When does one bring up special requests or fetishes?

[+ Skirader]

So new to all this but when does one bring up what they ideally would want in a meeting with a providers?  
 

Whats appropriate or inappropriate and what method of communication is preferred?  

[domonkasshu160]

When I first contact a provider, it is via text.  I say I am responding to their ad on (whatever site their ad was on) and that I am wondering if they have time and what is the rate to host a (time duration) (type, usually erotic) mutual nude and mutual touch massage at (whatever time I am looking for). I then say my ideal session would include release and a shower together at the end.

This has never failed me.  They can either not respond(which means we probably were not a match and that I have saved myself from a disappointing session), say no to certain things(which means I know what I am getting and what they are comfortable with), or agree so they know what you are expecting.  I have asked masseurs to various fetishes(watching them piss, watching them release, nipple pay, licking, and other sensual elements) if I felt like we had a connection on a second meeting and the worst they can do is say no.

While some on here like the thrill of not knowing what will happen and the anticipation of the "will he or won't he" get naked, I am not a fan of gambling money on that when I have expectations.

[56harrisond]

👆🏼 Discussions to check-out 

[BuffaloKyle]

Any special requests or fetishes bring up during your initial booking messages however you are doing that with him. Text, call, RM messenger, etc. Let the provider know you are looking for instance dildo play with him. And let him know whether it's a just a request or necessity. Some providers might upcharge too if it's a request like that too be prepared for. If it's a more simple request like wear a jockstrap then they shouldn't.

[Boaxxx]

I think this a great question because I took am unsure.  I don't want to come across too strong in my initial text but at the same time I want the provider to be aware of what I am looking for. I tend to be a bit vague at the beginning by simply saying I am into certain kinks/fetish and state that I am more of a sub-bottom. I will then provide more details if there seems to be interest from the provider by asking for more details. Not sure if that is the best approach but that what I have done in the past. 🤷

[Jamie21]

Ask as early as possible and be straight up about it. It’s quite annoying to have clients act in a coy way by opening with “hi how are you” etc and then slowly circling around what they want.

Much better to say “hi I’m looking for x and x etc are you ok with that? If so I’d like to book a session for duration on time, day  etc”. Don’t be shy about stating anything you want,  I’ve heard everything. 

[caramelsub]

Preferably before the meeting. I’m pretty vanilla, but I do enjoy dirty talk and verbal domination, which most providers I meet are able to accommodate me for that. However some providers are turned off by being dominant verbally in the bedroom. So just let them know in advance what your likes are. Though some providers can be prudish at discussing sexual details before a session.

[pubic_assistance]

It's interesting to how the perception of providers here is so to the point.

I have always approached the whole thing differently and more similar to how I would approach a hook up.

Meet first,.catch a vibe, get to know your partners natural moves before discussing taking it up a notch (or two ) So I prefer to hire for an erotic.massage and let the provider show me his own moves and then discuss more for a second session if there's a natural chemistry. Even if it's just a skilled performance.

Edited April 9 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[marylander1940]

12 hours ago, Skirader said:

So new to all this but when does one bring up what they ideally would want in a meeting with a providers?  
 

Whats appropriate or inappropriate and what method of communication is preferred?  

in the 2nd text message... Just get to the point, don't waste people's time!

[PileDriver]

depends on the situation, no? who is the massage therapist or escort and how do they present online. and what is the nature of the fetish? sometimes I am coy and other times up front in the first exchange of information. i prefer long term mutually satisfying relationships. its a delicate line when approaching someone new. and i travel on business so sometimes things need to cut to he chase for me. just don't your fetish get projected onto some unsuspecting dude and then get offended when things go awry.

[soloyo215]

21 hours ago, Skirader said:

So new to all this but when does one bring up what they ideally would want in a meeting with a providers?  
 

Whats appropriate or inappropriate and what method of communication is preferred?  

I imagine that you have first looked for providers that can acommodate for your interests (not all are). Their profiles might give you an idea of the things that they are prepared to provide. If you have chosen a provider who you know by their profile caters what you are interested in, you can ask in the initial conversation while you are coordinating the encounter. Always ask, never assume just because you read it in the profile.

If otherwise you are either blindly looking for providers without knowing if they specifically cater to your interest, it's still good to ask, but you might want to be more sensitive to them. I know of at least one provider who (IN MY OPINION) overreacts a little when people ask him questions about things that are not in his profile. The same goes if you are interested in a provider that doesn't list your interest, but you are thrilled to talk him into it (willing to accept his fee, of course).

Also, not sure how necessary your fetish is (not being insensitive, please read on), as there are some people who only feel aroused when doing things of their particular interest (aka, fetish). I know people and have friends who have different fetishes, and some have mentioned that they cannot function without the fetish. Others said that it's a preference. I imagine that can determine how relevant in the conversation it is for you.

It boils down to asking the provider, but how you ask matters if the provider doesn't list openness to it, and when you ask might depend on how important it is to you.

[BaronArtz]

On 4/9/2024 at 7:37 AM, pubic_assistance said:

It's interesting to how the perception of providers here is so to the point.

I have always approached the whole thing differently and more similar to how I would approach a hook up.

Meet first,.catch a vibe, get to know your partners natural moves before discussing taking it up a notch (or two ) So I prefer to hire for an erotic.massage and let the provider show me his own moves and then discuss more for a second session if there's a natural chemistry. Even if it's just a skilled performance.

I totally agree with that.   That is how I operate as well.  Let the masseur or escort surprise you with his moves during the first session,  Sometimes it can exceed your expectations and desires.  Then, if you determine there is indeed a good match and an attraction, ask to turn it up a notch or two - if that is even necessary - in the subsequent sessions.

And as always, tip well if he goes the extra mile.

[Luv2play]

On 4/9/2024 at 5:14 AM, caramelsub said:

Preferably before the meeting. I’m pretty vanilla, but I do enjoy dirty talk and verbal domination, which most providers I meet are able to accommodate me for that. However some providers are turned off by being dominant verbally in the bedroom. So just let them know in advance what your likes are. Though some providers can be prudish at discussing sexual details before a session.

If a provider appears prudish during conversations in whatever media I use to contact them, that ends the discussions right there. If I wanted a date with a prude, I would go to a church social. Not that I have anything against the latter, which I can enjoy on its own terms ( for instance the food offered is usually quite good).