Health status verification

[Guest Casual]

If it’s blank, do you make assumptions? 
 

why do some providers leave it blank?

[viewing ownly]

If you play safe, their health status should matter quite minimally. I do appreciate those that are taking ART who are HIV positive. They understand that this is hopefully going to increase their opportunities with other HIV positive clients, but turn away a great many uneducated potential HIV negative clients. It's best to play safe no matter what status is listed or not listed, but this is not in the interest of most sexual partners today. 

[+ 7829V]

I always assume they are positive. It’s MY responsibility to take precautions and protect myself. 

8 minutes ago, Casual said:

If it’s blank, do you make assumptions? 
 

why do some providers leave it blank?

 

[+ JamesB]

I firmly believe that I am solely responsible for my own health. When it comes to a masseur who only lists their status as negative, I assume their willingness to go beyond a regular massage is very low or nonexistent. However, I recently had an experience with a masseur who listed as just negative but had a Prep bottle out in the open in the bathroom. It goes to show you never really know what's on someone else's mind.

[Guest Casual]

Is it taboo to ask status? 

[Johnrom]

Never taboo to protect your own health. But you are relying on this individual being honest with you. 

[+ JamesB]

4 minutes ago, Casual said:

Is it taboo to ask status? 

I don't think the issue is whether it's okay to ask or not. The real question is whether you would truly trust the answer of a complete stranger. If the answer is no, then why ask the question in the first place?

[BuffaloKyle]

If you're just getting a massage then why does it matter? So if it goes into more than a massage?

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

31 minutes ago, BuffaloKyle said:

If you're just getting a massage then why does it matter? So if it goes into more than a massage?

Agree.  I wouldn't turn down a massage from a massuer with HIV any more than I would reject food from a waiter with HIV.  Their status is irreverent.

57 minutes ago, Casual said:

Is it taboo to ask status? 

Do you ask your waiter if they have HIV before they serve you?  If it's just a massage, don't ask.

5 hours ago, Casual said:

why do some providers leave it blank?

Privacy. Discrimination. Many people (myself included) refuse to list their health status or vaccination status in advertisements or social media applications.  It's none of your business what medications I'm on, what vaccines I've had, what I'm allergic to, or what I'm being treated for. 

 

1 hour ago, JamesB said:

I firmly believe that I am solely responsible for my own health. When it comes to a masseur who only lists their status as negative, I assume their willingness to go beyond a regular massage is very low or nonexistent. However, I recently had an experience with a masseur who listed as just negative but had a Prep bottle out in the open in the bathroom. It goes to show you never really know what's on someone else's mind.

Agree 💯 . If you're seeing someone for sex... Or worried you might catch chicken pox, measles, mumps, polio, COVID, etc.,... Then assume the other person is always positive and take precautions:  Wear protection and/or take meds, and vaccinate yourself against chicken pox, measles, mumps, polio, COVID, etc.

5 hours ago, Casual said:

If it’s blank, do you make assumptions? 

Whether it's blank or not, always assume the person is lying and protect yourself as you would with a positive person.

[+ sniper]

If it's blank I take that as a sign that erotic might not be an option. Similarly I would take "Negative, on PreP' as an indication that, um, full-service probably IS an option. 

[DCLogan]

I knew there would be lots of responses saying you should assume everyone is positive, play safe, etc. And I get that, but I’d love to know the websites’ policies about what advertisers can say. Do they ask for documentation?  Updates?  Or do they just take the advertiser’s word??

[Johnrom]

Caveat emptor ! They can’t be the health/ integrity police. 👮‍♂️ 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

21 minutes ago, DCLogan said:

I knew there would be lots of responses saying you should assume everyone is positive, play safe, etc. And I get that, but I’d love to know the websites’ policies about what advertisers can say. Do they ask for documentation?  Updates?  Or do they just take the advertiser’s word??

They’re certainly not checking. Any STI test is only valid till the next time you have unprotected sex. So if a guy uploaded a negative HIV today and then had sex with four guys over the weekend, what good is that test? 

[Nick2025]

How does one verify a masseur's health status? He can state whatever he wants, no? Any suggestions?

[+ 7829V]

15 minutes ago, Nick2025 said:

How does one verify a masseur's health status? He can state whatever he wants, no? Any suggestions?

Good question! Honestly, it’s safest to assume everyone could be HIV positive—people can say whatever they want, after all. Think of it like mystery food at a potluck: you don’t know what’s in it, so you prepare for anything. Use universal precautions, like avoiding direct contact with bodily fluids, and keep tools like condoms, PrEP, and even doxy-PEP in your arsenal. They’re all great ways to protect yourself and stay ahead of the game. Better to be cautious than roll the dice, right?

[Nick2025]

I know one guy who stated a lie about his health. I called him out. He blocked me and changed his profile details.

[+ 7829V]

2 minutes ago, Nick2025 said:

I know one guy who stated a lie about his health. I called him out. He blocked me and changed his profile details.

Sounds frustrating, but honestly, it’s a good reminder that your health is like your Wi-Fi password—your responsibility to protect, not someone else’s. People can lie, dodge questions, or ghost you like a bad Tinder match, but tools like condoms, PrEP, and regular testing make sure you’re always in control. No need to rely on their ‘honesty’ (or creative writing skills)! 

[Your Man in Arlington]

You can really only verify your own health status and take reasonable measures within your own risk tolerance protect it; as stated above: PREP, prophylactics, DoxyPEP.

Edited December 30, 2024 by Your Man in Arlington

[Simon Suraci]

You are the only one responsible for your own health. Measure your own risk tolerance and take steps to protect yourself accordingly. If you can’t tolerate any risk at all, abstain altogether - from hiring and from personal hookups.

Some crazies contact me asking about status, health records, test results, photos of my prescriptions, etc. There is no pleasing these guys. They want to outsource responsibility for their own sexual health to providers. Then berate me when I don’t share sensitive info saying I am lying and blah blah blah. I am not lying but in the past when I go out of my way to give them everything they demand they still won’t hire, so I don’t see the point of going through the motions. So I just decline. It’s like no “proof” is good enough. I offer to take a rapid test in person if they provide it. Then they go away. These types get really upset and badmouth providers.

Clients, please don’t be one of these guys.

Take responsibility for yourself.

[mike carey]

This didn't start as a question about an individual masseur, and as it's progressed it's become a general discussion about personal responsibility for sexual health, so we're moving it to the Men's Health forum.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

2 hours ago, Nick2025 said:

How does one verify a masseur's health status? He can state whatever he wants, no? Any suggestions?

Why are you worried about something that means absolutely zero less than a day after getting tested?

You protect you.  Use PrEP, doxy, condoms or whatever you deem best, but you're an adult.  Your sexual health is on you.

[marylander1940]

On 7/18/2024 at 10:55 AM, Guest Casual said:

If it’s blank, do you make assumptions? 
 

why do some providers leave it blank?

ask, and take PrEP yourself, doxyPEP afterwards if you're concerned, testing?

 

[Thelatin]

On 7/18/2024 at 3:03 PM, Vegas_Millennial said:

Privacy. Discrimination. Many people (myself included) refuse to list their health status or vaccination status in advertisements or social media applications.  It's none of your business what medications I'm on, what vaccines I've had, what I'm allergic to, or what I'm being treated for. 

 

I 100% disagree.  Anyone engaging in activities should always be honest with the other person.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

18 minutes ago, Thelatin said:

I 100% disagree.  Anyone engaging in activities should always be honest with the other person.

But I'm not going to disclose it via the Internet or social media.  I will do it in person.  Then we can discuss the status of my chicken pox vaccine or flu shot or arthritis medication or polio or coronavirus vaccine , etc., and you can choose to believe me or not.

Interestingly, if a women tells a man she's on the pill but lies, the guy still has to pay child support if she gets pregnant.  SHOULD she have told the truth, yes.  But SHOULD the guy have worn a condom regardless of her answer? Absolutely.

In a similar vein:  Ask the provider about his status.  But then put on that condom anyway and/or take your own medications for your own protection, REGARDLESS of the answer he provides.

Edited January 7 by Vegas_Millennial

[Toomuch4u]

I’m sorry but a lot of you guys on here aren’t very smart……be careful with the guys who claim to be negative on prep….it is usually a lie….start checking and ask questions…..I could go on and on……take care of yourselves……a lot of you just think with one head of yours….be careful. You might get scammed or worse.