After Appointment Texts/Calls

[PKS]

Recently I've had a few massages where the massage went well and then, after a few days, the provider will start regularly following up via text trying to get me to book another appointment, one even called. After saying no a few times and still continuing to get texts, I've ended up blocking numbers from providers who I likely would have ended up making a second appointment with had they not been texting a lot. 

I guess it's a weird double standard that I expect them to be open to receiving my text whenever I am ready to book for another appointment but get creeped out when they're reaching out to me... but I don't like it! Has this happened to you? Thoughts? 

 

Edited December 13, 2023 by PKS

[ICTJOCK]

Let me say,  I do contact a client (especially a new one),  with a text after,  thanking them for booking me,  that I enjoyed the time and to please let me know if I can be of service again.    I text one time (only)  after the service.    I think it works,  I've never had complaints,  however I only have one text like that.

[jmichaeliii]

One time, and yes I agree with you.  I don't like that method, feels like stalking.

Now, I will send a text after a session to a provider if I had a good time and am interested in booking again sometime.  I do it mainly to see if there is a mutual interest, and if it is positive, I book again.  For one's I see regularly, I do it just to be friendly and let them know I appreciate their work.  

[jcmiami1]

I had this happen to me recently. This provider contacted me on Grindr (which I deleted too). We had a great time but proceeded to text me 3 times within the following week for another session - even after I told him I couldn’t. I ended up blocking him, it creeped me out. 

[PileDriver]

yep.prefer a first notice goes to RM. then onwards to text when acknowledged. once had a very young previous hire text me with explicit pictures about his current assignation in the Macy's bathroom...wanted mw to join in...really hot but also offensive and annoying...was in a business meeting at the time...thoughts?

[acks0104]

2 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

Let me say,  I do contact a client (especially a new one),  with a text after,  thanking them for booking me,  that I enjoyed the time and to please let me know if I can be of service again.    I text one time (only)  after the service.    I think it works,  I've never had complaints,  however I only have one text like that.

I think that's the way to go. I appreciate a "had a nice time, hope to see you in the future" kind of message after a session but it should definitely stop there if the client doesn't ask for more. I definitely find pushiness off putting.

[BuffaloKyle]

I've never been in that spot where a provider reached out multiple times to ask if I wanted to book another session. Maybe it's because I mainly hire guys who are passing through or when I go somewhere out of town. But if I had someone do that to me I'd reply back one time that I will let them know when I am looking to hire them again and leave it at that and not respond after that until I was ready.

[Shawn Monroe]

When I was first starting, I messaged every appointment thanking them and asking for reviews because it’s imperative to get reviews. 
 

i still reach out when I’m traveling, but after two trips I don’t hear back from them, I move to my “do not text” list until I hear from them. 
 

anything more is obsessive 

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, PKS said:

I guess it's a weird double standard

Yes. I agree.

[Simon Suraci]

Yes, it’s a double standard but that’s a client’s privilege to reach out if/when he is ready for another session.

It’s kind of like some of those marketing emails that are difficult, at times practically impossible to unsubscribe from. Sometimes the only thing you can do is block. Geez, I bought one shirt from one retailer and now they feel entitled to my attention and dollars forever.

It’s a bit different hiring providers, but the principle applies. After I thank him and send a note of appreciation and welcome to return, I leave him be.

When he’s ready, he will be back. Niggling won’t make him want to hire any sooner or more frequently - quite the opposite.

[Michael PhD]

29 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

Yes, it’s a double standard but that’s a client’s privilege to reach out if/when he is ready for another session.

It’s kind of like some of those marketing emails that are difficult, at times practically impossible to unsubscribe from. Sometimes the only thing you can do is block. Geez, I bought one shirt from one retailer and now they feel entitled to my attention and dollars forever.

It’s a bit different hiring providers, but the principle applies. After I thank him and send a note of appreciation and welcome to return, I leave him be.

When he’s ready, he will be back. Niggling won’t make him want to hire any sooner or more frequently - quite the opposite.

I would disagree on calling it a double standard. If one advertises a business and leaves a number for contacting and scheduling that does not constitute an agreement that the client is open to solicitation. 

[Simon Suraci]

Perhaps the term double standard is not the right one for this. 

48 minutes ago, Michael PhD said:

I would disagree on calling it a double standard

 

[BuffaloKyle]

The client is the "customer" and the one to initiate when they want to make another "purchase". You don't get a call from a barber asking are you ready yet for another haircut. Or your local Target asking are you coming to buy some more groceries soon. Or the Regal theater asking are you ready to come see another movie.

[+ DrownedBoy]

9 minutes ago, BuffaloKyle said:

The client is the "customer" and the one to initiate when they want to make another "purchase". You don't get a call from a barber asking are you ready yet for another haircut. Or your local Target asking are you coming to buy some more groceries soon. Or the Regal theater asking are you ready to come see another movie.

Have you checked your junk email lately?

[Guest]

I was thinking a better analogy might be your lawyer, dentist, doctor but as I think about it they call me all the time. So….

[Thelatin]

If I enjoyed it - and they are wanting me as a regular client, I negotiate a better rate. 
 

In sales I’m always reaching out to my customers trying to get the next sale. The better clients get a larger discount. 

Edited December 14, 2023 by Thelatin

[soloyo215]

7 hours ago, PKS said:

Recently I've had a few massages where the massage went well and then, after a few days, the provider will start regularly following up via text trying to get me to book another appointment, one even called. After saying no a few times and still continuing to get texts, I've ended up blocking numbers from providers who I likely would have ended up making a second appointment with had they not been texting a lot. 

I guess it's a weird double standard that I expect them to be open to receiving my text whenever I am ready to book for another appointment but get creeped out when they're reaching out to me... but I don't like it! Has this happened to you? Thoughts? 

 

Yes, but the providers who have done that have gotten the no when I've said it. Also, I am very clear. I state that at the time I'm not planning on another session, but maybe in the future, and that I will reach out to him when I'm ready. The provider has been respectful of my wishes, and I have reached out at a later time. Have you been that clear?

I had one who called me after, but he was interested in becoming my friend. I chatted a little with him, but also stated that there are certain times/days when I am not available for talking. We talked a few times after and the he just faded.

Today there are ways of dealing with pushy providers if they become pushy, but the most important thing is clarity and being specific about your boundaries.

[caramelsub]

20 hours ago, BuffaloKyle said:

I've never been in that spot where a provider reached out multiple times to ask if I wanted to book another session. Maybe it's because I mainly hire guys who are passing through or when I go somewhere out of town. But if I had someone do that to me I'd reply back one time that I will let them know when I am looking to hire them again and leave it at that and not respond after that until I was ready.

I’ve had providers reach out to me who were traveling from out of state, letting me know they will be visiting my city again. It is kind of annoying because I’m not always interested in hiring or have the money to hire. 

[PKS]

15 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

Yes, but the providers who have done that have gotten the no when I've said it. Also, I am very clear. I state that at the time I'm not planning on another session, but maybe in the future, and that I will reach out to him when I'm ready. The provider has been respectful of my wishes, and I have reached out at a later time. Have you been that clear?

I had one who called me after, but he was interested in becoming my friend. I chatted a little with him, but also stated that there are certain times/days when I am not available for talking. We talked a few times after and the he just faded.

Today there are ways of dealing with pushy providers if they become pushy, but the most important thing is clarity and being specific about your boundaries.

I have been that clear! One guy messaged me five times, the first two I replied politely saying that I don't book massages that often but I will definitely be in touch the next time I am looking. The third message I ignored. The fourth I asked if he could stop messaging and that I would be in touch when I'm ready. The fifth I blocked. It felt weirdly aggressive on his end and made me feel incredibly uncomfortable as his messages frequently came with photos and I never knew when I would be receiving them. 

[PKS]

23 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

Let me say,  I do contact a client (especially a new one),  with a text after,  thanking them for booking me,  that I enjoyed the time and to please let me know if I can be of service again.    I text one time (only)  after the service.    I think it works,  I've never had complaints,  however I only have one text like that.

I absolutely think this is totally fine! I always appreciate these texts (and am usually the one initiating them after receiving a great massage!). It's just when these messages are coming multiple times days and weeks after an appointment that I start to get uncomfortable. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I had a former regular who kept texting me. Last text went like this:

"So when are we meeting again?"

"If you haven't figured it out, never. I can't keep hiring an escort who never arrives on time."

[pubic_assistance]

I used a young fellow from Vermont for several years to do Thai massage. He would always message me to let me know when he'd be in NYC next.

I enjoyed his skills (and the extras) so I can't imagine being "annoyed" at him reaching out to book an appointment.

 

[jmichaeliii]

I find those messages to be fine especially if I reached out and missed someone in my area previous.   It's the ones that keep aggressively pursuing when you are clear about wanting them to back off.

[Guest]

On 12/13/2023 at 1:26 PM, ICTJOCK said:

Let me say,  I do contact a client (especially a new one),  with a text after,  thanking them for booking me,  that I enjoyed the time and to please let me know if I can be of service again.    I text one time (only)  after the service.    I think it works,  I've never had complaints,  however I only have one text like that.

I prefer this from a provider; it’s reassuring.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I think a single post-session text is nice. I don’t mind being asked for a review either or being informed that an out of town provider will be visiting. 
 

I don’t want to be “spammed” or get a weekly text, but a nice follow up or occasional outreach is fine with me.