Assuming escorts are always hosting…

[Guest]

On 7/5/2023 at 1:36 AM, arnemgreeves said:

The escort also holds the right to provide the service how he sees fit, based on his own needs or will, as happens in any other business. Lots of escorts do outcall-only work, and if it suits them, fine. it's by no means as black and white as you're making it out to be.

Correct, but if I'm the one spending money I'm going to pick the one that fits my needs the best. This is your business you are allowed to run it as you see fit. This is my money, I am allowed to spend it as I see fit. Escorts will find clients that fit their needs or they won't make money. Clients will find escorts that fit their needs or they won't get laid. It is very straight forward and basic. This is a mutually beneficial transaction. Escorts and Clients each should put their needs first and if they won't be met than the transaction should not be completed.

This is business, plain and simple.

[NyGold]

If you’re looking to make some extra dollars while traveling anyway - it’s fair to question need to be prepared to host at every moment and to be opportunistic and only seek out convenient and biz savvy ways to make that extra $.

But if your road trips are really about selling on the road exploring new territories, taking a break from your home base if it feels saturated etc - you’ve got to adapt to local market conditions and be smart on cost drivers.

No one stopping you from doing whatever you want  - on deposits, total amount, hosting or not, charging extra for things like hosting etc - but what the market will tolerate is another matter. 

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

14 hours ago, NyGold said:

If you’re looking to make some extra dollars while traveling anyway - it’s fair to question need to be prepared to host at every moment and to be opportunistic and only seek out convenient and biz savvy ways to make that extra $.

But if your road trips are really about selling on the road exploring new territories, taking a break from your home base if it feels saturated etc - you’ve got to adapt to local market conditions and be smart on cost drivers.

No one stopping you from doing whatever you want  - on deposits, total amount, hosting or not, charging extra for things like hosting etc - but what the market will tolerate is another matter. 

 

Well I beg to differ on the “be able to host at any moment”. That’s just not realistic. And clients have to understand, when you’re dealing with providers online, it’s likely not realistic in every scenario.

Think of it this way: it’s not so much a problem that I am not willing to host. But, it’s just common courtesy to ask. Find out what is going on in that person’s situation.

And I know clients aren’t dumb. Many seem to play dumb for reasons I can’t fathom. If I were to flip the tables, which I always end up doing: 99.9% of clients would never, ever, hardly ever ever ever…ever ever ever…ever ever ever…

 

…Be able to host on a moments notice. Even when I sent out my “hey I’m in town/available” message to clients who CAN host, Most always have reason about family, dog, work, neighbor, alien visit, etc etc and are never ready to host. They say: “next time give me a little more notice.”

 

So do we not deserve the same consideration? Yes. I know that goes against stereotypes and expectations. But like someone said: it’s not always to be assumed 24/7 written in stone that hosting is going to be readily available at all times, just because my ad is up.

On 7/4/2023 at 12:12 PM, BiDude420 said:

This guy is a cheap client, full stop. HOWEVER...

To be fair, most potential clients are going to want you to host. Some of them are cheating, so they can't have you at their place and they can't risk having a hotel bill show up on their credit card/banking statements. OR, they want to be discreet/DL and don't want guests attracting attention at apartment. Incalls are their only option. Not to mention, many escorts do just hang around in hotel rooms waiting for clients. 

The client is paying to have their needs met at their convenience. It is fantasy fulfillment. They're main consideration is themselves. That is kind of the whole point of paying for sex, it is an easy way to meet their needs without having to meet someone else's. If they were interested or capable of that they would be dating. 

 

that’s true but, there’s a difference between paid client wanting fulfillment, and selfish inconsiderate clients who want to barge into someone’s private location at the last minute. Not saying this guy did that, but many do. And my blocked client list is chock FULL of numbers who had no decency or respect to book a session, instead of texting, “U avail now, to host?” Then they either don’t show up, or flake, or some other crap which is the reason I don’t like to gamble on hosting in the first place.
 

On 7/4/2023 at 6:38 PM, Luv2play said:

I am probably the non-typical client. I host over 90 percent of the time.  Usually hotels which are at least 4 stars so very nice ambience. 

When it's at my place its at least a one hour drive for the escort and often 2 or 3 hours. Often they are on their way to another destination on their tour and an overnight at my place suits them fine.

So I don't run up against the situation Jarrod does. I can see his point of view though but don't have suggestions on how to overcome his problems.

That’s a good start. In fact, just yesterday I had a client who booked a 4 star hotel for us, even let me arrive early to freshen up and workout while he handled his affairs of the day. It was…everything done right for once this month 😂 

 

originally I was going to host him, but he  settled on hotel instead…It was very convenient because whenever I get a hotel to host in my home town, I stay there myself for the night. Which often means foregoing any plans at home I may need to catch up on. 
 

In this case, I was able to take care of errands in downtown and do outcall to his hotel, then head home at night. And the next day, got to work on projects. 

On 7/5/2023 at 10:08 AM, marylander1940 said:

Most escorts have a place where they host, and if they have roommates or simply can't host at the moment, they focus their early earnings to save money to get a place to host. 

Considering most clients want discretion and some are married to men or women who don't know they hire, hosting or the ability to do it is a huge part of the business.

Answering @Jarrod_Uncut's question, we shouldn't assume ALL escorts host WHEREVER they go. For instance, I know an escort who visited friends in Reno, slept in their sofa and did a couple of outcalls around the free time he had while vacationing. Some escorts because of personal circumstances like being comfortable with life as it is, having roommates, etc. prefer not to do in calls but again they're certainly leaving money on the table....

I’m not going to elaborate on my situation and why hosting isn’t necessarily always available 24/7, 365 days a year, like a red light district. But as I said above: it’s more to it.

It’s not about NOT having funds to have a place. It’s moreso: I’m not going to be spending money recklessly if I’m in a different area, if I can instead save until I have a serious inquiry. Or at the very least: even if I’m not booking a room for 1 client, the industry has a way of going good or going slow all at once.

If I’m having more than 1 or 2 clients booking steadily, I know I’m in a good flow. But if it’s just dead, and I booked a room the past couple days and nobody hasn’t even reached out to me by noon on day 3: I’m not going to keep throwing more money away on a hotel. I’m going to reach out to friends and see if I can be a guest.

Those guys who be waiting around for clients and hosting, be scamming them half the time. I know for a fact because I hear it from my new clients all the time. And I seen these guys personally do it. They go to the “available now” guy who’s hosting, right now, and get ripped off. Because they couldn’t tell a Dick from their ass, metaphorically speaking lol. 

 

On 7/5/2023 at 11:59 PM, rvwnsd said:

No one, client or escort, should assume anything. Unless your profile says "I can't host" it is perfectly reasonable for a client to ask if you can host. It is also perfectly reasonable for you to say "sorry, I can't host" and leave it at that.

My approach is to articulate what I like to do, the area in which I am staying (Hilton Union Square, Hilton Financial District, etc) or live (Downtown Phoenix) and whether I can host. Case in point. I recently traveled to Santa Cruz, CA for a wedding and I wanted to hook up with an escort. I told him I could travel to him in San Francisco or host in Santa Cruz. He very politely stated he could not host and did not have a way to travel to Santa Cruz.So we didn't meet. No harm, no foul, no drama.

And when I was in San Francisco last year: I hosted the entire Thursday thru Tuesday I stayed there. But I only had clients come to my hotel ONE DAY: that was Sunday. But Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Monday were either outcalls or nobody showed up serious. In fact Saturday night, I was out with friends and slept in Berkeley, and had to call my hotel to charge my card because I wasn’t going to be back before checkout time 😂 

Funny now but, looking back that was a waste of money. I should only have to spend on hotels as needed…granted: I don’t like to stay with people or feel obligated to stay with friends. I honestly hate that. I like my privacy, cleanliness and independence AND…The ability to see clients.

The only reason I wasn’t able to in the original post: it was Nashville: it’s overpriced for hotels and business there is trash 🚮. The scene has become flooded with sex workers in the past years and it’s no longer a market to expect steady business flow.

23 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Most problems with hookups or paid meetings are caused by misunderstandings through poor communication. It’s rarely intentional although it might feel like that it’s almost always because something has been assumed or something has been missed by accident. 

I get clients assuming all sorts of things even though I think it’s clear on my profile and website. I get a few who contact me thinking I’m female…imagine the surprise they’d get if I didn’t correct them and they turned up at my studio for a massage? Although I reckon I could turn them once they get on the table 🙂
 

Exactly, communication is key. Not: assumption is key ☝

15 hours ago, BiDude420 said:

See the thing is, OPs page has lots of instructions about incall. There is no language about being unable to host all the time. The website suggests that OP is available to host incall most of the time with 2 hours notice. You can't advertise same day incalls and get upset when clients contact you expecting same day incall. 

The simple solution is to put *Not available for same day incalls* on the ad website. If hosting an incall with two hours notice is a problem, then don't advertise like it isn't a problem. 

 

That does not apply to every day, week or city. And: just to be clear, I DID offer to meet this client on an incall BUT…

#1: He didn’t want to send deposit

#2: He wanted to be on my standby list, which is basically IF another client books me and I’m already hosting

#3: When I tried to offer to meet him, I did inform him the motel wouldn’t be upscale because the prices and availability in the area, he got an attitude and said he “wasn’t comfortable”. That’s when I said…well you’re welcome to get a room, if that’s the case. I didn’t post that text…

And then when I informed id be able to host in a better area because the availability of rooms changed a couple days later, he was busy/didn’t reply back.

So…I’m just like fuck the bullshit games. Nobody, especially me, has time for that.

8 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

This is true in principle. Though escorts can choose what services they provide and how it's provided. Like in all other industries, providers can choose how it's provided as long as there is a market for it. There are many options out there and they can choose whom they feel comfortable with, and who matches their own needs/tastes. 

Bingo! 

Edited July 7, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Guest]

5 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Well I beg to differ on the “be able to host at any moment”. That’s just not realistic. And clients have to understand, when you’re dealing with providers online, it’s likely not realistic in every scenario.

You have to realize is there are escorts who do kind of offer this. 

Quote

That does not apply to every day, week or city. And: just to be clear, I DID offer to meet this client on an incall BUT…

If that's the case then you should change the language on your website. It makes it seem like you can be available pretty quickly. If you don't want to deal with this, just say "same day appointments not available" and "incalls require advanced deposit" on your website and ads. You have to be more clear about what you offer and what your boundaries are. 

Also, try sticking to your guns. Its your business, but if you start negotiating with potential clients you start dealing with cheap clients and turning off good clients.

Figure out what you can actually offer. Figure out a way to communicate it clearly. Shut down any attempts at negotiation or pushing your boundaries. Turn your booking process into a procedure with clearly defined steps and put this procedure on your website. Any prospective client that fails to follow the procedure gets screened out immediately. The interactions you have with people that eventually do become clients will become more pleasant as well.

[DWnyc]

I don’t understand …. 

If you can host you will, if you can’t or decide selectively you don’t want to, you won’t. The localized market in your circumstances will respond accordingly,

What else are we talking about here? 

[DWnyc]

On 7/4/2023 at 1:12 PM, BiDude420 said:

 

The client is paying to have their needs met at their convenience. It is fantasy fulfillment. They're main consideration is themselves. That is kind of the whole point of paying for sex, it is an easy way to meet their needs without having to meet someone else's. If they were interested or capable of that they would be dating. 

And to add, most clients who expect the provider to host are incorporating the cost and effort of securing the venue into the rate agreed. So if the quoted rate is at what the client believes is market (including hosting costs) and there is then expectation for him to arrange a venue without a rate adjustment, the economics changes. I don’t know if hourly or cheap motels are an option in @Jarrod_Uncut’s geographies but in places like NYC and DC that’s a coin toss on who is absorbing $300+ for a last minute booking. 
 

 

[TorontoDrew]

I assume a provider can host unless they say they don't.  I think that's fair. They need to be clear they can't in the ad so I can determine if its worth the extra cost.

Edited July 7, 2023 by TorontoDrew

[DWnyc]

On 7/6/2023 at 8:23 PM, arnemgreeves said:

This is true in principle. Though escorts can choose what services they provide and how it's provided. Like in all other industries, providers can choose how it's provided as long as there is a market for it. There are many options out there and they can choose whom they feel comfortable with, and who matches their own needs/tastes. 

But if they restrict those matching “their own needs/tastes” in such a way that means they’re not making the margin they want, or are acting contra to their own stated policies, and reserving the right to be whimsical  … there isn’t really much that can be done on the magic wand front to get them where they feel they should be. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 7/7/2023 at 9:28 AM, BiDude420 said:

You have to realize is there are escorts who do kind of offer this. 

If that's the case then you should change the language on your website. It makes it seem like you can be available pretty quickly. If you don't want to deal with this, just say "same day appointments not available" and "incalls require advanced deposit" on your website and ads. You have to be more clear about what you offer and what your boundaries are. 

Also, try sticking to your guns. Its your business, but if you start negotiating with potential clients you start dealing with cheap clients and turning off good clients.

Figure out what you can actually offer. Figure out a way to communicate it clearly. Shut down any attempts at negotiation or pushing your boundaries. Turn your booking process into a procedure with clearly defined steps and put this procedure on your website. Any prospective client that fails to follow the procedure gets screened out immediately. The interactions you have with people that eventually do become clients will become more pleasant as well.

I appreciate the suggestions but one thing you should know is: Many contacts do not read my profile, let alone my website before contacting. I usually have to refer them to it, and not in a rude way but: just making sure they have seen more than just pictures and a number. Also, it explains everything laid out, which is better than explaining it myself. I’ve also had  in my ad for awhile, that deposits and advance notice is needed for incalls.

That said: I have updated some wording on my site and ad regarding incalls. I’ve made it clear that same day hosting may not be available. Whether I do or don’t, deposit will be requested. 
 

I also find most reasonable clients know, that it’s better to try to arrange something ahead versus same day. If trying to arrange an incall, it’s just basic courtesy. I have even told people sometimes, would you be ready if I texted you unexpectedly for me to come over? 100% of the time it would be no. So, try to understand it may be the same for a provider. “Available now” does not guarantee or promise hosting. Think of hookup apps, or even bars and clubs. Lots of available people, but no guarantee that available person is going to be able to bring you home/go to your place. That’s just life. 
 

There’s no need to gaslight sex workers into believing they SHOULD be able to do whatever suits the client at the moment: A decent guy would find a compromise and make it work.  Like the saying goes: “get a room” 😂 
 

I’m sorry that all escorts aren’t able to cater to every need and every demand at any hour of the day and week. That’s stereotype. Sorry to disappoint some, that we may be similar to regular people, who need regular notice, and regular planning to meet.

Of course, same day hosting bookings are great when they can work. I took one the other night, since I was already hosting a booking made in advance, from earlier in the day. But that’s not a default offering that I can do often.

Edited July 18, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[NyGold]

I’m still rather baffled as to what this post was about 

no one trying to gaslight the OP - if anything the other way around

The op doesn’t need validation from readers here - if his business model works since his instincts and policies are, he believes, appropriate for the market he is in, no further validation needed.

 

[jeezifonly]

Have visited your page, @Jarrod_Uncut

The assumption is not based on nothing. Your deposit requirement does make a specific reference to your hosting, as do other written points in your Menu.
 

Maybe update your page(s) to reflect your current status, as in or out call? Or respond with location limitations in first reply to a reach out text. Less time wasted, I guarantee you. 

 

[jeezifonly]

7 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

Seems he's venting, and it's legitimate. Escorts tend to get many problematic clients. 

New here? 🤭

[LaffingBear]

Perhaps things have changed

If I was traveling, had a hotel room, I preferred the escort visit me. I felt more confident about security, environmental cleanliness, comfort, etc. 2023, I'd also feel more secure that there weren't hidden cameras recording our session.  

If it was in my home region of San Francisco, I preferred to visit the rentguy.  In hindsight, I was with a lot of visitors, so they likely had a place.  Plus, I reside in suburbia.. most guys weren't interested in the extra 40-60 minutes each way, or wanted extra $$.  While the travel time charge wasn't unreasonable itself, it put the total encounter over my "willing to pay for initial meet" threshold; i.e, take a chance on first meet at $200 or $300?... OK,  at $450 or more with travel?... nope.  Plus, I never wanted a first timer in my home. (I made 3 exceptions to that rule, and one turned out badly).

I guess I assumed visitors had a place.  But I always clarified before booking. 

[+ nycman]

2 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

the OP can vent all he wants

And does regularly like Old Faithful….

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 7/19/2023 at 12:05 AM, NyGold said:

I’m still rather baffled as to what this post was about 

no one trying to gaslight the OP - if anything the other way around

The op doesn’t need validation from readers here - if his business model works since his instincts and policies are, he believes, appropriate for the market he is in, no further validation needed.

 

The whole point was: based on the message I referenced, he had stated: “I thought you were in a hotel all this time”.  Thought.

Not, “I said”. But rather.: “Thought”. Let that sink in for a minute…and you’ll understand. 
 

Who told this person that? That goes beyond the issue of who can and can’t host…that’s simply making an assumption based on, what? Just because an escort is visiting a city isn’t a guarantee that the person is in a hotel hosting.

For example, earlier this year: I drove from San Diego to Arizona via the I-10. I had LA, Palm Springs, and Phoenix as cities to pass by. Non of those places did I host or have a hotel set up. Why would I? There was nobody booked in advance, and Arizona was my destination. If somebody texted and assumed I was in a hotel: I would be like, who told you that? 

Now if a client was hosting, I would have likely been willing to go to their location instead. 

My website/profile never says that I am here waiting at a hotel for you right now. It says a deposit is needed to book an in-call session. Period. That is likely to allude either it’s by appointment only, or it’s not necessarily readily available unless confirmed. 
 

Like I said, the person mentioned didn’t want to pay deposit to begin with. He was hoping to get on my standby list, which is basically: I see someone if I’m already hosting that day. But that’s if I even have client scheduled that day to begin with. Meanwhile, there was no point in me spending money on a room without anyone on schedule for that day. So I made alternative arrangements.

Edited July 21, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 7/19/2023 at 4:21 PM, LaffingBear said:

Perhaps things have changed

If I was traveling, had a hotel room, I preferred the escort visit me. I felt more confident about security, environmental cleanliness, comfort, etc. 2023, I'd also feel more secure that there weren't hidden cameras recording our session.  

If it was in my home region of San Francisco, I preferred to visit the rentguy.  In hindsight, I was with a lot of visitors, so they likely had a place.  Plus, I reside in suburbia.. most guys weren't interested in the extra 40-60 minutes each way, or wanted extra $$.  While the travel time charge wasn't unreasonable itself, it put the total encounter over my "willing to pay for initial meet" threshold; i.e, take a chance on first meet at $200 or $300?... OK,  at $450 or more with travel?... nope.  Plus, I never wanted a first timer in my home. (I made 3 exceptions to that rule, and one turned out badly).

I guess I assumed visitors had a place.  But I always clarified before booking. 

I find it’s very dependent on location at times. For example in San Diego, I was only doing outcalls mainly, but would host if someone booked and sent a deposit. I had a place to stay already that I was able to to do Outcalls from. I wasn’t about to spend  $100-$200 on a room to sit around and gamble that a client would show up. I did luck out one night, where I was needing a room for personal reasons, and a guy just happened to text me moments of me arriving to the hotel. In that case, I said come on thru. I’m ready in 45 minutes.

However, all my other bookings ended up being outcalls anyway. The couple nights I booked a hotel in San Diego, either nobody contacted or I didn’t have anyone confirmed.

I also booked a room for at least 3 nights in Temecula area, only one client showed up and I ended up having to send him home because he claimed to forgot the funds. Luckily I have hotel points to front in between, for situations like that. Also had other reasons for being there. 

So yeah, to anyone who doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t just be hanging out in a hotel all day everyday when in a city: that’s your answer right there. All of that up above. I don’t have to necessarily post Play by Play, Day by day details on whether I’m hosting that day or not. That’s the whole point of the deposit and booking stuff in advance. Because you’re not going to know what someone’s situation is day by day regardless of what they post in the ad.
 

People just have to stop thinking that escorts are hotels themselves. No, I’m not a hotel with 60 rooms. Think of me as renting a 1 bedroom air bnb 😂 

Edited July 21, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jason Dutch]

My hosting ability is constantly changing, especially with location. Nothing sucks worse than booking three nights in a hotel in a city and not getting any genuine inquiries or dates until you’re about to check out and down $500. Over time I have learned which cities are generally worth my while/investment of time and costs and make bookings accordingly. I do wish there were more hourly hotels around anymore, scuzzy though they can be.

 

in any case, I almost always ask “can you entertain or would you like to come to me?” Within the first few messages if they seem serious. Most of the time guys are not able to host no matter where you are.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

6 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

You’re not obligated to read sir. Funny wise men assume the world must meet their liking. Like i love how self-professed wise men don't get rudiments of human engagement. like you don't control your own perceptions. loool. by your logic, if i hate the colour green i can extinguish all green everywhere - IT VIOLATES IT TASTES!!

 

Thanks for having my back, but I’ve already expected anytime I have a discussion: somebody is going to say something that has nothing to contribute to the topic. They simply file as complaints. But, it’s always nice when someone busts their bubble…and reality sets in: 

Edited July 21, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, Jason Dutch said:

My hosting ability is constantly changing, especially with location. Nothing sucks worse than booking three nights in a hotel in a city and not getting any genuine inquiries or dates until you’re about to check out and down $500. Over time I have learned which cities are generally worth my while/investment of time and costs and make bookings accordingly. I do wish there were more hourly hotels around anymore, scuzzy though they can be.

 

in any case, I almost always ask “can you entertain or would you like to come to me?” Within the first few messages if they seem serious. Most of the time guys are not able to host no matter where you are.

Definitely facts. That’s exactly why I’ve come to plan things around confirmed bookings. I did the book 2-3 days in a hotel thing before having anyone confirmed, more times than I can count:  I’d be a fool to keep doing that. Nowadays I only book ONE NIGHT (maybe 2 max if I traveled far, and not feeling moving the next day) at a time when traveling. It’s day by day. If a client doesn’t hit me up by noon next day, preferably a couple hours before that: I’m checking out or going elsewhere. I have no guarantee paying for an extra night is going to earn me anything, without a deposit…. Or at the least, a steady flow of clients.

I usually find: 2 to 3 days is ample time to see everybody who’s available in a given period of time in a city (though in San Diego earlier this year, I went an entire week before my first client and then another week for my 2nd client 🫤 luckily I had friend’s spare room. 

All the stragglers who reach out at 11:30, 12, 12:30: Knowing that’s usually an hour that visitors maybe checking out of hotels, will have to send a deposit immediately for another night, or be ready to show up asap. Had that in Dallas couple months ago. I had the hotel ALL DAY MONDAY Memorial Day. What does he do? Contact me at 11:30 a.m. Tuesday as I’m walking out, asking to come over. I told him: book a room if you can’t host. I’m checking out. 

I also don’t rely on who all may be available to plan my trip either. Long as I have 1 confirmed client for a decent number, all else will come together. That’s why I ask $300-$400 majority of times I host. So if I only have 1, at least I have made back the hotel and money earned.

Edited July 21, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[marylander1940]

On 7/7/2023 at 12:24 PM, TorontoDrew said:

I assume a provider can host unless they say they don't.  I think that's fair. They need to be clear they can't in the ad so I can determine if its worth the extra cost.

Besides not being able to host cut their chances of making more money considering most clients prefer to travel..

[Jarrod_Uncut]

2 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Besides not being able to host cut their chances of making more money considering most clients prefer to travel..

Not necessarily. Hosting could mean spending more money. That would only apply if the escort straight up said: “I can’t host”. 
 

In my home city, I do host….by appointment only and when clients confirm. So I still get to see those clients. However, the ones who can’t plan more than 15 minutes in the future, never see me because I’m not just hanging outside of my door at the bathhouse, waiting for them to come over when I never expected them to come over to begin with 🤷🏾‍♂️ 

[marylander1940]

50 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Not necessarily. Hosting could mean spending more money. That would only apply if the escort straight up said: “I can’t host”. 
 

In my home city, I do host….by appointment only and when clients confirm. So I still get to see those clients. However, the ones who can’t plan more than 15 minutes in the future, never see me because I’m not just hanging outside of my door at the bathhouse, waiting for them to come over when I never expected them to come over to begin with 🤷🏾‍♂️ 

Sometimes you have to spend money to make money.

Obviously it doesn't apply to all markets

[marylander1940]

On 7/19/2023 at 2:21 PM, LaffingBear said:

Perhaps things have changed

If I was traveling, had a hotel room, I preferred the escort visit me. I felt more confident about security, environmental cleanliness, comfort, etc. 2023, I'd also feel more secure that there weren't hidden cameras recording our session.  

If it was in my home region of San Francisco, I preferred to visit the rentguy.  In hindsight, I was with a lot of visitors, so they likely had a place.  Plus, I reside in suburbia.. most guys weren't interested in the extra 40-60 minutes each way, or wanted extra $$.  While the travel time charge wasn't unreasonable itself, it put the total encounter over my "willing to pay for initial meet" threshold; i.e, take a chance on first meet at $200 or $300?... OK,  at $450 or more with travel?... nope.  Plus, I never wanted a first timer in my home. (I made 3 exceptions to that rule, and one turned out badly).

I guess I assumed visitors had a place.  But I always clarified before booking. 

Based on where you live you have no choice but to travel because even if you "uber" them to you some escorts might be skeptical about a long commute to the suburbs that might take almost 3 hours of their time. What if that's their lucky day and they miss another appointment because of travelling so far and not being able to pick up the phone. 

I know a local DC escort who only goes to San Francisco when another escort friend of him wants him to house sit for him and on every trip he gets "Ubered" to Los Altos or Palo Alto for a multiple hour appointment. We're talking about $100 Uber ride each way sometimes, but folks are happy to pay for convenience. 

Back to subject obviously, hotels in San Francisco are very expensive and some escorts would rather crash on a friend's sofa and doing only outcalls instead of investing money in a hotel or Airbnb. 

Edited July 22, 2023 by marylander1940

[DWnyc]

I don’t assume anything about a provider. And so many providers have info that is incorrect, outdated, not relevant apparently because they are traveling but haven’t updated their info etc, Sometimes they keep things vague or undisclosed to lure in enquiries, much as we hear apparently it is so annoying to ask basic questions as might be expected in a customer facing business. And I’ve lost track of how many times a provider has said something like “it’s in my profile” when it isn’t or worse “can’t you read?” When there is nothing there on that subject. It brings out the contempt for clients and unwarranted self importance one segment of providers might harbor. 

if it’s not clear whether a provider hosts, i ask, and if their situation doesn’t work, I move on. If mine doesn’t for them, they can too. And if such an unoccupied question along with others like it brings out an attitude - another reason to just move on. 

can’t see why this is such a huge issue for anyone. 

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

3 hours ago, DWnyc said:

can’t see why this is such a huge issue for anyone. 

 

The issue is: people need to be prepared to do both if they want to meet someone for sex. Stop relying on 1 person (namely, the escort) to do it all. Be ready to travel AND be ready to host. There’s $60 hotels in most any city. Not many, and hardly non in some areas but: Some accept cash. I highly doubt it’s going to send a client to the poorhouse, to get a hotel. I know that sounds ironic, considering the topic: but it’s true.

For most of my escort time: Including when I first started, I have ALWAYS offered to host AND travel. I always kept a vehicle for Outcalls and always booked a hotel or had an apartment. I have accommodated above and beyond. 
 

However, I am not Superman who has endless money to spend…especially these days. Hotels are higher, rents are just ridiculous. I am also finding some cities/ states are harder to get approved with escort money than others. In St. Louis for example, (likely due to predjudice towards renters based on the demographics) I have hardly been able to find anywhere that’ll rent without a laundry list of requirements. So, I rent a room from a “partner in biz”. However, it’s not always available to me and I have to coordinate schedules with him. Problem is, even when I’ve had the place to myself and ready to host, people would still lie and ghost, play games and BS. So it’s hampered the thought of wanting to book into a full time place. 
 

So for clients: be flexible. If you can’t host, offer to get the hotel if the escort can’t host either. I’ve had plenty of clients do this, and even clients who were hosting: I had them come to me if for whatever reason, I needed the hotel anyway and it was easier.

Example: In Nashville earlier this month, the client was hosting. However, he was hosting at a big hotel, and I was staying at a friend’s. Both my friend and client had early mornings (client was nice enough to offer me his place, but): which would have involved me having to be up and out by 8 a.m. That’s inconvenient, and I learned my lesson letting someone else I was dating do that to me: and I broke up with him that same morning. So I suggested to the client that I would rather get a room and have him come over. 
 

So yeah, it sounds like it’s not an issue and it should be simple but no: it’s a real issue. Who hosts and who travels. The solution is: every man who wants to have 1 on 1 time needs to be willing to do BOTH. If I can go book a hotel for a client, a client can book a hotel for an escort…if the escort doesn’t have the means to do so. Unless you’re willing to send a deposit. 
 

 

Edited July 22, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut