A fog of confusion over escorting vs. massaging?

[Decatur Guy]

Are other prospective clients finding it harder and harder to discern from a RM ad if someone is offering:

A) Just a massage?
B) Just escorting services?
C) A combo?

Sometimes, it's clear. But other times, I can't tell if I'm supposed to be reading between the lines or not. But in the past year, I'm having more situations where I'm wanting escorting services, not a massage. The ad gives me no indication at all that a massage (erotic or not) is on the table, yet when I reach out, I get quoted massage rates and the person is only offering massage. Now to be clear, some providers do indeed make that clear. Others don't, I'm finding. 

I realize providers more and more have to be careful about what they post in an ad, especially outside big blue liberal cities on the West Coast and the Northeast. But still, I'm stumbling on more and more situations where I can't discern at all from the ad what's really on the table, so to speak. I kind of wish massage-only providers wouldn't use RM as putting an ad on there just by itself starts to create confusion -- unless the ad is super clear it's just massage. For instance, don't tell me you're a top and show dick pics and in your into's put "spanking" and "oral" and other stuff and then turns out you don't do any of that.

Are other prospective clients find the same thing? More and more situations where you can't really tell what the ad is about or you find out after reaching out the services ain't what was listed or you are led to believe? I've just run into two different providers who indicate in their ads they do the full range, but when you contact them, it's just massage.

Edited January 28 by Decatur Guy

[pubic_assistance]

I would suggest you find someone you like.

Book a massage with them.

Leave a nice tip and then ...

ASK.

[topunderachiever]

A vaguely worded ad allows for flexibility.  The masseur gets to decide what THEY wish to do beyond a great massage.   

Edited January 29 by topunderachiever

[pubic_assistance]

2 minutes ago, topunderachiever said:

The masseur gets to decide what THEY wish to do during the session.  

Which is only fair.

Dealing with the general public and gentlemen walking in your door with no idea how repulsive they may be...you SHOULD have some ability as a provider to maintain some limits about how much poor personal hygiene and health you are willing to overlook.

[soloyo215]

Some providers want to keep it vague. I ask and get answers. It's always good to ask, anyway since there are some that are clear in the ad but not necessarily truthful.

[jmichaeliii]

I always look for erotic + good reviews and have never been disappointed.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

On 1/29/2024 at 1:03 PM, pubic_assistance said:

Which is only fair.

Dealing with the general public and gentlemen walking in your door with no idea how repulsive they may be...you SHOULD have some ability as a provider to maintain some limits about how much poor personal hygiene and health you are willing to overlook.

I agree with you on hygiene but I wonder if that has anything to do with vague marketing. Looking through Rentmen, some guys are very explicit. If a provider wants to curate their clientele for escort purposes, they should stick to Rentmasseur and then let those they're interested in know they're open to more. 

[PileDriver]

always a fine line. trips me up when a guy provides explicit pics and description then clutches his pearls when i suggest something more than a massage is possible...

[harlow]

On 1/30/2024 at 1:23 PM, jmichaeliii said:

I always look for erotic + good reviews and have never been disappointed.

I also make a determination by the type of pics to post as well. A pic with a wide open booty hole is a good indicator of possible offerings 😉

[soloyo215]

On 1/28/2024 at 5:16 PM, Decatur Guy said:

Are other prospective clients finding it harder and harder to discern from a RM ad if someone is offering:

A) Just a massage?
B) Just escorting services?
C) A combo?

Sometimes, it's clear. But other times, I can't tell if I'm supposed to be reading between the lines or not. But in the past year, I'm having more situations where I'm wanting escorting services, not a massage. The ad gives me no indication at all that a massage (erotic or not) is on the table, yet when I reach out, I get quoted massage rates and the person is only offering massage. Now to be clear, some providers do indeed make that clear. Others don't, I'm finding. 

I realize providers more and more have to be careful about what they post in an ad, especially outside big blue liberal cities on the West Coast and the Northeast. But still, I'm stumbling on more and more situations where I can't discern at all from the ad what's really on the table, so to speak. I kind of wish massage-only providers wouldn't use RM as putting an ad on there just by itself starts to create confusion -- unless the ad is super clear it's just massage. For instance, don't tell me you're a top and show dick pics and in your into's put "spanking" and "oral" and other stuff and then turns out you don't do any of that.

Are other prospective clients find the same thing? More and more situations where you can't really tell what the ad is about or you find out after reaching out the services ain't what was listed or you are led to believe? I've just run into two different providers who indicate in their ads they do the full range, but when you contact them, it's just massage.

This topic has come up several times. My policy is that no matter how vague or clear the ad is, I always ask, and I always ask because some of those ads that are "clear" are also inaccurate and false. Specificity does not mean truthful. Since I always ask, I ge the information I need and have expectations. The Rentmasseur website has the option for providers to specify if they provide erotic massages, but they themselves decide what that means or how far they go.

Also, some providers have basic information, but in the communication via text or call, they have also added that they offer additional services for additional charges. In addition, that communication has been provided in the session when/if things heat up a little. Finally, another way of getting a clue of how far a masseur could go is by checking if the provider also has an ad in rentmen or similar sites.

At first look might be confusing, as it was to me when I first started, but then I realize that some providers are more discrete in how they offer their services. There's never going to be a clear cut, very specific description of what's going to happen in a given session.

[Shawn Monroe]

Wow I never answered this. From my end it’s multi-fold.
 

Surely most of you have seen the “Massage Types I Offer” section of rentmasseur with the options “therapeutic” “sensual” and “erotic”. 

I have an idea, but I’m sure most people (outside the forum) don’t know the difference between “sensual” and “erotic”. So most providers will select all 3 so they show up in search results. 

also, sometimes clients aren’t always truthful. Some say they want a massage but they’re chasing you around the room in a few minutes. (This isn’t everyone!) 

ive even tried asking what site they found me on, but some have asked for massages off Rentmen and more off masseurfinder. 

last, as @Lance_Navarroonce said, the two go hand in hand. Many clients do want some of of both; the amount of both they want is a sliding scale. 
 

so as difficult as it can be to determine what someone is offering, it’s also difficult to determine what someone wants. The websites don’t make it easier. 
 

the best to do is ask if someone offers what you want. 

[Jamie21]

I agree with @Shawn Monroe. Clients can be very cagey about what they want, with it changing between when they book and when they turn up, or even during the session.

I’ve had clients book and expect a sensual massage only for them to ask for full service part way through. I think my advertising and pricing is clear, it includes erotic massage and everything short of ‘full service’. But that still doesn’t stop people wanting it during the session, even though I’m not offering an up sell during the session. Some want me to bottom but I’ve not prepared (nor charged) for that so I have to decline. 

All parties to the transaction should be clear about what is and isn’t included beforehand because it saves a lot of problems. That’s assuming it’s legally possible / safe to do so. Where I work it’s fine to be very clear so I always recommend clients to ask me if they really want anything included. 

[Marc in Calif]

On 1/28/2024 at 2:16 PM, Decatur Guy said:

Are other prospective clients finding it harder and harder to discern from a RM ad if someone is offering:
A) Just a massage?
B) Just escorting services?
C) A combo?

It seems to me that you are talking about only RentMen in your post. But if you're looking for a masseur (erotic or not), your best bet is to stay on RentMasseur.

On RentMasseur, there is no list of "intos" that might start your mind wandering to visions of a true escort situation. You'll know what the masseur is offering both from his ad and from any later communication you have with him before your appointment. 

Edited February 22 by Marc in Calif