Posing a moral question.

[mentalkink]

A married friend of mine who has a LEO background contacted me about an escort I had recommended.  Unbeknownst to me apparently this escort was convicted of drug related felony and went to prison.  Seems he was released within in the last 3 years. My friend provided proof.  Frankly I was shocked he in no way seemed to be that type of person.  I have other friends that I have recommended to him.  No big issues other than the typical not always being responsive etc.  Am I obligated to inform my friends I gave the recommendation to for this escort

[+ DynamicUno]

If the escort was in prison for a violent offense, I would say you should inform your friends. Otherwise, use your discretion.

[MikeH10]

personally i wouldn't bother. i don't see how a drug related offense (especially in the past) is relevant to the experience they had or will have.

[viewing ownly]

We're always learning here. What is LEO?

Just the fact that you bring up he isn't responsive at times is reason enough to not recommend him. That has no bearing on what his past was, just that there's people who do care enough to reply when you're interested in seeing them. 

As for the present time, he's only immoral if he does something unlawful again. Being realistic, there's likely many dozens of people available who have secret, checkered private lives that we could be horrified if we discovered them. Concern yourself with "in the now", not his before or after. 

[+ db66]

3 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

What is LEO?

Law Enforcement Officer 👮‍♂️ 

[spidir]

https://youtu.be/qprdKqxfc7A?si=Quf3b0GM3q3_C8Sw

[+ APPLE1]

I think the big picture is very important.

1) Nearly everything in life, including criminal convictions, involves a huge totality of circumstance and shades of grey. I've rarely found "conviction" alone enough to make a moral judgment against anyone.

2) I only control my own moral compass, BUT, if anyone HERE is going to climb that hypocritical soap box and proselytize based on words like "felony" and "morals," it seems important to remind ourselves the moral judgment many others have of what we do here, and to be reminded of just how encompassing the word felony is.

In many places "facilitation" of prostitution is a felony. Days of old, when "facilitation" only meant owning a house of ill repute, are gone! The term "facilitating" was the motivator for Craigslist to end personals.

3) Many states consider criminal convictions "public records." If so, your friends are free to investigate any provider they want to on their own. IF NOT, I'd invite you to have a conversation with your LEO friend about #2 above and the restrictions placed on LEO'S in regard to sharing conviction records.

 

 

Edited April 17 by APPLE1
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[Thelatin]

Personally I would appreciate the heads up.  I've had several experiences with providers and drug issues.  Yes yes yes, of course this person could be an entire new person, I'm sure he's wonderful.  But let me decide if I want to possibly expose myself to that type of situation.   I'm so tired of people with drug and alcohol problems that I have zero tolerance. 

[wsc]

When you hire a provider for the first time, you know only what his ad said or what he himself told you about himself, and he may tell you only what you want to hear, not necessarily what you need to know. That's why large doses of both skepticism and caution should be used with new-to-you providers. And that's why you should always come here to these fora to get any additional info and insight on a new hire.

Absent clear and disqualifying indicators for dishonesty or violence (which, if present, you would hopefully have found here), a man's past should stay there, in his past. Few of us here, if any, have led pristine lives, and all have been one wrong choice away from having a record of our own. I doubt any of us would wish to be forever painted with a brush of past indiscretions, and I would just give the man the benefit of any a doubt, casting no stones from inside a glass house.

Or in short, live and let live.

[+ DrownedBoy]

"Drug related offense" is way too vague.

If he got arrested for using drugs, ignore it. They should all be legal anyway. 

But if he hurt/robbed/raped someone while high....you get the idea.

Like @APPLE1said, it's public record. Don't tell anyone unless it's something serious. 

[maninsoma]

Assuming your LEO friend was able to look up this information in a manner available to anyone, I'd say nothing.

If your LEO friend is using information systems in an unauthorized manner -- in other words, using his position at work to look up information about people when he has no business reason to do so -- you might want to remind him that he's putting himself at risk and that you don't want information gained in that manner shared with you.

[+ DrownedBoy]

13 hours ago, maninsoma said:

Assuming your LEO friend was able to look up this information in a manner available to anyone, I'd say nothing.

If your LEO friend is using information systems in an unauthorized manner -- in other words, using his position at work to look up information about people when he has no business reason to do so -- you might want to remind him that he's putting himself at risk and that you don't want information gained in that manner shared with you.

This isn't a court of law. You should get information any way you can.

[maninsoma]

1 hour ago, DrownedBoy said:

This isn't a court of law. You should get information any way you can.

No, a government employee such as a law enforcement officer shouldn't just look up people's criminal history because he can.  I used to work for a government agency and had access to confidential information about many citizens who came into contact with our agency or counterparts throughout the state.  One of the first instructions was that accessing that system was on a need to know basis -- in other words, if the person in question is connected in some way to work you are doing, then you can review their history.  Otherwise, accessing that information was potentially grounds for termination and was also a misdemeanor.  Though I never became aware of anyone who was prosecuted for improper access, there were many people who were investigated and disciplined internally for looking at information they had no reason to review.

I am only referring to improper use of databases that aren't available to the general public.  Looking up publicly available information is an entirely different matter.

[+ DynamicUno]

Does anyone else see the irony of questioning the morality of informing friends who are mutual clients of a provider about his criminal history, when everyone who has hired him is has engaged in an illegal (and immoral by most religious interpretations) act?

[KeepItReal]

19 minutes ago, DynamicUno said:

Does anyone else see the irony of questioning the morality of informing friends who are mutual clients of a provider about his criminal history, when everyone who has hired him is has engaged in an illegal (and immoral by most religious interpretations) act?

No. Being religious and being moral are two very different things. Neither are being lawful necessarily being moral. Don't overthink it. 

[soloyo215]

On 4/16/2024 at 11:05 PM, mentalkink said:

A married friend of mine who has a LEO background contacted me about an escort I had recommended.  Unbeknownst to me apparently this escort was convicted of drug related felony and went to prison.  Seems he was released within in the last 3 years. My friend provided proof.  Frankly I was shocked he in no way seemed to be that type of person.  I have other friends that I have recommended to him.  No big issues other than the typical not always being responsive etc.  Am I obligated to inform my friends I gave the recommendation to for this escort

I think it may depend on the type of felony that he was convicted of, your own moral standards about it, and how well you know him. So far it seems like none of the people you made a recommendation has had any issues.

Will you be comfortable asking him before talking about his record behind his back? That seems more in alignment with good morals.

I also agree that at the end of the day, there is a very fine line between escorting and other illegal activities that might include incurring in other illegal practices, such as the use of certain substances, prescription drugs that haven't been prescribed, and who knows what else. So if the felony that your friend was involved in doesn't involve something that might put his prospective clients at risk, I don't see why it's your responsibility to disclose it. Furthermore, I do know a few providers who are in the business because they have a record and can't find suitable work. Also, he got caught and convicted. How many are there who have committed crimes and haven't been caught?

Just my thoughts, not law.