Running into an acquaintance

[Andy768]

I've read a couple threads sharing stories and tips for when men have run into providers in public. Has anyone happened to run into a personal or business acquaintance at a resort/club/cruise? The thought of this makes me nervous - I'm the absolute worst at playing it cool and smooth in awkward situations - but I've been trying to embrace more of a YOLO mindset lately.

[+ nycman]

If your life is such that you can’t be seen out with a hooker….. don’t go out with a hooker.

No judgment. No shade. Just fact.

If you choose to go out with a hooker, you will be seen, you will be judged, and there will be shade….the question is, do you care?

[viewing ownly]

It's a small world. All of us see people from realms in our past out and about. In a case of seeing a provider, leave them be UNLESS they engage first. Their obligation to you is over until you see them "on the clock" again, so be respectful of their "off the clock" time.

Last year I had an embarrassing instance of seeing someone I used to work with in a neighboring grocery line. I said to the person I was with that if I fast-forwarded in time 20 years from now, that lady over there presently looks like one of my former co-workers. She unfortunately overheard me and angrily said a brief hello. She had aged that badly in such a short time frame, and I wished I kept my comment to myself!

[Jamie21]

I ran into a client at a naked beach in Mykonos one time. He was with his partner. It didn’t seem to be a problem. 

[samhexum]

3 hours ago, Andy768 said:

I've been trying to embrace more of a YOLO mindset lately.

I embrace a James Bond mindset... YOLT.

[Simon Suraci]

23 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

In a case of seeing a provider, leave them be UNLESS they engage first.

^I do the same when I see clients around because you never know if the client wants to maintain discretion regarding how they know you. Maybe he is with a spouse that doesn’t know. Or perhaps they simply do not want to engage outside the context of a session. For these reasons, it’s up to the client to approach me. I’m not ignoring or avoiding the client. I’m giving them the option to maintain their discretion. When they engage with me, I reciprocate.

On 4/7/2024 at 6:21 AM, Andy768 said:

Has anyone happened to run into a personal or business acquaintance at a resort/club/cruise?

^I suggest the same approach as above. You respect their boundaries and hopefully they do the same. Maybe acknowledge them with a nod or something. Otherwise leave them alone unless they make it clear they want to engage with you. You both know why you are there. Let him be. 

[marylander1940]

On 4/7/2024 at 9:21 AM, Andy768 said:

I've read a couple threads sharing stories and tips for when men have run into providers in public. Has anyone happened to run into a personal or business acquaintance at a resort/club/cruise? The thought of this makes me nervous - I'm the absolute worst at playing it cool and smooth in awkward situations - but I've been trying to embrace more of a YOLO mindset lately.

Just hire per hour, get in, get off and get lost. Don't take them on a cruise with you if you think you might run into someone who knows you and he'll spread the word that you hire guys for sex and that terrifies you. 

Many times, I've introduced guys I've hired at restaurants to acquaintances as " visiting nephews", friends, etc. To my friends I would simply tell them the truth and recommend the guys because I don't care what they think! Obviously, a restaurant is not the same as a gay cruise, sauna, etc.

On 4/7/2024 at 11:03 AM, nycman said:

If your life is such that you can’t be seen out with a hooker….. don’t go out with a hooker.

No judgment. No shade. Just fact.

If you choose to go out with a hooker, you will be seen, you will be judged, and there will be shade….the question is, do you care?

How do they know he's a provider? Age difference? 

Would a discreet escort be equally embarrassed about being seen by a friend in a gay cruise, sex party, etc. with someone who just can't pass as a date/friend, etc.?

Edited April 8 by marylander1940

[Luv2play]

On 4/7/2024 at 11:03 AM, nycman said:

If your life is such that you can’t be seen out with a hooker….. don’t go out with a hooker.

No judgment. No shade. Just fact.

If you choose to go out with a hooker, you will be seen, you will be judged, and there will be shade….the question is, do you care?

Yeah. Look at all the trouble the former guy got from dating hookers. Stay tuned for the details that will start coming out after April 15 in a New York courtroom. 😛

[+ Pensant]

Years ago, I bumped into a young man with whom I’d shared many kinky role plays at my local 24-Hour Fitness. We just acknowledged one another.

[Ali Gator]

Whenever I run into a provider and he's with a girl, I always say "Your girl is lovely, Hubbel."

 

(just kidding)

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

I have run into and hung out with friend groups with former escorts and masseurs I've hired.  The only embarrassment I encountered is when I call a man by his working name (the only name I knew) while the rest of the group knows him by his real name.  I pass it off to the group as having trouble remembering names.  Once, the guy said to his friends "That's the name I use for massages".  No problems.  Live life and enjoy!  Just be out there socializing!

[BigNoiseDallas]

On 4/8/2024 at 10:08 AM, marylander1940 said:

Just hire per hour, get in, get off and get lost. Don't take them on a cruise with you if you think you might run into someone who knows you and he'll spread the word that you hire guys for sex and that terrifies you. 

I didn't interpret Andy768's comment that he would take the provider on a cruise -- I read it as asking if anyone had ever bumped into a provider at an unexpected place like a cruise -- that provider and client had booked the same trip completely independent of each other.

Along those lines, I found out that a (male) friend who lived in Houston had a fling with a (male) friend here in Dallas. I met the Houston friend through my sister, and my two friends didn't meet through me (can't remember how they met). Also, the Houston friend had once been married to a female staff member I knew from my volunteer work at a non-profit here in Dallas. Those overlapping circles were a little too cozy for me. 

[Andy768]

5 hours ago, BigNoiseDallas said:

I didn't interpret Andy768's comment that he would take the provider on a cruise -- I read it as asking if anyone had ever bumped into a provider at an unexpected place like a cruise -- that provider and client had booked the same trip completely independent of each other.

Along those lines, I found out that a (male) friend who lived in Houston had a fling with a (male) friend here in Dallas. I met the Houston friend through my sister, and my two friends didn't meet through me (can't remember how they met). Also, the Houston friend had once been married to a female staff member I knew from my volunteer work at a non-profit here in Dallas. Those overlapping circles were a little too cozy for me. 

Thanks for trying to clarify - I realize now how poorly I posed my question. I was actually wondering about running into any acquaintance (not necessarily a provider) at a place where you might quite literally be caught with your pants down. For context - I've never been to a clothing-optional resort, but the thought of running into a work colleague or someone in my field at one is pretty horrific to me. Of course I'd get over it, but I know it would be really uncomfortable.

When I was a student, there were two times I ran into professors when I'd rather not have. Once was at the YMCA pool and I think we were both very deliberately timing our workouts to avoid being in the open showers and locker room changing area at the same time. Another was in class - realizing that I'd hooked up with the professor sometime (months? years?) earlier. We had to have a one-on-one meeting in his office at some point for the course, and it was a huge elephant in the room that neither of us acknowledged. It was painful enough to go through that as a student; really don't want to have a similar experience as a fully grown man.

By the way, I've appreciated reading people's takes and stories even if they were more geared toward encountering providers, so thanks for sharing!

[Hot4latin]

Closest I've gotten is running into a co-worker virtually on Scruff.

[DWnyc]

People in law, management consulting and finance etc typically have code names for clients so if overheard confidentiality remains. They also never speak to clients if running into them publicly. Doctors do the same and will never talk about treatments or discussions in public without invitation.

Hobby rules should be the same.

 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

15 hours ago, Andy768 said:

For context - I've never been to a clothing-optional resort, but the thought of running into a work colleague or someone in my field at one is pretty horrific to me. Of course I'd get over it, but I know it would be really uncomfortable.

I've gone swimming naked when out on the lake with a co-worker (not during business hours).  It's not embarrassing if you own it!  My neighbor, who is also a co-worker, and invites me over on summer nights for a dip in his pool, both of us naked.  I've hooked up with someone, and at the end of the hookup he told me he knew me from work... We sat on a committee together.

I have no problems if I come across a co-worker or acquaintance at a clothing optional hotel, or at a bathhouse for that matter.  We're both there for the same reason!  If you're worried about rumors spreading that you attend these types of places, remember: Whoever saw you would have to admit they were at the same place if they told someone else about you.  So forget about it!