’m not sure if it’s generational, but this is the trend I have noticed… those older and younger don’t have the same hangups.  When I (millennial in NYC) was in HS and my peers were talking about masturbating, I honestly didn’t know what it was since my (boomer) parents never discussed these things.  I was so innocent and so late of a bloomer that when my peers mentioned blowjobs, I thought they meant literally blowing [air] on a dick.

[Guest]

I had similar experiences, not knowing what any terms meant. The ONLY time my parents even said the word "'masturbation" was when I was 17 or 18, driving with dad to pick mom up from the airport, and he wanted to emphasize to me that purity is righteous, and masturbation is wrong.

oof.

well, jokes on them because I engage in masturbation plenty. Always have. It's awesome.

[jeezifonly]

More of it would solve a lot of social issues.

Rules: No kids around, and Don’t frighten the horses. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Idiotic shame around a natural healthy process. Some things never change.

I read this when I was younger and always quote it:

"99 out of 100 teenage boys masturbate. The 100th is lying."

[Guest]

54 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said:

I was so innocent and so late of a bloomer that when my peers mentioned blowjobs, I thought they meant literally blowing [air] on a dick.

You’re not alone. I’m in the similar generation and I thought if you sucked a dick, you SUCKED that dick. It was three or four guys before I realized the goal wasn’t to give a dick a hickey. 

Some of the most homophobic men I know are gay because their shame colors how they see other gay men, particularly the self confident promiscuous guys. 

[ShortCutie7]

6 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

Idiotic shame around a natural healthy process. Some things never change.

I read this when I was younger and always quote it:

"99 out of 100 teenage boys masturbate. The 100th is lying."

I actually didn’t masturbate until I was 18 and in college.  I was a very late bloomer and genuinely didn’t know what masturbation was and didn’t have the natural urge to rub my own dick. I did, however, cum in my pants hands-free whenever I would think of a hot guy.

[Guest]

I'm glad I started this thread. No I don't feel so alone in my weird, Puritanical upbringing that didn't equip me at all for sexual experiences

[Guest]

Just now, ShortCutie7 said:

I actually didn’t masturbate until I was 18 and in college.  I was a very late bloomer and genuinely didn’t know what masturbation was and didn’t have the natural urge to rub my own dick. I did, however, cum in my pants hands-free whenever I would think of a hot guy.

Cum as in a full orgasm?

That's great either way.

I started masturbating probably around 13. I didn't have my first sexual experience with a guy until 27, though. I was very much in the closet.

But I used to watch gay porn when I stroked, so when I finally got sexually active, I had a huge list of things I wanted to try 😂

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Coolwave35 said:

You’re not alone. I’m in the similar generation and I thought if you sucked a dick, you SUCKED that dick. It was three or four guys before I realized the goal wasn’t to give a dick a hickey. 

Some of the most homophobic men I know are gay because their shame colors how they see other gay men, particularly the self confident promiscuous guys. 

Funny enough, a couple years ago I had an encounter with a guy who I think still thought that way… true sucking, like a vacuum. One of the most unpleasant experiences that should have been HOT!

[ShortCutie7]

13 minutes ago, JD-Angel said:

Cum as in a full orgasm?

That's great either way.

I started masturbating probably around 13. I didn't have my first sexual experience with a guy until 27, though. I was very much in the closet.

But I used to watch gay porn when I stroked, so when I finally got sexually active, I had a huge list of things I wanted to try 😂

No full orgasms (I actually don’t know that I’ve ever had a true, full-body orgasm), a little cum just came out on its own.

[Guest]

Just now, ShortCutie7 said:

No full orgasms (I actually don’t know that I’ve ever had a true, full-body orgasm), a little cum just came out on its own.

Still, that's really sexy.
 

kind of unrelated, but something I used to do is masturbate with a dildo in my butt, and right when I feel like I'm "on the edge," I stop stroking and start plowing my ass with the dildo. It makes me ejaculate with no orgasm. Then I scoop up my semen from my chest and eat it. Then I do it over again. Sometimes, I can get three loads to come out before I officially orgasm.

[MikeBiDude]

1 hour ago, Coolwave35 said:

thought if you sucked a dick, you SUCKED that dick

Similar…a friend I had played and jerked off with wanted to give me a blow job. He put my cock in his mouth and he blew on it! When it was my turn somehow (and it was the first cock in my mouth) some natural instinct kicked in and he loved it 🤣

[Guest]

[CuriousByNature]

I could never engage in Onanism, lest I grow hair on the palms of my hands.

But seriously, I've heard that the 'sin' of Onanism (self-pleasuring to climax) is a much later misinterpretation of a Biblical passage where the character Onan spills his seed on the ground, rather than fulfilling the levirate obligation of consummating a required marriage to his late older brother's widow.  In the story, God apparently strikes him dead.  Not for masturbating, but for not fulfilling the obligation he had as the surviving younger brother.

I hope this post is not taken as a 'religious' post - that is not my intention at all.  It's meant to be a historical explanation about why western society has traditionally been uncomfortable with self-pleasure.

And it also probably explains why nobody ever names their son Onan. 

 

[Guest]

6 hours ago, CuriousByNature said:

I could never engage in Onanism, lest I grow hair on the palms of my hands.

But seriously, I've heard that the 'sin' of Onanism (self-pleasuring to climax) is a much later misinterpretation of a Biblical passage where the character Onan spills his seed on the ground, rather than fulfilling the levirate obligation of consummating a required marriage to his late older brother's widow.  In the story, God apparently strikes him dead.  Not for masturbating, but for not fulfilling the obligation he had as the surviving younger brother.

I hope this post is not taken as a 'religious' post - that is not my intention at all.  It's meant to be a historical explanation about why western society has traditionally been uncomfortable with self-pleasure.

And it also probably explains why nobody ever names their son Onan. 

 

I've known about this for a while too!

I was brought up in a very religious household, so when I "came out" and received all the rebukes of "living in Sin" and "choosing to turn my back on God, for which He will turn his back on me" (my family can be very dramatic...), I decided to research in depth the topic of sexuality in the Bible. I picked up books, watched lectures, talked to actual priests/pastors. I did my homework. And I discovered that pretty much everything that many of these Evangelicals preach about the evils of homosexuality... are either mistranslations, misinterpretations, or outright manufactured by the church much later. And Onan is a prime example. He spilled his seed, which we might now say he "pulled out" and did not impregnate, so he was struck dead. But somewhere, as you said, "spilled his seed" came to mean that he brought himself to ejaculation. Aka masturbation became a sin from that day 😂😭

so, as I've said a lot on this thread, I sin quite a lot in the comfort of my home 🤤🥵💦

[Guest]

Just curious for the blokes on this thread: how many times did you masturbate today? (Or yesterday if you're seeing this first thing in the morning.)

 

I managed 5.

 

and I'm married--but as my spouse and I joke, if we had sex every time I was "in the mood," then we'd never leave the bedroom 😂 so, masturbation necessary.

[+ Pensant]

15 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

I read this when I was younger and always quote it:

"99 out of 100 teenage boys masturbate. The 100th is lying."

This reminds me of my “health” class teacher in high school, who was also my tennis coach. Very funny guy. He said that 99% of younger men masturbate, and thank God all of us were part of the 1% who didn’t!

[+ Pensant]

Young guys today are so funny about nudity. 90% of the guys I play with close the door when they urinate. 

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, Pensant said:

Young guys today are so funny about nudity. 90% of the guys I play with close the door when they urinate. 

Exactly!

I see it all the time--whenever I have been in a locker room, I never cover up. I put my stuff in the locker, take my towel, walk naked to the shower, wash myself, dry off, walk back to my locker, and get dressed. I have a dad bod and an average penis size, so it's not like I'm trying to show off. I just do not understand the compulsion to cover up so neurotically when I'm in a place like a dang locker room.

HELL, sometimes I see people showering with their underwear on these days! Even if they were in a "shower stall" with a curtain or a door. they go in with their undies on. They come out with their undies on… And wet. Then they put a towel over it, walk to the changing area, slip their wet undies off underneath the towel lest any part of them be exposed, and slip new undies on under the towel.

[+ ApexNomad]

24 minutes ago, Pensant said:

Young guys today are so funny about nudity. 90% of the guys I play with close the door when they urinate. 

Social media and the proliferation of porn. They have magnified the obsession with penis size to the extreme. The younger generation has grown up with constant comparisons online, and it’s made them more self-conscious than ever. It’s not just about privacy—I’d argue it’s rooted in insecurity. Back in the day, we didn’t face this kind of pressure.

[pubic_assistance]

59 minutes ago, Pensant said:

Young guys today are so funny about nudity. 90% of the guys I play with close the door when they urinate. 

Nudity and bodily functions are different issues. I have ZERO issue about nudity, but in contrast I would NEVER shit or piss in front of another person, including my wife of 18 years.