Ghosted trying to inquire about rates and services

[BigNoiseDallas]

Found a masseur on rentmasseur I wanted to try. I texted late last night about rates ("ask" is on his ad). He replied and wanted to know which offering, and I replied "erotic" (which he offers). He then replied with rates for 60 minutes and 90 minutes (they're reasonable). I went to bed after reading that message.

This morning, I asked what the erotic version included; he went silent, and that text was marked "delivered". About 3 hours later, I reached out again to see if he missed my first text -- still no response, and that text also shows "delivered." His status was "available now" late this morning, and all of my texts were polite and brief. It's been about 12 hours since the first text.

He had some good reviews on Rentmasseur and I wanted to try him, but needed a little more info from him before dropping a chunk of money. Should I have not used a text to ask about what "erotic" included? Can't remember the last time a masseur ghosted me when I asked this question. For what it's worth, think I asked for feedback on him in this forum a couple of months ago but didn't receive any.

[LukePhx]

I feel it's sometimes better to say what you expect for a massage then ask what a masseur is providing 

[jmichaeliii]

I have had this happen too.  I think sometimes when you ask for info more than once but don't advance the discussion toward an appointment, you get ignored after that.   I think the provider feels you might be a time waster.  Just my take.

I now get any questions I have in the first message then try to set an appointment if I want to hire.

[Lotus-eater]

At least you received a reply. A number of masseurs I've contacted to get basic information read my message and then don't bother replying despite the profile saying "ask" about rates and availability.

Edited October 18, 2024 by Lotus-eater

[BigNoiseDallas]

3 hours ago, LukePhx said:

I feel it's sometimes better to say what you expect for a massage then ask what a masseur is providing 

Fair point -- I'll try that next time. Thank you!

[BigNoiseDallas]

3 hours ago, jmichaeliii said:

I have had this happen too.  I think sometimes when you ask for info more than once but don't advance the discussion toward an appointment, you get ignored after that.   I think the provider feels you might be a time waster.  Just my take.

I now get any questions I have in the first message then try to set an appointment if I want to hire.

Also a fair point -- thank you! I should have taken the plunge when he told me his rate because it's comparable to what I have paid in the past.

 

[BuffaloKyle]

Especially with a masseur I wouldn't have asked what exactly he provides in an "erotic" massage. That's exactly why he went silent indeed.

[Spikeguy]

Maybe they don’t want to be explicit as to what erotic entails in case you are LE.

[BigNoiseDallas]

3 hours ago, Lotus-eater said:

At least you received a reply. A number of masseurs I've contacted to get basic information read my message and then don't bother replying despite the profile saying "ask" about rates and availability.

Yes, the "ask" (especially about rates) is annoying. I scheduled a masseur a few years ago who published his rate, and it covered all the modalities he offered -- no extra $$$ for MT or HE, no booking fee, just "here's the price." And it was a really good massage. Unfortunately I can't remember his name, but I think he was just visiting here.

[BigNoiseDallas]

Thanks for all the good feedback -- I'm experienced in hiring masseurs, guess I just wasn't thinking this time. Live and learn! 

[PaulM]

I think a lot of providers are cautious about putting what erotic means in writing.   I find it best to state what you are looking for without being too graphic for a masseur (can be more descriptive for escort services).  My 2 cents....

[BigNoiseDallas]

6 hours ago, PaulM said:

I think a lot of providers are cautious about putting what erotic means in writing.   I find it best to state what you are looking for without being too graphic for a masseur (can be more descriptive for escort services).  My 2 cents....

Agreed, I wasn't thinking. Should I reach out again and apologize for possibly putting him in an awkward spot? Your 2 cents are very valuable -- thank you!

[Peter Eater]

12 hours ago, BigNoiseDallas said:

He then replied with rates for 60 minutes and 90 minutes (they're reasonable). I went to bed after reading that message.

Might have been best to reply “thanks. I’ll be in touch in the morning,” rather than just reading his text and then going to bed. That way, he’d know you weren’t just text-fishing for the fun of it but were genuinely interested.

[maninsoma]

51 minutes ago, Peter Eater said:

Might have been best to reply “thanks. I’ll be in touch in the morning,” rather than just reading his text and then going to bed. That way, he’d know you weren’t just text-fishing for the fun of it but were genuinely interested.

That's the first thing that stood out to me.  It would be akin to just walking away from someone in a social setting without saying something along the lines of, "I have to go now; see you later." 

[pubic_assistance]

10 hours ago, BuffaloKyle said:

Especially with a masseur I wouldn't have asked what exactly he provides in an "erotic" massage. That's exactly why he went silent indeed.

I agree.

Many providers advertise as masseurs (even though they DO provide sex services) as a way to avoid the risks of law enforcement. Requesting they put in writing, what sort of sexual services are on the menu is going to be negate their whole point of advertising as a masseur and not an escort.

[BaronArtz]

For a first time appointment, I usually request a combo of sensual and erotic.  I let him work his magic.  In most cases, the services delivered are above and beyond what my 'script' would have been.

[+ Jamie21]

It’s fairly annoying to be asked what is included in ‘erotic’.  I’m not worried about law enforcement (where I work there’s no problem with selling sex). The problem is that it’s like trying to guess what the client wants…is he an anxious first timer who’d be put off by some of what is listed or is he a more sophisticated client looking for something niche? How do you pitch the response? Sometimes it’s simpler to just respond with rates, direct them to your website or advert and leave it to them if they want to book. 

[pubic_assistance]

17 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I’m not worried about law enforcement

Which means the answer to this question can be very different depending on geography (and therefore legality).

 

[marylander1940]

There's no need to be very explicit. They all know what they're up to and what's expected from them. Whether they want to do it with all clients (no matter age or body) type or a few lucky ones is a whole different story.

 

[marylander1940]

On 10/18/2024 at 5:09 PM, Jamie21 said:

I'm not worried about law enforcement (where I work there’s no problem with selling sex). 

I guess we are backwards this side of the pond!

[+ Jamie21]

58 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

I guess we are backwards this side of the pond!

In that respect…yes! 

[Thelatin]

If he has decent reviews, and you are interested, I wouldn’t ask for more details.  What’s the worst thing that could happen?  It’s ok not to get exactly everything you have in mind.  

[misterhumphries]

2 hours ago, Thelatin said:

If he has decent reviews, and you are interested, I wouldn’t ask for more details.  What’s the worst thing that could happen?  It’s ok not to get exactly everything you have in mind.  

No, it's not OK! If I'm paying, I want what I want. 

If a given escort doesn't provide it, there are plenty of others.

The worst that could happen? A gullible or shy client could be taken for a ride and be out several hundred dollars based on reviews that could be years old or bogus. Escort reviews are not objective and do not apply to all situations and clients.

Edited October 24, 2024 by misterhumphries

[+ ApexNomad]

If you’ve been doing this for a while, you should know what works and what doesn’t when engaging with a provider. If you’re ever in doubt, just ask them to hop on a call for a few minutes. I’m a big believer in a quick call or FaceTime. Shows you’re real. Serious. You can lock down the appointment right there.

Worrying about a few words here and there is ridiculous. If a provider is ghosting you because you said a couple of things wrong, move on. Their loss. Any provider who won’t meet you in the middle isn’t worth your time. It’s your money, and you should feel comfortable knowing what to expect.

When it comes to massages, I go in with zero expectations. Maybe that’s not the best mindset, but the planning and expectations are much different for me compared to hiring an escort. My needs are different. The layout is typically different and the cost is typically less, too. Allow yourself the freedom to let the masseur guide things a bit more in this space and see what happens.

[Jay DC]

On 10/18/2024 at 6:11 AM, BigNoiseDallas said:

Agreed, I wasn't thinking. Should I reach out again and apologize for possibly putting him in an awkward spot? Your 2 cents are very valuable -- thank you!

Leave the poor boy alone. Don’t reach out to apologize. He’s got better shit to do rather than reading your texts. And what’s the end game? You want him to know you have nice manners? How much time of his do you need to consume?  Chalk it up to a learning experience and move on. You both will have a little more time to plan your next adventures.