UNWRITTEN RULES....

[+ nycman]

1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

what is a bumpkin

"an awkward and unsophisticated rustic"

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bumpkin

Unfortunately, what I think he meant to write was blumpkin….

"Portmanteau of blowjob + dump, with added suffix -kin in imitation of pumpkin."

"The act of performing fellatio while the recipient is defecating on the toilet."

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/blumpkin#:~:text=blumpkin (plural blumpkins),is defecating on the toilet.

i’m not providing a picture….cause, yeah, no. 

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, nycman said:

"an awkward and unsophisticated rustic"

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bumpkin

Unfortunately, what I think he meant to write was blumpkin….

"Portmanteau of blowjob + dump, with added suffix -kin in imitation of pumpkin."

"The act of performing fellatio while the recipient is defecating on the toilet."

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/blumpkin#:~:text=blumpkin (plural blumpkins),is defecating on the toilet.

i’m not providing a picture….cause, yeah, no. 

Thank you for educating me! I thought I was experienced in this industry but perhaps not…

And I really appreciate the lack of a picture. The one in my mind is enough. 

[Guest]

3 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Good question! I recall one time with a client who had just finished douching when I arrived. I half expected there to be a problem because of that…and indeed there was. So we just cleaned up and he said he’d do another douche. That didn’t help either! 

It has also happened to me when bottoming for a client so I’m totally understanding of the challenges. I think a good rule to have is to douche early enough because if you’re preparing just before the appointment it’s probably too late. There’s lots of advice on here about that kind of thing so I’m not going to repeat that here. What I will say is that ‘shit happens’ so no one should make a big deal about it. Usually if it’s just a little bit I clean off and carry on (but I’m not doing any rimming after that!). 

That happened to me once. Really embarrassed. The provider said no problem at all; occupational hazard. He shrugged it off and put me at ease. True professional.

[Guest]

Come to think of it, this same provider, knowing this was all new to me, spent an hour mentoring and reassuring me over breakfast. We were total strangers. He was very kind and thoughtful. Will not forget him.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

What do you guys do when a client is not prepared & hasn't done basic hygiene ?

"I'm bored...... why don't we go brush our teeth" 😂

As for clean up or clean out, I'm certain bottoms have their own set of unwritten rules 😜

[Simon Suraci]

4 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I may be naive here but what is a bumpkin? (Asking myself do I really want to know?)

It’s a blumpkin. Auto correct messed it up and I didn’t catch it, sorry. And no, honestly you really don’t want to know. Google at your own peril.

[Guest]

11 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

It’s a blumpkin. Auto correct messed it up and I didn’t catch it, sorry. And no, honestly you really don’t want to know. Google at your own peril.

Oh dear 😜

[Guest]

• if you go see a client who happens to be staying at a 5 star hotel I'd not wear a stringer. The vast majority of people I see greatly appreciate not drawing extra attention to myself or the situation 😃

.... I know it's  goofy that I'm even writing this but I have no shortage of stories about "he showed up wearing....." if there's dining plans the stringer will dictate where you dine 😜 

 

*even when it's requested ( to wear revealing clothes ) I never feel super comfortable checking in with a doorman. Someone's home ( no doorman ) no problem... I've knocked on doors nude and with a boner 😜

[Jamie21]

If on an outcall to a hotel, walk in as if you own the place. Look like you’re absolutely meant to be there. Understand where the lifts are (elevator to those who don’t speak the King’s English 😉) so that you’re not wandering around looking lost. Also know where the most discreet place to sit is if you’re requested to wait in the lobby, and know where the toilets are so that you can freshen up before meeting the client. If it’s a new hotel to you then it’s useful to scout the place out beforehand should the opportunity arise. 

[+ purplekow]

8 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

• if you go see a client who happens to be staying at a 5 star hotel I'd not wear a stringer. The vast majority of people I see greatly appreciate not drawing extra attention to myself or the situation 😃

.... I know it's  goofy that I'm even writing this but I have no shortage of stories about "he showed up wearing....." if there's dining plans the stringer will dictate where you dine 😜 

 

*even when it's requested ( to wear revealing clothes ) I never feel super comfortable checking in with a doorman. Someone's home ( no doorman ) no problem... I've knocked on doors nude and with a boner 😜

Hmmm   Knocking  on doors with a boner  Watch out for splinters.  " I am going to knock on your, tap on your window pane"

Intersting to read the unwritten rules.  Mostly, be considerate and then fuck like an animal. 

[Guest]

41 minutes ago, purplekow said:

Hmmm   Knocking  on doors with a boner  Watch out for splinters.  " I am going to knock on your, tap on your window pane"

Intersting to read the unwritten rules.  Mostly, be considerate and then fuck like an animal. 

Social grace's mostly. Be kind, look like your photos, keep your word, keep all your commitments, know what fork to use and DELIVER! Train your body, your intellect, and your morality with equal enthusiasm ☺️

[dbar123]

As a client, here’s one I’d like to add for provider tops- don’t take a dump in your clients bathroom. No one wants to smell that.

[+ Funguy]

On 12/7/2023 at 2:31 AM, Jamie21 said:

Good question! I recall one time with a client who had just finished douching when I arrived. I half expected there to be a problem because of that…and indeed there was. So we just cleaned up and he said he’d do another douche. That didn’t help either! 

It has also happened to me when bottoming for a client so I’m totally understanding of the challenges. I think a good rule to have is to douche early enough because if you’re preparing just before the appointment it’s probably too late. There’s lots of advice on here about that kind of thing so I’m not going to repeat that here. What I will say is that ‘shit happens’ so no one should make a big deal about it. Usually if it’s just a little bit I clean off and carry on (but I’m not doing any rimming after that!). 

Douching/shower attachments are an interesting subject - so many men do it wrong and are left with residual.  The best way to avoid a residual is to insert nozzle/attachment just part way, do not try to retain the water but let it just wash in and out and circulate until clear.  Wait a few minutes and repeat, being careful not to insert fully and again just let the water circulate.  If inserted all the way and retained to be expelled, a certain amount of the water will remain high up because of the valves in the rectum and will come out at just the wrong time.  By simply circulating the water, minimal, if any, is retained.

Hope this helps

[Guest]

31 minutes ago, Funguy said:

Douching/shower attachments are an interesting subject - so many men do it wrong and are left with residual.  The best way to avoid a residual is to insert nozzle/attachment just part way, do not try to retain the water but let it just wash in and out and circulate until clear.  Wait a few minutes and repeat, being careful not to insert fully and again just let the water circulate.  If inserted all the way and retained to be expelled, a certain amount of the water will remain high up because of the valves in the rectum and will come out at just the wrong time.  By simply circulating the water, minimal, if any, is retained.

Hope this helps

Massive shout out to those who have it down to a science 🧬 

[Jamie21]

Most of the time I don’t bottom but if I am going to then I use a shower attachment if it’s a filming session or I if know the top is big or I’m at a party. I then use a bulb about half hour before just to be confident really. Otherwise if he’s smaller or it’s a quick one then I just use the bulb.

I agree with @Funguy it’s a problem if water goes too deep when using the shower. I insert and count to 5 to avoid using too much water. That usually works ok. Diet also helps.

But even with a tried and tested routine sometimes things still go wrong! 

 

[Archangel]

On 12/7/2023 at 3:47 AM, Jamie21 said:

Keep records. Date, time, what the client liked (and didn’t like), what happened etc. Just brief notes, so that should the client book again, possibly years later, you know what gets them going.

I wish more providers did this. Even when you tell some providers what you like right before you meet, they act cluelessly when you do get together. Either they weren’t paying attention, or worse and more likely, don’t care.

[Archangel]

As a client, I have an unwritten rule, among many: if the provider talks about himself a lot, or has a way of turning what you say back to himself, he’s not a rehire. I deal with enough narcissists in my daily life to pay a guy who should catering to my whims to have to play therapist or cheerleader for him. I’m not paying to please his ego. 

[SouthOfTheBorder]

12 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

Massive shout out to those who have it down to a science

It’s about planning & knowing your body.  There could still be minor issues, but those are usually fixable in the moment with preparation 2-3 hours prior.  
I think it goes a long with providers understanding if they know there was an effort vs none at all.  

Hiring doesn’t come cheap - I don’t know why any client wouldn’t  prepare properly to get the most “bang for the buck” 

When I used to do hookups years ago & I was top - I always told the guys to take extra care with preparation because I’m exceptionally big. More than a gentle hint.  If there were any questions, it usually came up then.  I’m tolerant with these things - but I do expect basic hygiene. 

Fairly certain I was a provider in a previous life 

Edited December 9, 2023 by SouthOfTheBorder