Do you let someone know you’re going to see a provider?

[starman05]

You know, just in case.
 

I want to see someone but a little voice in my head is saying let someone know where you’ll be 

Edited September 7, 2024 by starman05

[sandcastle12]

I've only started to meet providers recently, but I always tell a friend where I'm going and who I'm meeting. They don't need to know it's a provider, I think my friend assumes I'm meeting Grindr hookups.....

 

[+ Pensant]

Never thought to.

[+ JamesB]

 I always do. I have a friend who also hires, and we always keep each other informed.

[Vin Marco]

It works both ways. Even after all these years on the occasion that I make a visit to somebody totally completely new ( particularly someone's home ) I always tell somebody where I'm at... " if you don't hear from me in..... "  😉

[TonyDown]

What purpose would telling anyone serve?  That wouldn't prevent much.

For me, it would be a massage provider.  And no I don't tell anyone.  I let guidance from this forum help decide if booking someone new.

I usually feel pretty safe.   That said, it's important to trust your gut and make sure the guidance on the forum is from a long standing member.

Edited September 7, 2024 by TonyDown

[Vin Marco]

52 minutes ago, TonyDown said:

What purpose would telling anyone serve?  That wouldn't prevent much.

I guess you never read about or heard about the escort that was tied up for EIGHT hours before he was set on fire with gasoline. 

[Tristan777]

I always tell a friend and give them the link plus the address and the phone number I’ve been texting.

[+ JamesB]

1 hour ago, TonyDown said:

What purpose would telling anyone serve?  That wouldn't prevent much.

For me, it would be a massage provider.  And no I don't tell anyone.  I let guidance from this forum help decide if booking someone new.

I usually feel pretty safe.   That said, it's important to trust your gut and make sure the guidance on the forum is from a long standing member.

 

 If something happens, I want someone to start looking for me right away, not after a few days.

[Whippoorwill]

Do i tell anyone? No. I just do thorough research and trust my street smarts. Works for me. 

[Monarchy79]

2 hours ago, Vin Marco said:

I guess you never read about or heard about the escort that was tied up for EIGHT hours before he was set on fire with gasoline. 

Can you PLEASE share this story. 
 

 

[soloyo215]

Not all the time, and I don't tell that I'm seeing a provider.

It's always good to have a person know your whereabouts in case of any type of emergency. I don't do it perfectly but I do my best to ensure that I'm not in a situation where I can disappear without anyone knowing.

[Vin Marco]

27 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

Can you PLEASE share this story. 
 

 

Unfortunately, things like this do happen thankfully not with a lot of frequency but a lot of times these things are slipped under the rug. The story I'm referring to occurred between 15 and 20 years ago in the state of New York. You can never be too safe in this business. It's never a bad idea to let someone know where you're going ( at least for a first time visit with a total stranger ) for those that don't it's fine,  no judgment, but you can't fault somebody for being cautious. 
 

i'll share a story about myself.... about eight years in San Francisco I got complacent, let my guard down and accepted a soda from someone I had never met. They were three of us....  at a certain point , I couldn't tell if I had been there 30 minutes or five hours luckily I didn't finish the beverage and  at that point I told these guys "game over" I took what was mine and left. I immediately called a psychiatrist friend /client of mine who lives in San Francisco and he informed me that I had been  most likely drugged and because I'm a big guy it helped but had I consumed the entire beverage I might not be here writing this story. In a weird way, I'm glad that happened because it reset my guard and I've never been complacent about such a thing since. 

[Monarchy79]

1 minute ago, Vin Marco said:

Unfortunately, things like this do happen thankfully not with a lot of frequency but a lot of times these things are slipped under the rug. The story I'm referring to occurred between 15 and 20 years ago in the state of New York. You can never be too safe in this business. It's never a bad idea to let someone know where you're going ( at least for a first time visit with a total stranger ) for those that don't it's fine,  no judgment, but you can't fault somebody for being cautious. 
 

i'll share a story about myself.... about eight years in San Francisco I got complacent, let my guard down and accepted a soda from someone I had never met. They were three of us....  at a certain point , I couldn't tell if I had been there 30 minutes or five hours luckily I didn't finish the beverage and  at that point I told these guys "game over" I took what was mine and left. I immediately called a psychiatrist friend /client of mine who lives in San Francisco and he informed me that I had been  most likely drugged and because I'm a big guy it helped but had I consumed the entire beverage I might not be here writing this story. In a weird way, I'm glad that happened because it reset my guard and I've never been complacent about such a thing since. 

I’m glad you made it out of being drugged, unscathed. Wow!!! 
 

[Vin Marco]

This is also why I have a hard rule about not doing overnights with people I've never met on an hourly basis first. The only exception is if someone I know can vouch but most of my colleagues like Zeb have retired so I can't really rely on that anymore... people tell me "you're a big guy and you can defend yourself " to which I always reply with the fact that no amount of strength,  no amount of jiu-jitsu can help me while I'm asleep 😴 it may sound funny, but it's true. 

[Vin Marco]

3 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

I’m glad you made it out of being drugged, unscathed. Wow!!! 
 

Thank you... I appreciate that... it was a valuable lesson I needed to relearn...  like I said , I'm sort of glad it happened because now I absolutely will not let that happen again.  Sometimes when things are going so good for so long it's easy to get complacent. 

[Vin Marco]

7 minutes ago, Vin Marco said:

Unfortunately, things like this do happen thankfully not with a lot of frequency but a lot of times these things are slipped under the rug. The story I'm referring to occurred between 15 and 20 years ago in the state of New York. You can never be too safe in this business. It's never a bad idea to let someone know where you're going ( at least for a first time visit with a total stranger ) for those that don't it's fine,  no judgment, but you can't fault somebody for being cautious. 
 

i'll share a story about myself.... about eight years in San Francisco I got complacent, let my guard down and accepted a soda from someone I had never met. They were three of us....  at a certain point , I couldn't tell if I had been there 30 minutes or five hours luckily I didn't finish the beverage and  at that point I told these guys "game over" I took what was mine and left. I immediately called a psychiatrist friend /client of mine who lives in San Francisco and he informed me that I had been  most likely drugged and because I'm a big guy it helped but had I consumed the entire beverage I might not be here writing this story. In a weird way, I'm glad that happened because it reset my guard and I've never been complacent about such a thing since. 

* there were 3 of us. I agreed to see two folks at the same time. Something I have to be very discerning and sagacious about.. 

[+ Socalguy]

Wow, never had to think about it being married to @Robster, we always know who the other one is seeing but I can see the importance of letting someone know where you are and with whom. 

[+ bashful]

I remember reading here a long while ago, someone posted that before they leave their house, they write down the info of who, and where they are going, and leave the piece of paper in plain site on the living room floor.

[coriolis888]

6 hours ago, TonyDown said:

What purpose would telling anyone serve?  That wouldn't prevent much.

 

What purpose?  

Although it sounds grizzly, if you went to a provider's place and he happened to be a bad person and hurt you beyond recovery (killed you), by advising someone where you traveled to or visited, at least someone would know where you went which would make it easier for the police to catch the person who did you in.    

Of course it would not personally do you any good but at least the bad guy would be caught if the police were competent. 

Edited September 7, 2024 by coriolis888

[marylander1940]

17 hours ago, starman05 said:

You know, just in case.
 

I want to see someone but a little voice in my head is saying let someone know where you’ll be 

In this day and age if there's a phone involved there's a trace of text messages, location, etc. Unfortunately, cops don't have the time/manpower to investigate in all cases. 

[Beancounter]

1 hour ago, bashful said:

I remember reading here a long while ago, someone posted that before they leave their house, they write down the info of who, and where they are going, and leave the piece of paper in plain site on the living room 

That was me.  I still do that.  If nothing happens, I throw the information away when I get home.  If the worst should happen the appropriate people know where to start.  

[Vin Marco]

1 minute ago, marylander1940 said:

cops don't have the time/manpower to investigate in all cases. 

Murder? Cops will investigate and will utilize phone forensics for lack of better words. Sometimes I go to sleep with forensic files playing at night and that's one of the best ways they catch murderers. Petty crimes I will agree that sometimes they don't have the resources or the manpower to investigate those types of cases. 

[marylander1940]

2 hours ago, Vin Marco said:

Murder? Cops will investigate and will utilize phone forensics for lack of better words. Sometimes I go to sleep with forensic files playing at night and that's one of the best ways they catch murderers. Petty crimes I will agree that sometimes they don't have the resources or the manpower to investigate those types of cases. 

Many cases including murder are simply locked in a drawer, or the victim is blamed because of his lifestyle he "had it coming", etc. 

I think it's called the CSI effect when folks assume everything will be analyzed and investigated.

Edited September 8, 2024 by marylander1940

[+ DrownedBoy]

12 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Many cases including murder are simply locked in a drawer, or the victim is blamed because of his lifestyle he "had it coming", etc. 

I think it's called the CSI effect when folks assume everything will be analyzed and investigated.

It also applies to lesser items. For instance, I've had an escort threaten that he could use my texts to him could get me in trouble.

Dude, the cops are not going to scroll over pages of texts just because some guy walks into the station and claims he's a male prostitute and has a grudge against a John 😄

Edited September 8, 2024 by DrownedBoy