See me always, or see me never again

[viewing ownly]

Consistently, whenever someone I hire who I have a great time with reaches out on a return trip to my area and I say no, I'm put on the "no re-hire" list.

This to me seems extreme. I'm not made of money, so when a return is a month later, it's too soon for me to financially do so. It doesn't mean that I don't want to. 

I do appreciate that I was liked enough to warrant a repeat encounter, and I DO convey that in my rejection reply. Am I better off ignoring rather than responding that I can't?

I'm batting zero with re-attempting to see anyone who I said no to for a potential second encounter. Flipping the coin and responding to my own post, who would I rather spend time with, a wealthy man who tips extremely generously and money is no object and will see me any time I reach out, or a paycheck to paycheck person who leaves a standard gratuity?

[+ DynamicUno]

That is strange, I have declined booking a repeat when a provider returned to my area several times without them refusing future bookings.  I always said thanks for reaching out but I'm unable to book at the time, and feel free to reach out when they were in town again.  They've always been willing to book when they visited my area another time, and I'm not some high-rolling client.

Based on your recent posts you do seem to be having an unusual amount of difficulty navigating the hiring process.  I'm not sure why that would be the case if you've approached the situations as you've stated. 

 

Edited March 28 by DynamicUno
Missed a crucial "not"

[+ DrownedBoy]

That's not been my experience, and I doubt if any rational, profit-motivated provider would do that.

However, I never say "no." I say, "I'm out of town" or "I can't, but maybe next time."

I've had travelling providers text me every time they're in town, even if I haven't hired them yet, but only shown an interest. One guy came to Chicago 4 times before our schedules meshed. It turned out to be worth waiting for.

[DWnyc]

Providers aren’t always the most rational or strategic. Though I can see someone interpreting a “no” as “I didn't actually enjoy our session” and so determining you’re no longer a realistic prospect worth cultivating.

Not unlike the online hookup world where the etiquette seems to encourage ending on a positive note but it being acceptable to ghost / block the minute you walk out the door. 

Later in the month isn’t odd. I’ve even had providers reach out for later the same day if I’ve indicated I’ve enjoyed the experience - I don’t think they’re assuming you’re made of money as much as trying to monetize an apparently positive experience. 

[Occasional]

17 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

Consistently, whenever someone I hire who I have a great time with reaches out on a return trip to my area and I say no, I'm put on the "no re-hire" list. . . . I do appreciate that I was liked enough to warrant a repeat encounter, and I DO convey that in my rejection reply.

[my bold]

Strong word, "rejection".  In fact, a world away from "thanks but no thanks on this occasion".

And, you say that what you "convey" is appreciation that "you were liked" - not your appreciation of "what was provided".

Maybe the dominant flavour that comes across in your reply is that of "rejection", and that the "appeciation" is seen as perfunctory.

I feel that we need to see the exact wording of one of your rejection-replies to be able to offer you any further useful feedback.

 

 

[maninsoma]

3 hours ago, Occasional said:

[my bold]

Strong word, "rejection".  In fact, a world away from "thanks but no thanks on this occasion".

And, you say that what you "convey" is appreciation that "you were liked" - not your appreciation of "what was provided".

Maybe the dominant flavour that comes across in your reply is that of "rejection", and that the "appeciation" is seen as perfunctory.

I feel that we need to see the exact wording of one of your rejection-replies to be able to offer you any further useful feedback.

 

 

Yes, the devil may be in the details.  For example, there's a world of difference between:

"I am glad you liked me enough to reach out to me again, but I won't be hiring you."

and

"I really enjoyed our time together, but I'm not in a position to hire you during this visit."

Unless we're dealing with an extremely thin skinned escort, I don't see why the latter response would cause them to refuse a future booking.  The former comes across as a hard dismissal, so if the response is similar to that I'm not surprised that an escort would put the client in the "don't waste my time" category.

 

[+ DynamicUno]

2 hours ago, maninsoma said:

Yes, the devil may be in the details.  For example, there's a world of difference between:

"I am glad you liked me enough to reach out to me again, but I won't be hiring you."

and

"I really enjoyed our time together, but I'm not in a position to hire you during this visit."

Unless we're dealing with an extremely thin skinned escort, I don't see why the latter response would cause them to refuse a future booking.  The former comes across as a hard dismissal, so if the response is similar to that I'm not surprised that an escort would put the client in the "don't waste my time" category.

 

Considering the OP stated this has happened "consistently", it would appear he's had this happen with more than one provider.  If it were a one-off event I'd guess it was the provider's issue, but if it's happened multiple times it would appear to be something in the OP's manner of communication.  The OP's other posts indicate a pattern of difficulties communicating with providers, so I'd have to question if his overall approach is not clearly showing his interest or making him seem difficult to work with, or indecisive, or something more.

Edited March 28 by DynamicUno

[marylander1940]

22 hours ago, DynamicUno said:

That is strange, I have declined booking a repeat when a provider returned to my area several times without them refusing future bookings.  I always said thanks for reaching out but I'm unable to book at the time, and feel free to reach out when they were in town again.  They've always been willing to book when they visited my area another time, and I'm not some high-rolling client.

Based on your recent posts you do seem to be having an unusual amount of difficulty navigating the hiring process.  I'm not sure why that would be the case if you've approached the situations as you've stated. 

 

 

2 hours ago, maninsoma said:

Yes, the devil may be in the details.  For example, there's a world of difference between:

"I am glad you liked me enough to reach out to me again, but I won't be hiring you."

and

"I really enjoyed our time together, but I'm not in a position to hire you during this visit."

Unless we're dealing with an extremely thin skinned escort, I don't see why the latter response would cause them to refuse a future booking.  The former comes across as a hard dismissal, so if the response is similar to that I'm not surprised that an escort would put the client in the "don't waste my time" category.

 

Why wasting his time?

I simply don't reply and if I'm interested a year later and he's back in town I will reply to his message and schedule a new appointment. 

23 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

Consistently, whenever someone I hire who I have a great time with reaches out on a return trip to my area and I say no, I'm put on the "no re-hire" list.

This to me seems extreme. I'm not made of money, so when a return is a month later, it's too soon for me to financially do so. It doesn't mean that I don't want to. 

I do appreciate that I was liked enough to warrant a repeat encounter, and I DO convey that in my rejection reply. Am I better off ignoring rather than responding that I can't?

I'm batting zero with re-attempting to see anyone who I said no to for a potential second encounter. Flipping the coin and responding to my own post, who would I rather spend time with, a wealthy man who tips extremely generously and money is no object and will see me any time I reach out, or a paycheck to paycheck person who leaves a standard gratuity?

I think you're overthinking this issue. 

Just don't reply or say you don't have the money to rehire now but maybe on a next trip. 

[maninsoma]

1 minute ago, marylander1940 said:

 

Why wasting his time?

I simply don't reply and if I'm interested a year later and he's back in town I will reply to his message and schedule a new appointment. 

I think you're overthinking this issue. 

Just don't reply or say you don't have the money to rehire now but maybe on a next trip. 

The main reason to reply is a desire to continue to be given notice that he's traveling to your area again.  If you just ignore his text, he may assume you aren't interested in a repeat and will drop your number from his list of prospects.  Apart from that, I do what you do -- I simply don't reply to guys I've hired once and don't want to hire again, at least not in the moment.  I suppose if I really didn't like a guy, I'd reply and ask to be removed from his list of contacts.  But if I enjoyed myself I don't mind an occasional text, particularly if they include a some new photos, and then maybe I'll hire him again at some point (or maybe not).

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, DynamicUno said:

Considering the OP stated this has happened "consistently", it would appear he's had this happen with more than one provider.  If it were a one-off event I'd guess it was the provider's issue, but if it's happened multiple times it would appear to be something in the OP's manner of communication.  The OP's other posts indicate a pattern of difficulties communicating with providers, so I'd have to question if his overall approach is not clearly showing his interest or making him seem difficult to work with, or indecisive, or something more.

I have to agree. No offense to the OP but perhaps you're coming off (especially in text where there's no voice or facial expression) as far less interested than you are. I'm not wealthy and have had the exact same exchange you describe but never been blacklisted. The distinction may be that I aim to be very warm if I remain interested and cannot hire due to economics or a conflict. 

[nate_sf]

On 3/27/2024 at 8:05 AM, viewing ownly said:

Consistently, whenever someone I hire who I have a great time with reaches out on a return trip to my area and I say no, I'm put on the "no re-hire" list.

Just curious, but how do you know if you’ve been put on a “no re-hire” list? Did the provider tell you not to contact him again, or give some other indication that he won’t see you again? 

I’m just asking in case you might be reading more into this than intended. Hopefully that’s the case! 

[viewing ownly]

2 hours ago, nate_sf said:

Just curious, but how do you know if you’ve been put on a “no re-hire” list? Did the provider tell you not to contact him again, or give some other indication that he won’t see you again? 

I’m just asking in case you might be reading more into this than intended. Hopefully that’s the case! 

Generally, the ones I see passing through town are in high demand, which is what brings them back. I'm making the presumption I'm not in consideration on their end when my request by either massage website private message or e-mail goes ignored. 

I appreciate the ones that spell it out - "don't try to contact me here - I don't respond to private messages", and take their advice to not do so. It's more and more dwindling meeting people without texting, and that's my issue to accept. After all, there were staunch radio holdouts who didn't want TV in the 50s!

[+ KensingtonHomo]

16 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

I'm making the presumption I'm not in consideration on their end when my request by either massage website private message or e-mail goes ignored. 

I appreciate the ones that spell it out - "don't try to contact me here - I don't respond to private messages", and take their advice to not do so. It's more and more dwindling meeting people without texting

Okay, if you're emailing people and avoiding texting, there's a good chance they're not seeing your messages or by the time they do they're already booked. Most providers prefer texting, so if you're sticking to email, you're going to get left behind. 

[soloyo215]

On 3/27/2024 at 11:05 AM, viewing ownly said:

Consistently, whenever someone I hire who I have a great time with reaches out on a return trip to my area and I say no, I'm put on the "no re-hire" list.

This to me seems extreme. I'm not made of money, so when a return is a month later, it's too soon for me to financially do so. It doesn't mean that I don't want to. 

I do appreciate that I was liked enough to warrant a repeat encounter, and I DO convey that in my rejection reply. Am I better off ignoring rather than responding that I can't?

I'm batting zero with re-attempting to see anyone who I said no to for a potential second encounter. Flipping the coin and responding to my own post, who would I rather spend time with, a wealthy man who tips extremely generously and money is no object and will see me any time I reach out, or a paycheck to paycheck person who leaves a standard gratuity?

It's extreme and a terrible business practice to shut donw a client who has paid his due and tipped well simply because he's not available on queue. That attitude is terrible to have on both sides over the other. Even when I don't have the intent to rehire, I am polite and pleasant, and I don't need to lie or give excuses. A simple "I am not available at this time" should siffice. There have been times when I am not available for different reasons, not just financial, and I still use the same line. Some times I have added, "I'll reach out to you when I'm ready" or something similar when I want to actually reach out later when I can or want. I don't ignore providers I have received services from, and I've never gotten attitude from any.

If a provider is in high demand, I doubt the he's going to reach out to prospective clients blindly, as that seems to be more of an indication to the contrary.

I just never see the usefulness of nastiness or attitude, and I think that a provider placing a client in their no-rehire list over simply not being available at a given time is as bad as the client placing the provider in his no-hire list for the same reason.

I'm not a provider, but if I have a set rate for services, I can't care less for where the money is coming from, shouldn't matter if the money comes from this week's pay check, a trust fund, accumulated wealth or the welfare system. That's on the client to know where the money will come from. That's just me and my opinion, not law.

[+ keroscenefire]

I get reached out to a lot by escorts for return visits. I try to be pretty specfic if I can't hire them for monetary or time reasons and for the most part they still reach out to me again. In fact I will make that clear that I'd like them to reach out to me in the future particular if they are a travelling escort and most definitely do. If it's someone I genuinely don't want to meet again, I just ignore completely

[+ ThroatCummer]

Just be honest. Tell them exactly why you aren't able in that moment: "Thanks for the shout. I had an awesome time with you but money on my side is a little tight and I just can't this time around. But please let me know when you're back." 

That should work and any escort who is worth it will respond positively. 

[rvwnsd]

In 25+ years of hiring, I've never experienced this. Then again, in 25+ years of hiring I haven't "rejected" anyone. I've declined to hire for various reasons (out of town, budget didn't allow, I was tired or sick...) but have always said something like "Hey, thanks for letting me know you are in town. I'd love to get together, but I can't because [insert reason here]."