Do you let someone know you’re going to see a provider?

[starman05]

You know, just in case.
 

I want to see someone but a little voice in my head is saying let someone know where you’ll be 

Edited September 7, 2024 by starman05

[sandcastle12]

I've only started to meet providers recently, but I always tell a friend where I'm going and who I'm meeting. They don't need to know it's a provider, I think my friend assumes I'm meeting Grindr hookups.....

 

[+ Pensant]

Never thought to.

[+ JamesB]

 I always do. I have a friend who also hires, and we always keep each other informed.

[TonyDown]

What purpose would telling anyone serve?  That wouldn't prevent much.

For me, it would be a massage provider.  And no I don't tell anyone.  I let guidance from this forum help decide if booking someone new.

I usually feel pretty safe.   That said, it's important to trust your gut and make sure the guidance on the forum is from a long standing member.

Edited September 7, 2024 by TonyDown

[Tristan777]

I always tell a friend and give them the link plus the address and the phone number I’ve been texting.

[+ JamesB]

1 hour ago, TonyDown said:

What purpose would telling anyone serve?  That wouldn't prevent much.

For me, it would be a massage provider.  And no I don't tell anyone.  I let guidance from this forum help decide if booking someone new.

I usually feel pretty safe.   That said, it's important to trust your gut and make sure the guidance on the forum is from a long standing member.

 

 If something happens, I want someone to start looking for me right away, not after a few days.

[Whippoorwill]

Do i tell anyone? No. I just do thorough research and trust my street smarts. Works for me. 

[Monarchy79]

2 hours ago, Vin Marco said:

I guess you never read about or heard about the escort that was tied up for EIGHT hours before he was set on fire with gasoline. 

Can you PLEASE share this story. 
 

 

[soloyo215]

Not all the time, and I don't tell that I'm seeing a provider.

It's always good to have a person know your whereabouts in case of any type of emergency. I don't do it perfectly but I do my best to ensure that I'm not in a situation where I can disappear without anyone knowing.

[Monarchy79]

1 minute ago, Vin Marco said:

Unfortunately, things like this do happen thankfully not with a lot of frequency but a lot of times these things are slipped under the rug. The story I'm referring to occurred between 15 and 20 years ago in the state of New York. You can never be too safe in this business. It's never a bad idea to let someone know where you're going ( at least for a first time visit with a total stranger ) for those that don't it's fine,  no judgment, but you can't fault somebody for being cautious. 
 

i'll share a story about myself.... about eight years in San Francisco I got complacent, let my guard down and accepted a soda from someone I had never met. They were three of us....  at a certain point , I couldn't tell if I had been there 30 minutes or five hours luckily I didn't finish the beverage and  at that point I told these guys "game over" I took what was mine and left. I immediately called a psychiatrist friend /client of mine who lives in San Francisco and he informed me that I had been  most likely drugged and because I'm a big guy it helped but had I consumed the entire beverage I might not be here writing this story. In a weird way, I'm glad that happened because it reset my guard and I've never been complacent about such a thing since. 

I’m glad you made it out of being drugged, unscathed. Wow!!! 
 

[+ Socalguy]

Wow, never had to think about it being married to @Robster, we always know who the other one is seeing but I can see the importance of letting someone know where you are and with whom. 

[+ bashful]

I remember reading here a long while ago, someone posted that before they leave their house, they write down the info of who, and where they are going, and leave the piece of paper in plain site on the living room floor.

[coriolis888]

6 hours ago, TonyDown said:

What purpose would telling anyone serve?  That wouldn't prevent much.

 

What purpose?  

Although it sounds grizzly, if you went to a provider's place and he happened to be a bad person and hurt you beyond recovery (killed you), by advising someone where you traveled to or visited, at least someone would know where you went which would make it easier for the police to catch the person who did you in.    

Of course it would not personally do you any good but at least the bad guy would be caught if the police were competent. 

Edited September 7, 2024 by coriolis888

[marylander1940]

17 hours ago, starman05 said:

You know, just in case.
 

I want to see someone but a little voice in my head is saying let someone know where you’ll be 

In this day and age if there's a phone involved there's a trace of text messages, location, etc. Unfortunately, cops don't have the time/manpower to investigate in all cases. 

[Beancounter]

1 hour ago, bashful said:

I remember reading here a long while ago, someone posted that before they leave their house, they write down the info of who, and where they are going, and leave the piece of paper in plain site on the living room 

That was me.  I still do that.  If nothing happens, I throw the information away when I get home.  If the worst should happen the appropriate people know where to start.  

[marylander1940]

2 hours ago, Vin Marco said:

Murder? Cops will investigate and will utilize phone forensics for lack of better words. Sometimes I go to sleep with forensic files playing at night and that's one of the best ways they catch murderers. Petty crimes I will agree that sometimes they don't have the resources or the manpower to investigate those types of cases. 

Many cases including murder are simply locked in a drawer, or the victim is blamed because of his lifestyle he "had it coming", etc. 

I think it's called the CSI effect when folks assume everything will be analyzed and investigated.

Edited September 8, 2024 by marylander1940

[+ DrownedBoy]

12 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Many cases including murder are simply locked in a drawer, or the victim is blamed because of his lifestyle he "had it coming", etc. 

I think it's called the CSI effect when folks assume everything will be analyzed and investigated.

It also applies to lesser items. For instance, I've had an escort threaten that he could use my texts to him could get me in trouble.

Dude, the cops are not going to scroll over pages of texts just because some guy walks into the station and claims he's a male prostitute and has a grudge against a John 😄

Edited September 8, 2024 by DrownedBoy

[marylander1940]

44 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

It also applies to lesser items. For instance, I've had an escort threaten that he could use my texts to him could get me in trouble.

Dude, the cops are not going to scroll over pages of texts just because some guy walks into the station and claims he's a male prostitute and has a grudge against a John 😄

Although that's something that could be done while eating donuts 

[nate_sf]

As a provider, I tell my husband about each appointment and where I'm going. Part of this is for safety, and part of it is just communicating to him what I'm up to. He used to be a provider himself so he gets it.

At the end of the appointment I text him to let him know I'm on my way home, and if he doesn't hear from me he'll send a text to see if everything is OK.

Fortunately I've never had something happen like what @Vin Marco describes. Yikes!

[liubit]

15 hours ago, nate_sf said:

I tell my husband about each appointment and where I'm going. Part of this is for safety, and part of it is just communicating to him what I'm up to.

I do the same when I go meet a provider, and my husband also tells me when he plays. We do it for the same reasons that @nate_sf points out. 

[DMICS]

I never have, but it's something I may have to think about moving forward. 

I usually host at my place or at a hotel. For the most part I generally hire well-reputable guys so I've haven't had any scary incidents. I also think my appearance helps, people I meet in my day-to-day life always say I appear intimidating. 

[arnie]

No but I only use providers with a solid history on rentmen so I have no worries. 

[TonyDown]

On 9/7/2024 at 11:02 AM, Vin Marco said:

I guess you never read about or heard about the escort that was tied up for EIGHT hours before he was set on fire with gasoline. 

Well no I did not.    🤣🤣🤣 Do you have a link?

A client in Florida was murdered by a provider's boyfriend.   The BF was the jealous type with anger issues.

You can find it if you Google Aaron Michael Dobbins.  The client's hands were tied behind his back and was shot in the back of the head.  Took years to solve the murder.

But yeah I see no benefit telling anyone about a massage appointment.  Wouldn't prevent anything.

Yes, you could leave some breadcrumbs for the police to follow if you go missing. 

Clients that want to be dominated, tied up, slapped around or book 4 hand might think more about doing so.

I try sticking with really sweet masseurs.

❤️

  

 

 

Edited September 14, 2024 by TonyDown

[MuscleDaddyRWC]

I have a very good friend that also hires and we text each other the providers link/info before an appointment.  Then after we do a kind of mini review. We tend to have the same taste in men and have overlapped providers. (My husband and I both hire and strangely have never shared info like this!)

I don't think I've ever given thought to the dangers, but I guess it's good to know where the authorities can start looking if something ever were to happen to us.