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Posted

In 2021 I was in Dallas and a guy who worked at a high end store at the mall helped me with some purchases. Later on we began texting which became sexting and that was it as I live in the Midwest and he’s in TX. On my next visit to Dallas I see he is on RM (both RM’s) and I send him a message and he didn’t like that I saw him there. And then he blocked me. A month later I’m back in the Midwest and find a massage therapist on RMasseur I wanted to try for a while. I messaged him and he replied and said he was concerned cause he saw a review about ME online where a guy in Dallas said I was horrible, cheap, and so on. He even sent me a screen shot where Dallas Guy posted my full name and phone number. Do they have a forum or site? This was obviously a huge break with privacy protocols so I’m genuinely curious. Anyone? 

Posted

The networks I've heard of where providers discuss clients were geographically local.  A non-binary escort told me about a group chat in the Signal app in one city I visit.  They gave me some insights on some of the providers who advertise there based on what they say behind client's backs.

Posted
7 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

The first rule of being allowed on an escort board is no talking about what's said on the escort board.

I will admit they exist.  I'd never tell someone what was said about them (good or bad).

What is the info is inaccurate?

I get eczema, one "Masseur" thought it was a fungal infection. Nope just my immune system eating my skin. I wonder if he told others that I was dirty?

Posted
7 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

The first rule of being allowed on an escort board is no talking about what's said on the escort board.

I will admit they exist.  I'd never tell someone what was said about them (good or bad).

First rule of fight club is to not talk about fight club. Sharing information like this with clients is a no-no. It defeats the whole purpose of having private escort forums. There is no need for the escort to share the types of information you mention here. What matters is personal safety, avoiding scams, violence, stalkers, no-showers, and unserious clients. Repeat offenders of any of these we need to know about to help us avoid wasting our time and minimize risk.

Being cheap (which is only an opinion, not a “fact”), is not a compelling thing to share about a client. Refusing to pay for services rendered is a valid issue to discuss. While cheap clients may be annoying, clients are annoying in many other ways that don’t merit discussion. That’s just part of the job. Pros can handle all kinds of quirks and challenges clients present. The good guys - the providers worth your time and money - will recognize the comments for what they are and not take them seriously. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

Immature escorts whine and complain and make fun of clients over frivolous things and share sensitive personal information in a semi-public setting like a restricted access online forum. This is unprofessional behavior. Some of the younger guys will make these mistakes. Clients often want the looks of a 20 something but expect the maturity level and experience of a 30, 40, or 50 something. Those two groups have very little overlap on a Venn diagram. 

Posted
13 minutes ago, Pd1_jap said:

I get eczema, one "Masseur" thought it was a fungal infection.

I had a skin issue that thankfully I managed to take care of.  I was always careful to explain it to anyone prior to seeing them.  It was just a few spots, but it was best to explain up front.

Posted
34 minutes ago, Thelatin said:

I had a skin issue that thankfully I managed to take care of.  I was always careful to explain it to anyone prior to seeing them.  It was just a few spots, but it was best to explain up front.

I did not know I had it as it was on my lower back right above my ass crack. But the way he treated me was very rude and made me not want to see him again. Oh well. Thank God I live in LA with an abundance of masseurs and rent boys. 

His loss. 🤷‍♂️

Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, Pd1_jap said:

What is the info is inaccurate?

I get eczema, one "Masseur" thought it was a fungal infection. Nope just my immune system eating my skin. I wonder if he told others that I was dirty?

The same concern on the flip side:  What about inaccurate info or wild gossip about an escort?

It's just the nature of this hobby.  It breeds a thicker skin, or should.

As others here have said, you disclose what might be problematic and hope for the best.

You can't control what other people say about you.

Edited by BenjaminNicholas
Posted
12 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

Clients often want the looks of a 20 something but expect the maturity level and experience of a 30, 40, or 50 something. Those two groups have very little overlap on a Venn diagram. 

This is why I generally prefer providers who are over 30. Often, they've been at it for a few years and just want to be treated well, paid well and not incite or receive drama. There are exceptions, as we've seen a 24-year-old recently who is super cool, easy to talk to, passionate, and all you could want. 

I looked my number up on Mr. Number, and there was one complaint that I "flaked" on someone. It didn't give other details so it doesn't bother me. 

Posted (edited)

I'm a bit surprised! I did know that some escorts kiss and tell, but I assumed others were discreet and kept client information confidencial. After all, I can't count the ads that incluse the cliche "privacy and discretion assured"! 

I guess a positive note is that I ALWAYS meet in a hotel and never give out my number. They would have to describe me and use my first name and which state I'm from. That's about all I give out besides their payment.  

Edited by Danny-Darko
Posted
7 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

The same concern on the flip side:  What about inaccurate info or wild gossip about an escort?

It's just the nature of this hobby.  It breeds a thicker skin, or should.

As others here have said, you disclose what might be problematic and hope for the best.

You can't control what other people say about you.

Difference is this has my full real name and phone number. Not to mention what he was saying was false. 

Posted
17 minutes ago, Frenchjuris said:

Difference is this has my full real name and phone number. Not to mention what he was saying was false. 

This is one reason why I don't use my real name and real number. However, I have used the same VoIP phone number for the last 5-6 years. I tried contacting a masseur I really wanted to hire (great reviews and attractive) but he never answered my texts. I'm not sure if he checked my number and didn't like the VoIP number or maybe someone wrote some bad comments on one of these apps/message boards. I wanted to meet him enough that I reached out with my real number and he replied practically right away. Makes me wonder... lol I feel like I should have a pretty good reputation but I don't hire everyone I contact either. 🤷‍♂️

Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

While cheap clients may be annoying, clients are annoying in many other ways that don’t merit discussion.

But how will I ever know whether I am cheap and annoying?!  

 

8 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

The same concern on the flip side:  What about inaccurate info or wild gossip about an escort?

But on the other hand, clients, unlike escorts, are usually not advertising and actually most would prefer that people not know they are using the services of an escort, who likely has advertised his availability. I don’t think one can expect that a client should be as thick-skinned about inaccurate information or wild gossip when they have not put themselves out there in the same way a provider has in order to do business.  The client is actually expecting discretion and anonymity, where I would think the escort would want to be as well-known as possible to attract business.  With that fame comes certain risks, which the escort calculates will pay off in the long run if they provide good service, I imagine. I, and I reckon most clients, want to avoid fame or attention for hiring escorts.

Edited by FaustOust
Posted
14 hours ago, Pd1_jap said:

I did not know I had it as it was on my lower back right above my ass crack.

Same I had it there from scraping myself shaving, and then a few other spots, psoriasis.  So thankful for the new meds, as I’m clear now.  

Posted (edited)
52 minutes ago, Frenchjuris said:

Difference is this has my full real name and phone number.

I wasn't responding to you and my reply wasn't specifically about that sort of information.

But, to that point, yes, a lot of escorts too have had their personal info traded and outed, both here in a public forum and privately through the messaging system or email.

It's happened...  It's happening...  And it'll continue to happen.

 

11 minutes ago, FaustOust said:

But on the other hand, clients, unlike escorts, are usually not advertising and actually most would prefer that people not know they are using the services of an escort, who likely has advertised his availability. I don’t think one can expect that a client should be as thick-skinned about inaccurate information or wild gossip when they have not put themselves out there in the same way a provider has in order to do business.  The client is actually expecting discretion and anonymity, where I would think the escort would want to be as well-known as possible to attract business.  With that fame comes certain risks, which the escort calculates will pay off in the long run if they provide good service, I imagine. I, and I reckon most clients, want to avoid fame or attention for hiring escorts.

Bottom line, you're asking to play by two sets of rules and that's not always realistic or possible.

Don't get me wrong: I see what you're saying and don't inherently disagree.  I'm just being a realist here.  Not what COULD be, but what IS happening.

These private message boards may or may not contain client personal info, but much of what is exchanged is done to protect escorts from truly awful people.  That's the reason they exist and will continue to exist.

As I've said in other threads, this is not the hobby for those who have a lot to protect (and lose).

 

 

Edited by BenjaminNicholas
Posted

I checked myself on Mr. Number and even though I hire a lot nothing on there for my number. And I have had a few last minute cancellations and have occasionally been blocked on RM by a few guys. So certainly there could have been negaive things about me on there but nothing. This came up with a guy a couple months ago as I told him he was mentioned on here and he was curious about what they said (mostly good things) so he offered to show me what was said about me on Mr. Number which was nothing. 🙂

 

Don't be too paranoid. I doubt many even pretty regular clients are on there. You probably have to do something pretty bad or have had a weird misunderstanding to be on there. 

Posted
2 hours ago, urbanfetish said:

I wanted to meet him enough that I reached out with my real number and he replied practically right away.

Some escorts will only reply to real numbers with (or without) information connected to the number confirming someone’s identity. Burner numbers and VoIP numbers do not make the cut. It signals that you have something to hide. This is one way to vet, although it’s a very wide net to cast. You can only see a fraction of good, legitimate clients through this method.

To some extent, numbers not specifically associated with an apple iPhone mobile device an escort might exclude, especially younger escorts. Think blue bubble vs green. This honestly makes no sense to me, but some guys operate this way.

I don’t take these approaches myself, and disagree that anyone should take them. I’m just saying it happens. What happened to you above may have nothing to do with negative comments on a forum or an app. It could possibly be due solely to the fact that you used a VoIP and for any number of the above reasons the escort you contacted screened you out.

We literally live and die by the clients we see and the risks we accept when we choose to see a new person knowing very little information about them. We screen through various methods, as we should. You can’t fault us for that. The particulars of how we go about it are more nuanced. The process varies widely from guy to guy.

By the way, I believe some level of client privacy, anonymity, and discretion is a reasonable expectation. Not every escort is a model of good professional conduct. Therefore clients need to measure their risk tolerance in seeing different providers and about what they share and how much they share. Risk goes both ways in hiring. Neither party wants to be harmed by the other.

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