UNWRITTEN RULES....

[Guest]

A couple of months ago there was some talk about interest regarding unwritten rules among providers.... it would probably be best if different folks chimed in with their own  unwritten rules... keep in mind that my unwritten rules are the accumulation of years of test market analysis that have gained people's trust and also rules that have probably helped me retain the pleasure seeking folks that repeat time after time and year after year... shall I begin? 

[foxy]

Well top of my unwritten rule is mutual respect. 

[Guest]

I'm probably going to be posting my unwritten rules one post at a time.....  and in no particular order.

[Jamie21]

I’ll chip in with mine. Treat each client as an individual, make it an intensely personal experience. 

[Guest]

My unwritten rules are not directions, are not instructions. These are just my personal opinions and views that have helped keep me busy time after time and year after year:

• I don't ask new clients what they do for a living or who they work for.

 

 I've learned that you want to make people feel comfortable and by asking personal questions, It has a potential to raise paranoia or an uneasy feeling since they really don't know me yet. 
I think people will share what they want to when they want to and when they feel comfortable. If I've been seeing someone multiple times, and their lifestyle makes me curious, I might and operative word is "might", ask them what it is generically that they do that allows them to live such a lifestyle. The very few exceptions that I've asked people who have held my interest,  I have never had any resistance when I pose the question in such a way and it's never the first time that I meet them. It's only after I've seen them a few times.

Edited December 6, 2023 by Vin_Marco

[Guest]

• I don't ask for the honorarium upfront and I never count the money in front of people unless they insist...

( in my opinion it makes the transaction less transactional, and it takes away the possible perception of mistrust ) 

 

 Like Kenny Rogers says, they'll be plenty of time for countin' when the dealings done  🤠 

[Jamie21]

Kenny Rogers! 👍….so while we’re on Kenny, you’ve also go to know when to walk away, and know when to run. That’s about knowing when to decline a potential client. 

[Guest]

58 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

Kenny Rogers! 👍….so while we’re on Kenny, you’ve also go to know when to walk away, and know when to run. That’s about knowing when to decline a potential client. 

💯 my man! 

[Guest]

•  Don't take selfies in the bathrooms and homes of clients to post on the internet without permission to do so...  it's common courtesy and it's also maintaining privacy. 

 

Edited December 6, 2023 by Vin_Marco

[Jamie21]

Never initiate contact with a client. The first contact is always down to the client and any messages sent are in response to client questions or requests. I always assume that the client wants 100% discretion from me.

Similarly if you see a client in public do not initiate contact, nor show any signs that you know them. Let them initiate any contact.

 

[Guest]

4 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

Never initiate contact with a client. The first contact is always down to the client and any messages sent are in response to client questions or requests. I always assume that the client wants 100% discretion from me.

Similarly if you see a client in public do not initiate contact, nor show any signs that you know them. Let them initiate any contact.

 

You're good @Jamie21 I like the way you operate 🙌🏽

[jeezifonly]

Shouldn’t unwritten rules be discussed on Zoom?

I mean, just to protect their status as unwritten.

How’s next Monday at 7:30PST for everyone? 

[Guest]

Just now, jeezifonly said:

Shouldn’t unwritten rules be discussed on Zoom?

I mean, just to protect their status as unwritten.

How’s next Monday at 7:30PST for everyone? 

With COM  being the exception... to help beginners learn from mistakes made by many and to help keep people happy on both sides of the fence. Consider this the "how to do it even better" thread 

[Guest]

Here's rule number everyday 😜: 

[+ nycman]

33 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

•  Don't take selfies in the bathrooms and homes of clients to post on the internet without permission to do so...  it's common courtesy and it's also maintaining privacy. 

 

I once told a friend….that hooker you hired last week posted selfies from your living room in his ad today. You might want to ask him to take them down. 

I thought I was being nice. My friend got mad at me. 

Unwritten rule…don’t discuss other’s hires, unless they bring it up first. 

Edited December 6, 2023 by nycman

[Guest]

6 minutes ago, nycman said:

I once told a friend….that hooker you hired last week posted selfies from your living room in his ad today. You might want to ask him to take them down. 

I thought I was being nice. My friend got mad at me. 

Unwritten rule…don’t discuss other’s hires, unless they bring it up first. 

The reason I don't post photos of myself in peoples homes without their permission is because I've been told about numerous accounts of people being caught that way.  I also know my audience, I know where not even think about it,  not even to ask and I also know who doesn't give a shit 🙂 

[Guest]

40 minutes ago, jeezifonly said:

Shouldn’t unwritten rules be discussed on Zoom?

I think they call that Chaturbate 😂

[+ BobPS]

5 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Kenny Rogers! 👍….so while we’re on Kenny, you’ve also go to know when to walk away, and know when to run. That’s about knowing when to decline a potential client. 

Same in the legal profession. If someone has seen several lawyers before they ask you to represent them, and those several lawyers refused to take their case, there is a reason!

Edited December 7, 2023 by BobPS

[Jamie21]

Keep records. Date, time, what the client liked (and didn’t like), what happened etc. Just brief notes, so that should the client book again, possibly years later, you know what gets them going. All GDPR compliant of course (for the non European’s that’s data protection rules 🙂). 

When you see lots of clients over time it’s easy to forget some or become muddled up with who is who, even to become a bit blasé about things.

But to some clients, if they don’t hire very often or especially if it’s their first time, their experience with you is a milestone and they’ll remember it vividly. If they come back then you really want them to feel that you remember them. Usually the notes are enough to remind me….’ah yes, he really likes head massage and he was going to the theatre after our booking: I’ll include more head massage and ask him if he enjoyed the show’. 

 

 

 

[Jamie21]

9 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

Here's rule number everyday 😜: 

Oh…I have leg month. Is that enough?  

[SouthOfTheBorder]

as a client, punctuality is very important.  More often than not, a provider is coming to me.  Things happen that can cause a reasonable delay once in while. If it's a pattern, then that's a problem. And if there is a delay, clear communication is helpful.

15-30 minutes is reasonable to wait. Anything more can impact whatever plans I have later that day/evening.

If I'm traveling to a provider, then the same holds true. But I'm really never late.  It's just basic courtesy when using professional services.  

[SouthOfTheBorder]

What do you guys do when a client is not prepared & hasn't done basic hygiene ?

I'm sure this happens with inexperienced people that aren't used to hiring.  Probably also happens w some providers too.  We're dealing with imperfect human bodies after all.

What is the suggested etiquette when things need to be cleaned up ? Does the session end or just a break ?

The listings on Hunqz really confuse me when some providers say their preference is "dirty".  Maybe is a cultural thing & misunderstood by Americans. It can't mean what I think it means ???

Not a subject that gets a lot of discussion, but something that everyone thinks about at some point.  I think it’s a basic unwritten rule that both provider & client arrive freshly showered & “prepared” as much as possible.  

I've encountered a provider or two with bad breath over the years and it’s an instant dealbreaker.  

 

Edited December 7, 2023 by SouthOfTheBorder

[Simon Suraci]

22 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

What do you guys do when a client is not prepared & hasn't done basic hygiene ?

I suggest we take a break and offer a shower, with the douching accoutrements if needed for our activities. It’s no big deal. I get first timers, straight guys, and less experienced men here and there. I walk them through it without shame or judgement. For those experienced but just having an issue, I suggest a break and they do their thing and we’re off to the races! Patience and understanding go a long way.

26 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

some providers say their preference is "dirty".

I get clients once in a blue moon who prefer me to be unwashed, “ripe”, and even want some #2. One client likes to give a bumpkin. It’s tough but possible. When the client works with me on schedule in order for me to meet their needs, it works out.

I don’t really understand a provider stating such a preference in a client. A good provider would not state such a preference if he had one. Maybe he means sweaty or natural smell? Even still, same logic applies. Clients have preferences, not the other way around.

[Jamie21]

48 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

What do you guys do when a client is not prepared & hasn't done basic hygiene ?

I'm sure this happens with inexperienced people that aren't used to hiring.  Probably also happens w some providers too.  We're dealing with imperfect human bodies after all.

What is the suggested etiquette when things need to be cleaned up ? Does the session end or just a break ?

 

 

Good question! I recall one time with a client who had just finished douching when I arrived. I half expected there to be a problem because of that…and indeed there was. So we just cleaned up and he said he’d do another douche. That didn’t help either! 

It has also happened to me when bottoming for a client so I’m totally understanding of the challenges. I think a good rule to have is to douche early enough because if you’re preparing just before the appointment it’s probably too late. There’s lots of advice on here about that kind of thing so I’m not going to repeat that here. What I will say is that ‘shit happens’ so no one should make a big deal about it. Usually if it’s just a little bit I clean off and carry on (but I’m not doing any rimming after that!). 

[Jamie21]

25 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

One client likes to give a bumpkin

I may be naive here but what is a bumpkin? (Asking myself do I really want to know?)