Extortion by NYC escort

[ttm269]

Booked an escort off rent men. When he arrived, he looked absolutely nothing like his pics. Completely different person. He was a catfish. I asked him to leave immediately, then he demanded his full payment. When I told him I’m not paying anything cause he’s not the guy in the pics, he started shouting and causing a scene at 2 AM. Then he proceeds to pull out his phone and starts recording me. After the video, I decided to pay him the $200 we initially agreed on via Cash App. From the cashapp transaction, he learns my full legal name. He then asks me to make it 300. I absolutely refuse, then he increases it to $500 claiming it’s because I wasted his time and was disrespectful to him (by telling him that he was a catfish). So now I don’t know what to do. He says if I don’t pay him the $500, he’ll post the video online with my face and my name. I managed to tell him let’s go outside to the atm so I can get the money. I walk behind him and once he’s out the apartment building door, I shut it immediately behind him. Help, any advice? I don’t know what to do. He has my number, the video, my name. I’m in grad school and this would probably destroy me. I don’t know what to do. Please only constructive advice. No form of chastising would make me feel more shittier than I already do.

[Walt]

I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. I had something very similar happen with the addition of a little physical pushing, but about 15 years ago.  It was terrifyingly scary in the moment and devastating for quite a while.

What helped me was telling another provider who I knew well. He was so generous in his listening and sincere in talking through the whole experience. It calmed me SUBSTANTIALLY. I don't know who else in my life I could have told though...so my advice may not be easy for you to do. I suggest talking to someone and spilling out how you feel about it and all the many, many directions your thoughts are going right now. Someone, anyone. If there is no one that you can think of that you are comfortable talking to, keep writing about it: in a letter to yourself, or in your journal, or even on this web site. We understand.  You need to get that toxic psychic energy out of endless loop inside....

By the way, in my situation, the original provider didn't pursue any of the threats he made. And I also assure you: Time does heal all wounds!

[+ azdr0710]

I'm only guessing?? that he ends up not posting anything........the filming and the threats were probably to scare you into giving him more money at that moment......you gave him 200/300 and that might calm him down later.......

move on with your day, get back to studying, go for a long walk or jog, etc......the stress will go away......he has probably moved on to the next scam......

by the way, I've reported this guy to RM and the ad will probably be gone very soon.....

Edited February 16, 2023 by azdr0710

[Muscleaddict333]

Please ask for a quick FaceTime. Edification before meeting anyone new! Play safe gents!

[MscleLovr]

So sorry you had this experience @ttm269

My advice is Do NOT pay him any more $. It’s very unlikely that he will threaten you further, but if he does, stay calm and say that you will report him to the Police for extortion.

You acted correctly IMO. View the experience this way. Now you know 

• to meet a guy (hire And non-hire) in a public place first, before inviting them to your apartment.
• why physical $ cash (not an online payment) is best.
• how to get a jerk out of your home - you prioritised your personal safety!

[DWnyc]

Congrats on handling this well - for your safety foremost, and to minimize financial damage.

I am frankly sick and tired of hearing providers complaining about clients wasting their time and why this means they need to charge deposits (with paper trail), or require electronic payments or photo for security etc - I would have even a tiny bit of sympathy if the legitimate concerns on the client side were acknowledged, just once.

The worst I ever faced so far (touch wood) was leaving my wallet in someone’s apartment and texting him as soon as I left when I realized, and him letting me back into his apt but then demanding 1 hr $ for the “trouble” I caused him. When I said I don’t have the cash he replied “I just checked and you do”. I’m sure he photographed my drivers license while he was at it. I did get my wallet back and paid him what he asked and was glad to be done with him and leave as soon as I could. Apparently he had a track record of this type of stuff and disappeared from the site shortly after.

The good news is there was no further damage - nothing on my credit card, no harassment to my address etc and I’m sure it will be the same for you. He would probably be easy to track down and he’s likely betting that a few instances of low volume extortion will pay off with larger / repeat scale becoming problematic. 

[CuriousByNature]

This sounds horrendous and very scary for you.  Is there a link to this individual so others can be on guard?

Regardless, this will NOT destroy you, no matter how you are feeling at this moment.  Try to stay strong and remember that he is breaking the law by extorting you.  Wishing you much peace and comfort.

[pubic_assistance]

The only reason Escorts are able to extort money out of people is the sense that you won't go to the police and admit that you hired an escort in the first place.

This is why I always suggest that on a first meet. Ask for a massage.

Massage work is perfectly legal, and priced more cheaply. If you like the guy after a simple massage session and you know they also escort, then you have a relationship already established and any sexual connections in your future are a matter of two consenting adults agreeing to meet for some fun.

Don't let this event freak you out about trying again. Just change your strategies and never have them meet in your apartment or hotel room. Always meet outside to confirm that it's the same person you were engaging online.

Good luck.

[Thelatin]

Sorry to hear this.  If it helps, I’ve been trolled by a disgruntled x more than you could ever imagine.  Every obscene accusation under the sun.  He’s created fake accounts trolling me on honestly every digital platform you can imagine.  Guess what…..nobody cares.   People are busy with their own lives and problems.

Edited February 16, 2023 by Thelatin

[BtmBearDad]

As I posted in the thread on the provider in question, I’m so sorry this happened to you, @ttm269. Unfortunately, you’re not the first, and won’t be the last hobbyist to have such a nasty, frightening experience. 

I echo what have said, I doubt he will follow thru on his threats - I’m sure he’s already targeting his next mark. 

While this is in no way meant to chastise, I would offer the following advice:

• Always use this forum to vet any provider you may be interested in. Always. Even if your fellow hobbyists have no direct experience with the fellow in question, you can always frame your inquiry so that they can also recommend other, similar providers with the same “look”, offering the same services. Something like “Any first hand info on Provider X? If not any other recommendations for guys with the same general look/build/etc in the area who are top/btm/vers, and offer x/y/z?” You may very well find a provider that ticks all your boxes, and have some assurance the provider comes recommended, and is not a scammer. 
• Whenever practicable, always try to meet first in a public location. This way if he is not the gent in the pics, or if the pics are so outdated or photoshopped, or you just get a bad vibe, you can extricate yourself quickly and safely. 
• Cash is king. Just have enough cash on you to cover the agreed on fee, and a bit more should you opt to tip. I know some hobbyists who won’t even bring their wallet/cards with them if they’re meeting a provider at their location, and if they’re hosting will hide any personal, and valuable items. Personally, I don’t go that far, but I don’t have providers I’m meeting for the first time at my home - no matter how highly recommended they’ve come. 

Again, very sorry this happened to you. Now, exhale, and do something you enjoy to try and relax, and out this behind you. 
 

Cheers,
BBD 

[BtmBearDad]

20 minutes ago, CuriousByNature said:

Is there a link to this individual so others can be on guard?

Check on this thread on AceReady: 

 

Edited February 16, 2023 by BtmBearDad
Added link

[+ FrankR]

6 minutes ago, BtmBearDad said:

Check on this thread on AceReady: 

 

Always be wary of new accounts on Rentmen. 

[caramelsub]

I’m sorry this happened to you. This is why I refuse to hire anyone without verified reviews. Especially in nyc where there are so many other options. I had a similar experience 10 years ago using backpage. The escort came in my hotel room and looked nothing like his pics. I confronted him, he got angry and pretended to call a friend saying I wouldn’t give him his donation, and telling my location. I paid him the cash, and thankfully he left, and never heard from him again. Luckily the fake escort’s donation was just 60 dollars. Nowadays I rarely run into fake escorts, because of my vetting process. But if I do I don’t confront them. I just pay and leave. Too many sextortionists and robbers out there.

Edited February 16, 2023 by caramelsub

[BuffaloKyle]

Do not give him any more money! I 100% guarantee if you do he'll ask for more then again.

[excelntsvc]

years ago i had a hotel episode witha  provider who wanted to double his fee ... when his threats escalated, I picked up the phone and called security ... he took out like a bat out of hell .... in your circumstance, I'd simply have called the cops ... that alone would have sent him running ... giving him access to your private info is scary ... if something further happens, call the police and deal with it

 

[TorontoDrew]

It's because of things like this why I would never have a provider come to my home.  It's easier to just leave.

[BaronArtz]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

The only reason Escorts are able to extort money out of people is the sense that you won't go to the police and admit that you hired an escort in the first place.

This is why I always suggest that on a first meet. Ask for a massage.

Massage work is perfectly legal, and priced more cheaply. If you like the guy after a simple massage session and you know they also escort, then you have a relationship already established and any sexual connections in your future are a matter of two consenting adults agreeing to meet for some fun.

Don't let this event freak you out about trying again. Just change your strategies and never have them meet in your apartment or hotel room. Always meet outside to confirm that it's the same person you were engaging online.

Good luck.

Excellent advice!  

That is precisely why I follow the same strategy - always ask for a massage first.

 

[DWnyc]

Just as a caveat, there are plenty of providers with excellent reviews online and good anecdotal feedback here where I (and others I know) have experienced bad / potentially scary things.

So take the precautions always, even when a provider seems totally legit, and remember there might be a very slippery slope from a provider’s good day to a bad one. Not maligning all or anywhere near most providers - but it just has to be a couple to ruin interaction for all of us. 

[NJF]

I am sure that many on this forum have been catfished so it is just a learning experience lol. 
You can certainly set up a pseudo name for cashapp or Venmo, so your real name will not be exposed next time.

[Lazarus]

Everyone needs to file a complaint with Rentascam right now & demand to know how & why this SAME person is allowed to post fake ads on their platform every other day. This guy has been doing this for years & Rentascam needs to take ownership & responsibility for it. Obviously the people that work over there are total fuck ups & this could have been avoided if they knew how to do their fucking jobs. If this was based in the US I would do everything in my power to take them down . Please email them now!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I love how some of you think Rentmen gives a shit. 

They aren't the BBB. They're outside of US jurisdiction.  They have zero skin in this game.

There is some good advice here though.  Use every tool you have at your disposal to make sound judgements.

Also, and I know the OP doesn't want to hear this, but if you tread in a highly unregulated industry, don't be shocked when you get involved in unsavory things. 

If you've got a lot to lose- and it sounds like you do- you need to be more careful in the future.

[hotmusljckbtm]

This happened to me a while back in Boston. I even called the provider ahead of time to verify via voice (which you can usually tell if they're a catfish or scammer). I was expecting a colombian hottie to show up. He knocked on my hotel room and as I opened the door (I didn't look in the peep hole, lesson for the future), a young gay thuggish looking fellow barged in demanding his money with his cell phone on record with the flash on and pointing it any my face.

He was demanding his money or else he said he would call the cops. I asked him to leave and he continued to be beliggerent and said that he was underage (i'm pretty sure he wasn't). I gave him the money honestly to go away b/c it was becoming annoying more than anything, especially as his scam was quickly evident. I look back and think that the only thing I could have done different was 1) check the peep hole and if it wasn't what his pics looked like, not answer the door and pretend I wasn't there. 2) turn on my phone and record him describing his scam. 

It was a lesson learned definitely. Sorry you had to go through your experience. 

[Alex93108]

Maybe we know this persons profile? Or ask lease post screen shots

[+ DrownedBoy]

4 hours ago, excelntsvc said:

years ago i had a hotel episode witha  provider who wanted to double his fee ... when his threats escalated, I picked up the phone and called security ... he took out like a bat out of hell .... in your circumstance, I'd simply have called the cops ... that alone would have sent him running ... giving him access to your private info is scary ... if something further happens, call the police and deal with it

 

I did something similar when the escort acted weird and demanded money to leave (was on drugs). Instead of running away, the moron ran into the hotel lobby and made a scene and started telling random people he was an escort.

Security kicked him out and told him not to return. I stayed and had a nice meal at their restaurant.

Moral: when an escort acts like a criminal, he will be treated as one, and it's very unlikely anything will come of it for the client.

Edited February 17, 2023 by DrownedBoy

[Lazarus]

Although Rentmen doesn’t give a shit…they should. I never said they did but it would not hurt if they were bombarded with a number of complaints. Btw…I’m curious as to where this scammer was going to post the video of this guy so that  his friends & family would see it?