How many weddings make a farce?

[+ purplekow]

I have two straight friends who are now working on marriage #4.   Both, married early, college or right after, and divorced quickly, both under 2 years.  They both then married for the long lasting duration, both around 11 years and both of them having their children doing these years.  The third marriage came at a particularly stressful time in each of their lives and had some durability but both ended after 5 to 6 years.  One of them, a woman, married again and seemed genuinely happy but her spouse is now developing dementia and I doubt, even if she is unhappy, that she will divorce him/. The other, a man, married the other day and notified the world on Facebook.   The couple had been living together for about 2 years and though based on Facebook pictures they look happy, they have moved away and he has seemingly disappeared into a marriage in which he is her husband and not much else.  

So how many marriages are too many?   Some here would probably say 1 is too many but I wonder if there are others that have a "if they want to get married let them get married" attiitude.  It seems to me that both of the people have had a much harder time with divorce then they did with the end of a non marital irelationship.  

I have been married once.  Widowed.  Would never get married again,

Does the sexual orientations of the couples matter?

[jeezifonly]

Too many for what?

So long as you remain firmly out of question as Executor, the most it can hurt is feelings if you call one by the wrong name. 

 

[samhexum]

1 hour ago, purplekow said:

I have two straight friends who are now working on marriage #4.  

Mickey Rooney:  "Amateurs!"

Elizabeth Taylor:  "I'll bet not a one was a senator or a construction worker!"

[Guest]

Live and let live. I do wonder whether those who marry multiple time really understand what marriage is and have the capacity to sustain it. Not advocating for or against it, just saying it requires a lot of personal fortitude.

[+ Charlie]

"Marriage" is a relationship that can be either legal or figurative. Many people rush to make it legal too quickly, and end up in what is really a so-called "trial marriage," from which it can be difficult to disentangle oneself. Unfortunately, social and religious custom, or one of the partners, often push a couple to make a legal commitment too soon. I am actually glad that same sex marriages didn't become legally possible until my partner and I had been together for forty-five years and were certain that marriage was right for us.

[samhexum]

11 minutes ago, Charlie said:

I am actually glad that same sex marriages didn't become legally possible until my partner and I had been together for forty-five years and were certain that marriage was right for us.

C'mon, be honest...  you were still in the running towards each other in slow motion stage of your relationship when you got hitched.

[+ purplekow]

6 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

Too many for what?

So long as you remain firmly out of question as Executor, the most it can hurt is feelings if you call one by the wrong name. 

 

Too many to believe that you are any good at it.  Each of these friends have had an emotional toll taken by the divorces and then they go and do it again and again and again.  When they are dating people, they seem to suffer much less anguish when the natural ending for the relationship comes about.  

[pubic_assistance]

12 hours ago, purplekow said:

So how many marriages are too many?   Some here would probably say 1 is too many but I wonder if there are others that have a "if they want to get married let them get married" attiitude.  

Marriage as a concept is too often associated with love. You can fall in love and want to stay with that person without getting married. Marriage primarily means you want/need to share WEALTH.

I married my wife because we started a family and NEEDED the legal protections of identity as a family where wealth is a consolidated entity not exposed to inheritance taxes in case of an unexpected death of one or the other of us. Does that sound like we forgot the romance? Well ..it probably does to some people. But my wife and I had several romantic relationships before we married...so we weren't blinded by all the fairytale feelings that many get lost in when they marry the wrong person.

I married my best friend.

I think too many people have unrealistic expectations of how marriage will guarantee their secure position to always be loved, cherished and valued without putting in the work to provide the same.

 

[marylander1940]

6 hours ago, purplekow said:

Too many to believe that you are any good at it.  Each of these friends have had an emotional toll taken by the divorces and then they go and do it again and again and again.  When they are dating people, they seem to suffer much less anguish when the natural ending for the relationship comes about.  

Do you know if they also hire escorts like most of us do? 

 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

15 hours ago, purplekow said:

So how many marriages are too many?

I would think at 6 or 7 marriages it starts becoming difficult.  Even Sister Wives stopped at around 4 or 5 marriages I think.  You would want to spend at least one night each week with each spouse to maintain the relationships.  More marriages than that and you could lose some intimacy and each marriage could suffer.

[+ poolboy48220]

I'm not concerned with how many times friends get married unless they expect a gift for each. And I've been guilty of calling one friend's current wife by the previous wife's name.